“You want me to put my hand where?” Jinyoung gulped as the dance instructor sighed and placed his hand on Hana’s .

“She doesn't bite,” the instructor sighed.. “You can touch her.”

Hana threw her head back and laughed. “I can't believe you were the least awkward option.”

Jinyoung could feel himself getting even redder. When Seokmin had pulled him and Seunghoon aside and told them one of them would be added to a project group with Hana, well, he’d been ecstatic of course. Min Hana! Most beautiful person in the universe! The song itself was nice too, Troublemaker, it had this infectious whistle and everything, and plenty of vocal lines for him! That was great too! But then, oh then, then the dance instructor had demonstrated the dance she’d created for them and Jinyoung’s ears had never lost their redness.

“For real?” he asked. They’d never really talked about the fact that they’d tried out Seunghoon for the unit first, but he couldn’t imagine anyone would be more awkward than he was right now.

“Yeah,” Hana said with a snort. “He wasn’t giving me anything at all! You’re at least getting those cute red ears and getting all embarrassed. That’s something we can work through. Seunghoon oppa, well, I’ve never had so little effect on a dance partner before!” Did he imagine it or did she sound offended?

“Come on, less chatting more practicing,” the instructor said. She placed Jinyoung’s hand on Hana’s waist again. “Touch her! Don’t do that weird hover hand thing that shy men do all the time, really touch her. Hand. On. Body. You have to sell this dangerous chemistry! You don’t even have to touch her that much, just for the chorus.”

Jinyoung resisted the urge to pull his hand back like he’d been shocked. Man, he thought about touching women all the time but, like, actually doing it was so much different.

The instructor glanced at the clock. “That’s my time for the day,” she said. “You’ve got about half the dance now so I suggest you both practice and try to get more comfortable with each other so that tomorrow won’t be a complete waste of time, okay? They didn’t give much time to prepare so we all have to put in our all, and that mostly means you. See you tomorrow!”

Hana waited until the instructor was out the door before she turned towards Jinyoung. “Okay, what is the deal here?”

Jinyoung took a step back. “What do you mean?”

“All of this,” she said, gesturing to all of him. “You’re slouching, you’re hardly touching me at all, and you freeze every time I get close. It’s not even that you’re not attracted to me, I see the ears, there’s something here but you shy away like a beaten dog. Who hurt you?”

Jinyoung couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at that. “No one hurt me, it’s just a little awkward to have to be all, like, grindey with someone I don’t know. I mean don’t get me wrong you’re beautiful, like, really beautiful…..” he cleared his throat as his eyes wandered and snapped them back to her eyes. “But- actually that probably doesn’t help at all-”

To his relief Hana just laughed. “Oh, you’re adorable! Look, I get it, it can be hard to feign that kind of closeness on stage if you’re not used to it, so why don’t we get to know each other?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be practicing the moves?”

“The way I see it we can either practice all evening and you’ll still be awkward and afraid to touch me. Or we can sit on the ground and get to know each other and maybe by the end of it you won’t be so afraid of me.” Hana sat down cross-legged on the floor and gave the space in front of her a pat. “Well?”

Jinyoung looked behind him to make sure the dance instructor really had left before sitting down. “Okay? What now?”

She smiled kindly, to her credit. Jinyoung knew he was being a little ridiculous but she made him so nervous he couldn’t do anything about it! “Let’s make a deal,” she said.

“What kind of deal?”

She smiled, eyes squinted just so that she looked like a little imp, hair spilling out of the bun and onto her shoulder and onto her- ooookay time to get back to her eyes. “We’re idols who are about to debut as a scandalous duo, we’re going to be keeping up an image, selling whatever lies we have to tell, the usual bull. You know what the industry is like. I know what the industry is like. So let’s make a deal: we can lie to everyone else, but let’s try to be honest to each other, okay? Have each other’s backs, god knows no one else will. What do you think of that?”

Jinyoung nodded. “Okay. Okay I can do that.” Maybe. There were definitely things he didn’t want to tell her, like the amount of times he’d ‘accidentally’ looked at her s today, but other than that he could manage, he thought. It was a challenge levelled and he wasn’t going to lose it.

“So, where are you from?” She asked, shaking the strand of hair off her very slight and very white shoulder. Was that natural or was she bleaching her skin like mad every night like he was? Probably bleaching, that porcelaine tone didn’t just come from nowhere.

“Seoul,” Jinyoung answered. “I’ve never lived anywhere else.”

“Me too!” Her face lit up at that small thing, imp replaced by genuine excitement, vixen by human being. “I’d probably go crazy if I didn’t have at least a thousand people around in me at all times, I can’t imagine what it’s like to know everyone in your immediate vicinity, that’s horrifying! Do you have a question for me?”

“Why did you leave SM?” Jinyoung wondered. “Wouldn’t you have had guaranteed success there?”

“Going straight for the good stuff, I see,” Hana said.

“I’m sorry, it’s okay if you don’t want to answer?”

“Nonsense,” she said. “This is good, no beating around the bush. SM never had any intention of debuting me, not after I grew into all of this,” she motioned down her body. “Well, grew into with a little bit of help from Gangnam oppa.” Jinyoung must have looked shocked because she laughed right to his face. “Oh don’t be like that, didn’t we say be honest? We can be as coy as we have to be about plastic surgery to the masses, but what does it matter in here? Anyway, SM likes their idols perfect, squeaky clean and pure, perfect for men all over the country to fantasize about their innocent little girl child in her short skirt and inviting smile. You know the type. I was too scandalous to ever even consider me, but they must have found out too late the kind of harlot they had on their hands. I do believe they were the ones who contacted Helix about me, before I know it I was in an office being strongly encouraged to transfer.”

“That .” Jinyoung knew a little bit of rejection but to be cast out by a company that would’ve guaranteed legions of fans upon debut seriously had to sting. The things Jinyoung would’ve given to his hips on an SM-sponsored stage...

She shrugged. “It’s not like I didn’t see it coming, and I was guaranteed a debut here even if it wasn't under SM. In the end we all have to make our own fortune, I imagine you’ve learned that the hard way yourself.”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung said. Though, really, it was Chanhee who had made their fortune. He didn’t say that out loud, though.

“Alright, my turn to ask you a question! Why did you want to become an idol?”

Jinyoung considered for a moment how much he should say. She’d been honest with him, maybe he should try and do the same? That was what their deal, right? “It, eh, is the one thing I’m really good at, like really good. Singing, I mean. So it seemed a given that that’s what I’d do with my life, you know?”

“Is it?”

“Is it what?”

“A given?” Hana asked, tilting her head almost like an inquisitive puppy.

Jinyoung squirmed a bit. Why was she arguing? “I think so! Plus H.O.T were the .”

She laughed, none of that innocent melodic bull. Hana’s laugh was loud and genuine and far from graceful. “Can’t deny that one.”

“How about you?” He wondered.

“I got street cast,” she said. Right. That made sense. “But I suppose it boils down to much the same. I was good at standing out, so now I’m professionally standing out. Plus training at SM lightened some financial load for my mom, it was an easy decision at the time.”

“Do you regret it?” Jinyoung asked. , he probably shouldn’t have said that, was he overstepping?

“Hell no,” Hana said. Phew, she seemed completely unbothered. “It’s hard sometimes, sure, but it’ll be worth it. Why, you’re not regretting things are you?”

Jinyoung quickly shook his head. “No! I mean the hiatus was hard but I always knew it would end and then things would get right back on track.” He wasn’t going to be regretting anything, not now and not after 7 years. Take that.

“Alright, it’s my turn to ask, then-”

They spent almost an hour asking each other questions back and forth, anything from personal questions to just what their favorite music or food was. By the time she told him to get his in gear again he did feel a little less awkward. She was a person now, a really really really hot person but a person! With great s. But person!

For however little good that did.

“Relax,” she said, and wrapped his arm around her waist as per the choreography. “Remember, none of this is for us, it’s all for them. We’re just players in the idol game, we’re just putting on a show.”

Jinyoung nodded. He had to stop thinking of it as touching her, Hana, the person. It wasn’t Hana the person, it was Hana the idol. But it was hard when she was so- so- so- there.

She nudged him. “Hey, if I had to start something with every boy who touched my to make me look y  I’d have no time left for myself!”

He couldn’t help but burst out laughing, how did she go around being so scandalous all the time?! “That’s terrible!” he said.

She winked. “Maybe I am terrible. I told you I’m not a good girl.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” he burst out when he accidentally brushed her .

She just laughed at him again. “Oppa. Chill. I’d like to think I’m pretty good at gauging people, I’m pretty sure you’re not deliberately trying to cop a feel.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “Look at me. It’s okay to touch my , just like I have to touch your . No butts shall remain untouched in this endeavor. Okay? It’s a goddamned free for all. And you have a real nice .”

It was so ridiculous Jinyoung had to laugh awkwardly, feeling his face flush a million shades of red. She liked his !!! All the squats in his life were suddenly worth it. “Okay. Okay. Let’s run through that again?”

“Only if you don’t pee your pants this time,” she said with a grin.

“You’re so mean!”

“Come on, from the top.” She turned the music back on filling the room with that catchy whistle. “Like you mean it this time.”

Seunghoon squinted against the afternoon sun. The music of some rehearsal could be heard loud and clear in the background while the fresh evening air on the balcony was a welcome relief. He could hear Minjun chattering behind him in the waiting room, could feel the resentment coming from Yoonah as she struggled with getting Youngbae to sit still, could hear Jinyoung warming up his voice mixing in with the rest of the background noise. He could see the empty bleachers of the Seoul World Cup Stadium where thousands of fans of various group would soon take their seats for Dream Concert.

What was he doing here?

Why was he doing this?

At least the waiting room was nice. All of the rooms were on the upper floors of the attached building, and each had attached balconies overlooking the stadium itself. He couldn’t see the stage but he would be able to see the fans later on and hear the music and that was something.

Dream Concert.

They’d never been invited before, nobody had cared enough about Aeon to even consider them for the lineup. That was all different now. They’d had fansigns. They’d done photoshoots for actual magazines. People were recognizing them on the street, asking for autographs or photos. People knew them now.

And thus they were at Dream Concert.

There were so many groups he didn’t even know, they must have debuted while Aeon had been on hiatus. BTOB. VIXX. MBX. Speed, EXO. He’d heard about EXO at least, SM’s flopped little pet project with the thousands of teasers. He kind of liked Mama regardless, it was something new, even if some of the elements were rather ridiculous. Gregorian chants? Screamo? Weird cult-like fantasy backstory stuff? He had to respect SM for the audacity of it all. The other though? He had no idea who they were.

There were some familiar faces at least. They’d run into the girls of Sistar plenty of times since their debut, he felt comfortable saying hi and exchanging some words. Bora, especially, was quite friendly, he liked her. SHINee was here too, and sometimes Seunghoon managed to not be too embarrassed about past instances to talk to them. SNSD to even talk to them but they were here, larger than life as they were, but he’d probably die if he ever attempted  conversation. Taeyeon was so short and beautiful and her voice was even better in real life than on record!

Infinite was forever haunting them, too. Somehow they always ended up at the same events or the same music shows. He didn’t much care about them but he knew Jinyoung and Youngbae and even Chanhee sometimes still felt grudging about the whole synchronization thing and every time they were in the same room there was some tension.

And Eunha! Eunha was here! Surprisingly! She didn’t seem like she was very big but somehow she’d snagged an invitation for Dream Concert and he was really excited to see her! That was something to genuinely look forward to today.

Not that he didn’t look forward to performing. He liked singing, didn’t even mind dancing that much. It was just… feelings were hard to figure out. He thought he would be super excited to finally be back on stage. He thought he’d be ecstatic to be invited to an event like Dream Concert for the very first time. He should be both those things but… He shook his head. He was fine. This would be good!

He leaned forward on the balcony railing, closed his eyes, and felt the soft cool breeze against his skin. He tried desperately not to think about the last time he’d been standing on a balcony somewhat like this, in some love motel. Tried even harder not to think about the fact that he’d probably never see that night’s companion again. He hadn’t even been brave enough to call, he’d sent Dongmin a text. A single text.

He was a goddamned coward.

Sometimes it was hard to remember why he was here at all. Why he’d decided this.

He supposed it didn’t really matter in the end. Here he was. What had Dongmin said about regrets? No use speculating what could have been, what is was the only thing that mattered.

There were some other people on their various balconies too, each one was separated by metal railing but otherwise they could see each other. There was someone he didn’t recognize on the balcony right next to him. He seemed to be listening to the girl group who was rehearsing right now (Sistar? He thought he recognized Hyorin’s breathy singing, and was that Alone? He liked that song.), hands and chest performing dance moves Seunghoon could only assume were part of the official dance, too absorbed to look Seunghoon’s way. Suddenly there his leg went sliding along the floor as the chorus came on and the guy seemed to go for it 100%. Seunghoon couldn’t look away, it was like a train wreck happening right in front of his eyes except the dancing was actually pretty good. The guy hopped around as part of the dance and turned halfway to look over his shoulder and he locked eyes with Seunghoon. He startled so much he actually fell over, clinging to the railing for dear life. “Oh my god, I did not see you!”

“yeah , I’m just going to… check in with my group…” Seunghoon retreated from the balcony, feeling the sharp loss of his little hidey hole. Back inside the waiting room things were as he’d left them. The stylist was still struggling with Youngbae. Jinyoung was still listening to some music and singing to warm up his voice despite the fact that it’d be hours yet before the concert would start. Wonwoo was attempting to read in the corner while Minjun was talking to him about something. Seunghoon didn’t really care enough to truly listen. Seokmin was sitting quietly within the chaos, frowning at his phone. 

Chanhee was admiring himself in the mirror, brushing a hand through his hair just so, seeing what he liked best, until Yoonah smacked his hand away. Everyone had collectively ignored the fact that Chanhee had been sobbing on a sofa just a week ago and he was taking it like a champ. Seunghoon thought he’d heard Chanhee cry in his room a few more isolated times but whenever the group was together he was putting in 200% effort. He really was an excellent actor. Or alternative just really good at ignoring his problems, and who was Seunghoon to throw stones there?

“When will you need us again, hyung?” Seunghoon asked Seokmin. “I’d like to take a walk around and say hello to some friends.”

Seokmin looked up from his phone. “Did you get your makeup done?”

“I did.”

“Then I suppose we won’t need you until it’s time to get dressed in,” he checked his watch. “Three hours. Though I’d like you back before then. Who are you visiting?”

“Eh… BTOB,” he lied, taking the first name he remembered from the setlist. “We met backstage at Inkigayo last month.”

“Okay then, that doesn’t sound like a problem.” Seokmin nodded. “If they’re famous try to get a selfie with them to promote yourself.”

“They’re not,” Seunghoon said. He slipped out the door before Seokmin could change his mind and looked around. Each door held a paper sign with ‘Dream Concert - Group Name’ on it but nowhere in Aeon’s vicinity did he see Lim Eunha. How was he going to find the Eunha-shaped needle in this haystack?

He was so busy looking at all the signs that he literally bumped into someone he’d never expected to see again. “Sorry!” Seunghoon quickly apologized. “I didn’t see you.”

“No harm done,” the guy said with a deep voice that Seunghoon definitely remembered. The guy looked him up and down and Seunghoon returned the gesture. He was a lot more idol-looking than the last time Seunghoon had seen him. He was all dressed up in white with belts where there really was no reason to be belts, hair bleached and coloured to hell and back instead of the terrible toothbrush shaped mohawk, but that gorgeous dimple was still there. “Hey, I know you,” the guy said. “Didn’t I bump into you once?”

“Eeeh,” Seunghoon hesitated. “Maybe?”

“Yeah! I did! You were the one who helped me find Eunha noona’s room and then ran away!”

Oh no why did he have to remember?! It was only okay when Seunghoon remembered, goddamnit. “Oh, yeah,” Seunghoon tried to laugh it off. “I had to go back to my group real quick that time, sorry about that, I guess we’re even now. Are you rapping with her again?” There. Smooth. Evasive. Totally not suspicious.

“Oh no, I debuted in a boy group last year! It’s called MBX, you haven’t heard of us?” the guy asked.

“I’ve been out of the loop for a while,” Seunghoon admitted. “Really? You’re an idol now?” Last time he’d seen the guy he’d looked like some kind of rap underground reject. This was definitely an upgrade. “You’re officially a hoobae then! I’m Kim Seunghoon from Aeon, I don’t think I ever actually introduced myself.”

“Rap Storm- actualy, I’m Kim Namhoon,” the guy corrected himself. “So you’re in that group with Woosu, right?” Namhoon asked. “Even we watched some of that drama when we had the time. Good .”

“Yup, that’s us,” Seunghoon confirmed. “He’s a but he’s our .”

Namhoon laughed. “You don’t want to know the amount of s that are in my group, it’s all I can do to prevent half of them from causing some group-shattering scandal about every day.”

Seunghoon laughed. “Don’t even get me started on half of mine, too. One of them is an actual 15 year old. Wait, no, he just turned 16 two weeks ago.”

“Hey, don’t go thinking you’re special, we’ve got ourselves a recent 16 year old too, and let me tell you, he’s the worst,” Namhoon said. “He keeps threatening to feed people to the natives of his island and I’m scared he’s going to say it to one of the fans someday. And that’s not even talking about Hankyung who keeps trying to take his shirt off and body roll and I swear I could hear him compliment the stylist’s s last week.”

“And that’s not even talking about our leader who acts less mature than the maknae,” Seunghoon said. “And that’s supposed to be the one that leads us! He can’t even lead himself!”

“I have a feeling you and I are going to get along very well,” Namhoon said, patting Seunghoon’s shoulder lightly. It was a friendly gesture, he knew that logically, but Seunghoon still tensed up and took a step back. Namhoon frowned. “Sorry?”

“Oh, eh, my shoulder’s all bruised up from dance practice,” Seunghoon quickly lied. He was getting good at this lying business.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!” the guy burst out, all concerned. It was sweet and made him feel a little bad about lying, though not bad enough not to do it.

“No harm done,” Seunghoon said. “It’s cool. Have you seen Eunha noona around?”

“I have! I just said hi to her myself. She’s a little further away, just keep going down the hall until you’re at the end. There’s a smoke machine malfunctioning in the room opposite hers so you can’t miss it.”

Seunghoon smiled. “Of course there is. Thanks, see you around, hoobae.”

Namhoon grinned. “See you around, sunbae. Come around the MBX waiting room sometime if you want to learn what true chaos looks like.”

“I’ll make sure to do just that!” Huh, he did suppose he just made another potential idol friend. Seokmin would be proud. Well, if he could use them Seokmin would be proud.. He made his way down the hall all the way until the crowd of people slowly thinned and he was the only one left in the hallway. Why did they always stuff her in the most remote corners? He was super offended on her behalf.

And there it was. A sliver of smoke coming from one of the doors. As instructed, Seunghoon knocked on the door opposite and a melodic “come in!” beckoned him. Eunha was sitting with her back to him. She turned around slowly, black wide-brimmed hat pulled low over her face. “I knew we would meet today,” she said solemnly.

Seunghoon snorted. “Did you turn your back just so you could turn around ominously?”

“Maybe”

“I think you might rival Chanhee for most dramatic person in the universe.”

“Ah, the new superstar!” she smiled. “I watched much of that drama. Very enjoyable. Very worth its hype. That hype you’re riding right now like your life depends on it.”

“Isn’t it?” He sat down on the sofa next to her. “I’ve missed you, noona. Your manager not here again?”

“He’s around,” she said. “He doesn’t care much for me so he’s always leaving me to make calls elsewhere. Or so he says. I’ve already wished plague onto him, an uncomfortable rash in a public place that just won’t go away. I’m waiting for it to go into effect.”

“Remind me never to cross you, noona.”

“You already have.” She crossed her arm as the hat cast an ominous shadow across her face. “Why haven’t I heard anything from you for over a year, Kim Seunghoon?”

Seunghoon found himself sweating a little. “I didn’t have your number, I had no way of contacting you!”

“You had my email,” she reminded him. , he’d totally forgotten that he’d had her email! He’d honestly mostly forgotten about her.

“I… didn’t think about that,” he admitted. “I’m sorry!”

“You had better be.” For a moment he felt a rash coming up, then  she smiled and loosened up. “It’s good to see you. I was expecting you to never return. It’s nice to be proven wrong every now and then.”

Seunghoon smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“No,” she said. “I suppose you’re not. Tell me about your year and I’ll tell you about mine.”

He spent quite some time just chatting with her, it was so easy to talk to her. He told her about (a heavily censored version of) his year, she told him about the sparse opportunities her label was giving her for music. He talked about Chanhee and the fame thing, she made cryptic comments that came way too close to home. Before he knew it an hour and a half had passes and her manager returned and kicked him out after kicking up a fuss about an unchaperoned boy in her waiting room. Seunghoon waved her goodbye, she smiled some knowing smile or other, and he was back in the labyrinthine hallways trying to make his way back.

He was surprised that everything was still standing when he returned to the waiting room. Minjun was standing outside the door, admiring the sign with their name on it. “Hang on,” he said to Seokmin who was standing outside, probably after taking some sort of important phone call or other. Minjun grabbed his phone and turned to the manager. “Hyung, take a photo of me and the Aeon sign for twitter and instagram!” Seokmin reluctantly agreed.

Seunghoon took a step back and watched. Minjun made a dumb face while flashing twin V-signs around the paper sign. “You can’t upload a photo looking like that!” Seokmin protested, lowering the phone.

“That one’s for my friends,” Minjun said. “We’ll take the one for the fans after.” He did the dumb face again and Seokmin reluctantly took a photo. Then Minjun smiled sweetly for a second photo and grabbed his phone back. “Thanks, hyung!”

Seunghoon was pretty sure he saw Minjun upload the dumb picture to his instagram. Ah well. Not his problem. Inside things were much as they had been when he’d left them. “Hoonie!” Chanhee said from the balcony. “Come see this!”

Seunghoon joined Chanhee on the balcony. Chanhee pointed at the stadium. “Look! They’re letting the audience in!”

True enough Seunghoon could see the small dots that were people filling into the stadium. It had seemed so impossible that all of those seats would be filled but here they were. The stadium was truly huge. With the fans came the banners too, he could see the ones on the front rows of their sections unfurl banners or lit-up boards with the names of the group they stanned. He wondered how they organized it, was that a fanclub thing to do? Man those were no joke. He saw the usual: SHINee, Beast, SNSD. There were some rookies even, a small banner for BTOB, one of the fancy big light up ones for MBX. “Look,” he point at a small section on the very top right where some fans were attached a printed banner with ‘AEON’ on it.

Chanhee grinned. “They’re here for us.”

“It’s still crazy that they’re here for us.” He could still remember standing on stage at a music show where every person in the audience was just waiting for them to be done so they could root for their faves. Now they were here, at Dream Concert, and they had their own section of fans. Waiting for them. He'd be lying if he said he didn't have butterflies.

“We had better give them a show they’ll never forget then,” Chanhee said. “Make it worth their while.”

Seunghoon smiled. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

for those curious: eternity dream concert perf, and the chaser dream concert perf (pretend sungjong and l are the same person, and minjun takes over hoya's parts from joowon (rip))

mbx and their craziness is from the fic 365.

Happy holidays!!