“i'm the dead plant sitting on your window sill,
watching as you water everything else” / softly

“you can’t keep missing school every time you feel miserable.” nayeon entered jennie’s room unceremoniously.

her voice cut into the silence of the empty house.

“i can’t?”

jennie sat in a pile of manga and empty chip bags, curled up into her comforter.

“no, you can’t.”

nayeon sat beside her on the edge of the bed, yanking the cover from off over her head. jennie responded with a groan, her hair sticking up in strange angles from her haphazard bun.

“maybe one day you’ll learn how to resolve conflicts like an adult.” nayeon said wistfully.

“what does that mean?”

a sigh.

“nothing.”

“nayeon, am i a bad person?”

“maybe not a bad person, you just say the wrong thing sometimes. you don’t think before you talk and only blurt out whatever comes to mind.” nayeon frowned thoughtfully. “if you like minho you should tell him, don’t just bottle it up inside you until you start doing weird things. isn’t that what lead to this mess in the first place?”

“i can’t just tell him, it has to be perfect.”

“it will never be perfect, jennie. he has a girlfriend, nothing about this is perfect.” nayeon warned her sagely. “you’re not confessing so you can steal him away, you’re confessing so you feel better.”

jennie frowned.

“why are you saying it like that? how am i going to feel better if i don’t at least have a chance?”

“it’s not about having a chance. if you murdered someone, you’d go to the station to confess so you could clear your conscious. not because you can un-murder someone. it’s all for you.”

jennie’s frown deepened.

nayeon gave her a look of frustration and pity.

“forget it, jennie. just do whatever you want.”

before either could speak, the doorbell rang, echoing throughout the house. jennie gave her friend a dejected look, causing her to go answer the door with a scowl.

“ah, hello.” minho greeted in surprise when he saw the wrong girl answer the door. “i want to talk to jennie.”

“i was just on my way out.” nayeon answered curtly. she went back to grab her bag before whispering to jennie. “this is your chance.”

she left with a wave, leaving minho awkwardly standing in jennie’s room as she frantically tried to cover up the dismal state of her cluttered bed.

“i won’t be here long.” minho said after clearing his throat. “i just…”

“what is it?” she sounded more hopeful than she should have been, than she wanted to be. she could read his face. she knew he wasn’t going to give her good news.

“i’m upset you’re not treating hayi well. i’m worried it’s because i haven’t been hanging out with you like we used to.”

“you think i’m jealous?” jennie asked, her voice nearly quivering. “why would you think that?”

she knew. of course she knew why.

but did he really know how far she had taken herself?

(how far yet she was willing to go?)

“jennie.” he sounded tired.

“i love you.” she confessed with the steely courage of desperation. “i am jealous… i don’t want you to be with hayi. you should be with me.”

“it doesn’t work like that.” the guy in front of her was starting to look less and less like her childhood friend. “i’m dating hayi.”

“but if i had confessed first you wouldn’t be dating her at all.”

“je