CHAPTER 16
⤫ AEON : END OF AN ERAChapter 16
Every night same building. Same roof. Same sky. Same void. Same dumb plants. Same booze- no, wait. Jinyoung squinted at the label of the bottle he was holding. Gin. Different booze! Where had he found this bottle? He didn’t remember buying gin. Ah well. He took another drink.
He hadn’t thought a single in…. 30 seconds? He must be losing his touch. That was worth another drink if anything. He put the bottle to his lips and drank again.
Heh gin. Like Jin. He should have an audience for this , honestly.
Wait, he could totally have an audience for this.
He grabbed his phone and opened kakao talk.
i’m drinking gin.<
like gin <
no <.
like jin <
jin gin <
get it? <
He bit his hand. He felt nothing. Hah. Well wasn’t that just characteristic?
His was getting kind of cold sitting on the floor of the roof. Weird that he could feel that. Cold . Hehehehe that was him too. Cold . At least the gin warmed his chest. When in doubt do as the Russians did right? He took another drink.
His phone did the little message beep and he almost dropped his phone fumbling to unlock the screen again.
> off
She never did have a sense of humour.
i’m funny <
> You’re drunk is what you are.
Youre not? <
That’s the problem <
Youre nicer when you’re drnk. <
> You’re an either way. Go pester someone else.
Ugh, he’d forgotten how much of a killjoy she was. .
You could cme get drunk with me <
You can haev all the jin yuo want (;;;; <
He giggled. See he was totally funny she was just being a . She was just being Hana. He took another swig from the bottle.
> Are you a crazy stalker fan who stole Jinyoung’s phone and is planning to kill me?
No <
im jin <
> Then no
fine <.
go die in a hole <
> you too, Jin
He blew a raspberry at his phone and tossed it aside. It made a satisfying crunch in the weird gravel that was there for some reason. To make it look nice he guessed. It was always to make things look nice. He looked nice. Very nice. Looked. Nice. Yes.
hey haan <
hnaa <
hana <
> what
rmember that time we were sk drunk on te old roof <
the old plce <
the one tht had the lght that looked like a sptolight <
and yu went under the ligt to sing <
but it was trreble cause youre cant sing <
youre <
He waited for a response but nothing came so he just continued.
nd then youre fell off the bench out of the light just wneh the neighbor came to yell at ks <
he nly saw me <
and thught it aws me <
> he threw a garbage bag at you
he ddi!!1!11! <
but it hit you instaed nd you yelped <
> He was so startled he ran right back inside without giving us any more
> Pretty sure he thought the roof was haunted ever sense
yeh <
that was better <
i lieked thst bettr <
than this <
> Yeah
> Me too
this <
He tried to take another swig but the bottle was empty. He couldn’t remember if he’d opened the bottle tonight or if it had already been opened.
Oops.
It was empty now.
It took a long while for her to reply and he just leaned his face against the glass of the roof’s railing, looking out at the night sky. The void. No stars in Seoul. Except for all of the stars in Seoul. He was a star in Seoul.
He threw the bottle across the roof and heard it break with a satisfying crash.
theres no moer gin <
Still nothing. Like him. Still nothing. Never nothing. Oh well.
The phone pinged.
> Go to sleep, Jin
He stared at it for a good minute.
Yeah.
He was getting sleepy.
He put his phone back into his pocket and hoisted himself up be the railing. The world swam a little, it wasn’t standing still. Hehehe. Standing Still. No. No forget. He had to forget.
The world never stood still. That was the problem. It was always shifting underneath him and he could never walk straight. He held out his arms as he walked across the roof but the world swim.
Ah .
He vomited the contents of his stomach into one of the dumb plants.
.
His s were back!
Oh no there was more. He vomited more, heaving up more and more gross, clinging to the fancy wooden plant pot for support. Agh he hated vomiting.
Okay.
Okay.
He was probably in the clear now.
Wait, what had he just been thinking about?
What time was it anyway?
Who cared.
He clung to the railing of the stairs as he slowly and unsteadily made his way down them.
Right! That’s what he had been thinking about! Metaphors for his miserable life! The world was unsteady. It kept shifting when he didn’t notice and then he’d vomit up the alcohol again or he’d fall on his feet but nobody would help him. They were all too busy walking on their own tightropes to risk helping him.
Because they were selfish bastards.
Or something.
He wasn’t quite sure where this whole thing was going.
His life .
There.
Moral achieved.
He opened the door and slammed it shut. Probably shouldn’t have done that. Ah well.
He all but fell into his bed, he did not have the energy to change or anything. He’d toss this in the laundry in the morning. There was probably vomit on his shirt. Gross.
Too tired to care.
Was he that drunk or did his bed just turn into a waterbed?
He supposed he’d find out in the morning
“What do you think of this?” Seunghoon played the instrumental demo Doha had made a week ago. It really was a gorgeous work, nearly completely synth based with a rhythm of urgency and a drum line to ground it. It was almost unsettling, and Seunghoon was very ready to use that to his advantage.
He sung the topline in absolute gibberish, all that mattered was how the melody played with the
Doha closed his eyes and nodded his head to the beat as he listened along. “Look at you toplining something all on your own! I’m proud of you, little padawan. It’s a little dreamy but it retain the urgency built into the instrumentals. I was a little worried, this instrumental was a bit of a baby to me, but you’re doing cool things with it. I approve.”
Seunghoon beamed at the compliments. “Thank you! The instrumentals are just stunning. I just don’t really know where I want the bridge and the end to go.”
“I can help you with it next week if you like. Have you thought of what lyrics you want to have?”
Seunghoon nodded. “I have! Well, for the chorus at least. I thought I’d do something like-” he cleared his throat and grabbed his notebook. “Everything that I gave you wasn’t meant for you, but you ended up using it anyway. Everything that was directed at you wasn’t love, it was only because I wanted to believe that it was, that everything was achievable.”
Doha paused and grinned. “This is a love story you might not want to let Helix hear.”
Seunghoon snorted, so he’d caught onto that, had he? “Or maybe that just means I definitely should. What are they going to do? Fire me?”
“How’s that group member of yours doing with his drama anyway?” Doha asked. “Think that’s going to help your predicament?”
“I don’t think so,” he said. “I mean Chanhee says that it was kind of a reject drama, plus it’s on cable, so it’s probably not gonna get much press. We’ve lost two members too, it’s unlikely Helix will take the chance to reboot us.”
“Have you ever considered going into songwriting?” Doha asked. “You've got a knack for it, you might be able to get into a decent university to learn.”
“I don't know,” Seunghoon answered. “I'm doing okay working at the supermarket honestly.” He shrugged. “Besides, I never did finish high school. They wouldn’t want my sorry in their fancy universities.”
“Give it some thought,” Doha said. “You could take the exams, you’re old enough. Lack of education doesn’t have to stop you if you study hard enough. Just because this whole idol group of yours is dead doesn't mean you have to be through with music. You've got promise, and I, for one, like working together with you. You could be doing this professionally. It doesn't have astronomic pay but it's a fun life style and the satisfaction that some other group's hit songs are yours. Think about it! You have have a poet and musician's soul Kim Seunghoon, consider it.”
“Hmmm. That does sound better than working at the supermarket my whole life.” Seunghoon conceded. Maybe he should think about it. It did sound like a promising direction, if he managed to get into anywhere.
“And that’s all the office hours I can stomach today.” Doha got up, grabbed his guitar, and put it in its trusty case. “Do you want to go grab some food? I’m feeling a greasy burger or something. The kind that would give a doctor a heart attack.”
“Because he ate it or because he saw it?”
“Hmm, I’ll have to think about that one.”
Seunghoon laughed. Doha was… odd. “I’m sorry I can’t, I have to get to work.” He glanced at the clock. “At this point I’ll probably be late, oops.”
“I hope I didn’t hold you up!” Doha said.
“It’s alright, Inho can hold the fort for a while and he’ll probably cover for me.” That’s what work bros were for after all, plus he still owed Seunghoon for that time that jerk of a friend of Inho’s had dragged him out an hour before closing time to go to some rap thing or other. “We still on for a session next week?”
“Yeah I should be able to drop in,” Doha said.
“Have they noticed you stopped being in intern yet?”
“Nope,” Doha said with a laugh. “Nobody’s questioned my being here.”
“Hey, do you want to come watch the premiere of Chanhee’s drama too? The group’s getting together with some friends to watch it. You’re welcome to join.”
Doha’s face lit up at the invitation. “I’d love to.”
“Alright, see you then!” Seunghoon slipped out the door, then he briefly popped back in. “Oh, and the doctor died from eating the burger. Seeing it would probably just make him anticipate all of his newfound clientele.”
Doha nodded in approval. “Dark, but probably true.”
“See you next week!”
He changed into his work uniform in the company’s bathroom and then it was off to the supermarket. He quickly said bye to Seoyeon as he passed the practice room and set out into the wild streets of Seoul, hands deep in his pockets and mood sunny, though of course no Seoulite would meet his eyes, they never did. He checked the time on his phone. Oops he was definitely late now.
“Hey hyung, come in quick,” Inho said as soon as he opened the door to the supermarket. “Throw your bag in the back, nobody’s noticed you’re not here yet. I told the boss you were stocking in the back.”
“Thanks, man!” He quietly opened the room to the back, snuck past the office door, and tossed his bag with the others’. “Hey, sorry for being late,” he said when he’d successfully snuck back into the store.
“Happens to everyone,” Inho simply said. “Not much to do today anyway. Not until the after work rush comes in.” Late afternoon to midnight shifts were always like that. After seven or eight everyone who’d just got off work and wanted groceries would come in, and after that it’d just be occasional night lifer or, worse, drunk. Seunghoon didn’t mind it though, evening shifts were his favorites.
The evening unfolded without surprises.He’d stock, he’d help customers find things, he’d clean up in the isles, he’d help Myunghwa at the counter if she needed it, and when it was quiet, right before closing, he’d make his way over to whatever Inho was doing and chat while pretending to work so their boss wouldn’t yell at them.
“Have you heard of that new drama coming out in two weeks?” Seunghoon asked. “It’s called Reply 1997, it sounds cool.”
He shrugged. “I don’t really watch dramas. Not enough time in the day for that bull.” Fair enough, lt nobody say that he hadn’t tried. “Did you ever listen to Baechigi’s release back in May?” Inho asked. “Now that’s good . Whole mini was solid.”
“I have not!” Seunghoon replied. “I’m not really into hip hop, honestly.”
“They’re hardly hip hop,” Inho said. “One of the few mainstream acts I actually like. You must have heard Two Guys, they play it all the time in the story.”
“Oh, Two Guys! That’s good !”
Inho laughed. “Told you!”
“You don’t listen to any mainstream music right?” If there was one thing Seunghoon knew by now it was that Kwang Inho was a giant hipster.
“Not really, I’m not into pop,” Inho said. “Mostly just hip hop. Bit of rnb. Certainly not those tween idol groups, though my little sister is in love with one of them. It’s all manufactured rubbish to me, music can’t be churned out like it’s some sort of factory. Art can’t be churned out like that.”
“Bold views,” Seunghoon noted.
“It’s true!” Inho maintained. “Look at the masters: Leessang, Zion.T, Baechigi, MC Mong. None of them brings out multiple albums like pop acts because they write their own music and rely on their own genius to propel their careers and tell their stories.”
Seunghoon smiled. “Okay, so you think that artists need to write their own music to create art?”
“Absolutely!” Inho said. “Without using your own words what really are you, as a singer or rappers? The way I see it you’re just a puppet, then. Or a parrot.”
If only he knew what pupped he was talking to. “I’ve seen you sing along to Ring Ding Dong though, don’t lie!”
Inho laughed. “It’s my sister’s fault! She loves Shinee! Their music is coming from her room basically 24/7 and it’s impossible to get some of them out of your head.”
“That’s how they get you,” Seunghoon joked. “Before you know it you’ll be a puppet too, and all you can do is go ring ding dong ring ding dong ring diggy ding diggy ding ding ding.” He did the dance for good measure before they both burst out laughing.
“Like the entertainment industry would want this mug,” Inho said with a laugh, pointing at his own rather unconventional face. “Both our mugs keep us safe from the Great Beast.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, they’re lowering their standards nowadays,” Seunghoon said with a smile.
“In that case we’ll just have to be really careful.”
Then closing time rolled around and they were finally free. “Hey hyung, you want to go get a drink somewhere?” Inho asked. “The night is young.”
He checked his phone. No messages waiting for him, nobody needed him anywhere. “Yeah sure, why not?
“Come on, it's almost on!” Hyeran turned the TV on and they all crowded around it. They'd arranged the cafe chairs into a little mini cinema in front of a medium sized flats creed tv Hyeran had brought from her own home.
The sound of the doorbell announced the last stragglers. “We're not late are we?!” Seunghoon hurried in followed by the intern. “Is it okay that I brought Doha?”
“yeah, yeah. It's starting any minute now, come on!” Chanhee called back, patting the empty chair next to him. “Sit, sit!”
Jinyoung and Youngbae were sitting in the row behind. Youngbae was busy on his phone while Jinyoung looked eagerly at the TV screen. Even Seoyeon was there, Leaning forward to talk to Chanhee, probably to make fun of him somehow. Chanhee was just glowing, Wonwoo knew him well enough to know that nothing would be getting him down now. He didn't envy Seunghoon, it was probably infuriating to live in one house with the guy right now.
He was sitting in the back at a table. He had to study for his university entrance exams and he couldn't even take an evening off. He wasn't a big fan of dramas like this anyway so he’d be fine in the back.
The bell rang again and all of them turned their heads at once to see who’d come in. “Woah, creepy,” Youngji said. “It’s like you’re all possessed by the same demon.”
“Youngji?! What are you doing here?” Wonwoo asked.
“I invited her!” Chanhee said. “The more the merrier!
“See, someone appreciates me,” Youngji said and stuck out her tongue. “Hey oppa!” he said to Chanhee and took a seat in the back row next to Seoyeon. Wonwoo just grumbled in the back. She never called him oppa that sweetly.
“Shhht!” Hyeran said loudly. “It’s starting!”
And so it was. The drama took its time setting up the key players. It started with the female lead going to a school reunion and introducing the main mystery: on that night one couple would announce their engagement. On cue four boys arrived in slow motion and Hyeran gripped Chanhee. “It’s you!”
“Looking smart, Chanhee,” Seunghoon said as the Chanhee on tv walked in wearing a stiff black suit. They all giggled when he was introduced as ‘the grumpy one’ alongside the character’s 3 other friends.
Despite the fact that he hadn’t wanted to watch at all, Wonwoo found himself drawn into the drama. Well, more accurately, he found himself drawn into watching the others react to the drama with amusement. Hyeran was the loudest, she was always talking through the drama to laugh at various things the on-screen Chanhee did or to proclaim every little thing she remembered of her own youth (even though she would have been only 7 in 1997). Seunghoon would often poke fun of Chanhee in the more ridiculous scenes which Chanhee would brush off with a grin and a cocky comment, or lean into make a joke at his friend seated next to him. Jinyoung was actually completely absorbed and gasped and laughed along, sometimes being as loud as Hyeran. Youngji just giggled a lot but Wonwoo could tell she didn’t get a lot of the true 90s things, even he didn’t really get them. Youngbae was mostly distracted by his phone, but laughed double as loud as everyone else when he did get something, and Wonwoo supposed that as the oldest one here he should understand the jokes the most.
There were giggles where on-screen Chanhee god spanked by his teacher and Chanhee said it had been one of the most awkward things he’d had to film so far.
There was a shared sense of secondhand embarrassment when the female lead went to a H.O.T concert only to dance along with the songs and burst out crying throughout. "She has good taste!" Jinyoung proclaimed proudly.
“That’s what our fans will be like!” Chanhee said with all the conviction only Chanhee could muster. “If they’re not that embarrassing then what’s even the point?!” to which Jinyoung proclaimed that hopefully someday they’d be able to fill a stadium like that.
They all laughed at the image of a ridiculous teenage girl crying when her dad tore the posters off her wall as she tries to tape them back together. “This could have been straight from my childhood!” Hyeran gushed. “All fathers of teenage girls must be the exact same!”
“Are you even really acting?” Seoyeon teased during one of the many parts where Chanhee’s character was just a surly and moody thing.
There were many jeers and whistles when Chanhee’s character had a wet dream, or the ones where he had to run around the field in only his underwear.
Those jeers were nothing compared to the amount of noise in the cafe the moment Chanhee’s character was shown in the aftermath of a circumcision, with most of the guys making empathetic pain noises while the girls were having the time of their lives.
An even those jeers were nothing compared to the ones where when on-screen Chanhee appeared half , and Seoyeon covered Youngji eyes when on-screen Chanhee kissed the female lead, only for everyone to burst out laughing when he got kicked in the shins for it. There was lots of jeering at Chanhee’s expense that evening, and Chanhee’s own laughter was the loudest.
And then it was over. Half of them were still brushing way tears of laughter when the ending song played. “That was amazing, hyung!” Jinyoung said. “This drama is really good, if this doesn’t become big I don’t know what will.”
“I will never get the image of you in tighty whities out of my head. Ever.” Seoyeon said. “Please lobotomize me.”
“Did teens in the 90s really act like that?” Youngji asked.
“Normal teens in the 10s really act like that too, Youngji,” Wonwoo reminded her. She just stuck her tongue out again.
Hyeran hit a glass with a knife to get everyone’s attention. “Now taking bets on who is the husband!” she announced, standing on one of the chairs with a box. “Write down who you think it is, and whoever is right gets ten thousand won from each of the losers!”
“Each?” Jinyoung gulped.
“I’m a starving musician!” Doha protested.
“You do know trainees get paid jack , right?” Seoyeon asked.
“Better choose carefully then,” Hyeran said. “This might just become a profitable endeavor.”
“It’s probably Chanhee!” Youngji said. “He already kissed her once.”
“She kicked him in the shins though,” Hyeran pointed out. “If that’s not friendzoning I don’t know what is.”
“Like you friendzoned Chanhee?” Wonwoo could hear Seunghoon whisper. Hyeran went very red and punched him on the shoulder and but Seunghoon just laughed at her.
“They could pull a twist,” Doha offered. “Maybe it’s not even the female lead who’s getting married, it could be the other girl.”
“When have dramas ever not been predictable though?” Youngji asked, sceptical.
“That’s a very cynical attitude to have for someone so young,” Doha said. “Let life surprise you!”
“Oh I let life surprise me, just not Korean dramas.”
“I’ll vote for Chanhee because it’s Chanhee!” Youngbae proclaimed, though Wonwoo suspected it was also because he hadn’t paid much attention to the drama and probably didn’t actually know what was going on.
“I’m glad I can always count on you, hyung,” Chanhee grinned.
Hyeran started handing out bits of paper. “No more whining!” she said. “Write down your name and your guess and put it in the box! Once your vote has been submitting there’s no more take-backs.”
“What are you guessing?” Wonwoo heard Doha ask, trying to peek over Seunghoon’s shoulder to read what he was writing.
“I’m not telling you!” Seunghoon blocked his paper with a hand. “Make your own guess!”
“All this secrecy can’t be healthy,” Doha joked.
“I know you,” Seunghoon countered. “You’re just trying to scope out the competition. Shoo!”
“Can I vote, too?” Chanhee asked cheekily.
“No!” most everyone said in an angry chorus and Chanhee burst out laughing.
One by one everyone submitted their piece of paper into the hat and everyone mingled together to do some more talking before going home. Wonwoo tried to sit down and study some more but it was so much more interesting to watch the way everyone interacted with each other, it was a serious distraction.
Chanhee looked on in horror as Hyeran and Seoyeon were happily chatting by the cafe’s counter. “God, help me,” he muttered, not aware that Wonwoo was watching him.
Doha was animatedly discussing something with Younji, though Wonwoo couldn’t quite catch what. Seunghoon was sitting at the same table just looking amused from one to the other and trying to dodge the busily moving hands.
Youngbae and Jinyoung were sort of sitting next to each other but not really engaging. Jinyoung was looking out the window, visibly tense. Youngbae was grinning at his phone with that lovelorn expression he sometimes tried ineffectively to hide.
Wonwoo closed his study book and packed it up, this wasn’t going to go anywhere. He approached the table where Youngji was talking to Doha. “How do you not like Gee?!” Doha asked, completely scandalized. “Gee is the perfect distillation of an earworm so infectious it infected a whole nation. It is the epitome of what a pop songwriter should aspire to create! It is art!”
“It’s just a vapid pop song sung by admittedly very pretty girls!” Youngji argued. “Even they did not like Gee!”
“They didn’t have to like Gee!” Doha burst out. “They were the vessel to channel the song!”
“They had to sing it thousands of times, I’d probably want to shoot myself if that were me.”
“Youngji…” Wonwoo warned. She ignored him, as usual.
“Please don’t tell me you don’t like Oh! either.”
She smiled sheepishly. “Take a guess.”
Doha threw up his arms. “I cannot deal with this!”
“Come on Youngji, it’s time to go home,” Wonwoo said.
“Can’t we stay a little longer?” she whined a little.
“I have to study,” Wonwoo said. “And it’s getting late. You have school tomorrow, let’s go.”
“Let’s do this again next week!” Hyeran said cheerfully as Wonwoo and Youngji bid everyone goodbye.
Wonwoo paused. “Yeah,” he said earnestly, looking at the collection of very different people that were all gathered at the cafe. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’ll see you all again next week.”
“Me too!” Youngji piped in, and Wonwoo laughed.
“I wouldn’t dare try stopping you.”
“Stop scrunching your nose,” he stylist noona gave him a tap on the shoulder. “I have to powder that nose!”
“Sorry!” Joowon quickly apologized.
“And you’d better not scratch it either, I don’t want to redo your makeup again.”
It was a little weird how similar Gag Concert was to the whole idol experience (well, if he didn’t look too hard at the comically overdone eye makeup they put on him). Get hair done, get makeup done, put stage clothes on, and go out on stage. The only difference was he wasn’t singing, he was making people laugh, and he loved it almost as much, honestly. They’d even requested he dye his hair purple for the idol look.
Oh the irony, he played an idol even when he wasn’t anymore.
The makeup artist tapped his shoulder again. “Alright, you’re done. Go get ready for the dress rehearsal.”
He quickly got dressed into the military fatigues (another returning feature in his life) and joined the others backstage. He saw Pilbeom andSang already waiting with some of the others and he threw his arms around them. “Hyungs! Comrades! How are we all doing this fine evening? Is Team Eyecandy here yet? ”
The noobies’ main gag was a military-based one where the comedians played a squad of dumb military-types, called Team Eyesores, who were always out-done by Team Eyecandy, composed of one of last year’s class pus whatever pretty guests they had scored now. It was the idol group Beast this time. Joowon, as the prettiest and actual ex-idol, played the one who infiltrates the pretty team and acted as a spy, sometimes double spy. He had to admit, it was pretty fun.
“They should be getting ready in makeup,” Sang said. “Hopefully the rehearsals aren’t too delayed this time…”
Joowon snorted. “Do you really need an hour to demolish that pizza, hyung?”
“Hey, when you’re my age you learn to savor every bite like it’s your last.” Sang was only 4 years older than Joowon but they were constantly teasing him about being the eldest in their class.
“This is why the stylists hate you.”
The waited around (another thing Gag Concert had in common with a music show, the waiting) and chatted a bit, waiting for everyone else to run through their rehearsals.
“Hey have you guys heard of this new drama called Reply 1997?” Pilbeom asked at one point. “My mom told me about it, she’d heard of it from some of her friends I think, but it’s really good!”
“Really? What’s it about?” Joowon asked. Since gag concert was his only gig right now he actually had time to watch tv in between rehearsals. It had been so long since he’d had some time to breathe for himself it was amazing.
“Teens in the 90s. How dumb our generation was,” he said fondly. “It’s really cute, makes me remember my own childhood.”
“Who plays in it?” Sang asked. “Please say Yoo Inna, she’s stunning.”
“Some nobody idols actually. I’ve only heard of the girl before, she’s in that group that does the whole cutesy thing. You know, hush hush hush hush?” He mimed the dance in the most ridiculous manner and both of them burst out laughing.
“Ever the uncle fan, Pilbeom!” Joowon teased. The boy liked his girl groups.
“Hey, Eunji is legit, have you heard her voice?” Pilbeom maintained. “Plus she’s soooo cute! I went to a fansign once and she’s even cuter in person.”
“Idols though,” Sang complained. “Everyone knows shows with idols are terrible. No thanks.”
“Not this one, I swear! The other two are, eh, one of them is from a pretty popular group I think. My niece really likes that group, the one who dances in sync and stuff. I don’t know the other, nobody I’ve asked knows them either. Something like Hey On or K-On. Something on. He plays well though, and my mom likes how pretty he is. Won’t shut up about it.”
“Aeon?” Joowon asked, with a strange sort of hope.
“Huh, yeah, I think so! Goes by the name Woosu or something? Oh hey you were an idol right? You might know him!”
Oooh Woo Chanhee, you bastard. Joowon couldn’t keep the smile off his face. So he hadn’t given up after all! Huh. So maybe his leaving had done something good after all?
He stopped a stage hand as she was walking by. “Hey, noona, have you heard about Reply 1997? You should definitely watch it.”
“Minjun, what are you doing?”
“Hmwah?” Minjun made some form of sound through the Mars bar in his mouth.
“You’re not supposed to be eating junk food!” the other trainee said. “What if they catch you?”
Minjun grinned, mouth still full. “Mwey won”
“I have no idea what you’re even saying.”
He swallowed that delicious forbidden fruit, chocolate. “They won’t,” he repeated. He grinned wider and pointed at the little white CCTV cameras mounted throughout the JYPE training center. “I know where all the blind spots are. They can’t see a thing.” He slipped the wrapper into his pocket before stepping out where he new the cameras could see him again and waving at one. That’s what they got for being voyeuristic bastards. “Plus I already used my meal vouchers today and I was still hungry! I’m a growing boy what the .”
“Don’t swear!”
“Why? Do they have microphones in the cameras too? No, we both know that’d be too expensive.”
“How did your evaluations go?” Inshik asked, pointedly ignoring Minjun’s controversial comments like he usually did. Little weenie.
Minjun swung an arm around the guy and pulled him close. “Atrociously, my man Inshik,” he said. “An absolute and total disaster.”
Inshik rolled his eyes. “So what you’re saying is you did pretty good?”
“Oh yeah,” Minjun laughed. “Well, I kind of forgot half the lyrics. I can’t believe they make us do these monthly evaluations with English songs it’s so annoying,” he whined. “I always forget the lyrics!”
“Maybe if you’d practice more…”
Minjun gasped. “But that would mean missing the newest episode of Reply 1997 and that’s not going to happen. Speaking of, there’s two new episodes this evening, you game?” Man he’d been borderline obsessed about that drama basically since one of the other trainees had started watching it and roped them all in. None of them was really quite sure how they heard of it. Some till working at a shop here, some friend of a friend of a mom there… The drama had hardly been promoted but before long it seemed like all of Korea was watching it. Even some of the trainers at JYPE were talking about the drama the day after it aired. Everyone was wondering who the dad was going to be and which couple survived! He was rooting for Kang Joonhee but most of the others had their money on Yoon Yoonje.
“Don’t start already,” Inshik warned. “We’ve got dance class and singing class first and then we ought to practice for next month’s group evals.” Ugh, that was so much. He liked training well enough (aside from the whole not actually being an idol yet thing) but it was just so much work! Every day he had school and then he’d have more lessons and then free form practice (and you knew the trainee managers would hold them accountable if they weren’t shown practicing on the CCTV). And he wasn’t even talking about the weekly weighing yet either.
“Maybe I can shirk a bit?” Minjun said. “There are enough practice hours before next month’s evaluations, right?”
“How have you not been kicked out yet?” Inshik wondered.
Minjun shrugged. “Because I’m a wicked dancer and good rapper? And can sing a bit too? And have the charisma to rival Jun.K sunbaenim? With the visuals to rival Changmin sunbaenim?”
“You’re the worst.”
“I know.” Minjun all but skipped down the hall. It was very competitive being a trainee here, people constantly came and went, but thankfully he could count the number of times he’d felt in danger of elimination on his hand. Well, if the evaluators had not minded his liiitle slip up this morning.
“Did you hear the rumors about the new boy group?” Inshik asked. “I wonder if either of us are gonna make it into the project group.”
“I bet those bastards Jaebum and Jinyoung hyungs are already in there,” Minjun grumbled.
“I think Jinyoung hyung is nice?” Inshik offered.
Minjun rolled his eyes. “Of course he’s nice, but that doesn’t mean he’s not also a bastard.” They’d gotten that dumb duo last year that he was definitely not salty about not being a part of even if it was true that both of them had trained longer than he had. He’d still really hoped to be a part of that duo damnit.
“There’s a lot of trainees who are leaving for other companies too,” Inshik said. “First Namhoon hyung left, then Minhyuk hyung and Peniel hyung, then Jaemin hyung. Rumor has it even Yoonji noona’s leaving and she’s been here for ages. Do you ever think of trying elsewhere.”
“If I got a better deal, why not?”
Inshik looked surprised. “You wouldn’t have loyalty to the company that trained you?”
Minjun shrugged. “Nah. I mean it’s not like it’s for sure they’ll debut either of us anyway. I’m not gonna wait around with some empty sense of loyalty only to be dropped like a brick when they don’t have need of me. If someone else came up to me and asked me if I wanted to debut I’d say hell yeah. Namhoon hyung, Minhyuk hyung, and Peniel hyung have debuted by now, they saw it that way too.”
“I still don’t like that thought,” Inshik said.
“That’s why I’ll debut soon and you won’t,” Minjun said. He held the door to the dance room open for him. “After you, pipsqueak.”
“You’re as small as me!”
“Not for long I won’t be. Mark my words.”
The day was another hard one. Inshik kept fumbling the dance and they kept having to stop to let him catch up, which put Minjun in an bad mood which in turn didn’t help either. He just wanted to be at the dorms in time for the new episode but he knew every time Inshik delayed them it would cut into group practice time which in turn would cut into drama watching time. He had to stop himself from glancing at the clock every other second.
When that was done he had a short singing class and his instructor instantly scolded him for being late even though it wasn’t his fault, but he knew he couldn’t just say that and the blame would always fall on him. Damned seniority rules. Thankfully the lesson went quickly and he only got his self-esteem destroyed by the teacher to a minimal degree. Still, by the time the lesson was over it was half an hour before the episode.
He quickly grabbed his coat and bag and hurried out the door towards the trainee dorms. He could practically hear Inshik sputtering about practice or whatever but, let be real here, he’d never really been inclined to listen to anything Inshik had to say.
“I’m here!” He announced dramatically as he threw the door to the dorm open.
“Shhhhht,” the good handful of trainees shushed him. They were all already huddled around the tv. Ah, it had already started! He quickly joined them on the ground to watch. Even Yoonji was watching from the corner of her eyes from where she sat in the corner with the study books, though she was pretending hard that she wasn’t actually watching.
“Turn it up, turn it up!” Geunji said loudly, getting the same sush treatment.
They were all glued to the screen, all twenty-odd or so girls and boys, about half of the trainees around. They laughed together and gasped together as the drama wove its way through the plot points.
Minjun knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be an idol, a matter of time before he’d be on his way to the top, but he had to admit he’d miss this. Not that he had a lot of time to think it in between all the crazy twists and puppies the drama was throwing at him.
Then it was over and the trainees all drifted their own ways. Some to go back to the trainee building to practice more, some to study. Minjun just went to bed early and stared up at the ceiling. Tomorrow would be another day almost exactly like today. School, lessons, practice, sleep. Maybe studying if he could be assed. Then tomorrow the same, and the day after.
He couldn’t wait until he was an idol and all that monotony was behind him. He couldn’t wait until everything he worked for came to fruition, one way or another. Soon, he told himself. He’d get there.
Soon.
“Good afternoon mister superstar.” Seunghoon came in, still in his work clothes. “Sorry I had to fill in for Inho at work, he had some kind of rap thing with that friend of his who always loiters really annoyingly around the store.”
“It’s okay,” Chanhee said. “It’s too late for that cool new cafe, I think they’re closing in an hour, but we can grab some toast at the cafe.”
“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the celebration,” Seunghoon said.
“Don’t worry about it, you had work to do it’s fine!” Chanhee waved his concerns away. He’d wrapped up filming for Reply 1997 two days ago and the two of them were going to celebrate together. They’d planned a fancy lunch at one of the big trendy lunchroom but that wouldn’t do not. Not that he’d say no to seeing Hyeran, ever.
“How do you feel?” Seunghoon asked after he’d changed and they started their walk to the cafe. “Now that you’re an unemployed bum again?”
“Hah, weird,” Chanhee said earnestly. Drama shoots were… rough. Very rough. He’d had long shoots almost every day, even the days they weren’t even shooting his scenes. He knew it was supposed to be polite to be on-set anyway, and since he’d been a lead it was also true that they could decide to shoot one of his scenes at a moment’s notice, but it had been annoying anyway. Also because it meant spending days at a time in Busan. “I’m not used to having this kind of free time” Honestly he’d hardly been around during filming.
“So,” Seunghoon said. “Does that mean you can divulge all the secrets now?”
“Nope,” he said cheerfully. “There’s 4 more episodes to go and you’re gonna have to wait for them like everyone else.”
“I’m still sad Joonhee isn’t the one,” Seunghoon grumbled, pulling his scarf up higher against the winter chill.
Chanhee raised his eyebrows. “Aren’t you of all people supposed to be happy he’s gay and all?”
“Say that a little louder why don’t you,” Seunghoon muttered under his breath. “And no, I’d bet money on him in the bet! Screw that! Ugh, I bet it’s you and Hyeran gets all the cash.”
Oops he’d totally told Hyeran that his character was the husband as soon as he’d found out, that sly fox. He made a mental note never to bet against Hyeran, she was a dirty cheater with no shame. “That’s what you get for not being loyal, Hoonie.”
Seunghoon gasped. “So it is you, you bastard!”
Chanhee just smiled knowingly but said nothing.
“Hold up,” Seunghoon stopped next to some clothing store. “Listen.”
Chanhee listened, and what he heard brought a smile right to his face. “They’re playing our song!” The characteristic drumline of Wow was spilling out of the store’s doorway. “Do you still remember the moves?”
Seunghoon tapped his foot before launching into a very stiff and awkward rendition of the main chorus. “Man, it’s been too long.”
“We’ve been slacking, Hoonie,” Chanhee said. “If Jinyoung knew he’d probably destroy on us on the spot.”
Seunghoon laughed. “Now there’s an image.”
Someone tapped him on the shoulder and Chanhee almost instinctively punched them. There was a girl with her phone covering her face, looking shy. “E-excuse me oppa,” she said. “You’re Woosu, aren’t you?”
Chanhee blinked. “Eh- yeah. I mean yes! Yes I’m Woosu for Reply 1997 and Aeon fame, in the flash!” He could feel Seunghoon rolling his eyes behind him. Wow! This has never happened before! He’d been so busy with filming and going to and from Busan, he didn’t think he’d had the time just stroll down the Seoul streets since the drama had taken off. “Do you want an autograph?”
She nodded and held rummaged through her bag for a pen. While she was doing that, others were starting to take notice and approach. “Hi,” he waved sheepishly. Before he knew it there were a lot of people crowding around him all asking for a photo or an autograph or just some words with him. “Have you seen Seunghoon here?” he gestured at Hoonie. “He’s from Aeon tooooo-” he looked around and Seunghoon had disappeared. That .
He signed and shook hands and took photos until his fingers refused to do the V-sign, but still more people came. “Look, eh, I’m really happy you all loved the drama,” he said. “But I should really get going. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for more episodes!!”
He managed to wrestle himself out of the crowd that had been forming and all but dove around the corner and into the cafe which was already labelled ‘closed’. He didn’t know how quickly to lock the door and pull the blinds down. Seunghoon was standing at the counter chatting with Hyeran. “I can’t believe you left me, you traitor.”
Seunghoon grinned. “You looked like you everything under control.”
“I was going to promote you,” he said (because Woo Chanhee did not whine).
“Come on, we both know it wasn’t Aeon they were there for,” Seunghoon pointed out. “Isn’t this what you wanted though? Bask in it, superstar actor slash idol Woosu.”
He narrowed his eyes at Hyeran. She just laughed at him. “That was our thing!” he did not whine again. “And you’re missing the super handsome and famous before that. Super handsome and famous superstar actor slash idol Woosu or not at all.”
“Isn’t the famous bit unnecessary since there’s already superstar?” Seunghoon asked, eyebrows raised.
“Shut it.”
“Oh come here, you .” Hyeran pulled him close and gave him a peck.
Seunghoon whistled. “Get a room!”
“I’m practicing my role,” Chanhee said.
“You stopped filming.” He pointed out.
“You never know when there’ll be a sequel!”
“Alright alright you two, sit your butts down and I’ll make you some toast.” Hyeran pushed them towards one of the tables and got to work.
“So how does it really feel?” Seunghoon asked. “Getting recognized and all that?”
“Like I finally got what I worked so hard for,” Chanhee said. “And it’s time to put Aeon on the map.”
“How? We’re down two guys,” Seunghoon pointed out. “I don’t think they’d just promote us as five-” he was cut off by the ringing of his cellphone. He frowned at the screen. “It’s Seokmin hyung.”
Chanhee waited while Seunghoon was on the phone. He could see Hoon’s face fall as he started nodding very seriously.
“Chanhee is here with me,” Seunghoon said eventually. “I’ll tell him. See you tomorrow.”
Chanhee raised his eyebrows. “See you tomorrow?”
“They’re… pulling Aeon out of hiatus,” Seunghoon said. He looked distraught. Distracted. He held his phone in the palm of his hand and just looked at it.
Chanhee smiled. “Hey, that means you can stop working at that supermarket!”
“Yeah.” Seunghoon still sounded only half there.
“Hey. What’s up?”
Seunghoon looked up. “Oh. I, eh, I need to call… someone. I’m just gonna… go home and do that. And, and call my work…”
“Wait.” Chanhee held his arm to stop him from leaving. “If you don’t want to continue… well it would a lot but I’d understand it.”
“Hm?”
“I mean. If you don’t want to be an idol anymore. Because of, you know, the thing.” He figured that’s why Seunghoon looked so worried. It wasn’t like he’d missed the fact that he hiatus had done him good no matter how much Chanhee had hated it himself. “But now is the time for that.”
“Oh.” Seunghoon shook his head and smiled sadly. “I told you I don’t have the money to break that contract.”
“Piss that,” Chanhee said. “I’d help you. You know I would.”
“I know. Thank you, but no. This-” Seunghoon took a breath. “This is what I wanted.” He gave Chanhee a sad smile that rang all sorts of alarm bells. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early. Just like old times.”
“Yesh,” Chanhee said unhappily. “Just like old times.” With a ring of the doorbell, Seunghoon was out.
Hyeran approached the table with two plates of toast and looked confused at the lack of Seunghoon. “Where did he go?”
“The hiatus is over,” Chanhee said instead. “The group is getting back together.”
Hyeran set the two plates down and took the seat Seunghoon had vacated. “Oh. Is that so. You’ll be an idol again.”
“I will.”
“That’s… a good thing, right?” She asked cautiously.
Chanhee smiled a strained smile. “Yeah! Finally the hiatus is over! I’ll be around less but it means my career is finally back on track.”
“Hey, congratulations!”
“Thanks!” He grinned. “I guess we’re doing this whole circus all over again. Bring it on, Helix. Korea is ours now.”
They finished their toast while talking about the most mundane things. How her day had been (fairly quiet at the cafe), what he had done today (mostly sleep off the hangover from last night’s cast party), what she’d do this weekend (clear out and reorganize the back storage), what he’d do this weekend (going back to being an idol, apparently, though he hoped he could take the time to help her). Sweet sweet mundane things.
And then he went home, pulling the scarf a little higher over his nose, a skip in his step nevertheless. Tomorrow the whole group would be back together. Oh how he was going to remind them that he’d saved them! Finally the hiatus was over and he could get back to a career. Finally he could get back to his family.
Jinyoung had the best morning he’d had in a year. He got up early (a little earlier than he had to to avoid his father), he showered, he grabbed the lunch box his mom had made him, and he was out the door.
It was still dark when he left, it’d be dark for a long while, but he kind of liked that. The chill woke him up and got him ready for the day. Freshly fallen snow crunched under his feet and reflected the streetlights above. He did like Seoul in winter.
Most of the company building was still dark when he pushed open the door. Understandable, since it was only 7AM. There was the usual sleepy receptionist who didn’t even pay him any attention as he descended the stairs into the training basement.
Nobody would be here yet of course, they’d agreed to meet at 9, but Jinyoung didn’t mind. He liked warming up on his own and getting some practice in before the others arrived. He was used to a certain pace now and the others didn’t exactly match it.
The others. Oh he still couldn’t quite believe that they were training again! Sure, they hadn’t actually started working on a comeback yet, but they’d been practicing their older songs and dividing the lines that Joowon and Baekhyun had taken while also reconfiguring a 7 person dance into a 5 person dance, which Seokin had informed them the company would require them to figure out themselves. Wonwoo and Jinyoung had tried their best to work the formations into something that works with 5 people but it was very hard. It all looked so… empty. It was so obvious that something was missing no matter how hard they practiced. At least he got a bit more lines, that was something at least, right?
Besides, joke was on those two, joke was on everyone who’d doubted them! Here they were, and Seokmin had assured them all that a comeback was in the works, and soon they’d be able to move back into a dorm too (and wouldn’t that be nice? He liked his mom enough but even she was starting to get on his nerves). He missed Joowon a lot, especially during practices, but Joowon had made his choice. All that was left was to show him everything he’d be missing.
He opened the empty dance room and hung his coat on the designated peg. The room was freezing as usual (Helix wasn’t a big fan of non-essential central heating), but Jinyoung knew that after a warm up things would be fine. So he put on his warm up playlist and got to work.
He’d never given up. The others had, he knew, and he tried not to blame them for it, but he hadn’t. One by one they had stopped coming to practice, even Wonwoo. One by one it had been Jinyoung alone in the practice room dancing, or pouring over a Japanese textbook, or trying to learn about songwriting from tutorials on the internet. He’d never given up, he new the hiatus would be over someday and it was up to him to use this time to better himself, and he had.
And now here they were, thanks to Chanhee.
Halfway through the warm up he was interrupted by a knock on the door. It opened and a girl poked her head in. She had long black hair pulled up into a messy bun and didn’t seem to be wearing any makeup, but she was still one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. “Hello?”
Jinyoung could just gape.
She peered past him into the empty training room. “Oh, trainees start so early here.”
Jinyoung gaped more.
“I suppose I’ll have to start early too then,” she said with a smile. “Do you know where the office of the trainee manager is? I’m supposed to sign my contract today.”
Jinyoung gaped and she looked at him expectantly. , she was waiting for him to talk. “I- i- eh- it’s on the first floor.”
She frowned. “So it’s not around the actual trainee basement then, curious.”
He didn’t know what to say so he just said nothing.
“I suppose I’d better go then.” She filled the silence in herself. “Oh, before I go, I’m Min Hana, pleased to meet you.”
She waited for his reply and he stumbled over his words. “I- eh- I’m Seo Jinyoung.”
She smiled. “Bye oppa, see you around, probably!” and then she closed the door and he was alone again.
He blinked at the closed door. Had that just happened? Oh no she’d thought he was a trainee and he hadn’t even managed to correct her! Who was she and how could he make his life about her.
The door opened again and his heart skipped a beat but it was just Wonwoo. “Good morning,” he said. It was very hard to contain his disappointment at that moment.
“Morning,” he grumbled back. Wonwoo joined him for the warm up like they’d done many times before during the hiatus. Quiet and focused and… kind of boring honestly. But maybe that was good, it meant less distractions.
Man, the fans weren’t going to believe how much better he’d gotten at dancing! He’d even found something of a personal style it was awesome!
He was still feeling proud of himself when Chanhee and Seunghoon came in, and Youngbae was only 15 minutes late this time.
“What should we run through this time?” Chanhee asked. He sounded as bored of all of this as Jinyoung felt, though at least he tried to push down that feeling of restlessness. The more they practiced the better they’d be once they came back again.
Aeon back again, indeed.
They all looked to each other, waiting for someone to make a suggestion. “What about Nothing’s Over?” Chanhee suggested. “We haven’t run through that one yet.”
They all looked at each other awkwardly. It was… weird to to that one without Joowon. The hole was biggest there. “That was his song though,” Wonwoo put his thoughts into words.
“Plus it was a flop,” Jinyoung said. “It’s not like anyone will want to see it performed. They didn’t then, why should they now?”
“Nothing’s Over is our song too,” Seunghoon pointed out.
“Yeah!” Chanhee said. “Seunghoon and Jinyoung wrote the lyrics, Youngbae did his rap, Wonwoo choreographed the dance, and I was an excellent actor in that MV. We’re not going to let him take this from us.” He looked to Youngbae. “What do you think?”
“I- eh…” Youngbae sputtered. “Do you want to do it Wonwoo?”
Wonwoo shrugged. “It should be the easiest to turn into a five member dance.” He looked to Jinyoung and Jinyoung nodded back, though he still felt iffy about it all. “Alright, let’s go practice Nothing’s Over.”
They spend the afternoon running through new versions and redistributing lyrics, and Jinyoung was already exhausted by the time it was 2PM and they were taking a break. The door opened again and this time it was Seokmin who entered.
“Hey team,” he said. “I have good news, gather round”
Jinah kept coming back to the innocuous little stick on the bathroom counter with those twin pink lines staring at her as she paced in front of it.
It was mocking her as she paced and paced and paced.
.
How had this happened? They'd been careful! Well, she'd been careful.
Not careful enough, apparently.
She saw her future flash before her eyes, the future she'd thought she'd have. Goodbye successful dentist who'd be ready for children somewhere in her 30s after having sufficiently made a career. Goodbye free life of having fun in her 20s, goodbye clubbing, lounging on the couch on off days, studying for exams- , would she have to drop out of university?
And what would everyone say?! They'd call her a , a disgrace. What would her friends say? Oh no, what would her parents say? They already didn't like Bae…
Youngbae! Maybe it didn't have to be like this. Maybe his constant bumming and unemployment might actually end up being a benefit.
If he could be a stay at home dad this might not end up destroying her future…
This… this thing in her belly. This life. This baby.
What had they done?
She’d known, logically, that every relationship either ended in a breakup or marriage. She loved Bae, she really did, but right now he was essentially a child. She’d hoped she could inspire him to mature before such talk was on the table. God, now she sounded like one of those girls who thought they could fix their broken man, but instead of some emotionally constipated bad boy she had a giant baby incapable of facing responsibility.
Oh but responsibility had found both of them and was currently nestling in her uterus, nice and snug.
God she was going to be sick. Oh it wasn’t metaphorically- She lunged for the toilet bowl and heaved the contents of her stomach into the porcelain. There went the waffle breakfast Youngbae had made for her this morning.
He'd be back soon and she'd actually have to tell him. That scared her as much as looking at the stick had. Whenever he'd be back from those group practice sessions of his she'd have to tell him that their lives were going to change for good.
It didn't have to be all bad, she told herself. I wasn't like she hadn't thought about marrying Bae. They'd been dating on and off for years now and she loved him. She couldn't imagine her future with anyone else. Sure, she made fun of him for being immature all the time but she loved that about him. Where else was she going to find someone who'd instigate a pepero fight right when she was at at study breaking point? Who else never failed to make her smile no matter how stressed she was?
Everyone would still see right through a shotgun wedding she was sure, but it wouldn't be as shameful. It wasn't the life she'd wanted but maybe, just maybe, they could make this work.
She tried many things to keep her busy while she waited for Youngbae to come home. She was too distracted to focus on the TV, way too distracted to try and study. In the end she just baked, something to go through paces while her stomach was knots and her hands were shaking. She'd just put the cake in the oven when the sound of keys came from the door.
“Jinah!” Youngbae called out. He was in a good mood at least. “Jinah, I have great news!”
She pulled off her oven mitts and took a deep breath. “I have news too, Bae,” she said.
“Jinah the group is a getting back together!” Youngbae said, the biggest grin on his face. “For real this time! Chanhee's drama did so well that people are now playing our songs and and the company wants us to come back again!” he hugged her and all she felt was a brick in her stomach. “They hiatus is over for good!!”
“Bae,” she disengaged and stepped back. “I'm pregnant.”
“I'm gonna have to move back to the dorm but it shouldn't be a- wait what did you just say?”
“I'm pregnant.”
He just blinked, perplexed. “Are you sure?”
“I did two tests,” she said. “I'm sure. You're going to be a dad, Bae. And oh god I'm going to be a mom.”
“But but but… but Aeon… and.. how? What?” Her heart hurt to see the smile melt off his face like that but he had to know. He had to grow up.
“I don't know, Bae. My period was late and we must not have been as careful as I though and- and here we are.”
“Can't you- can't you do something about it?”
She took a step back. Had he really just- “Do something about it? You mean an abortion?”
“Well… yeah,” he said. “I mean I'm am idol and you're a student. We can't do this, can we?”
Wow. She hadn't thought he'd be this- that- wow. “No. God no. I'm not going to have some illegal abortions how could you even- this is our responsibility Youngbae. There is no easy way out here.”
“But then what?” his voice had grown small and vulnerable.
“You'll have to quit Aeon,” she said. “It's the only way we can make this work. We'll marry and figure it out.”
He took a step back this time, shaking his head. “N-no. I can't do that that. The others rely on me. I can't let them down. We’re just getting started again-”
Jinah let out as ugly laugh. “You can't let them down?! What about me? What about this child?”
“I have a responsibility-”
“You have a responsibility to our child, Youngbae.” Was she really having this conversation? Is this really what they were talking about right now? “Are you saying you owe them more than you owe me?”
He took another step back. “I- I can’t- they-I can’t-”
She just stared at him. She was frozen in place. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t going to do what she thought he was going to do. “Bae,” she warned.
Another step back. “I can’t be a dad,” he said. “We can’t be parents. I have- I have to be a leader to them. I was a leader to them first.”
There was a moment of silence. Jinah broke it. “Get. Out.”
“Jinah-”
“Get out of my house.” She said it with barely controlled rage.
“Jinah-”
“Just. Leave.”
“When I-”
“GET OUT!” she yelled and he almost jumped through the still open door. She slammed the door in his face, tears welling up in her eyes. No. Fury was easier.
She looked around the room. There was so much of him here. She grabbed his clothes, opened the door, and threw them out, ignoring the fact that Youngbae was still standing there, gaping. She threw the door closed in his face again and went around the apartment furiously finding every single belonging of his. A suitcase. Toiletries. The waffle iron he’d gotten her for her birthday. The beer that was still in the fridge. She threw it all outside.
He was still standing there, trying to gather the things she’d thrown at him. Looking pathetic. “Fine,” she said, fighting back her tears. “Have it your way, Youngbae. You won’t be a father. Don’t you dare show your face to me ever again. Ever.”
She slammed the door in his face for the last time.
All at once the adrenaline left her and her legs collapsed. She curled up in a ball and she sobbed.
nanowrimo means very quick updates apparently! i'm not in a mindset to make a coherent authors comment right now so i hope you appreciate this chapter!
also as disclaimer i moved reply 1997's airdates for continuity purposes.
byeeeee
cameos in this chapter: yoonji is FROM THE FIC THREE SIX FIVE, inho and inshik are from the fic do or die.
Comments