“He’s so handsome.”

“Did you see his eyes?”

“Forget about the eyes, did you see his abs?!”

“He’s perfect”

Seollin scoffed at the banter around her. She gave an eye roll, albeit only when she was sure that her short hair was covering her face, as she shifted in her chair. She should just ignore them, after all she really couldn’t afford to start up a fight with her fellow music group mates. Again.

“Even his name is dreamy, Park Jimin.” One of the younger girls of the group muttered, stars practically shining in her half lidded eyes.

“Sounds more like an ajussi’s name to me.” Seollin grunted, immediately freezing when all eyes in the room turned to where she had been previously hiding behind the grand piano. Darn my unfilterable mouth.

“What exactly is your problem Jin Seollin?” Jinhee, a girl from her class, all but sneered as she fixed the other with a fiery gaze. “You don’t even know the new boy. Do you have to be so mean?”

Seollin looked up with big eyes at that, because excuse her, the girl who could have easily stared in Mean Girls as the fourth Plastic, is calling her mean? Seollin isn’t mean. Just realistic. And maybe a little blunt. Fine, she can be slightly sarcastic as well.

“No, I don’t know him.” She said in a cold voice, she had long since given up on trying to be civil with Jinhee. “But I do know that no one is perfect.”

“Oh you mean, no one that would ever hang around you is perfect.” Jinhee’s friends laughed along with their annoying shrill voices. Even some of the other girls, whom Seollin had classified as half decent before, smiled a little. Because who would want to get on the wrong side of Jinhee’s posse?

Seollin looked over wistfully at the guys of the group. They were huddled in the corner of the room, heads bent, completely ignoring the on-going drama, only focusing on their instruments. Which is what Music club is supposed to be all about, might Seollin add.

Biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything she would later regret, Seollin threw her head down. Groaning internally as she slammed the keys of the piano in frustration. Finally realizing that she wasn't going to get a fight out of the other girl today, Jinhee quickly went back to giggling with her friends.

“You know…”

“I swear to god Lynx, you say one word about this new guy and I will slam my tray into your big head.” Seollin hissed before shoving an egg roll into and chewing at it viciously.

Lynx pursed her lips as she gave her best friend a once over. “Why do you hate him so much? You haven’t even met him.”

Why does everyone keep saying that? No Seollin hadn’t met him, and she had no desire whatsoever to do so either, thank you all very much. The guy was a senior, and she didn’t talk to seniors. She didn't even talk to her classmates if she could avoid it. She probably wouldn’t even be talking to Lynx if she didn't hate (love) her so much.

So no, Seollin didn’t personally know Park Jimin. But in the two days from when she had first heard his cursed name, news about him seemed to be popping up everywhere. He had been mentioned far too many times (by far too many people) for her not to want bash her head in at every new comment.

Oh have you met Park Jimin, the son of a wealthy CEO who has just moved back to Seoul after living abroad for two years? Park Jimin who has a killer body, but a sweet baby face. Park Jimin who is so good in dancing that he has already managed to wow the performing department. Park Jimin who is so charming, that he even has their batty headmistress weak at the knees.

“Park…freaking…Jimin…” Seollin spat out the name, causing a piece of egg roll to fly out and land on her best friend.

“Gross. Eat it, don’t spit it you freak.” Lynx gave her the stink eyes, as she brushed the offending piece of egg off her arm. “You do that again and I won’t let you come over to play games today.”

“I can't anyway.” Seollin answered, checking her watch before she started to wrap up her lunch box. “The school showcase is coming up and they need us for the music. I have to stay after class for practice.”

“You do know that the dance department is joining the showcase as well, right?”

“Shat.”

Throughout the whole talk through of the showcase, Seollin could only focus on one person. She had been eyeing the infamous Park Jimin for a good ten minutes. As much as she resented to accept it, the older boy had turned out be every bit as handsome and polite as everyone had told her. Seollin scrunched up her eyes as she hunched in her seat behind the piano, this guy had to be fake somehow. No one was allowed to be that perfect.

“Seollin?”

“Uh yeah?” She almost jumped up for her seat to find the whole room, including Jimin, staring at her. She willed herself not to blush as she tried to focus on what her teacher was telling her.

“I was saying that because of his amazing dancing skills, Jimin will be performing a solo stage at the showcase,” no “but he needs a pianist for his stage,” don’t say it “and you just happen to be one of our best,” just leave it “I would like you two to work on the stage together.” Nooooo.

“You already know how serious we take our showcases. So I want the two of you to stay back after school ends and to practice. Together.”

What crime did I commit in my past life?!

“You know…”

“Don’t you dare say anything Lynx.” Seollin muttered as she stuffed her text books into her locker and took out her piano sheets instead.

“You know,” Lynx trudged on none the less, “most girls at this school would literally kill to be in your shoes.”

Seollin gave her friend a once over. “Exactly. That’s the problem. They would be all too happy to kill me. If you haven’t noticed, I really don’t need any more enemies.”

Lynx could only roll her eyes as they made their way through the crowded corridor. “You know you can be such a drama queen sometimes.”

Seollin decided not to answer, instead she slung her bag over her shoulder and gave the other students a longing stare. School was over for the day but she wouldn’t be able to go home because she needed to attend her one on one practice session. Seollin hadn’t been too pleased when Jimin had somehow dropped by her class, Seollin had no idea how he even knew which class was hers, and asked them to have their first practice session that day. Lynx could call her a drama queen all she liked, but Jinhee’s death glare had seemed all too threatening.

The practice room was approaching fast, and had it not been for Lynx’s slap to the back of her head, she would have probably turned around and walked the opposite way. But before she could free herself from Lynx’s clutch and make her grand getaway, the door of the practice room was opened. And out stepped Park Jimin, in all his glory, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt Seollin thought was far too tight to be considered decent enough to be worn anywhere near a school.

“Oh hey Seollin.” He wore an easy smile, as his hand went up to straighten the snapback on his head.

“H-h-h-hi”

“He said ‘Seollin’. Not you, you can go now. Bye Lynx.” Seollin shook her head as she pushed her stuttering friend away. She only speared Jimin one glance before she pushed past him into the room and walked over to her trusted piano. Tidying her sheets, she looked over to see Jimin standing nervously in the middle of the room, fiddling with his thumbs and refusing to meet her eyes. Who knew that the boy was shy too? It was almost… cute.

Shut up Seollin.

“So, um thanks for agreeing to help me out.” He finally looked up and Seollin had to stop herself from shooting him a look.

“Well, unless you didn’t notice. I didn’t really have a choice.” The boy looked momentarily surprised but Seollin couldn’t bring herself to care. Usually she would have more lenience towards anyone who wasn’t Jinhee or her zombie followers. But Park Jimin had been getting on her nerves for days. His name alone caused her to clench her teeth, so excuse her if she couldn’t be more civil. “Are we going to get on with this or what?”

“Yeah, sure…”

“He’s looking at you.”

Not for the first time that month, Seollin once again asked herself as to why she couldn’t find someone better to spend her lunch times with. “I swear Lynx, I have a scone and I’m not afraid to use it.” That only earned her a scowl. “And bedsides, you obviously need to get your eyes checked. He’s looking at Jinhee, you .”

One month on from the first time Seollin had heard the name of the boy, and Jinhee had already managed to work her charm. Her father had turned out to be an acquaintance of Jimin’s father and now the two were rumored to be dating.

“My eyes work fine thank you very much. I’m telling you, he’s checking you out.” Lynx backed away a little with a suspicious gaze as Seollin picked up the scone from her tray.

“You’re just lucky I love food more than I hate you.” Lynx scoffed as Seollin stuffed the treat into .

It was half past six as Seollin jammed her music sheets into her bag. Practice had taken longer than they had expected and now she couldn’t wait to go home, jump into her bed and try to ignore that she knew anything by the name of homework.

“Hey Seollin?” She still hadn’t gotten used to how her name rolled so easily off of Jimin’s tongue.

“Yeah.” It was really hard not to notice how a single drop of sweat rolled down his face onto yet another one of his ridiculously tight shirts, this time it was a shocking red. Stop being such a freaking ert. Seollin mentally slapped herself. She really needed to stop reading all those fanfics Lynx was sending her.

“You know, it’s pretty late. Would you maybe want to catch a bubble tea or something?” He gave her an easy smile, but Seollin wanted nothing more than to slap it off his face. Who was he to randomly go around and ask people out on dates. This had to be against some universal law.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Jinhee that?” the words were out of before she knew it. Great, now I sound like a jealous idiot.

“But I wanted to ask you?”

This time Seollin could no longer deny the thumping of her heart. He said the words so easily, like he had no idea just how much of an impact they had on her. Like it was every day that a perfect guy just dropped by and asked you out.

It’s probably just something he learnt abroad, she reasoned with herself. All the time reminding her stupid heart to shut the eff up. It’s just a friendly gesture for him. Don’t let Lynx’s words mess with your head.

“Um, sure. I guess we could grab something to eat.”

No matter how hard she denied all the assumptions Lynx had that Jimin and she held a special relationship, Seollin couldn’t help but to sometimes question it herself. In the course of a few weeks, Jimin had gone from being a stranger with no face and perfect attributes, to being a senior she couldn’t deny as attractive, to being a team member whom she had been forced to work with, to being what she could probably now call a friend. And yet even after all the rapid changes, she couldn’t help but to think that maybe, just maybe, she wanted more.

Her heart would skip every time she dropped a sheet and Jimin quickly swept down to get it, his hand gently brushing hers as he handed it back.

Her cheeks burnt red whenever she watched the elegant dance moves he portrayed so effortlessly in the afternoons that they spent locked up together in an empty room. More often than not, she had been forced to use her hair as a shield, and hope that Jimin was too focused on his steps to notice that his pianist had somehow turned into a tomato.

Her lips involuntarily turned up in a smile whenever her phone lit up with a random text from him, asking about why she looked like she was about to murder someone. She’d look up to see Jimin giving her a cheeky grin from the other side of the hallway.

And she could never forget the first time he had asked her for her number. She’d had to meditate for a full week to be able to come clean about that one to Lynx. And then, even after five hundred mantras of ‘we’re just friends’ and ‘hey you have my number too and are we going out?!’; Lynx still hadn’t let that one go.

And let’s not mention the time she nearly had a heartache because Jimin wanted the last kimbap she had ordered for lunch, and the little had thought it was ok to do aegyo for it. Because that totally didn’t happen. Don’t listen to Lynx. She lies.

Seollin didn’t know exactly when she had started it, but it had been a habit of hers to keep a notebook and glue in random quotes or pictures that she found interesting. The battered notebook was filled with what Lynx liked to call rubbish, but to her they were much more. They gave her the imagination she needed when she could no longer think up new songs, the motivation she needed when she felt like there was nothing else left in life, the laughter she needed every now and then.

There were a couple of quotes that she really loved, but there was only one that stood out to her the most. A random sentence she had once stumbled upon on one of her numerous rampages on the beautiful thing called the internet. She had printed it out with her crappy printer, stuck it to the first free page she had found, and been obsessed with it for days. Going so far as asking all her friends (read friend) what they thought the sentence meant.

“It means someone got high and decided to write it down to pretend they’re smart.” Her fixation on the quote had quickly disappeared after that. Because darn Lynx, why did she always have to be a kill-joy.

And yet after all that time, the same quote still remained in her notebook, the letters faded on the weird colored background, because her stupid printer is color blind and thinks that purple is the same as a horrid sea foam blue.

“One does not simply appreciate a piece of glass, not without the light rays shining through, letting it show its true colors.”

She had sat at her seat for a few minutes, staring at the wavering screen of her laptop the first time she had read that. It means no one’s perfect. She had mumbled it to herself. No one has a perfect life. But the only way you can love someone and live life to the fullest is by accepting those flaws. Because everyone has a flaw.

Maybe she should have remembered those words.

The first time Jimin missed their practice, she had worried. She hadn’t seen him in school during the morning either and that in itself was weird. Usually he would find any excuse to seek her out throughout the day. Whether it was to steal her food or to have a chat with Lynx because the two, annoyingly, got along rather well.

But that day neither she nor Lynx had seen him. However Seollin had dismissed it, although he mostly didn’t seem like it, he was a senior after all. He would be graduating that year, he had exams to study for, and collages to apply to, surely one busy day didn’t indicate anything unusual.

Opening the door to an empty practice room however had started some danger bells. Jimin had never, not even once, bailed out on a practice without informing her beforehand. But it wasn’t until she called his number, only to find out that it had been turned off, that she really started to worry.

The rest of the night she had sat in her room worried sick, checking her phone every few minutes to only hear the same annoying message; the mobile set is off. In the end she had somehow managed to convince herself that Jimin was fine. And if he didn’t show up at school again tomorrow, she’d go to his house to find him. Of course she would actually need to know his address to do that, but grand plans are almost always stupid.

As luck would have it, she never got around to the great plan of hers, for when she rushed into the senior classroom first thing the next morning, Jimin was in his seat. All bright and happy as he gave her his usual smile once his eyes fell on hers.

“Where were you?!” Seollin’s tone was angry, but she was so happy to see him safe and sound that there was really no bite to her words.

“Sorry, a family emergency happened, I would have let you know but my phone died.” He said the words with a small laugh, but there was something about his guarded position that told her to not pry anymore. Not to ask why he simply hadn’t charged it or found another means to contact her. As long as he was ok, she didn’t really need to know what had happened.

If only she had noticed his slightly crooked smile…if only she had noticed that he wasn’t ok.

“Do you want to take a break?”

“I’m fine!”

Seollin was slightly taken aback by his loud voice, she had never heard him raise his voice before.

“Sorry.” He instantly looked sheepish, taking off his cap to run a hand through his messed up hair. “I’m honestly fine.”

She wanted to believe him, yet she knew he wasn’t. She’d known he hadn’t been ok for weeks. That first day had not been the only practice Jimin had missed. After the first time he had remembered to call her beforehand, always talking to her with a light tone so she wouldn’t worry. Yet the closer they got to the final performance, the less frequent their practices became. It wasn’t just their sessions either, Jimin was also missing school. She had missed a school day once before and the headmistress had gone on a full-on CIA mode. Asking exactly why she had been absent. So the reason as to why Jimin was allowed to miss so many schooldays, slightly scared her.

But the thing that frightened her the most was what had been happening during their spars practices. Jimin was an amazing dancer. Everyone knew that. But Seollin couldn’t help but notice how he had been off for the last couple of practices. More than once she’d heard him wince as he did a particularly hard move. He tired more easily. His mind seemed to be in another place. He wasn’t as coordinated as he had been.

“Jimin… is everything ok?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

This time even she noticed the blatant lie behind his words.

She hadn’t thought that she would ever need to go back to her grand plan that had failed before it had started. But three days with no news of Jimin, had her standing behind the gates of a huge unfamiliar house. It had taken a good twenty minutes of pleading, threatening and almost screaming for Jinhee to ask her father and finally give up the address.

Her finger slightly shook as she pressed the bell, she contemplated running away after that. After all Jimin and her were only friends. At least that’s what she would call them. Maybe he would only see her as an acquaintance. What right did she have to come looking for him at his house? If he needed her, he could have called her instead of ignoring her.

“Yes?” a woman’s voice answered over the intercom, stopping Seollin in her place.

“Ugh…” Seollin quietly swore at herself in her mind for being so slow. “Is this Mr Park’s house? I’m here to see his son, Jimin.”

“And you are?”

“I’m his friend.” The word escaped before she could once again question the validity behind it.

“Master Park isn’t here.” The reply was curt, cold and yet somehow it had a sad undertone to it.

“May… May I know where he is?” it was almost like a question to herself as well. May she know? Did she want to know?

“Master Jimin is at the hospital.”

She’d never expected to see him so weak. Had his eyes always been so sunken? Had his lips always been scrunched in a frown? Since when had his skin been so drained from color? Was it just the contrast of the green hospital gown that made it seem so, or had she been blind all along? So caught up in their happy times and his happy image that she hadn’t managed to notice all the subtle hints.

He was sleeping. She could only be thankful for that. How was she supposed to confront him now, what was she to say? She wasn’t even sure exactly what was going on. Why was he at the hospital? Was he seriously sick? Was the sinking feeling in her stomach a sign that there was terrible news to come?

“You know, I’m not actually sleeping.”

Seollin almost jumped five feet in the air. Looking at Jimin’s mischievous smirk, she could only give a sheepish look. “Oh.”

Jimin raised an, almost comical, eyebrow. Had this been any other day, she would have given him a good slap upside his head for mocking her. But this wasn’t any other day. Her mind was in overdrive, too focused on how to ask about the situation, to really care for anything else. “What are you doing here Seollin?”

He didn’t sound angry. Just tired. So, so, tired.

“That’s what I’d like to know as well.” She sighed as she slipped into the chair beside his bed. Gathering up all the courage, she finally asked the question that had been eating her up inside. “What’s going on Jimin?”

From a young age Jimin had always had a passion for dancing. How many five year old boys have you seen dragging their mother to their ballet classes? Not many, as his first dance teacher would always like to brag. He was the apple of his teacher’s eyes. The best of the best. Given his father wasn’t extremely happy that his son had chosen such an inconvenient hobby, but it was just a phase as he would say. As long as it made him happy, it wouldn’t hurt to have some free time in his early childhood.

But with the passing years, it quickly became evident to everyone that dancing was much more than just a hobby for Jimin. It was a passion. The reason he woke every day. Music, dancing… it was his dream, and a complete waste of time as far as his father cared. As the only child of the family, he was supposed to take over the family business, not to run around after a clown job (his father’s exact words).

The storm however came when he applied for Seoul’s school of performing arts instead of going the private high school his father had planned. He’d almost been kicked out of the house for that one. He’d stayed the weekend at a friend’s while his mother worked on his father. After that, he had been allowed to live in his father’s house, but from that day on he was no longer to be considered his father’s son.

Nonetheless he never regretted the decision to follow his dreams. Much like his childhood days, he was still the best dancer between his peers. His skill, passion and the amount of emotions he conveyed were always praised. People were envious. They saw him as the perfect boy who had everything. Looks, skills, money, charms… Yet no one seemed to notice how he didn’t have the most important thing of all. No one seemed to notice how at every showcase, he was the only student who didn’t have any guests. His friends would be flocked by family members, but he’d have to duck away before anyone could see the tears that would start to fall.

But yet he trudged on. In his second year, his contemporary dance teacher had suggested that he apply for a dance school in the U.S. Thinking that it may be the only chance he would get to get away from his childhood home, he had agreed. Endless evenings he practiced by himself. His home was only a place that he returned to to sleep. He hadn’t told his parents of his plans, and their indifference to him only drove him on more.

As days to his audition grew closer, he only practiced harder, pushing himself so far that even his teacher would tell him to take a rest. More often than he could count he had skipped meals to get the perfect choreography down. He could feel the stress of the world on his shoulders, he had to get into the program. He needed it. He needed an escape from being the perfect boy everyone thought he was. He needed an escape from being the huge failure his parents saw him as. He needed an escape from it all.

But he should’ve known that life barely ever goes the way you plan it to.

He did end up going to America for two years.

But for all the wrong reasons.

“I was diagnosed with MS three years ago Seollin. The doctors said I had stressed myself out beyond my limit. The parents who couldn’t even bare to look at me, the people who were the cause of my illness, spent thousands of dollars on a treatment that doesn’t exist. I was a lab rat for two years in America. Until I finally had enough. They told me there was no hope for me to ever recover. The pace of the illness differs from person to person, they can try to slow it down, but it’ll get me in the end.

“I’ve been fighting for so long, but now I’m… I’m… I can no longer use my muscles as I used to. I can barely feel my legs. And pretty soon I won’t be able to walk. They’re talking about sending me back to the U.S. Continuing my useless treatments. Buying me more time. But they can never give me back my legs. I can never walk again. I can never dance again.

“They don’t understand that I’m already dead.”

“Will you come and see my showcase performance?”

“Don’t you think everyone will be shocked when the all famous Park Jimin is pushed in with a wheel-chair?”

She gave him a slight punch. “You’re still the same Jimin, and if they can’t see that, then they’re blind.”

“You know you shouldn’t come to the hospital to see me every day. This place is depressing.”

“If you’re here, then it’ll only make me happy.”

“What are we?”

“You’re someone I care about.”

“I love you.”

“Please don’t do this to me Seollin.”

“Why can’t you agree to the treatment plan your parents found?!”

“Seollin stop. There’s no use.”

“There’s new drugs! New ways! You can, you can…”

“I can what? Stay alive? A life without dancing isn’t worth living.”

“Am I not worth living for?”

“Please Seollin, don’t do this to me.”

“Please. Please, Jimin, don’t do this to me.” She could only cry out his name.

But he could no longer answer.

Dear Seollin, 

I apologize that your prompt turned into this, it makes no sense, I know. But I hope that you won't hate it >_<

Love,
SheWhoMustNotBeNamed