“Yah! Where are you going?” he asked, clearly angry at me for trying to leave without telling him. He didn’t let go of my arm.

“I was… uhmm… a bit tired, I was just going to leave a little early,” I said. Even in my current state I felt a bit guilty for making him worry.

“You should have told me! I would have taken you home! Where you planning to take a bus back home this late?!” He incredulously asked, looking at me as if I wasn’t in my right state of mind. Maybe I wasn’t.

“I thought you were busy. Didn’t want to bother you. And, why do you even care?” I asked, with as much poison in my voice as I could muster. I couldn’t deny the fact that I was angry at Jongin. My irrational mind was telling me that I was betrayed, that I was led on. I hated feeling this way.

“Where’s this temper of yours coming from?” Jongin asked. He was also starting to get angry at me for my attitude.

There was a long moment of silence, and then I decided to damn all consequences.

“From you!” I said. “From how you play with my emotions, from your indecisiveness about what we are!”

Jongin suddenly became really serious. “Do you I really have to tell for you to know?”

“Tell me what?” I asked, not stopping to think about what his words meant as my reason was clouded by my raging emotions.

Unexpectedly, he started pulling towards the backyard.

“Yah! Kim Jongin, let go of me now! I want to go home! I’m tired of you!” I struggled against his grip, however he was stronger than me. I just kept screaming things at him, trying to get a reaction out of him.

I must accept that I might have been just a little (really) tipsy, and that maybe my actions weren’t quite adequate. However, I couldn’t think properly.

Once we were back in the garden, Jongin locked the door and turned to look at me.

“Yah! What do you think you’re doi-” I was cut off halfway through the sentence as Jongin suddenly took me by my waist and harshly pulled me towards him. Our faces were centimetres from each other.

Jongin looked right into my eyes, and slowly his gaze lowered until it reached my lips. I could feel my face burning up, and my anger slowly disappearing as I looked into his brown eyes. He his lips, and ever so slowly, he started to lean in.

When his lips touched mine I temporarily came back to my senses. I tried to resist by pushing him away from me and trying to pull my head back. I refused to be part of this game, this pushing and pulling. However, he continued kissing me.

Soon enough, I gave in. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. During this moment, I totally forgot what had made me angry, and I was lost in my senses. His lips were as soft and skilled as I imagined they would be. He also smelled really nice: sweet and fresh.

My hands gradually moved up his head, and intertwined with his hair. It was so soft against my fingers, and when I gently pulled on it Jongin would quietly moan against my mouth.

His hands weren’t idle either, they roamed my body as if they weren’t sure where their final destination was. They lightly pulled against my hair, or caressed my bare thighs, or gently cupped my s. I was also pretty sure I wasn’t being quiet either.

Jongin pulled me up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked towards the wall to prop me up against it. Jongin started to deepen the kiss as he started using his tongue. His hands also started getting more adventurous as they ever so slowly started to creep under my shirt.

Suddenly, I heard a light knock. It came from the backyard’s locked door, and it brought me back to my senses. I quickly pushed on Jongin’s chest and he finally let me go. I turned to look at him, still a little dazed, however not lost in him anymore.

“What was that for?” I asked. “You shouldn’t have done that…”

I had put some distance between us as I needed to be able to breathe for a moment. Being near him made my brain go stupid.  However, Jongin wouldn’t let me be. As soon as I stepped back he would closed the distance between us.

“Do you know why I did that?” he asked when he finally had me cornered against the wall and I had nowhere to escape to.

“NO!” I exclaimed, “and that’s what confuses me the most!! Sometimes I know there’s something between us, but then you just brush it off!! I don’t what to do, it is so frustr-”

“I did that because I really, really, like you,” he said, effectively stopping my rant.

“Huh?”

Did Jongin just confess? But it made no sense, I had just seen him with Irene.

“Where were you when you disappeared from the dance floor?” I asked, trying to make sense of the current situation.

“I went for some drinks,” Jongin simply said, as if his answer should make everything clear. However, it didn’t. When he stopped me from leaving his hands were empty. He was lying to me. I decided not to make much of big deal out of it. I decided to just tell him I didn’t like him so he wouldn’t feel burdened.

I don’t understand why he would lie to me like that. I thought he cared about me… At least enough so he wouldn’t play with my feelings. Did he feel pity for me? I started feeling disgusted. He had confessed to me right after he had being making out with Irene. Did he think I was stupid?

“Well… I think I don’t like you,” I said, trying to keep my face as serious as possible.

“Well,” he said, looking as if what I just said didn’t affect him at all, “there’s nothing we can do about that, is there?”

There was a moment of eternal silence, and then: “Do you want me to take you home?”

“It’s ok. I can go on my own.”