Seungwan awoke to a familiar, concerning sound. Immediately, her mind tried to think of excuses not to crawl out of bed. It was probably just Sooyoung, throwing up after a night of drinking. Or perhaps Seulgi, who’d fallen again after waking up to get a glass of water. Maybe it was even the rare, exasperated curse from Joohyun as she realized she’d run out of toothpaste. There was no need for concern. The velvety embrace of good sleep had eluded her during the past week, and she finally had some time to make up for it… 

    But, at the deepest portion of her mind, in the piece that was more instinct than conscious thought, Seungwan knew exactly what that sound was. Mewling and shuddering, muffled by a pillow, audible only due to the fact that its creator slept directly below Seungwan.

    Rubbing her eyes, Seungwan sat up, made her way to the miniature staircase at the side of her bunk, and leaned backwards. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she caught a glimpse of a trembling, fetal-positioned Yerim.

    Seungwan’s chest grew heavy with sympathy, and - despite her still half-asleep state - she soon found herself sitting quietly at the edge of the maknae’s bunk.

    “Hey, Yeri,” Seungwan said quietly, patting the brunette’s arm. “What happened?”

    Yerim sniffled and lifted her head from the pillow. The sight of her friend’s face made her already throbbing heart ache further. There were deep bags below the brunette’s eyes, highlighted by the sharp downturn of and the quivering, flat line her lips were pressed into. Seungwan reached out and wrapped her arms around Yerim, offering her an awkwardly-angled hug. As expected, the maknae still accepted it readily, hiding her face in the front of Seungwan’s pajama top.

    Seungwan ran her hand through Yerim’s hair and whispered comforting words to her. Generic things, filler words used as vehicles for the soothing, breathy tones they were conveyed in. This wasn’t the first time such a thing had happened. Yeri’s emotional burdens often came to haunt her at these hours. This type of breakdown was definitely more common during the early days of Yerim’s debut, but they still happened once in a while.

    Especially since she’d come back from Bali.

    After a minute or so, Yeri’s sobs began to taper off, trickling off into distant echoes, leaving gaps of rigid silence in their absence. Her breathing evened out, becoming a slow rise and fall. 

    “Do you wanna go back to bed, or do you want to talk?” Seungwan asked softly, just as she did when Yeri first debuted, just as she did for the past four days. She wondered if the maknae had already fallen asleep, and if she was about to spend another night in Yerim’s bed.

    “I w-wanna talk,” Yerim said shakily. Her voice was barely a croak, but there was a familiar strength behind it that filled Seungwan with hope. “If you’re willing to stay up and listen.”

    Gently, Seungwan pulled away, shifting so that her back was up against the wall.

    “Of course I am. We can stay up all night together, if you have to.”

    Yerim smiled, breaking through the somber veneer of her tears like a ray of sunlight through a stormcloud. It was a brief expression, lasting just long enough to make Seungwan smile, as well.

    “It’s about me and…” Yerim trailed off, her final words hitching slightly as she struggled to get them out. Seungwan took the maknae’s hands in her own and squeezed them. “It’s about me and Sae-ron.”

    Seungwan gave a slow nod and began to pat Yerim’s hands. There was a weight in Seungwan’s gut that told her she understood exactly where this was going to go. She didn’t want her hunch to be true, but judging by the evidence, it probably was.

    “Something happened in Bali, right?” Seungwan asked.

In truth, she knew little of Yerim’s friendship with Kim Sae-Ron. They’d known each other for a while, but they only started getting particularly close in these past few months. Going on dates several times a week, spending long evenings at one another’s homes… the pair had become inseparable. So inseparable, in fact, that they’d managed to start quite a few rumors among the idol community.

Rumors that, Seungwan thought, had likely been true.

    Yeri rested her head back against the wall, shut her eyes, and let out a long sigh  through her nose. The shadows played on her face in a way sharpened her features, making her look far older than she truly was. As if, somehow, the universe itself was trying to express the extent of Yerim’s traumas. 

    “Yeah, but I’ll start from the beginning,” Yerim said without opening her eyes. “From the moment I knew that I’d fallen in love. It was about six months ago…”

***

    And the weather was pretty cold. There was even a little bit of snow on the ground, which was weird for so early in the winter. There weren’t a lot of people outside. It was pretty late at night. Sae-ron was technically breaking her curfew to see me, but we did that sort of thing for each other all the time. It was normal.

    We met up by the Han River. You know, right across from the dorms? Near that underpass with the playground that Seulgi-unnie and I used to go to. The walk was only about ten minutes, so I got there first. I remember thinking that there was something different about that night. Something I’d never felt before. There was this… charged quality about everything. It made the world seem more vibrant. The air smelled strongly of fresh snow, and the lights off the Han River were absolutely beautiful. There was this weird sensation in my stomach, like I’d swallowed a bunch of those little pop rock candies. When I got to the underpass, I couldn’t just stand there and wait, so I went to the swingset.

My breath fogged in front of my face as I sat there, staring out at all the glittering buildings, trying to figure out how I felt. I thought, at first, that it was excitement. I hadn’t seen Sae-ron in over a week. That was a long time for us. But the thing I felt on that day wasn’t entirely pleasant. It made me fidgety and uncomfortable, made me want to jump around and run and circles, the kind of feeling y