“Tae! Yoongi! Come on!” I sigh as I walk to the dorm building entrance. Seokjin is waiting impatiently. “Come on,” he whines. I smirk.

“Why don’t we just leave Tae behind because he’s taking so long?” I say, raising my voice. I hear Taehyung shout.

“I heard that! Don’t you dare!” I laugh, and he dashes out a moment later. He huffs, and sticks his tongue out at me. Seokjin rolls his eyes. I smirk. He pouts.

“Come on,” Seokjin says. The three of us all walk out of the dorm to Seokjin’s battered old car. How the thing still works is a mystery to me. Taehyung and I hop in the back, and we’re off.

We arrive a few minutes later. It’s a forest. I’m pretty sure we’re not allowed to be here, but it’s fine. We walk through the trees to a small frozen-over pond. We sit on the ice and sigh. I watch our breath billow out into the air. It’s quiet and calm. It’s the place we went to whenever we were stressed by school.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it,” I murmur. Taehyung sighs, and a look of sadness flashes over Seokjin’s face. “Are you okay, Jin?” I ask. Seokjin nods, but I catch the briefest pause of hesitation. “Jin…,” I warn. He gives me a look.

“I’m fine… really,” he says. He doesn’t look at me. Taehyung looks at us, confused. I sigh and drop the subject. He won’t talk, and we try not to talk about it in front of Taehyung. Taehyung looks puzzled, so I distract him.

“Tae, are we baking tomorrow?” I ask. Taehyung grins. “Do we have everything?” Taehyung nods. I wince inwardly at how many calories we’ll be consuming in the next few days. Taehyung’s snacks are… sugary. I shrug off the intrusive thoughts and think about how good they’ll be. Forget about the numbers… They’re Taehyung’s cookies. I won’t relapse. Not again. Not while I have them.

Seokjin glances at me. He raises an eyebrow. Are you okay? I smile at him. I’m fine, Jin. We have these kinds of silent conversations often. Taehyung looks between the two of us, thoroughly confused. I almost laugh at his perplexed expression.

I drum my fingers on the ice. I stand up, and look at Seokjin and Taehyung. They follow me, and we walk off again. I vaguely remember the way, and I lead them out of the forest to an abandoned building.

It’s an old concert hall. I found it in the summer between freshman and sophomore year. It’s technically closed to the public, but all that’s there to discourage us is a dinky old sign that says “Danger: Do Not Enter.” And a fence. But I broke the lock on the door a while ago, so we can enter whenever we want. I showed it to Taehyung in junior year when Taehyung was upset because some people were bullying him. Taehyung showed Seokjin when Seokjin was super anxious about finals and graduate school and all that.

Seokjin, of course, adores the hall. He tells us that his dream is to raise enough money to buy the hall and repair it, and eventually reopen it. I honestly cannot tell if he’s kidding or not. Whether he is or not, he loves the place. The place also has a piano that, by some miracle, is still in decent shape.

I open the fence, and we walk through the dirty glass double-doors. I pause and look at Seokjin. He smiles at me, and I take the lead. I lead us to a stage. The black grand piano stands there. I walk to it as if hypnotized. Taehyung watches me, entranced. I run my fingers along the keys before sitting. I press a key. The rest comes easily. The music flows from me straight out of my fingers into the keys. I lose myself in the music. The music is forever in a moment.

I’ve loved music since I was a child. It was my anchor when life was pulling me apart and every which way. It was the eye of the hurricane that was my life. It’s one of the few constants in my life. No matter what happens, I’ll still have my music.

Seokjin’s the same. Taehyung has Seokjin. Seokjin has Taehyung.

The song ends, and I look at them, panting slightly. I smile at them, and Taehyung claps. Taehyung plays the violin. He prefers singing, though. He can sing like an angel. He has made Seokjin sing, and he's amazing, but he doesn't believe Taehyung. Taehyung made me sing once. He promptly covered his ears and demanded I never do it again. Seokjin told me I sounded like a dying banshee. Taehyung told me his ears hurt. Rapping's okay though.

I always wondered why Seokjin didn’t go for a music major. Well, I know why. But I can’t help but wonder how things would be if he went for a music major. He went for medical because he wanted to help people… and the money, I suppose. After living poor and on one’s own for a while, whether one likes it or not, a person has to realize the importance of money. And Seokjin wants Taehyung to pursue his dreams without having to work his off like he did.

We walk out together. It’s going to be dark soon. The sky is lavender and pink. It’s lovely. Taehyung yawns, and I smile at him. We walk back to Seokjin’s car. Taehyung dozes off against my shoulder. I glance at him to make sure he’s sleeping, and I look at Seokjin.

“Are you really okay?” I ask softly. Seokjin shakes his head.

“I’ll be fine,” he whispers. “Are you okay?” I hesitate.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “Sometimes I am, and sometimes I’m not.” Seokjin nods. The rest of the drive passes in a peaceful, yet slightly unsettled, silence.

When we get to Seokjin’s apartment, Taehyung complains about the cold. Seokjin can’t afford a heater. Seokjin goes into the kitchen to make ginger lemon honey tea. Taehyung’s favorite. Taehyung trudges off to our room and comes back with a thick, fluffy throw blanket that Seokjin gave him last year for Christmas. He sits on the couch with the blanket wrapped around him. Seokjin hands him a cup of hot tea and Taehyung holds it in his hands. I get myself a cup of hot chocolate and sit on the couch next to Taehyung.

Seokjin joins us with a cup of peach tea. We sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company. I feel a warm weight in my lap and see Taehyung’s head. He’s already dozed off. I play with his hair.

About an hour later, Seokjin stands. He gently shakes Taehyung awake. Taehyung whines before opening his eyes. He frowns at Seokjin, and I gently tug on his hair.

“I’m going to Joonie’s for the evening,” he says. Taehyung pouts. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” Seokjin says. Taehyung pouts more.

“…Promise?” he asks after a moment. Seokjin smiles. His smile is almost pained.

“I promise.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I watch in horror as my father smashes the piano. My piano. I watch helplessly as the piano shatters under the baseball bat. Pieces of wood lie scattered around the room. My father pants softly as he turns to face me. His eyes are clear and cold. He doesn’t smell like alcohol for once.

I wish he did.

He snarls at me. “That should teach you to bring back anything less than perfect,” he spits. “You useless, stupid failure.” I feel tears stinging my eyes. He throws a crumpled paper at me. It lands at my feet.

“But sir, we didn’t―” I begin. He slaps me.

“Bull,” he hisses. “You’re just a worthless brat.” He smacks me again. “You just didn’t study. You spent too much time on that worthless thing.” I shake my head. He punches me. I fall to the ground. “Jimin would’ve gotten perfect. Jimin would’ve made me proud,” he hisses bitterly. I wince and blink back tears. He notices, of course. “Weak,” he spits. “Weak, worthless little brat.”

When he’s done with me, I crawl to the piano. I pick up a piece of the shattered piano. I feel tears coming up again. I wipe them away angrily.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whisper. “I tried… I really did.

“I wish you were still here.”

Small, soft hands wipe away my tears.