009

Jiyeon’s POV

            I stirred awake from my sleep, which I myself didn’t realize when I fell asleep. Once I opened my eyes, I got up from the bed finding myself in an unfamiliar room. I jumped off the bed while rubbing my eyes before looking around, wondering of my current whereabouts. It took me a few minutes to recall that I came back to Myungsoo’s apartment with him from the hospital after the incident with Chanyeol. Ah, Chanyeol… why did he have to appear in front of me? My heart hurts every time I thought about him. I looked outside the balcony and saw the orangey sky. The sun is setting.

“Where’s Myungsoo?” I asked myself as I realized this must be his room.

I walked out the door to the living room and there I found him, sleeping on a couch. Pretty sure I actually fell asleep on the couch too before, he must have carried me to the bedroom. Why did my face suddenly feel hot? Stop thinking nonsense Park Jiyeon. I went to the kitchen and got myself a bottle of cold water before making my way back to the living room. As I was about to take a seat on one of the couch, I heard sobbing sound. What? Did Myungsoo cry? I put the water bottle on the table and approached the sleeping Myungsoo. I could certainly see teardrops, and his shoulders were trembling as he sobbed. He’s crying in his sleep, or did he wake up? No, he’s still sleeping. I knelt down on the floor facing the sleeping Myungsoo.

“What kind of nightmare are you having Myungsoo?” I asked, half-whispering.

My heart pained seeing him frowning whilst sobbing. I placed my palm on his head and gently caressed it. His sobbing gradually lessened, but he’s still frowning. As I was staring at his face, his eyes slowly opened up, finally awoke. He was surprised seeing my face right in front of him as soon as he opened his eyes and he quickly sat straight on the couch.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized before settling next to him, “And thanks for lending me your bed and room.” I smiled as I thanked him.

He awkwardly looked at me before looking away in a split second, “You’re welcome.” He then answered.

“Did you dream of your late mother?” I dared myself to ask. I was sure that he needed someone to talk to, and I’d be that someone now. As expected, he looked at me with a surprised expression, “I went to see your father when you’re admitted to the hospital, and he told me about your mother and your depression.”

“You met my father?” He asked, surprised for the second time, “Promise me you won’t go there anymore.”

“Why?” I confusedly asked.

“Did you tell him your name?”

“Yes, and I did introduce myself to him as your high school friend.”

“. I don’t wanna get any of my friends associated with him.” Myungsoo was his forehead as he looked at the floor, “I hate him.”

I instinctively caressed his back, not knowing what’s in his mind right now, “But he seems to care about you a lot. You know, sometimes our parents did something we hate because they want the best for us.”

“You don’t understand Jiyeon! My family is not like yours. Just because your parents shower you with love while you grow up doesn’t mean everyone lives the same way. My family is not like yours. I’m not loved like you are.” I slightly flinched as he raised his voice, and there’s tension in his every word. Our eyes met and we remained like that for a while until he looked away while sighing, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get mad at you.” He apologized.

I grabbed his hand and placed it on my lap, “I’m sorry. But I’m here for you now, Myungsoo.” I assured him but he suddenly pulled away his hand from my grip.

“I’m sorry Jiyeon. I think I did wrong by asking for your support. Maybe we’re better off without each other,” My heart hurts seeing him smiling as he simply refused me. Did I really hurt you back then Myungsoo? Weren’t you the one leaving me hanging? Weren’t you the one breaking the promise you yourself initiated?

“Myungsoo… I’m not joking.” I said, holding myself from crying.

“I’m not joking too. I’m so used to being this hopeless. Maybe I should just live my life the way it should be, and just wait for it to end.” Why were smiling Myungsoo? How could you simply smile as you said something so stupid?

“You said you need me? It’s okay. I’ll be there for you this time. I pro—”

“I think you should go back first. I’m kinda sleepy too. See you later.” He simply cut me off and stood up before leaving to his room.

“Are you gonna disappear again once I come looking for you?” I asked, and he stopped right in front of the room’s door.

“I’ll be here.” He briefly answered before finally disappeared into the room.

Author’s POV

“Jieun-ah what should I do?” Jiyeon placed her head on the table, giving up on life.

“Yahhh how could you become a pharmacist with that brain? You really don’t know what you’ve done back then?” Jieun asked in disbelief, looking at her friend.

Jiyeon urgently lifted up her head and eagerly stared at Jieun, “I know I was a little cold towards him back then, but he’s the one leaving and broke up with me with a stupid little sticky notes!”

“Yah you’re too loud!” Jieun scolded half-whispering as people were staring. It’s been two days since Jiyeon last saw Myungsoo after he told her to leave, and Jiyeon couldn’t gather her courage to go and meet him again after that. So, all she did was moping around during works, and couldn’t sleep thinking about the whole situation, especially after what happened between her and Chanyeol. Thus, today she had to force Jieun to come to the hospital’s cafeteria during her lunch break to help her figuring out everything. But, all Jieun did is playing riddles with her. She kept asking Jiyeon whether she really didn’t remember how she treated Myungsoo back then.

“Just tell me now Jieun-ah.” Jiyeon took Jieun’s hands and begging her to spill everything.

“Alright alright. I don’t know you’re this dense.” Jieun sighed, giving up, “The way I saw your relationship with Myungsoo back then, it looked like he was the one loving you more than you love him. He was always there, pursuing you but sometimes you’re kinda indifferent and you didn’t even try to show your affection towards him, there’s no effort at all so he kinda seemed pitiful. I was wondering too if you actually love him.” Jieun shrugged as she explained.

Jiyeon slightly groaned as she ruffled her hair, “I did love him Jieun. Did you think I was doing a charity work by accepting him as my boyfriend? It’s because I really felt something although all he did is being clingy all the time. I’m just… not good at showing my affection.” Jiyeon finally admitted, as she knew she couldn’t even express her love for Myungsoo properly.

“It’s not just that, Jiyeon.” Jieun said, “I think sometimes you’re just trying to act cool because you know, you’re an ice queen. You could’ve shown a little bit of effort, but you didn’t because of your pride.” Jieun’s words stabbed Jiyeon right in the heart, because she knew she couldn’t deny it.

“I know…” Jiyeon placed her head onto the table again, “I was such a bad girlfriend.” She acknowledged.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you back then Jiyeon…” Jieun’s voice suddenly lowered as her expression shifted to a guilty one.

Jiyeon promptly stood straight and looked at curiously looked at Jieun, “What is it?”

“The day before he transferred, I mean the last day he’s attending school, and the same day you’re absent, I saw him coming out from the counselor’s