Sleep deprived, my exhausted mind only prayed to god for her to be with me again. It's been approximately a week since I've had a wink of sleep. It's also been approximately a week since she left me. She knows my acute insomniac behaviors occur every now and then due to stress, but still, she left. My heart is still broken, and now my mind is too. 

I feel like I'm drunk, it's been awhile since this happened. Usually what I do in these situations is write, read, watch jibang reviews, do whatever to fill in the time. As exhausted as I am, my brain is still functioning I suppose.  

Right now I'm laying down in my bed inside this gross dorm room. I've been living here for 2 years but I still think it's unpleasing to the eye, especially those blackspots on the ceiling, what are those anyway? Wait, has those always been there or is it one of my hallucinations again?  

I don't know what to believe anymore, it's difficult to believe anything when your brain tends to play tricks on you. Like, I just heard my dorm room click open when I've locked it and I live here alone. I'm not even going to bother to get up and check, I hope it's a serial killer. They can do me a favor by making me sleep forever. 

"Yerin"  

Great, I knew this would happen. Now I'm hearing things. When this first happened it was so scary, but from what I can remember the voices weren't this calming?  

"Yerin, are you okay?"  

Yes I'm okay, why wouldn't I be? I mean it's only a week, right? I've experienced worst periods of no sleep.  

This has never happened before but now my nose is playing tricks on me too. There's a scent, a very familiar scent. It's a scent that I've been yearning for. 

"I'm sorry baby please go to sleep, I'm here. Please be okay"  

I didn't know hallucinations could advance like technology. This feels so real, I feel someone hugging me from behind, I feel her hugging me from behind. I feel my hair being pushed to the side and soft kisses being trailed behind my neck. Those definitely feel like her lips, I'd know. But all and all, this isn't real. 

I think my mind is too exhausted and started making up scenarios so I'd fall asleep. I mean, I'm not complaining. This is definitely working, I feel my eyelids are getting heavier every second. I also feel her loud thumping heart against my back, I missed that. Sometimes her heartbeat was my lullaby.  

"I love you"  

"I love you too"  

And just like that, my eyes finally close as I fall into my own slumber. I hope she appears in my dreams too, but it'll be my personal hell if I wake up alone again.