I’m still number one? After all this time? Even after all those guys you dated, all those times you talked to me about how great they are? What am I to you then? Am I on a different list? Was I still number one when you were dating Nichkhun?

I don’t say anything and I just stare at her.

It’s because you always say things like this. Am I supposed to brush it off? But why are you looking at me like that?

Tiffany breaks the silence after searching for words, “They were just.. They were never...” she looks as if she’s in deep thought before continuing, “Like you. They were never like you...so that’s why...”

“I wish it could be me.” I say truthfully without thought. Tiffany is like this she says confusing things but I wanted to be like usual. I wanted to be the one who thinks about my actions but recently I can’t seem to do that. Its like all the emotions kept hidden over the years are finally coming out. I want to look away but I can’t help looking at her.

She’s staring at me with her big brown eyes filled with an unknown emotion. Her lips are glossy, her skin is milky and her hair is perfect. She’s so mesmerizing I can’t look away.

She moves her hand so it’s touching mine and my heart rate increases.

Then something more unexpected happens. Tiffany leans into me and kisses me. After what feels like an instant she pulls away and puts her hands around my neck. We kiss again and I can feel her tongue in my mouth so I reciprocate. We pull away to breath and now my heart is beating out of control.

Tiffany is so hot.

I push her down so she’s lying on the couch. She usually looks strong at least stronger than me but now she looks so vulnerable. I kiss her again, my leg naturally makes its way between Tiffany’s legs which makes her moan. I can’t help putting my hand up her Jersey to feel her warm soft skin and she reacts to my touch. Her skin feels so good that before I know it I touch her s over her bra. My other hand travels the opposite direction to her front. This causes her to gasp and she tries to break away from our kiss, “T-Tae this is too—“

Suddenly the door opens “I forgot my phone and I only realized when I— I KNEW IT!” Hyoyeon shouts from the door as she sees me on top of Tiffany with my hand up her top and my leg still between hers.

I immediately take my hand out of Tiffany’s top. Hyoyeon quickly grabs her phone off the table then rushes out, “Pretend I wasn’t here!” She calls.

I can’t believe that just happened but my mind is too full of Tiffany so I move forward to kiss her again.

She puts her hand in front of my mouth, “We need to talk.”

Reluctantly I sit up

“What if people find out! Hyoyeon already saw us! And we’re moving too fast! We can’t ,um, you know!”

Tiffany starts panicking but she moved her hair to one shoulder so her bare neck is exposed in front of me. I can’t help staring at her perfect milky skin.

I should have kissed her neck.

“Taeyeon are you listening!” She pushes my arm with hers.

“Unnn.. “ I reply nodding

I wish Hyoyeon didn’t come in...

Tiffany now pushes me, “This is serious!” I look up but she sees I’m not concentrating ,”I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m going to shower.” She gets up and starts walking away.

I don’t want her to go

“I want to talk!” I lie

“It’s fine.”

“Should I join you!”

“No! ByunTaeyeon!” She shouts back.

Why did she have to leave? Tiffany why are you such a good kisser? Why are you so perfect?

I’m not going to be able to fall asleep. I feel too excited.

I shower as well then I go to my room and lie on my bed. I pick Jack up and cuddle him with a big smile on my face, “Ahh Fany-ah why won’t you sleep here today.” I whine while rolling around.

I pick my phone up and go to instagram to talk to my fans.

“Is anyone still up kkkk. I’m here to talk for a bit ^^”

“Taeyeon-unnie! You’re still awake ! What were you doing <3 <3”

“Hmmm, I’m not telling!!”

“I LOVE YOU UNNIE!”

“kkkk I LOVE YOU TOO! “

“Unnie how are you so pretty TT”

“You can’t even see me ^^”

“You’re always pretty!”

“Hmm you guys are good at compliments. My fans are the prettiest though! <3”

“Kkk Unnie! I have to be up early tomorrow but I’m sacrificing for you <3 <3 <3”

“Nooo TT don’t sacrifice for me!! I’m going to go to sleep now so don’t stay up too late kids

kkk I LOVE YOU!”

I really do love my fans. They support me no matter what and cheer me up when I’m sad. I always want to communicate with them because I would be no where without them. Although I told them I’m going to sleep I’m not. More like I can’t sleep so I start playing phone games.

*The next day *

I feel sleep deprived from my all night gaming. I want to spend time with Tiffany but she’s already out. The new year is so busy. Today I have rehearsals for the golden disc awards later so I can’t go to yoona’s movie premier. I wish I could go everyone is going to be there and going to rehearsals alone is so lonely. Most of the groups are still new so they put some distance between us. There’s only a few people I can talk to since I’m not that outgoing.

While lying on my bed I pick up my phone and go to my chat with Tiffany. I start typing a message but what do I type? I miss you? I love you? What are you wearing? Can you send me a picture?

“I hope you have a good day ^^” I type and send.

What is our relationship? More than friends? More than best friends? Best friends don’t kiss each other like that...

HYOYEON! The gossip queen! That’s why Tiffany was freaking out yesterday. Should I talk to her? What do I tell her? I was helping Tiffany... she fell? She was stiff? There was a bug? It’s not what it looked like?

I sigh

Just that moment I get a message which I think will be from Tiffany but it’s Hyoyeon , “Sleep well *sipping tea *”

I choke on air

“It wasn’t what it looked like.”

“And what did it look like taeyeon-ssi * still sipping tea *”

I don’t know what to reply but Hyoyeon sends another message.

“Gwaenchana (it’s ok)”

“Thank you.”

I finally get a reply from Tiffany

“YOU TOO BAE!!” She replies and sends a selfie of her winking and blowing a kiss. She’s wearing a white partly see through blouse so you can see her black bra through her top.

As expected she’s pretty today too. I grin at my phone.

Time goes by fast as I just lounge around at home, playing with Ginger and Prince as well as.listening to music. I get ready and head to the golden disc award rehearsals not forgetting to take my coloring book with to pass time.

As expected the rehearsals are lonely especially since I can see how much fun everybody is having at Yoona’s movie premier. I do joke around with some of the staff but I mostly just play with my coloring book in my spare time while trying to fight off falling asleep. Some of the younger group members come to greet me and we talk for a bit but they all seem shy so I try guide the conversation.

I want to go back to the dorm now.

“I wanted to be there too TT” I send to the group chat.

“Work hard top solo artist!” Sooyoung replies

“kkkkk I will!!”

Tiffany should have been allowed to perform at at least some of these award shows. I hope in the future she performs in all of them with me.

“It would be way better if you were here too tae.” Tiffany sends to just me.

“Fany-ah I was just thinking... I hope we can perform on the same shows together again.”

“<3 I have to work harder!”

“You already work hard!”

“Thank you ^^”

I get back home after rehearsals and collapse on the couch. I’m so tired. I already have low stamina and I hardly got any sleep yesterday. I close my eyes...

“Taeyeon wake up.” I hear sunny call but I just turn around on the couch.

“Come on you need to sleep in your bed and remove your make up” She nudges

“I’ll be there now...”

“Wait why do I sound like your mother right now.” She comments and I chuckle but I still don’t get up.

“Fany-ah! You wake Taeyeon-nim up! I’m going to shower.”

I hear Sunny walk away and Tiffany walk closer.

“Are you still asleep?” She asks while poking my cheek

“Yepeoni” (pretty + Tiffany )

“Taeyeon-ah how sleepy are you.” She says and pinches my arm.

“Ow.” I react by instinct and open my eyes to see Tiffany smiling at me. It’s a good way to wake up.

“Did you miss me?” She says cutely cupping her face

I smile and look away then I sit up and stretch my arms out but I fall back down to the couch.

“Taeyeon!” she moans now trying to pull me up by my arm.

“Fine !” I sit up again now pretty much awake and I rub my eyes.

Tiffany sits down next to me, “Remember I said we need to talk... You know about our feelings... but let's not talk here. What if someone comes again.”

She grabs my hand and pulls me to her bedroom. Her room is white but her bed is pink and there’s a lot of pink items in her room. Very different from my room which is filled with more blue and black. It’s also more organized than my room. She sits down on her bed but I stop by the door.

She hits the spot next to her, “Tae.”

I reluctantly sit down, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“How do you feel about me?”

* Dogun dogun dogun *

“How do I feel? My feelings... The way I feel is... You’re the most important... Out of everything.”

She puts her arms around me and hugs me suddenly causing me to fall back to the bed.

She’s lying on me. I hope she doesn’t hear my heart beat, “Tipany-ssi are you going to get off me.”

“Really?” She says not loosening her grip

“What?”

“Am I that important?”

I return her hug, “Yes.”

“I feel confused! What am I supposed to do?” she hugs me tightly

“Um... You can do whatever you want Fany-ah”

“Stupid.” She says in English teasingly

My hands that were on her back travel down... Tiffany's is so y.

She stops hugging and sits on top of me also managing to pin my hands down , “OH MY GOD! BYUNTAEYEON!”

I can’t help grinning because of the situation.

Tiffany blushes but she looks like she likes the new arrangement so she leans down and French kisses me. Kissing feels so good and I start feeling really because of where she’s sitting.

“I want to touch you.” I say between kisses

“No, you can’t.”

“Why?”

She stops ,”You haven’t even taken me on a date yet.”