Have you ever talked to someone, then completely shut them out? I just did that. To my Jungkook. It was such a bad decision to talk to him. UGH! Why am I so STUPID!? I asked him questions on how I act. And he answered me by not looking at me. Am I that horrible to look at? Am I seriously so desperate? --------------------------------------------

After the whole argument (I guess), I tried to call Jin. He hung up on me...

...Am I losing my friendship? Maybe its not that, but it could be. DAMMIT! Why am I even thinking like this?! I should be happy with myself. I should be happy. But do I really want to be happy? ----------------------------------

A few weeks ago, I dyed my hair red. I loved it. I kept showing it off to the guys. How could I not? It was an amazing color on an amazing guy! It fit well with my helix piercing. Maybe I'll dye my hair silver. Nah, next time. ---------------------------------------------

Namjoon texted me. He asked me how I was doing. I didn't know what to write. I'm okay, but at the same time, I'm not. Its just complicated right now. I still haven't answered back. Should I tell the truth, or should I lie? Tell a lie, I guess. I dont want to worry him, like at all. I know how he is. I promised him last year that I will be more happy. That I'll become a better person for myself and for him. I think I'm breaking that promise...-----------------------------------------------------------

Almost 2 am. Still haven't texted Namjoon.

What should I do?

I'm confused. I'm alone. I want sleep. I'll sleep...>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2nd chapter up! Thanks for reading!