“i'll admit that i ed up, but people change.” / i’m not the boy i used to be

[tw: domestic violence/abuse]

“You can’t come over anymore.” Jennie tells Jaewon as she rolls onto her side. “My sister’s moving in, she got kicked out of her place.”

“Your dad’s love child from Thailand?”

Jennie nods. He peppers kisses along her neck.

“The world is trying to tear us apart, baby.”

She brushes a strand of hair from his face, looking into his brooding eyes. His dark circles contrast against his pale skin like blueish, veiny bruises.

“You should cry for me.” She whispers, fingers tickling at his long lashes.

He pulls away.

“Why would I cry like some weak little ?”

“I like when guys cry. I think it’s y.” She pouts, but the emotions don’t reach her eyes.

She places her hand on his bare chest. Even with his shirt off his tattoos don’t make him seem .

“Then, you should get my name tattooed over your heart instead.”

“You think I wouldn’t?” He scoffs, a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s easy.”

“It hurts, right? I want to see it done. I’ll go with you.” She promises him. His teeth scrape along , his tongue soothing where the redness forms.

“And then you won’t leave me?”

“I won’t leave you.” She closes her eyes so he can’t see the lie. Even she knew her promises were cheap and easily broken.

Jaewon’s fingers tease at the lace of her lingerie. The sensation of his rough hands on her delicate skin tickles.

“Not even for that nerd Hanbin?”

“Not even for Hanbin.”

His hands greedily smooth across her curves.

“Not even if that bastard who broke your heart walked back into your life?”

Jennie pauses. She whimpers as Jaewon brushes across a sensitive spot.

“Not even for that bastard.”

Jaewon covers her body with his own. Sometimes he looks like he wants to eat her alive.

She wishes he would swallow her whole.

…

Jennie resists the urge to smoke before entering the dimly lit bar. She hates department parties, and Hanbin had abandoned her with some lame excuse.

But, still, it was better than helping her sister unpack.

“Jennie’s here! Jennie’s here!”

She cringes at the upperclassmen’s cheering, but hides it with a well-practiced smile.

“Your bodyguard isn’t here tonight?”

“No, he’s at his part time job.” She answers as the upperclassman pours her a drink. She hates the beer from pitchers at these parties, it tastes stale and bland. She takes a small, ladylike sip with a smile. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

“What’s his part time job? Stealing candy from babies?”

“You can only say that because he’s not here.” Another guy jokes.

Jennie smiles politely, her eyes turning into little crescent moons. Somehow even with the attention on her she still feels like an extra in the background. She wonders how much longer she needs to stay before it would be considered natural to leave.

Wasn’t Jungyeon supposed to be here, too? She looks but can’t find her.

“He’s here.” Someone to her side whispers.

The mood in the room changes.

“He really came, I’m surprised.”

“What is it?” Jennie asks Taehyung, driven by curiosity.

“Before you started school there was an upperclassman who was really popular.” Taehyung answers, leaning across the table unnecessarily. “But he had an accident and had to take time off school. I heard he was back, but I guess he’s really here.”

“Oh, I see.” Jennie draws back, her bo