“So, what’s in the box?”

Chanhee set a cup of coffee in front of Seunghoon and glanced at the big cardboard box that had been delivered just this morning. He grinned. “A gift to a good friend.”

Seunghoon raised his eyebrows, looking entirely unconvinced, the .. “Friend, huh? Cafe girl? Are you sure about that?”

“Shhhht,” Chanhee waved him away. “She’s just a friend, and apparently I missed her birthday. So I’m making it up to her.”

“As just friends.”

“I will fight you, Kim Seunghoon.”

Seunghoon laughed. “Alright, alright! Whatever you say, change of subject. Apparently, Joowon hyung talked to Seokmin hyung again yesterday,” Seunghoon changed the subject. “About the hiatus and stuff.”

Chanhee made a face. “Right. Can’t imagine very much came out of that.”

“Why are you always on Seokmin hyung’s case?” Seunghoon asked.

“He says he’s doing everything he can to help us,” Chanhee said. “But is he really? Or are those just empty words? The way I see it there are plenty of things he could have done to help us but I don’t see him doing any of it. He told me Helix couldn’t give me any auditions, but did he offer to slip me notice anyway? Of course not. That would mean sticking his neck out the tiniest bit.” He had to grill the other acting hopefuls for any information on auditions, whenever any of them weren’t too terrified of the competition to spill (fair, since Chanhee was pretty great and definitely competition, but still). It would have all been so much easier if Seokmin had just spilled some of the opportunities right from the source, but no, of course he didn’t! It was so easy to say he was on their side without ever having to actually extend a hand, and Seunghoon just proved that it worked. Chanhee had no respect for any of it.

He looked over at Seunghoon who hadn’t replied to his obvious right and true argument, apparently because he was glued to his phone. “Earth to Hoonie.”

Seunghoon looked up. “Oh! Sorry. I was listening I promise! I guess I just get that he doesn’t want to stick his own neck out for us. I mean he has to take care of himself first, right? We all have to look out for ourselves first.”

“If that’s the way things are then he shouldn’t keep insisting that he’s on our side and doing ‘everything he can’” Chanhee inserted only the most sarcastic of air quotes. “At least be honest about how much he’s willing to do for us.” He looked over and Seunghoon was tapping away on his phone again. “Who are you talking to?”

“Oh,” Seunghoon glanced at the phone. “Eeeh, Doha. You know, the intern? He’s helping me learn more about songwriting on my days off, we’re meeting again next monday after work.”

“How’s that going?”

“Great!” Seunghoon said, and it was really good to hear that enthusiasm in his voice. Chanhee worried about the kid a lot but, honesty, the hiatus seemed to be doing him good. At least it was doing someone good. “He taught me about music structure and composition, though I’m not really good at it. I’m getting better at writing lyrics though. I’m a lot better at that. Things going well at the cafe?”

“Now that the renovations are finally complete, the cafe is really picking up. I’m just going to deliver this baby-,” he tapped the cardboard box at his side. “In a bit.”

“So, when are you going to tell me what it is?” Seunghoon asked again..

“You’ll see! I’ll bring a bottle once it’s all installed. We’re going to turn the place into the best and fanciest cafe in Mapo.”

“You’re really serious about this girl, huh?”

“I- you- shut it-” Chanhee stammered. “I have to do something with my time now were stuck doing nothing.”

“And co-opting someone else’s cafe is the best answer?” Seunghoon took a sip from his coffee, looking pointed at him over the rim of the mug.

“I’m not co-opting anything,” Chanhee argued. “Just helping with her ideas! Well, except for this thing, this is my idea. But it’s fine!”

“If you say so.” Seunghoon finished his coffee. “I’m gonna shower and then head to my shift.”

“I’ll pack you some lunch.” Chanhee absentmindedly put some leftovers into a plastic container while reading a page about how the damned contraption in the box actually worked. If he was going to show up at Hyeran’s like the hero and savior that he was he had to at least figure out how it worked first.

It wasn’t long until one of the bedroom doors opened and an exhausted-looking Joowon came out. “Morning, hyung,” Chanhee said cheerfully. “Didn’t you go to bed like four hours ago?”

“Oh. Yeah. I have a shift at the gym soon. Have you seen my laptop?” Joowon asked, dark bruises under his eyes giving him a gaunt look. “It was charging when I went to bed.”

“It’s right here,” Chanhee closed the tab shut the laptop. “Sorry I accidentally left my own at the cafe and you were asleep. Figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Joowon frowned. “No, I need it. Did you leave it to charge?”

“It was charged when I grabbed it. I took it off, you know there are no free plugs in the kitchen and this stew wasn’t going to make itself.” Chanhee lazily pointed at the pot. “Do you want some for lunch? I can make you a lunch box too. My children off to their adult jobs.” He brushed away a nonexistent tear. “Leaving momma Chanhee behind all by his lonesome.”

“How is the charge? There aren’t any good plugs at the gym and I wanted to continue the Japanese course.” Joowon sounded more annoyed than Chanhee thought he had a right to for such a small thing but he’d learned the hard way to let things go when Joowon looked like a zombie, he got… snappy.

“You realize human beings require sleep to function, right?” Chanhee asked instead, not for the first time.

“Just a badly planned set of shifts,” Joowon brushed him off. “I forgot to tell the gym that I had a night shift at the library yesterday.”

Chanhee raised his eyebrows. “Like the three times it happened last week? Or the 20 times it must have happened over the course of last month?”

“I won’t be home tonight,” Joowon said, obviously redirecting. He was so infuriating lately. “I’m going over to my parents’.”

Chanhee shrugged. “I won’t be in either, I told you that  yesterday.” Five words he’d told Joowon a lot. I’d told you that yesterday, the other day, last week.

“Oh. Sorry. I forgot.” Of course he had. Joowon would have to get his head out of his own to remember such things.

Chanhee sighed. He didn’t feel like fighting today. “How’s your mom doing?”

“She’s recovering. Still can’t do most things by herself so me and my sister go over to help do the cleaning and things.” Joowon’s mother had needed some kind of knee surgery, Chanhee wasn’t entirely sure of the details, forcing him out even more often than usual. He’d remembered that. Not that he was salty about it. Not at all.

“Hey are you gonna be around tomorrow for group dinner?” They still tried to keep thursday group dinners going, though more and more often there were gaps at the table. Joowon had missed a handful of them already.

Joowon frowned. “Oh . I forgot. I- eh. I’ll try to cancel the experiment. Sorry I totally forgot about thursday group dinners.”

Right. Totally forgot. Again. “It’s okay if you have to miss it.”

“No. No. I want to be there,” Joowon assured him. “It’s group dinners! They’re important.”

“Alright. Don’t forget to pay your contribution to this month’s groceries, okay?” Chanhee reminded him.

“Can I pay you next week? That’s when I get my paychecks.”

“Sure.” Chanhee hoped he’d actually see that money, though he didn’t have the heart to press him more. Joowon had missed last month too but Chanhee wasn’t sure if he’d just forgotten of wasn’t able. Chanhee’s parents were only sliding him so much money, at this point he was covering for Joowon with tip money from the cafe. He knew they’d send him more money if he asked but he really did not want to. “Just don’t forget, okay?”

“Okay.”

Chanhee sighed. There was a time when Joowon would’ve jumped at that opportunity for a quip. Now it was just ‘Okay’. Channee couldn’t wait for this blasted hiatus to be over and things to get back to the way they were. “I’m off then, see you tomorrow!” He grabbed the box and set off into fresh spring air, feeling a little guilty to be glad to not have to deal with Joowon anymore for a day.

It was a heavy and big and unwieldy thing, the box, but Chanhee kept a spring in his step. Hah, Helix should be proud that he was practicing his lifting, he’d criminally neglected his gym time. Gym time that was no longer booked for them, of course. They wouldn’t want to cost the company any money. Even Helix shade wasn’t dampening his mood. Chanhee cheerfully whistled Wow as he took the thirty minute walk to the cafe.

There it was, as it always was. That beautiful, beautiful constant, now with a fresh of paint and a shiny new sign. The cafe.

He pushed the doors to the cafe open, careful not to lose grip on the box. “Hello!!” he called out cheerfully. “Did you miss me?”

“Only like one misses a rock stuck in their shoe,” Hyeran returned equally cheerfully. “What are you carrying?”

Chanhee deposited the box on the counter. “This, here, is a Dutch Press. It’s a cold brew machine!” He carefully took the contraption out of the box. It was an odd-looking thing, looking more like it belonged in a chemistry lab than in a cafe.. Four ornately carved spires held three connected beakers in place that would very slowly drip the coffee down into an equally fancy receiving beaker at the bottom.

“This is it?”

“That is it!”

Hyeran whistled. “It looks so fancy! Are you sure this is a coffee maker?. Do there have to be so many beakers and things?”

“The coffee filters in the top part and drips into the bottom container,” Chanhee parroted what he’d read online half an hour ago. “It takes like 12 hours but then you’ve got yourself a great glass of Dutch Coffee.”

“So how do we even sell it if it takes that long?” Hyeran looked sceptical, circling the strange contraption. He was surprised she hadn’t heard of it yet, it was becoming a big trend lately in the fancier parts of the city, with dedicated Dutch Coffee shops popping up everywhere (he thought that was funny considering how they were anything but actual Dutch coffee shops, but when he’d actually made that joke one time the barista had just given him a blank look. Amateur.), but he’d noticed there was a lack of them around Mapo. Hello, investment opportunity!

“Easy, we bottle it! It’s cold so it keeps for days. It’s best when it’s been cooled for a couple of days, I think.”

She still looked sceptical and Chanhee was starting to feel mildly offended. Didn’t she trust him? “How much did this contraption cost you?”

“Nothing at all,” he said with a smile. Truth was: quite a bit, but he didn’t mind. Money had never really been an issue for him, he’d just borrowed some more from his parents than usual. It was for a good cause. “It’s for your birthday.”

“My birthday was week ago.”

“For your birthday with interest!”

Hyeran raised her eyebrows. “If you’re trying to buy my friendship, it won’t work. You’re still a .”

Chanhee just grinned. “Only the best for you, my lady.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst. I dont’t suppose you’ll let me reject the offer?”

“Nope.”

Hyeran sighed, but he saw the way the hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. He saw in her eyes that she liked it. Point of Chanhee! “Go figure out how your weird press works, I’ve got to prep the cakes and coffee machine for the day.”

Chanhee saluted, this time the correct way, like Joowon had showed him. “Yes, ma’am!”

Then 9AM rolled around the cafe opened and people started coming in for their daily coffees. Chanhee kept an eye out while he wrestled with the Dutch press. It was amazing how the cafe had grown once Hyeran had started her Plan. She had changed almost everything in a big step of re-branding, commissioning logos and graphic design for the whole store, restoring and repainting the store front, and placed signage on the main street pointing the way to the cafe’s tiny little nook, and it had worked like a charm! It still wasn’t the busiest cafe Chanhee had ever seen, but it had a steady clientele now and the monthly bankruptcy scares were long past. He had been so wrong when he’d estimated her as an unambitious plodder, Hyeran had a vision, and it was beautiful to behold.

“Chanhee, put the toast in!” Hyeran called over her shoulder, and Chanhee obeyed.

“One or two trays?”

“Two, just in case!”

“Only I get to have one!”

She laughed. “I pay you in unlimited toast, remember? And you get to keep the tips.”

With little else to do, Chanhee had found himself spending more and more time in the cafe over the hiatus, and at one point Hyeran had said that if he wanted to loiter around all the time and take up her time then he might as well make himself useful. It had started with helping with the renovations and redecorations (he’d done more physical labor this year than he had ever done in his life!), and when that was done it was a refill here, a coffee there, until he was essentially a second barista.

“You know you’d be selling much more if I was the one taking orders,” Chanhee said, leaning against the counter with his tiest grin on while the toast was crisping. “Look and learn,” he turned to the lady at the counter who was watching the exchange with amusement. “Hello my lady, can I take your order?”

“One  americano, please,” she said with a smile.

“If you get a honey toast as well you’ll get a complimentary compliment,” he offered with his most charming smile. He could feel Hyeran rolling her eyes behind him.

The woman giggled. “How could I say no to that? A toast as well, then.”

Chanhee turned around and grinned at Hyeran in triumph, mouthing a  “see?!”. She just made a face of annoyance at him and he laughed. When the toast was done he handed the lady her order to-go. “We’ll have to  play more SHINee here if you keep visiting,” he said. “Because noona you are so beautiful.”

The lady laughed. “Oh you are shameless,” she said. “I like it. Thank you!”

“You should really be paying me,” Chanhee said. “I’d make you so much money. Consider that a trial run awaiting full investment.”

“Shameless sounds about right,” Hyeran said with good cheer, set a plate down at. “Sit your down and eat your toast.”

“Yes, coffee ahjumma.” He grinned at her affront. “Oops Hyeran, I mistook you for your mother for a second.”

“I can kick you and your ridiculously fancy coffee machine out any second!” she threatened. Chanhee just smiled his most charming smile before she got distracted by another customer (and he by the heavenly taste of good old fashioned honey toast, which he actually knew how to make himself now!).

He probably shouldn’t be spending so much time here, but Chanhee would die before admitting that he honestly just had nowhere better to be. He’d tried keeping up with practices at first, like he should, but there was always Jinyoung or the girl trainees who were taking over the room, and Jinyoung was really giving him the creeps lately. He had this crazy look in his eyes and pushed himself way too hard. Chanhee liked chill practices, not whatever self-flagellation Jinyoung was into nowadays.

As for auditions, well, those were getting harder and harder to come by and hardly anyone actually asked him to come after submitting his headshot and rather pathetic resume. With no company actually backing him there was little incentive, he supposed. But he had to keep trying, even if it felt useless sometimes. He was Woo Chanhee the Handsome god dammit, he was not Boo Chanhee the Quitter.

The cafe was busy that day and he was pulled away to help Hyeran prepare many a coffees and many a toasts, all the while continuously checking on the Dutch coffee machine to see if it still wasn’t spontaneously combusting (it wasn’t! They got to live another day!). At one point he found himself whistling more as he set coffee cups on the count, tinkered with foreign-look machines producing heavenly ichor, and cleaned plates. He almost missed his window, at one point when he looked at his watch it was 3:24PM, next time it was 5:59. “Crap, I gotta run!”

“What about the coffee machine? Aren’t we going to to try some?”

Chanhee glanced from the coffee machine to Hyeran. “Agh. We should! Hang on, let me text my mom and tell her I’ll be late.” This was much more important than some routine dinner with his mom, he had to taste the fruits of his labor (and money)!

There was a nice full container of dark dark coffee waiting for them at the bottom of the machine. The colour was a rich orangey brown, richer and lighter than an espresso or americano usually was. He grabbed two glasses and poured it in, then handed one of them to Hyeran. She looked at it like it might be poison. “You first,” she said.

“Making me take the fall, huh?” He gave it a whiff. It smelled really good, kind of fruity, like the bean packet had told him it would. He’d tasted Dutch coffee before, of course. He’d found out through his mom who had a taste for it and he’d tried a few types before he bought the machine. The real question was, would this taste like it was supposed to or was he going to be poisoning himself, thus ridding the world of its best and most promising inhabitant? Time would tell.

He raised the glass and took a sip.

He was the bravest man on earth.

The rich fruity taste wrapped itself around his taste buds and he remembered, all at once, why he and many other Koreans loved Dutch coffee. He had once thought Americano was as good as coffee got but boy had he been wrong. “It’s terrible,” he said. “But salvageable, I think. Give it a try, see what you think!”

He watched her take a careful and doubtful sip before her face transformed with an expression of awe and wonder. She looked at him with widened eyes which had just been enlightened and initiated into the cult of one of the most criminally kept secrets of the Earth. The true best way to make a cup of coffee. Man those Dutch people were brilliant, they had Guus Hiddink, and the best coffee on the planet What wasn’t to love? “Why have I never tried this before?!”

“A grave error on your part,” Chanhee agreed. He grabbed his backpack and his coat. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Like I could ever get you to stay away.”

“That’s the spirit!”

He was all but skipping when he came out the cafe. He signalled a cab and gave the address to the Gangnam restaurant his mom wanted to meet him. Some fancy Japanese one he hadn’t been before. He only really went to those kinds of restaurants when his parents wanted him to. He wasn’t really dressed for such a fancy restaurant  but he didn’t much care.

The restaurant was situated in a fancy hotel with fancier folk decked out head to toe in their finest going to and from. Chanhee thought it was all a little ostentatious, but who was he? A judgy waiter looked him up and down with disapproval before showing him to the room where his mother was already seated. Chanhee could see why she like this place, now. Each diner had their own private little tatami room, she did so like her privacy.

“Ah, there you are, Chanhee.” She rose to meet him and he gave her a kiss on the cheek and sat down at the low table.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, trying to keep the sarcasm from creeping in. He only really saw his parents during the holidays, and he’d managed to avoid it last time. Instead he’d spent new year with Seunghoon, who’d had to work until late and hadn’t been able to go home either. As soon as he sat down the waiter set platters of sushi and teppan yaki on the table. She’d ordered for them both already. God, he hated it when she did that.

“Since your father and I were abroad for new year I thought it would be nice to spend some time together now, late as it is,” she explained, though Chanhee doubted that was the truth of it. He’d missed plenty of holidays before, he made it a sport to find excuses not to go, and they’d never suggested a replacement dinner. But she’d really wanted to meet and he hadn’t been able to find an excuse not to. “How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know,” Chanhee said, there was no stopping the creeping bitterness this time. “Auditioning for roles.  Waiting for the company to get off their and do something. The usual.” He felt so stagnant and it tugged at every corner of him.

She set down her chopsticks. “Chanhee,” she started. He didn’t really like the sound of that. “I wanted to talk to you about your future.”

Oh boy. At least he’d been right about the ulterior motive. He so did not want to talk about this right now. “What of it?” he asked, a little more confrontational than intended.

“We know your current… stagnation has been troubling you.” Chanhee felt like snorting at her carefully considered wording. That was the attorney talking, not the mother. Then again, when had the mother ever really bubbled up beyond the attorney? “I have talked it over with your father and we both agree that money isn’t an issue here. We could pay off your contract fees and you could go study. Maybe in Hong Kong? Or America?”

He sighed. They didn’t understand. Of course they didn’t understand. “I can’t just leave the group,” he explained, trying his best not to sound too impatient. It’s not like he expected them to understand to begin with. “I’m a part of something.”

She frowned. “But it’s not going anywhere. Surely it’s better for everyone involved if you just go your separate ways? You’re already 21, Chanhee, you don’t want to waste more time, do you?”

Chanhee clenched and unclenched his fist. “I’m not wasting my time,” he said slowly. “We just need a break, that’s all, and I’ll keep doing auditions until we get that break.”

“Chanhee, dear, think rationally,” his mother said, hand absentmindedly caressing the stem of her wine glass. “Your group has been trying for two years, has it not? You’ve tried. It’s time to move on.”

Chanhee shook his head. “I’m not just going to quit when it gets hard. When have I ever quit when it got hard?”

His mother sighed. “Your father and I just want what’s best for you and your future. If you want to keep doing this, we won’t stop you, but please consider moving on. We don’t mind paying for your rent and everything, but we just don’t want to see you waste precious years of your life like this.”

He held his tongue after that. He didn’t want to say something he’d regret. He just ate the sushi begrudgingly despite the fact that it was the kind he liked. The rest of the dinner went about as awkward as it normally went. She’d ask vague questions about what he’d been up to while obviously not really interested. He’d tell her only the bare minimum and avoided talking about the cafe like the plague. He’d ask her what she and her dad were up to. She’d talk about some new project or case he wasn’t really interested in. He’d drink a little too much to pass the time, say a little too much. She’d disapprove but keep it to herself. Then she’d pay the bill and they’d both get in separate taxis. She’d go to their fancy apartment in Seongpa, he to the dingy little dorm in Mapo.

The dorm was dark when he got in, only the light in Seunghoon’s room was on, and months of cohabitation meant Chanhee knew that Seunghoon’s alone time was in effect. He just hang his coat up, grabbed the laptop his mom had returned to him, and settled in the little closet he regrettably still called his room.

Time to search for more auditions. He’d find his break someday.

Youngbae was honestly having a pretty good time this hiatus. He was sleeping in an actual bed, a single ray of sunshine fell onto his face, and when he turned his face there was the sweet sleeping figure of Jinah next to him. Life hadn’t been this good in, like, ever honesty. He gave her a kiss on her forehead and she muttered things he couldn’t understand.

Yup. Things were pretty damned good for him right now.

And then the alarm went and ruined this beautiful little moment. Jinah grunted more and turned it off. Right, today was thursday and she had her 9AM class. Youngbae pretty much knew her entire schedule by now. “Morning,” he said when she got up and stretched.

“Morning,” she smiled back at him, head framed by the sunshine filtering in through the window. It gave her a halo she more than deserved.

Man he couldn’t believe he was waking up next to her most of his mornings. How did he get so lucky?

She got up and went on to shower and do her morning thing as she usually did while Youngbae lounged in bed. He didn’t really have anywhere to go. Never did. With no job or anything there wasn’t really anywhere for him to go.

Steam entered the room when she was done with her shower. She went straight for the closet, body still wrapped in a towel. “Are you going to eat with the guys tonight?” she asked.

Man she looked so good even just wrapped in a towel. Was it just him or was some steam still rolling off her her? He was so lucky it was crazy.

“Bae?”

“Huh? What?”

“Are you going to eat with the guys tonight?” she repeated the question.

“Oh.” Right, it was thursday! Aeon day! “Yeah, I think! Should be. So I guess I’ll stay over there again tonight.” Aw, that meant one morning not waking up next to her.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” She dropped her hunt through the wardrobe and sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

Youngbae set up to show that he was definitely totally serious. “What up?”

The towel had slipped just a little bit, showing the soft beginning of her cleavage. Shapely cleavage, too.  He’d certainly never found any cause to complain- “Bae,” Jinah said. “Focus.”

Youngbae shook his head “Right! I’m focused!”

“Move in with me.”

Youngbae frowned. “But I’m already here?”

Jinah laughed. “No, I mean actually move in with me. Permanently! I mean there’s no real reason for you to stay at that dorm of yours, you’re already here most of the time anyway. Why not make it permanent and just move in with me here? It saves you from paying rent.”

Huh. It was true that he was really on his last leg of money, even the money he’d borrowed from Jinah’s parents kind of sort of without them knowing it was for him him. Maybe it really was a good idea to just move in with her. But could he really leave the guys? He supposed it wouldn’t really be leaving, he really was at Jinah’s most of the time, usually only staying at the dorm on thursdays and fridays. He’d started to worry about how he was going to pay the rent, but if there was no rent to pay then that wouldn’t be a problem!

He nodded. “Okay. Yeah! I can do that! Let’s move in together!”

Jinah smiled and the room became just a little bit lighter.  She leaned and kissed him, just a peck. “I’m glad! You can move your things here tomorrow and then we’ll grab some celebratory takeout this weekend, how does that sound?”

Youngbae pulled her in for another kiss as answer, longer this time, until her laugh rumbled against his mouth and she pulled away. “I have to get dressed!” she objected. “Save it for this weekend, we’ll have some celebrating to do.”

Oh he could hardly wait.

She gave him one more quick kiss before she grabbed some clothes from the wardrobe and got changed (and Youngbae definitely leaned back and watched every second of it until Jinah objected to the ogling and, while laughing, threw the towel at his head).

Then, when Jinah was done putting makeup on and gathering her things, she was out the door with a quick “See you tomorrow!” and Youngbae was alone again. He briefly considered going back to sleep but he was too awake now.

Youngbae wandered around the apartment, putting some pants on and grabbing some breakfast before he dropped onto the couch and turned the tv on. He idly flipped through channels, not much interesting was on. God he was so bored. He opened Jinah’s laptop but quickly closed it again when he remembered the amount of tabs with job openings that were open and waiting for him. Not today. Back to the tv and the boring shows and nothing he was really interested in watching.

He turned it off again fifteen minutes later. He should go to the dorm! At least there when he flipped through the channels of the little TV they had scavenged he could do it while maybe Chanhee or Joowon or Seunghoon was around and he wouldn’t be alone. It was always better to be bored together!

So that’s how he found himself at the dorm by the time it was only 11, fitting his keys in the familiar lock. “Good morning!” he called out cheerfully.

“Shhht,” Chanhee shushed him. “Joowon is still sleeping. He had a night shift.”

“Oops.” Oh no now he felt bad. Things had been a little… awkward with him and Joowon lately. Ever since Joowon had gotten him that part time job at the university and he’d kind of sort of flunked it all. He’d felt really bad about it! He’d really needed that job too so he could pay Jinah back all the money she’d lent him, but it hadn’t worked out after Youngbae had kind of sort of bumped over two display cases of stationary which was probably the final straw after he’d given five students the wrong printouts and also sort of asked his boss if she was pregnant when she was really just a little chubby- safe to say that had not gone well. And crap now he was thinking about the tabs and the unfilled job applications and nooo he’d come here for the exact reason of not thinking about those tabs.

“Hey hyung,” Seunghoon said softly but cheerfully. “How are things with Jinah noona?”

Chanhee grinned. “Yeah, when are you ever going to bring her around? We’re starting to feel neglected.”

Seunghoon rolled his eyes. “We could ask the same of you, Chanhee.”

Chanhee gasped. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Youngbae laughed though he didn’t really understand what they were talking about either, but Chanhee was always so dramatic. “Maybe I’ll ask her to come over sometime for one of our dinners?”

“I’m gonna remain offended until you do,” Chanhee threatened. “Hoonie and I are going to the supermarket to get some groceries for tonight, want to come?”

Youngbae made a face. “No thanks, eh, if you don’t mind.”

Chanhee shrugged. “Suit yourself. We’ll be back in a bit.”

“See you later!” Youngbae waved and went to his room. As soon as he opened the door he saw the sleeping figure of Joowon roll over. Oops! He closed the door again quickly. He’d totally forgotten about that. Okay, so, he couldn’t go in there, so how was he going to spend his time? He supposed he could watch some tv. With Chanhee and Seunghoon gone there wasn’t really a difference between here and Jinah’s apartment except for the fact that the tv was crappier here and the new couch was smaller but he supposed he’d just wait for the others to come back and then things would be better.

He flipped through channels, feeling restless. He should go back to training again sometime, even if that meant dealing with intense Jinyoung. He was the leader, maybe he should be doing leader stuff like helping him with training and setting a good example by not slacking off. After all, it was only a matter of time before the hiatus would be over. Seokmin was going to be disappointed when he found out how much everyone had been slacking off, maybe he should be doing the whole good example thing? He should talk about that during today’s dinner when they were all here. It would be all good and leaderly. He smiled to himself. Yeah. That would be good.

About an hour into channel surfing the door to to bedroom opened and a still sleepy looking Joowon came out. “Hey Joowon!” Youngbae said cheerfully. “I thought you were sleeping off a night shift?”

“I was,” Joowon said unhappily. “Until- nevermind.” He went to the kitchen and put the coffee on. “Where are the others?”

“Chanhee and Seunghoon went to do some grocery shopping just now,” Youngbae said. “They should be back so-”

He was interrupted by the sound of keys in the door before the front door was thrown open and Chanhee and Seunghoon came in balancing a multitude of shopping bags.

Youngbae sprang up to relieve Seunghoon of one of the bags before its contents spilled all over the floor. “Thanks,” Seunghoon said.

Joowon lowered the coffee pot. “Why didn’t you go with them in the first place?” he demanded. Youngbae didn’t like his tone at all. “They obviously could have used your help, you know how many groceries a household of four needs.”

“Eeeh.” Youngbae looked from Joowon to Chanhee and Seunghoon. “I hadn’t really thought about it?” he just hadn’t really felt like going out again when he’d just gotten in. It wasn’t such a big deal, was it?

Joowon set the pot down onto the counter with force, the metallic sound of it made Youngbae flinch a little. “Of course you didn’t think. Do you ever? You could have done some cleaning too while they were out shopping for us, there are plenty of dishes that have to be done, but you didn’t think about that either did you?”

“Hyung,” Chanhee said. “It’s okay-”

“It’s not though! We live here together, he’s still a part of the household even if he’s hardly ever here. All of us work to pay the rent while he does nothing.”

“Well…” Chanhee trailed off. “Most of us.”

“Even then, you almost single handedly take care of the house and the cooking and cleaning while he does nothing at all,” Joowon said. “And I’m getting pretty damned tired of it.”

“I don’t mind doing the groceries,” Seunghoon said. “I mean I work there anyway and without me you don’t get the discount. We managed. It’s okay.”

Joowon pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is the problem, don’t defend him, he’s the grown man and the oldest one here. He can talk for himself.”

“Eeeeh.” Youngbae looked helplessly at Chanhee for help. “I didn’t think it was a big deal and, I mean, I’m not really here often and-”

“You’re here all the time just doing nothing,” Joowon countered. “When are you going to find a job? When are you going to actually help around the house? How often do I come and you’re just loafing around doing nothing?”

“I’m- sorry?”

Oh no from Joowon’s face he could tell that hadn’t been what he wanted to hear, his expression just darkened even more. “Don’t apologize, just do your part and grow up. You’re supposed to be the leader but what are you even doing? What good are you?”

“I was… I was going to set a good example,” Youngbae stumbled over his words.

Joowon opened his mouth to protest but Chanhee loudly dropped one of the plastic bags on the counter before he could say anything. “How many hours have you slept, hyung?” he asked firmly.

“Three,” Joowon said. “But that has nothing to do with things.”

“Don’t use me to fight,” Chanhee continued. “And go back to bed. Dinner isn’t for another five or six hours. Go sleep.”

“I-” Youngbae started.

“No.” Chanhee shushed him. “You, hush before you make things worse.”

“How much do I owe you for the groceries?” Youngbae asked. “I can pay now.”

“This load’s on me,” Chanhee said. “It was more expensive than usual, had to get some exotic ingredients for tonight’s meal. Don’t worry about it. We’ll collect again next week.”

“Chanhee,” Joowon protested. “We talked about this.”

“Shhht,” Chanhee quickly stopped him. “Go to bed. We’re not discussing this right now, try again in the evening.”

Joowon grumbled a little but he retreated back to the bedroom and the atmosphere cleared of bad as soon as he closed the door behind him. Youngbae let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

“Come on hyung,” Chanhee said. “Help put the groceries away at least.”

“Right!”

He helped them with putting everything away before Chanhee went on to start preparing some of the night’s meal and Seunghoon slipped out to meet his friend or other. Youngbae was alone again, sort of. With Joowon sleeping and Chanhee’s often reminders of that he couldn’t really talk with Chanhee either without bothering him in the kitchen, so Youngbae resigned himself to sitting in front of the tv and sending some messages to Baekhyun and Jinah when it got boring, but even they had things to do apparently.

He sighed. He had it so hard.

It was already almost evening when the door opened and Wonwoo came in. Youngbae was glad for the distraction, he wasn’t sure if he could handle another rerun of some historical drama that he didn’t really want to watch but kept shamefully getting drawn into anyway. “Wonwoo!”

“Shhhht!” Chanhee quickly shushed him from the kitchen.

“Hyung is asleep?” Wonwoo asked, pitching his voice soft.

“Yeah.” he’d forgotten again. He really didn’t mean to keep doing that. He pat the space next to him. “Come on, watch with me!” Okay maybe he did kind of want to keep watching but it’d be less shameful if Wonwoo watched with him, right?

“Actually, I could use some help in the kitchen,” Chanhee said. “Wonwoo, would you mind?”

Wonwoo looked from Youngbae to Chanhee. “Sorry, hyung.” He went to go help Chanhee and Youngbae was left on his own again, watching how the female lead’s character clumsily trained to become a crown princess while the impossibly handsome prince courted her, unawares of the curse the queen was putting on her.

The door opened again some hour later and Jinyoung and Baekhyun came by, lifting Youngbae’s spirits once more. No way both of them could go and help Chanhee! “Baekhyun! Jinyoung!”

“Shhhht!” came from the kitchen. Oops! Joowon. Right!

“Watch the drama with me,” he whispered, looking to Baekhyun.

“Actually, could the both of you set the table?” Chanhee intervened. “Dinner will be ready soon!”

Oh no it just felt like he was doing it on purpose. He jumped up. “I should help too!”

“Shhht.” Chanhee looked a little annoyed. “I don’t want to have you drop something again, hyung, sorry. Jinyoung and Baekhyun will do just fine.”

Jinyoung sniffed the air. “What did you make this time, hyung?”

“Lasagne! And no, not with tomato ketchup you heathens. I made some real sauce from scratch..”

“Doesn’t that have a lot of carbs?” Jinyoung wondered.

Chanhee shrugged. “Nobody’s watching that now. I’m sure we can afford a single meal with carbs, I’ve been wanting to try the recipe. There are plenty of side dishes if you don’t want to eat it.”

“My mom made some kimchi,” Baekhyun offered.

“So did mine,” Jinyoung held up his own bag.

Chanhee laughed. “Oh shoot, sorry Joowon! Ah well, we have to wake him up in,” he glanced at the timer on his phone. “7 minutes anyway. Hyung, how about you go wake him up now so he can get ready.”

Youngbae got up and knocked on the bedroom door.

“I’ve been awake for the past hour,” a voice grumbled from within. “I’ll be out soon.”

“He’s already awake!” Youngbae called back to Chanhee.

The front door opened once more and Seunghoon came in too. “Am I late?”

“Just in time,” Chanhee said. “So I don’t have to kill you after all.”

Seunghoon laughed. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“I’ll be right there,” Joowon said when he emerged from his room. “Just going to have a smoke first.”

“That’s really bad for your voice,  hyung,” Jinyoung cautioned.

“When did you start smoking?” Chanhee asked.

Joowon waved the concerns away. “A few weeks ago. Just a cigarette here and there, it’s no big deal.”

Chanhee didn’t look convinced but Joowon slipped out the door before he could say anything.

The others set the tables (Chanhee had brought a second, bigger low dinner table to add to the tiny one a few months ago and it made things so much easier) while Youngbae watched, his mouth watering and the food that was coming out. A low oven dish with layers upon layers of little yellow flappy pasta things on red sauce and meat. He didn’t think he’d ever had this pasta dish before but it looked delicious. With the dish came a variety of side dishes as usual. Kimchi, some salad, some soup.

They all crowded around the food once Joowon was back from smoking, the unpleasant smell of tobacco clinging to him. “Do you want first pickings?” Chanhee asked, offering him the serving spoon.

“It should go to the oldest,” Joowon said, nodding to Youngbae.

Youngbae didn’t have to be told twice, picking up a generous helping of the pasta dish before passing it on to Joowon.

“I’ll just take a little bit,” Jinyoung announced before his turn was even up. “Just to try. It has a lot of carbs, you see.”

“So you managed making the lasagne sheets?” Seunghoon asked. “It we didn’t have them on the store but I honestly haven’t seen any around before.”

“Taste for yourself,” Chanhee said. “Gordon Ramsay is shaking in his boots right now.”

Wonwoo frowned. “Does he make Italian food?”

“No idea, but he’s definitely shaking.”

Youngbae couldn’t really argue with that, it was really great! One of the main reasons he never skipped group dinner, honestly. Whatever Chanhee touched turned to gold.

“How are you doing, Wonwoo?” Joowon asked. “Are you still staying at your parents?”

Wonwoo squirmed a little. “Yeah. I’ve, eh, been doing a bit of practicing with Jinyoung.”

“It would go better if you showed up everyday like me,” Jinyoung protested.

Wonwoo smiled. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to be there more often to help you with Japanese, okay?”

“How about you Baekhyun? How are you doing?” Joowon continued. He usually did this all, when he was there on thursdays. Go around asking everyone what they were up to. Youngbae just kind of sort of paid attention while concentrating very hard on getting lasagne into his mouth with chopsticks.

“Oh, you know, training,” he said. “Though I’ve been helping my mom out with work as well. She’s really busy right now, so I haven’t had much time.”

“Are any of you free this weekend?” Joowon asked. “We could go somewhere again. Maybe we should go to that noodle place where we had ramyun when we were still trainees? Remember that place? Or we could grab the guitar and do another jam session?”

“I’m working,” Seunghoon said apologetically. “Sorry hyung.”

“We’re visiting my grandparents in the countryside this weekend,” Wonwoo said.

“I’m helping my mom,” Baekhyun said

“I have to practice,” Jinyoung said. “Sorry, hyung, I really can’t take a day off.”

“Jinah and I were going to celebrate moving in together,” Youngbae said. He really didn’t miss that, she was probably going to wear that nice lingerie she got last week and they could totally meet up some other time right?

Chanhee glanced at him. “It’s probably better if you get some proper sleep. Maybe next week?”

Joowon signed. “Maybe next week.”

“Hey hyung. We’re looking for new hires at the supermarket,” Seunghoon told Joowon. “The money isn’t much and it’s long and hard work but it’s always been enough for me to pay the rent and food and do some fun things on the side. I mean it’s not really giving me any savings but it’s enough, yoy know.”

“He works crazy hours now too,” Chanhee said. “The pay couldn’t be less than what that university is paying you and any hours should be better than night shifts.”

“Wouldn’t that be good then?” Seunghoon said. “I know you’re struggling with the rent and all and, I mean, the supermarket pays me enough so it should pay you enough right?”

Joowon put down his chopsticks. “I’m fine,” he said. “I’m managing, don’t worry about me.” Youngbae caught Chanhee rolling his eyes. “Besides, hyung needs that job more than I do.”

Youngbae didn’t like the way Joowon said that at all. “Eeeh,” he said. “I’m still, eh, looking for jobs. I don’t know about the supermarket though… I mean what if it goes wrong like at the university?”

Joowon sighed. “True, maybe don’t strain Hoon’s relationship with his workplace as well. But seriously, when are you going to find a job?”

Youngbae glanced from Joowon to Chanhee, looking for any way out. “I’m trying- it’s just. It’s not easy to get a job without experience or like education-” he parroted what Jinah always told him when he told her he hadn’t found anything yet.

Joowon raised his eyebrows. “I managed. Seunghoon managed. Why shouldn’t you manage? Don’t you want to be doing something with your time instead of just loitering around? Either here or with your girlfriend?”

Youngbae opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out what to say. “I’m moving out!”

“What?”

“I’m, eh, moving in with Jinah,” he said. Might as well just tell them now and rip off the bandaid right? This was a good moment? “I mean it makes sense, I wouldn’t have to pay rent here anymore and I already mostly live there anyway it won’t really change much. And I’ll still join thursday dinners of course, I’m still welcome right?”

“Of course!” Chanhee said. “Thursday dinners are for all of us. Come on, let’s clear the table, I’ve got some desert ready when we’re done.”

Youngbae glanced at Joowon, hoping he wouldn’t continue the onslaught, but Joowon just sighed gain and started clearing plates. This was good right? Now Joowon wouldn’t have to complain all the time about how he didn’t have a job and let Jinah pay his rent?

Then why didn’t it feel good?

Maybe he should just go home tonight, pack his things and spend the night at Jinah’s instead.

Yeah. That’d be better. Probably.

“How’s this?” Seunghoon asked.

Chanhee cocked his head. “Roll up the bottom of your pants. It always makes you look three times fancier. And untuck your shirt, if you’re wearing a short jacket leave the short out,” He regarded him some more. “Are you sure about that shirt though? Isn’t a plaid shirt too casual for going out?”

“I’m just going out with some work friends!” Seunghoon argued, pulled the shirt out of his pants. He wasn’t going to mention how he’d spent an hour trying to figure out what to wear in his limited closet, debating over how formal he should look. What was even the dress code for such a thing?! “You’re really not helping!”

“Hey if you want to borrow some clothes again it’s cool,” Chanhee offered. “I got this really nice fancy shirt the other day, navy with polka dots which will look really good on a nice blazer and dark pants. Super classy but with enough fun for a night out.”

Seunghoon shook his head. “N-no not this time.” That would be weird. He wasn’t quite sure why but he knew that it would be. He was sticking to his own clothes tonight.

“Suit yourself! So you’re gonna be home late tonight?” Chanhee asked.

“I might not be home at all until tomorrow,” Seunghoon said. “We’re, eh, going to Gangnam station area and one of the guys, eh, Inho, he lives in that area so we’re probably just going to crash at his place so I don’t have to take the metro home drunk. You know how it takes like two hours to get back from Gangnam and all.”

“You sure? You could just grab a cab.”

Seunghoon nodded. “Yeah don’t worry about it, he lives with some college friends and he said it wouldn’t be a problem, and you know how I hate being drunk in public. It seemed like the best solution.”

Chanhee shrugged. “Okay, okay, your choice. Just want to make sure that I don’t have to call the police when you’re not home by midnight. I’ll hold off until tomorrow morning.”

Seunghoon smiled. Phew. He grabbed his phone and keys and stuffed them in the jacket’s pocket. “Great! So I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Chanhee called out merrily.

“So basically anything but murder?”

Chanhee grinned. “I don’t know, I could think of a few justifications for murder.”

Seunghoon rolled his eyes. “Bye Chanhee!”

“Have fun!” Chanhee called after him, and Seunghoon quickly closed the door on him before he started going on about ‘his baby’ again. At least he and Joowon weren’t a tag team anymore, Joowon would have to actually be present for that.

The remnant chill of winter tugged at him, he should have worn that scarf but he’d been afraid it would look too try hard. He wasn’t quite sure why now. Agh, why was he so stupid about all of this?! It was no big deal. He just kept telling himself that. It was totally no big deal.

He buried his hands in his coat and kept walking. He hoped he wouldn’t be late, it had taken longer than he thought it would to pick out his clothes and get ready, even after he’d had to stay late at the supermarket to close. He kept a brisk pace going and headed to the metro station, it was a long walk to the Sacheongyo Bridge station and he regretted his clothing decisions with every step.

The station was busy, which was normal for a friday night. It was already 11:30PM and there were so many people in their own nightlife clothes going out and about. Girls in tight dresses and short skirts, guys in trendy shirts with immaculate hair. Seunghoon was starting to feel self-conscious about his own style choice again. Was he too casual? Nothing to do about that now.

He glanced briefly at the blue line that would have taken him to Gangnam, then he headed along with the steady stream of people going for the dark green line. A subway train arrived at the stop just when he got to the station and he quickly hopped in. At least this was going smoothly.

He leaned against one of the dividers in the train and grabbed his phone just to double-check where they were meeting. He’d looked up where on the map it was and plotted out a route but he just wanted to make sure that he hadn't been mistaken. It wouldn’t hurt to double check, right?

God, he was so nervous.

He glanced around nervously to see if anyone was looking. If anyone was trying to catch a glimpse of his phone. Keep it together Seunghoon, geez. It’s not like they can tell. It’s not like they’re checking everyone’s phones for signs of deviant behavior.

He navigated through his hiding folders and opened Jack’d, going thorugh the app to get to his messages. He’d actually been talking to a handful of people on here, just talking, nothing more. He hadn’t met any of them in real life before, but it was nice to have someone to chat with during break hours or quiet evenings. People like him. People who got him and people who helped him. All under their own fake names of course, because nothing could be open. Nothing could be simple.

But no sense going down that rabbit hole tonight, he had more pressing things to be extremely nervous about. He opened the chat history and double-checked the address of the bar. He’d had it correct all along. Of course he had. Good, though. He sent a quick message to let the guy know he’d be a few minutes late and before he knew it the metro voice announced his stop.

He felt like everyone had to know what he was doing as he got off at Jongno 3ga. What else did people do in this neighbourhood? They must have been watching him when he got off. They must have been judging.

It was almost a sensory overload ascending the stairs out of the subway station and being greeted by the bright neon lights of the neighbourhood. He was still overwhelmed by Seoul sometimes, especially the busy nightlife neighbourhoods. There were so many signs everywhere lit up and asking for his attention. Each high rise had several floors of bars and restaurants and places with a sign ready to let him know it was there. He didn’t know where to look. It was a good thing he had the route mapped out on his phone or he wouldn’t even have known where to start.

There were so many people too. He tried to navigate quickly through the crowd but that was easier said than done. There were people in his way walking at a snail’s pace, others coming up from the other side just as he’d managed to weave past the slow ones. Seunghoon was getting anxious. It didn’t help that his stomach had been doing somersaults since he’d gotten off the station and he was definitely at least fifteen minutes late now.

It took him awhile to find the place, one of the only bars that didn’t have a bright neon sign. Instead there was something of a white board with ‘Paul Kitchen’ on it, a drawing of a black and white dog above it surrounded by names and messages of people who’d been there.

The bar itself was up a set of stairs, above some Korean barbeque restaurant. He cautiously opened the door, peering in, both curious and scared as butterflies continued to abuse his stomach.

There were a lot of women inside.

It was basically just women. Everywhere.

Seunghoon was so confused right now.

The place was really nice, don’t get him wrong. It had a bit of a western aesthetic, everything was dark wood and warm lighting. He imagined this was what being in a log cabin in some European forest was like, just with more alcohol and way more women. So. Many. Women.

He must have been looking really out of place, as soon as a young waitress saw him she quickly set some cocktails down at a table with two girls and made a beeline for him. “Hello,” she said, friendly but a little guarded. Her hair was a pretty faded pink tied into a messy ponytail and her expression curious as she looked him up and down. It was obvious that his presence here was not usual. “Can I help you?”

“I’m, eh, meeting someone?” Did he come to the wrong place after all? But the message had definitely said Paul Kitchen.

“Yunyi, he’s with Dongmin!” an older woman came from the kitchen dressed smartly.  

“Oh, right! Sorry! I forgot he was bringing someone along again.” The waitress turned back to Seunghoon. “He’s at a table in the back. You’re late, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. S-sorry,” Seunghoon stammered. He hadn’t expected to be shamed by the waitress. He made his way past tables upon tables of women. Sometimes two on two, sometimes sitting together in a group. Some women were at the bar, one of them was regarding the pink haired waitress with a cheeky smile while he saw another one accept a drink from another woman as she sat down next to her and s an arm around around her waist.

And there, at the last table in the corner, was a lone guy staring out of the window. As if he felt Seunghoon’s eyes on him he turned his head to look and broke out into a slightly lopsided smile, dimples marking his cheeks and the slightest hint of laugh lines gathering around his eyes. Seunghoon’s heart skipped a beat.

Seunghoon had seen photos of him, they’d exchanged pictures before they agreed to meet of course, but it was different to see him here in front of him. In the flesh. He was older, late twenties, but still very much handsome in a nice dress shirt, the sleeves pushed up to the elbows (a little tight, Seunghoon noticed, not that he was complaining. Hello, muscles underneath.)

“Hey!” Dongmin got up from his seat and approached.

“Hi,” Seunghoon couldn’t help but smile but he also panicked a little. Dongmin was so very real. Physical. Present. Not a picture on his phone and text in blue speech bubbles but a real physical person that he was actually meeting to… well.... He did an almost involuntary little bow and Dongmin burst out laughing.

“Did you really just bow to me?”

“Y-yes?” Seunghoon stumbled. “I’m sorry, it was automatic!”

Dongmin laughed more. At least someone was enjoying his embarrassment. “This is a hookup not a business meeting! Oh man, you’re adorable.” He leaned in for a quick hug and Seunghoon was almost too surprised to hug back. He smelled Dongmin’s cologne, a light sweet smelling thing. “Come on, sit!”

Seunghoon took the seat opposite him. “I- I’m sorry I’m late, I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“Ah it’s alright, I had a lovely view,” Dongmin waved his worries away. He smiled at Seunghoon across the table and Seunghoon’s heart skipped a beat. “But now my view is even lovelier. So, we finally meet face to face.”

Seunghoon blushed. Had he really just said that?! He wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed for himself or Dongmin. Okay definitely for himself. Oh my god he’d really just said that and this was really happening! he had to get himself together. He managed to smile back weakly. “I guess we do.”

They’d been exchanging messages for a few days, to get a feel for each other, though Seunghoon had known when he’d first messaged ‘ddong min’ again that the goal of it all was a hookup. Aah thinking about it was making his stomach do all kinds of flips again. But here he was, feeling a little bit like the bravest man on earth. “This is a lesbian bar, isn’t it?” Seunghoon asked. He’d kind of clued in when some of the women around had started holding hands and feeding each other grapes. It was all pretty gay.

“Yeah! I know the owners, a lovely pair of ladies, and it’s a really nice place. Has great cocktails and no one will heckle us. I know you said you hadn’t done anything like this before so I figured meeting in a lesbian bar would be easier for you. Still very gay, but without the ogling.”

Huh. That was actually super nice of him, and Seunghoon couldn’t fault that logic. It did feel like a nice space to have a date- eeh hookup. It wasn’t really a date. He knew that. Still, there was one thing that puzzled him. “If it’s owned by two women then who’s Paul?”

Dongmin laughed again. Seunghoon caught himself leaning forward and quickly sat back again.  “It’s their dog! That’s why the sign has a dog on it. Don’t ask why, it’s best not to question them and just go with it.” His voice was not quite rough, not quite clear. It was mostly uninhibited. Seunghoon felt like he’d hang onto his words no matter what Dongmin would be talking about. Would hang onto his lips- Damnit Seunghoon you’re talking about dogs! Just dogs. Focus!

They ordered some drinks, some pretty and colorful soju-based cocktails that tasted all sorts of fruity and tropical and so very not European log cabin. “So what do you do for a living?” Seunghoon asked, desperate to grab any kind of conversation topic to distract himself of the smell, the view, the presence of Dongmin.

“I’m a salaryman,” Dongmin said, a little impatiently. Had he asked the wrong thing? Were their actual lives not a topic he should breech at a hookup date thing? “As boring as it gets. Pays pretty well though so I’m not really complaining. What about you?”

“I work at a supermarket,” Seunghoon said. He didn’t even feel embarrassed about it. He loved that supermarket. “It doesn’t pay well at all but it pays enough and it’s actually pretty fun.”

Dongmin cocked his head. “Are you a student then?”

Seunghoon shook his head. “No, I’m really just a full time shelf stocker. It’s okay though I don’t mind it. I just like living here and making ends meet as best I can.” He was starting to feel a little lightheaded, like little puffs of cloud were appearing in his head. It was a nice feeling. The alcohol was working. Or Dongmin was. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about any of this it was really confusing.

Dongmin reached out for Seunghoon’s hand, casually, like it was the most normal thing for Seunghoon’s hand to be covered by that of another man. For that hand to start tracing lazy circles on his skin, leaving trails of sparks in its wake. A chill ran down his spine. It felt… well it felt amazing, honestly. And it was making it really hard to concentrate.

“We could go to a club for a bit, if you like,” Dongmin said. “After our drinks. Loosen up a litte.”

Seunghoon shook his head so much that the edges of his vision blurred as the faintest tendrils of alcohol clouded his mind. He shouldn’t drink much more, he didn’t want to be drunk for this.. “I- eh. I can’t really dance. Well not like that-” He remembered the comments from Jinyoung, the dance practices and stumbles. “I suppose not in any way, really.”

“You’ve never danced before?” Dongmin asked.  God, he was drunk enough without the alcohol. None of that was needed for intoxication tonight.

“Well I have-” Seunghoon started, panicking a little. This was getting too close and those circles, those slow and casual circles traced on his hand, much  too present to think clearly. Too real. “But not at a club.”

Dongmin raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his seat, taking his hand with him. Seunghoon could still feel a ghost of a lingering touch as the cold absence of it set in. He wanted that hand back but he couldn’t just ask for it. Should he do something back? Was Dongmin expecting him to reach out now? To touch? To return the lazy circles of sparks on skin in kind? Could he? He was looking at him even more curiously now, wait, he’d said something, hadn’t he?

“What?”

Dongmin chuckled, a low rumbling in his throat and Seunghoon felt in his bones. “I asked, are you a dancer then?”

Seunghoon snorted. “No no no. No I’m not a dancer.” but that would cause questions that he didn’t really want to answer now. “ I, eh, would rather not say?”

There was that amused lopsided smirk. That tug on lips to one side, shifting the dimple from two cheeks to just one.“I won’t judge you if you’re stripper.”

Seunghoon actually burst out laughing. “Do I look like a stripper to you?!”

Dongmin looked him up and down. “Well I certainly imagine strippers to have more… mysterious sensual allure, that is, when I imagine strippers. Which is not as often as I’d like, actually. I should definitely be imagining strippers more often.”

“I’m offended that you don’t think I have mysterious sensual allure. Not really what you want to say to your date, is it?” Seunghoon teased, doing his best imitation of that smile. That tilt of the head, tug of the lips,  glimmer in the eyes.

“Hey don’t get me wrong, you’re cute. Really cute. But mysterious sensual allure?” Dongmin grinned. “But hey, why don’t you prove me wrong tonight, then?”

“Oh don’t think that I won’t!” It took him a moment to realize what he’d actually just said and he felt his face flush. He’d really just said that oh my god. He could happily sink through the floor.

Dongmin just laughed and with that sound the feeling of embarrassment lifted. “I look forward to it.”

Man he was lucky that Dongmin was someone who seemed to be able to make conversation with a corpse. He talked and Seunghoon listened and tried not to drown, tried and failed to stop his eyes from wandering to those lips, that too tight shirt, staring too intently in those eyes.

“Hey,” Dongmin waved a hand in front of his face. “You still here?”

Seunghoon blinked out of his thoughts. “Sorry! Sorry hyung. You, eh, you have really nice eyes.”

Dongmin burst out laughing. “Oh man- you’re- wow. Yours aren’t so bad either.” Hah, that wasn’t something Seunghoon heard often.  Like he needed any more reasons to like this guy.

He turned his eyes to his drink, certain that his face was as red as it was physically possible to be. He almost jumped as something touched his hand and he glanced up to see Dongmin’s was back, this time intertwining his fingers with Seunghoon’s. This time the circles were for his thumb. He felt his heart beat in his chest, a feeling that was overwhelming, like his ribs wouldn’t be able to contain it for long. God it felt like his brain was filled with cotton and everything that existed on this earth right now was the two of them. His touch. His cologne. His smile.     “How was your drink?” Dongmin  asked. His voice, too.

Wait… was? He looked down to see that his drink was already almost finished. When had that happened? “It was good!” Seunghoon said, trying to ignore the beating of his heart and that touch. now he was thinking about it even more. Thinking about not thinking about it was really not helping. He cleared his throat. “It was great...” Not as great as Dongmin was though, not as great as the little dimples punched in his cheek when he smiled that lopsided smile and oh my god Seunghoon couldn’t handle this-.

“Do you want another one?”

Seunghoon shook his head. “No I think that’s enough alcohol.” He felt drunk enough without it.

The woman from before from before came over and chatted with Dongmin for a bit while Seunghoon zoned out a little. He didn’t mind the distraction at all, it was a moment to catch his breath and come back to his senses.

He looked around the bar. This little oasis of a lesbian bar in this very gay neighbourhood. Everyone looked so relaxed and comfortable and happy, the air was filled with the low hum of several conversations mixed together. Some of the women a few tables over were getting really drunk and loud as they played a drinking game, flicking a cap across the table. The pink-haired waitress was chatting with the girl at the bar, and he thought he could understand slivers of her conversation, something about Taeyeon?

And then his gaze returned to Dongmin, who was animatedly chatting to the lady about her dog named Paul, his whole face alight and alive. Sincere. Free. Beautiful. Seunghoon sighed and lean forward, propping his chin up with a hand and just watching Dongmin be real. Not an idea stuck in his cellphone but flesh and blood.

The woman he talked to looked over and caught his gave, sending hime a sweet smile. He returned it. Then she left and Dongmin turned back to Seunghoon. His little breather was over and he was back to feeling everything he could possibly feel all at once. “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

Seunghoon nodded and they both got up. Dongmin put his hand on the small of Seunghoon’s back, guiding him out the door. All he could feel was that touch, that soft steering pressure on his back. The proximity of Dongmin, the smell of the cologne, the way he fit tucked against Dongmin’s shoulder. He felt like any time now he could open his eyes from this daydream and be back in his grey unexciting life where people like Dongmin weren’t real, much less interested in him.

Even the chilly March air couldn’t do away with the warmth he felt. Couldn’t do away with that feeling of drunkenness.

Dongmin looked into his eyes and smiled. “Do you want to go to a hotel?”

Seunghoon looked him over for a moment, taking Dongmin in for all he was. The sparkle of his eyes, the dimples, the nice and little too tight shirt. The soft caress on his back sending sparks and shivers up and down his spine.

This was all there was in the world right now. He was vaguely aware of the presence of people around him, of the bustling street, the neon lights, the lanterns and life. None of it was important. None of it was real right now. Dongmin was real. God, he was so real and he was here and he was asking- oh my god he was asking the thing.

These weren’t just some butterflies, it was a swarm of locusts. There was a void in his stomach and it stirred to life. There was cold and there was warmth. Fear and sparks, apprehension and intoxication, but he felt little of the alcohol left in his system. Most of all there was the sheer overwhelming proximity of Dongmin, that lingering touch of a hand that didn’t need to be there anymore but certainly and undeniably was.

His heart skipped so many beats he was sure he ought to have sputtered to a stop by now. He looked into those expectant eyes, waiting patiently for an answer. Those dimples. Those lips. A tug, a want,  at his very being.

Seunghoon smiled back.

“Yes. Oh yes.  I do.”

wow this chapter is long, i hope it's not too long!! we've got our first real look at minjun, a time skip, and a look at what everyone's up to in the hiatus. exciting stuff all around~

(also: Jongno 3a is one of the gay neighbourhoods in seoul, the one the locals use moreso than the touristy and foreigner friendly homo hill in itaewon)