Daras’ POV

It’s been a week since that incidence has happened and I still can see his face whenever I close my eyes, they frighten me the most. It was big, obsessed and delusional. I was so glad Jiyong came at the right moment, I would have lost it completely if it were not for him. He sits quietly with me most of the time never nagging, always speaking to me in hushed soft tone as if he is so afraid that I will break if he raised his voice. At night when my nightmares come he would embrace me and I can feel his heartbeat getting faster whenever I start to cry out of fear. I am consoled by his presence but at the same time I am ashamed of how a small incidence has changed me and my happy disposition. I cannot control it and I somehow wish it would go away. Jiyong has become my pillar of strength and I am embarrassed that he has been going out of his way to help me. I heard them whispering several night ago on how GD asked that all his appointments be postponed for the next 2 weeks because of me. I wanted to thank him for that and yet I am afraid that such an act will be considered a submission to him.

“Dee are you awake?” I heard him whisper in my ear and I slowly opened my eyes. Jiyong was standing next to their bed (it has become ours after the incident) with a tray in his hands.

“Oh sorry I’m supposed to be the one preparing food for you… sorry Ji,” as I awakened and sit up on the bed.

Jiyong placed the tray in front of me then he looked at my face closely, probably checking if I am feeling good today, I wanted to tell him I have been feeling great ever since we started sleeping in one bed but alas he would see this differently and I cannot have it that way. Then he kissed my forehead – I told myself I will miss this once my ordeal is over.

“Not today you won’t, you need to rest and calm down, that’s what the doctor said remember?” Of course I do, I also remember the fact that I will have sessions with a psychiatrist to resolve my issues. I’ve had series of that in the past prior to 2NE1 because YG wanted to make sure I can handle the pressure - it was after my father left us and I lost my career and my liar of a boyfriend from the Philippines. It was too much pressure for me that I am often frightened and panicky in the presence of people I do not know. At that time GD said he understood but back then he was impatient wanting me to go out with him with his friends even if I am uncomfortable. It caused a lot of issues between us.

“Dee hello what are you thinking about? You are overthinking again… please eat your breakfast I cooked that for you” I smiled at him woke up from my introspection and started to eat his kimchi rice. “How does it taste?”

“Like you.” I said smiling up to him he smiled back but asked.

“Like me is that good or bad.”

“That’s good, really good,” I admitted not only because it really tastes good but he made it for me.

“Jinjja? (really?).” he smiled at me brightly, I have not seen this in days, he would always look at me with fear of something in his eyes… ahh I wish he would tell me why, do I frighten him, does my condition scare him?

“Ne” again I smiled up to him as I continued to eat.

“That’s great! You’re humor is back! Oh baby I’m so happy,” he hugged me and my heart fluttered in reply.

“Don’t worry I will work on being well again. I am affecting your work and I do not wish for that to happen “ I admitted shyly.

“Dee my work will always come second only to you, don’t worry.” He told me smiling.

“No I know you love what you do and I respect that, I will get better that’s a promise!” again I said with conviction.

“Thank you baby I want you back to your old self, I miss my feisty Da