"i loved mysteries until you became one" / you loved me you killed me

“what about this dress?”

a twirl.

“what about it?”

a pout.

“does it say, ‘happy birthday i’m in love with you and have been for at least three years?’”

“maybe not in those exact words…”

“nayeon, please take this seriously.”

jennie threw herself onto the changing room couch with a huff. her friend beside her at her teeth, giving her a comforting pat.

“jennie, seriously everything you’ve tried on looks beautiful on you. just be yourself and it’ll be fine.”

just be yourself.

that was easier said than done. jennie had been biding her time since she started her first year at the same school as minho. the moment she’d realized her feelings she said she’d tell him, but it was never as easy as she thought it would be. maybe to nayeon and her other friends she was outgoing and confident, but minho knew better. she was a fake. that was why everything had to be perfect.

“you really like this dress?”

“yes, it’s perfect.”

jennie smiled before going back to the changing room.

she had a plan.

she would ask minho at school the next day if he wanted to come over for dinner. it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him to eat at her house, so he’d probably say yes. then they would walk home together, and talk about their days. she would want to reach out to hold his hand, but wouldn’t. she’d settle for peeks at his smooth collar bone through his slightly ed uniform shirt.

then, she’d make up an excuse to pick up something for dinner and tell him she’ll meet him at her house later. she’d pick up the cake she ordered and rush home to change into the perfect dress in time for him to come over. he’d ring the doorbell and surprise!

“happy birthday, my parents are gone for the weekend.”

she’d confess her feelings, he’d say he has always felt the same. she’ll feed him a forkful of cake and he’ll let her the icing from his lips.

and then they will live happily ever after.

...

“sorry, jennie. i can’t, i have work.”

her hand slipped from its perch on his desk, causing her to lose her balance for a moment.

you didn’t take the day off? she wanted to ask, but couldn't.

“oh.” was all she said, eyes turned to the floor.

it’s not like she didn’t know why he wanted to pretend it was a day just like any other.

but to her, it wasn’t.

she met him for the first time on his sixteenth birthday.

the rain soaked his oversized hoodie as he hauled boxes from the moving truck. she watched him from the window of the living room, her breath fogging up the glass. a tall man with glasses, who she later learned was minho’s father, stood outside the door of the villa. each time his father tried to help he would give him the smallest box.

when the storm subsided, her mother welcomed minho and his father into their home and poured them tea. she knew somehow not task where his own mother was. she could see it on the faces of both men that her absence pulled them down more than the rain soaking their clothes.

“raincheck?”

“what?”

“maybe we can postpone?”

she glanced at the clock, realizing she’d be late for the start of her own class as minho’s classmates began to pour in.

she gave him a bright smile.