“How’s this?” Seunghoon stepped out of the room, showing off what he hoped to be an outfit that screamed ‘hire me please I need this job so bad’, also known as a slacks and smart-casual shirt combo, tucked safely in the pants.

Joowon gave him a thumbs up. “That looks like the picture of professionalism to me, I’d like to meet the manager who wouldn’t hire such a fine-looking young man.”

“Are you sure? It feels so stiff.” He pulled at the sleeves, rolling them up. It was far too warm to be walking in all of these layers.

The outside door opened and Chanhee came in holding a tray with three takeout coffee cups. He took one look at the scene and gasped. “One: I cannot believe you started without me!”

“You were taking too long and he has to go in an hour!” Joowon defended himself. Seunghoon felt a little bad and fidgeting with his sleeves.

“I am hurt!” Chanhee maintained. “Point number two: you look like you’re about to walk into the cubicle you will spend the rest of your life being miserable in until you die in that same cubicle and they only find out you have three days later when someone realizes the repetitive ticking of a keyboard has stopped.  I haven’t seen such soulless fashion sense since Seokmin hyung abandoned us. Those gray slacks, that,” he gasped. “Is that a blue striped dress shirt? Never let Joowon hyung dress you ever again.”

“Are you done?” Joowon asked.

“Only when I’ve rectified this atrocity.”

“Are you going to give me that coffee or is your plan letting it go cold so you can hightail it right back to your little cafe oasis?”

Chanhee had the good sense to blush the miniscule littlest bit. “See if I get you a coffee ever again!” He handed him one of the cups anyway though, and gave the other one to Seunghoon. “One cup of liquid courage with extra whipped cream.”

Seunghoon sniffed it. “You didn’t add soju or vodka, did you?” He took a sip, aaaah, there was nothing quite like hot cocoa. Thankfully it was non-alcoholic too.

Chanhee laughed his signature booming laugh. “Look, I know I’m getting close to wine aunt status but I’m not that bad. How are you feeling?”

“More scared than I felt before our debut stage.” Seunghoon had been sending out job applications ever since they’d signed the rental agreement, but now was the first time he’d heard something back. It was a position of shelf stocker at a supermarket a few blocks away. He was so nervous, he’d never done anything like this before.

“You’ve got your cool uncles here to coach you,” Chanhee said. “What can go wrong?!”

“You’re literally the same age as me,” Seunghoon protested. Seunghoon had asked Joowon for help, he always looked so in control of things and was by far the most mature and independent of them all. He’d figured Joowon would know how to get himself hired, and Joowon had just found himself two new part time jobs. The guy was a pro by now. Chanhee had been an involuntary addition to the interview helpline, but not an unwelcome one. He had to admit he didn’t really feel comfortable with the clothes Joowon had picked out for him. “And it’s not like you’ll be in the room with me, or talking to me via a headset like they do in the movies!”

“Hoonie, listen to me,” Joowon said. “They would be lucky to have you, and we are going to go over exactly all of the possible interview questions a million times until you’re the most prepared bub in the world.”

“But first we have to fix this,” Chanhee motioned at all of Seunghoon. “I’ll lend you some of my clothes, we’re about the same height.”

Seunghoon was grateful for their help, even if they were both rather ridiculous about it. Chanhee proceeded to dig into his own wardrobe for some clothes he deemed better suited, before all but shoving Seunghoon back into his bedroom to change. Seunghoon didn’t mind the help, his own fashion sense was rather abysmal, or so Chanhee had mentioned more than once.

He was surprised how little they had mentioned the fact that Seunghoon now changed clothes behind closed doors whenever he could. He didn’t really feel comfortable just changing in front of the others since… the thing…. Didn’t think Chanhee was very comfortable with it either, so at least it spared more awkwardness there.

He tried not to think about… the thing… But things had changed anyway and he hated it. To Chanhee’s credit, he hadn’t let it get as awkward as Seunghoon had thought it would be. Seunghoon had been absolutely mortified that morning when Chanhee had walked in on him crying. He’d completely forgotten that Chanhee was going to clean that day, and he’d been sure his life was over when Chanhee had found the ripped up remains of the pamphlet. He shuddered. He didn’t much like thinking back to that day. That feeling of raw fear in the pit of his stomach was not one he thought he’d ever forget. If he just focused on other things in his life he could keep going, so that’s what he was doing.

He shook his head. Come on Seunghoon, don’t go down that rabbit hole. He focused on trying to figure out the outfit that Chanhee had crafted for him. The pants were simple black jeans, somewhere in that happy middle of casual and formal wear. Tighter than Seunghoon would like, but otherwise they were nice. There was a simple white and navy striped shirt and a navy blazer. It all seemed kind of fancy and expensive to him, like most of what Chanhee usually wore. He was so used to walking around in whatever, things he could just rip or spill things on. He was probably wearing something now that was more valuable than all of his clothes combined.

“Is this better?” he asked when he emerged back from the bedroom.

“Come here.” Chanhee proceeded making everything perfect, rolling up the sleeves just so, creating a perfect roll of the bottom of the pants, and tucking in the shirt just so. “There. Now you’re perfect. If the manager doesn’t hire you on looks alone I will have to come down there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“Are you sure that’s not too casual?” Joowon wondered.

“He’s going for a stocking job, not applying to be CEO.” Chanhee argued. “He should look young and stylish and put together, not like he’s going to his grandfather’s funeral.”

“Alright, alright, I concede defeat!”

“I have to go in 20 minutes!” he reminded them. “Hyung, help me, what are they going to ask?”

“They’re going to ask some of the usual questions like why do you want to work there? What personal qualities do you possess? You might also get some personal questions like what your parents to for a living and how it feels to live on your own,” Joowon told him. Seunghoon squirmed a bit at the thought of the personal questions, why would they need to know that for a job interview? While he knew there wouldn’t be a question like ‘are you an unnatural ual deviant?’, he still didn’t like people prying into anything personal.

“You want to be professional but personable. You want them to remember you for positive reasons,” Joowon continued. “But most of all you want to look confident and convince them that they need you, and not anybody else, for this position.”

Seunghoon nodded. “Okay?” He wasn’t quite sure how he would do that but he knew he could try.

“Here’s what you’re going to do-”

Joowon spent the next twenty minutes telling him exactly how to answer the various interview questions they might ask of him. Every once in awhile Chanhee interjected with some tips, or to put some personality into things, in his words. Seunghoon mostly nodded along, hoping very much that he’d be able to remember it all and not getting any less nervous the closer the interview came.

“Hyung I have to go,” Seunghoon said, eyeing the clock nervously. .

“Wait wait wait!” Chanhee stepped forward and artfully messed with his hair a little, brushing the straight hair just so that his fringe fell perfectly. He stepped back and gave Seunghoon a look over.  “Okay, now you can go.”

“Good luck!” both Joowon and Chanhee said almost at once.

“Thank you,” Seunghoon managed to croak out around the nerves that blocked his throat. It was silly to be this nervous, it wasn’t like this job actually meant a lot to him, it was just to pull his weight and pay his share of the rent. It was a supermarket job for goodness sake! A singer is what he wanted to do with his life, not some sticking boy at a local supermarket, so why did he feel so nervous?

It only took a few steps outside for the wind to ruin all of Chanhee’s hard work, and Seunghoon was positive his hair was a crow’s nest after only the first gust.

He was so nervous when the supermarket loomed ahead. It was a medium-sized chain supermarket catering to the residential population of the neighbourhood. They’d done their shopping there before, that was the reason Seunghoon had even seen the ‘help wanted’ poster at all.

Alright Seunghoon. They want you. You just have to convince them that they do. Here goes.

~*~

Seunghoon threw the front door open with as much dramatics as he could muster. “I got the job!!”

Both Chanhee and Joowon were still in the living room, no doubt waiting for him to come back. “What!” Chanhee grinned. “I can’t believe you- I mean of course you got the job!”

“How did it go?” Joowon asked after giving Chanhee a jab in the rib.

“Well, eh, they seemed to mostly just really need employees,” Seunghoon said. “So they didn’t ask a lot of questions…” He’d spent so much time stressing about what he would answer to all the questions Joowon had coached him on, and then when he’d actually got the hiring manager had mostly just asked him if he had a criminal record and when he could start. “I’m starting next week!”

“We did it!” Chanhee high fived Joowon.

“You’re gonna make me cry, Hoonie, I’m so proud.” Joowon mimed brushing away a tear before sweeping both of them into a group hug. .

Seunghoon stiffened, but he felt too happy to let the usual wave of discomfort swallow him. He gently disentangled himself, unable to keep the grin off his face. “Thank you for all the help.”

“How are you feeling?” Joowon asked.

“Nervous,” Seunghoon answered. Maybe even more so than before the interview. He’d never done any of this before, had never done any kind of work aside from the idol stuff. It was like entering a whole new world all over again but now without the dreams to cushion him. “But excited too.”

Chanhee clutched Joowon’s arm. “Our baby’s all grown up!”

“They grow up too fast!” Joowon returned without missing a beat.

Seunghoon laughed. “You are both the absolute worst.”

“Come on,” Chanhee said. “I’m making crepes for dinner to celebrate, go set the table and I’ll start.”

It all felt so natural and so weird at the same time. So domestic even if it was three co-workers. It was really like they were living together now, even more so than before. Before it had been idol stuff, training and practicing and shows and recordings. Now it was just work and being roommates. It reminded him of home, in a way. He and his parents had always relied on each other, even if they had their own lives, they only had each other at the time. Their lives coincided most of the time, and diverged other times, but it was still together. He felt the sting of guilt, for so long he’d been preoccupied with getting out of the farm and into the city, he hoped his parents were doing okay together without him. He supposed he’d see them with chuseok now.

“What do you want on yours?” Chanhee asked from the kitchen.

“Eh…” How much was he allowed to have? Was there still a diet? He glanced at Joowon. “Are we supposed to stick to our diets?”

Joowon considered it. “We shouldn’t destroy our diets, but it seems fine to indulge a little more now.”

“So what you’re saying is,” Chanhee said. “Some everything it is. Honey, banana, chocolate, and whipped cream. Hm maybe some powdered sugar too, do we have any?”

“That much?!” Seunghoon gulped. “Is that okay?”

“Hey,” Chanhee said. “Go big or go home.”

Joowon grinned. “Can’t argue with that. Make that two crepes with everything.”

“Three everything-crepes it is!”

It was disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Way too sweet than any of them could stomach. But it was also perfect. That evening everything was perfect.

The constant click of the camera and barked orders of the man behind it were familiar to Wonwoo now. He was done some shoot or other for some magazine or other, he didn’t really care honestly, with another model he didn’t know, some sweet girl, he thought she might be a figure skater too? She was certainly flexible. He wasn’t sure what the shoot was for, some kind of fashion magazine or something, but he liked the aesthetic. Dark and smoky and dangerous with a good helping from the smoke machine.

When he’d first done a couple shoot it had been kind of awkward. He had to be all coupley and touchy while he didn’t exactly have any experience with women himself. Still, Wonwoo found that as long as he just listened carefully to the instructions of the staff he’d do okay, and if there was something Wonwoo was good at it was following instructions. Place an arm here, arrange his face there, lean back a little or lean forward, whatever was asked Wonwoo would follow. While the smoke machine was the only steam in the building, he could at least pretend there was chemistry, and Yohan knew exactly how to steer him by now.

“Lean forward. Get closer to Narae, Wonwoo.” click. “Nice, nice, not too close. Put your arm around her. A little to your left. Look dangerous, like she’s prey. Eyebrows lower. That’s right” click. “Look her way, part your lips a little, look in awe Wonwoo, perfect.” click.

Then when a scene was done, he’d get to join Yohan, the photographer, and actually look at the shots that came out of it. It was always kind of mesmerizing to see himself on screen like this, looking like someone entirely different. He never looked like himself, but he liked that. He liked becoming someone else, it felt familiar somehow. Wrapping a role around himself until the picture staring back at him was everything he wasn’t but longed to be.

He wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up being so good at photo shoots, he didn’t particularly feel like he should be good at them. Sure, he’d had his share of family photos taken (probably more than his share, his mother did so love a good perfect photo on top of the mantel), but those were just smile at the camera, look as perfect and happy as you possible could, that sort of thing. Modelling meant all sorts of expressions. A dark look into the camera in an abandoned parking lot wearing dark leathers and jeans. A silly thoughtful expression balancing on a little step stool in a shoot full of whimsy. A puppy dog expression in a colourful domestic couple shoot. A mysterious look dipping another model in a stark suit. He loved it all.

He’d never done a solo shoot, it had always been either with someone noteworthy or with a bunch of models of his sort of calibre. Sometimes a fashion magazine needed a someone to support their cover shoot while sometimes they just needed to fill the pages with the latest fashion. Whatever it was, he was pretty sure he ended up one of Yohan’s favorite models by now, the photographer didn’t exactly make a secret of it.

“That one looks excellent,” Yohan pointed at a shot on the screen where the spotlight was on the female model with Wonwoo creepy out of the shadows in his smoky makeup and dark clothes.. Yohan was right, it did look excellent.

“That’s mostly your skill, hyung,” Wonwoo said. “Look at the lighting here and the way the colours balance, that’s going to look excellent once you edit it and throw the colour filters over it. The backdrop and lighting of this shoot looks fantastic. Especially the way the overhead lights bathe her in light here.”

“And it throws you into a mysterious shadow,” Yohan nodded with approval and laughed. “I’ve trained you well, Cha Wonwoo, you have a good eye for this. It won’t be too long before I can get you a solo shoot.”

“What really?” Wonwoo couldn’t help but burst into a smile, his heart skipped a beat. He’d never done a solo shoot before and he’d been afraid to hope for one. He didn’t mind hanging back and being support, but being on there alone and being the center of attention for once, well, he wasn’t going to say no to that. That other Wonwoo on a spread of his own, holding his own. He couldn’t wait.

Yohan patted him on the shoulder affectionately. “Let’s advance that career of yours, shall we? You’re an excellent model and it would be a shame if you only got background shots for the rest of your life, wouldn’t it?

“Have you ever considered making the jump to runway model too?” Yohan asked. “You’re about tall enough to be considered and it’s a better career move than being a photography model. Better chance at a breakthrough, steadier work, and better connections. I know some designers who are always in need of a handsome face that can take directions, I could put in a good word for you?”

Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. “You’re asking me if I want to…?”

“Of course! We can talk about it over drinks tonight, or do you have somewhere to be?”

Did he have somewhere to be? Baekhyun had asked if they could keep their thursday evenings free to eat together but he should understand that this was something different. Wonwoo really wanted to go out with the staff, he’d never been invited before, and besides it was already late. He probably would not have made it in time anyway. He didn’t like to break promises, promises are there to be kept, but he needed to know what Yohan meant about that career of his… “Yeah, sure! I’d love to come out!”

“Great,” Yohan was already backing up his things. “It’ll take some time for everyone to be done packing up, if you can spare the time it’ll be worth it. Yoonha knows the best bar in this area and some of our friends will be joining us too, there are some people I’d love for you to meet!”

Wonwoo looked around for Seokmin only to remember that he’d come to the shoot alone. Seokmin was busy with the acting trainees (something about undoing all the harm the other manager had done?) and Wonwoo had volunteered just getting there by public transport. He’d take a taxi home, it was no problem.

When everything was packed up (with some help from Wonwoo, he knew he should wait around while others were packing up, that was rude), Wonwoo grabbed his coat. He took one glance at his phone. Still no reply from Joowon about missing dinner. He wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Are you coming?” Yohan asked. The others were waiting for him.

“Yeah!” Wonwoo put his phone away. They’d see it. “Lead the way.

His sneakers screeched on the floor as Baekhyun went over The Chaser’s choreography again. Every day he chose one song to start with and one to end with, so he could be sure that he wouldn’t forget them. It was hard to do it alone, so much was dependent on formations, but at least he could go through the paces.

He hadn’t always been alone at first. Youngbae had made good on the promise for a few weeks, but he was showing up less and less to practice lately. He’d been helping Baekhyun with his rap here and there and Baekhyun just had to practice on his own.

Joowon wasn’t around much either, he was usually working nowadays. Baekhyun wasn’t sure what he was doing exactly, odd jobs is what Joowon usually said when he asked, but it sure kept him away from the practice room. Even when Baekhyun went to the dorm to hang out he wasn’t often there.

Chanhee was around sometimes, though he usually joined the acting trainees when he was at Helix. He didn’t usually bother practicing their dances with him.

At least Wonwoo and Jinyoung were still around regularly. Wonwoo still went off to do photo shoots, but otherwise he sometimes joined Baekhyun. Jinyoung was around almost every day, and Baekhyun did join him often but Jinyoung was getting more and more moody and sometimes he was kind of scary. Whenever Jinyoung practice he went almost without breaks nowadays. Baekhyun kept meaning to ask him for help with his vocal technique but he was a little scared to do so.

He would’ve asked Seunghoon, but he was hardly around too. He’d been working a lot, Baekhyun knew, and hardly ever came to practice even when he was off.

Baekhyun hadn’t felt so lonely in years.

Why was he even still doing this? Why was he practicing all on his own when nobody else could be bothered to join him? Why was he putting the effort in at all when nobody else was?

He let himself drop to the ground, The Chaser still echoing through the room. Why was this happening? Everything had been going well, they were a team! Now everything felt like it was falling apart. Even when he went to the dorm there was either hardly anyone there or they were all too busy with their own things.

He was starting to think it had been a mistake to go back to his parents, but how would he be able to pay his part of the rent? If he got a job then he wouldn’t be able to practice, and he was already lagging behind everyone else.

He’d thought it would be nice to go home to his mom for a bit but he just ended up feeling more lost.

The door opened and Baekhyun quickly brushed away the tears that had started to well up just as Seoyeon peeked into the room. “Baekhyun? Why are you sitting here alone with the music on?”

“Hey noona!” he tried to adopt as bright a tone as possible but his voice wavered.  Maybe she hadn’t noticed? Nobody liked to deal with a blubbering weenie who was probably complaining about nothing.

“Woah there buddy, are you okay?” she asked. Oh no she’d noticed!

“Y-yeah I’m okay-”

“Well hello there big fat liar.” She walked over the stereo and shut it off. The silence made the room seem even emptier than before. “You’ve got a face longer than the great wall of China. Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

She was looking at him with such honest concern, he just caved. “It just feels like it’s all falling apart, you know? The company as given up on us, the group is divided, everything is falling apart.” He wish he could take the words and pull them back, make them unsaid, wring out all the doubts and fears so he wasn’t this negative scared thing anymore. Nobody liked talking to someone who blubbered about.

“Oh boy.” She sat down next to him. “I’m really sorry for your predicament, it really . Chanhee oppa vented all about it last week, it sounds really frustrating to be benched like that.”

“I just keep thinking about what I did wrong. What could I have done to make it better? Maybe I should have been more charismatic, like Chanhee hyung or Joowon hyung, or practiced as much as Jinyoung hyung. Maybe I should have connected more with the audience, or being more bright and friendly.” He knew it was a silly thing to think, it wasn’t like he’d be allowed to go back in time and actually fix things. He should be looking at the right now and what he could do now! He tried to always keep his head in the present so he didn’t get stuck in the past. There was nothing good in the past to get stuck about.

“Remember when you were a little pipsqueak?” Seoyeon asked. “You were, what, like 12 at the time?”

“I was 14!”

“Alright, alright. Point is you were tiny and you were so scared, and I remember thinking the company would eat you up and spit you right out. This guy won’t last longer than a month, I thought.”

“How is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“Shhht I’m trying. I’m not very good at this okay. Point was, you didn’t quit. You just did your best and smiled a lot and made everyone love you with that weird pathetic charm of yours. I don’t know anyone who survived this jungle quite like you did, but you made your own way even if it was hard…” she trailed off. “Eh. I forgot what my point was, . Sorry I’m really bad at this whole cheering up thing.”

Baekhyun laughed softly. “It’s okay I appreciate the effort.”

“I think what I was trying to say is everyone has different ways of dealing with like this, and maybe the ways the others deal with like this doesn’t quite align with yours so it feels like it’s falling apart, but that doesn’t mean that you’re any less a team. You’re just a team that’s going through a rough patch right now.”

Huh. She was right. People were different, he couldn’t just expect everyone to be here in the practice room giving it their all when they were all trying to wrap their heads around the hiatus too, and they were no doubt all trying to work with what they had too and try to find a way out of it themselves.

“Just.. eh. You know. Don’t be too disappointed if things don’t work out either,” Seoyeon continued. “I mean, . I don’t know. Don’t give up on what you have? I guess all you can do right now is not waste this hiatus time, but that’s why you’re here isn’t it? This company is honestly a smoking pile of a lot of the times, and most of the time we need them, but we also have to work within the system and use our own strength not to let them drag us down.”

Baekhyun nodded. “I’m trying to make the most out of it, someway.” He didn’t really feel comfortable talking about the company like this. It had given him so many opportunities he otherwise would not have had, it felt like biting the hand that fed him. Sure, they didn’t always make decisions the group liked, but that didn’t mean that they should disrespect the company or the CEO either.

She nudged him. “And hey, if you want a chat you can always find me around. I might be at comforting people but at least you can always count on me to talk about people when you need to vent.”

“What, no I’d never!”

She laughed. “This is why you’re a little weirdo.” She got up and gave his head a little pat, as people were wont to do. “Just don’t give up, little guy.”

“I won’t! Thank you!” Of course he couldn’t give up, he’d come too far now for that, he couldn’t let either of his adopted families down like that.

Seoyeon left the room and he was alone with his thoughts again, though he felt a lot less lost now. She was right, he should make do what he had and he should keep in mind that everyone was different! So, that just begged the question, how could he bring them all together again? They were currently growing apart because they were dealing with everything different, so he had to figure out how to get them a common goal so they could all work towards the same thing again! That way they’d be brought together again, right?

He couldn’t shake what Seoyeon had said about Helix. Not quite in her words, he’d never repeat those, but what she meant. Sometimes they had to work against the flow to keep afloat, helping themselves instead of waiting for the company to help them, something like that? But what if they did exactly that? What if they could just make a song of their own?

That would be perfect! It would give them a common goal to work towards and they could use all of their strengths! And if they made something of their own then surely that ought to bring them together  right? Because it was theirs?

That was it! It was brilliant!

Baekhyun hastily grabbed his things, almost barrelling straight into one of the acting trainees as he ran outside towards the dorm