From the moment when one is a baby, toddler until his teens, maybe even when one is an adult, people would always feed you with one imaginary word; magic. Not only magic such as dragons, witches or far off places but also the iconic people like Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and you could continue and make a list that would go on and on.

Some children get their heart warm by these stories only to end up in tears the moment they find out that Santa Claus was their father, the tooth fairy just your mother sneaking up on you when you are asleep even when you try to catch the fairy with the flashlight safely tucked by your side.

Well, I can tell you that I am one of the fortunate ones that never believed in all of these crap. There was no such things as magic or supernatural things. Even when I was young I had no interest in these things. Fast forward to the present where I’m in my teens, there was still no reason for me to believe.

I still remember that one time when my parents still tried to fool me. In fact, recently I had a dream about that particular place where we went to that time. It was nothing special, my parents loved to spoil me rotten and so we went shopping. A new store had just opened at the mall and therefore there was a huge discount which my parents never let away. One of the things they always managed to succumb to; discount and free stuff.

It was a store called ‘Build a bear’ where you, well you sure could guess it, could make a bear. You would pick an empty doll only to fill it up with cotton. The only thing which was different was the opportunity to choose a heart and put it inside. To satisfy my parents, I went along with it and picked out the largest and brightest heart as it looked the prettiest. Not that anyone would see it, but it was the thought that counted and if I was going to do this I should’ve done it well.

Writing my name on the heart with my messy handwriting, I put it in the bear and let the people fill the bear with fluffiness. It was only when it was finished that I started to smile unknowingly. The bear was cute, brown with big round eyes as if there were stars in his eyes shining so bright. The ears were round and decorated with an earring, also in the shape of a star. Not wanting it to be , we also bought simple clothes for the bear, black jeans and white shirt so it wouldn’t be too bare.

Just for a few months had I played with the bear until I put it in a box with all my other belongings that I didn’t want and need anymore. And so here we are fast forward in the front garden trying to sell all the things I didn’t need any more. Complaing about too less space in the apartment, that’s how I ended up in this situation, boringly seated on a lawn chair while being surrounded by so much objects you wouldn’t find anything if you were specifically looking for it.

“This hasn’t even been opened,” Dia responded surprised as she picked up a book. The girl loved books so it wasn’t a surprise that she skimmed through the titles and summaries on the back cover.

“You can have it for free,” I said to her and my friend smiled back.

“Hye, weren’t we here to help you sell? And now you’re giving it for free?”

“Well, the main reason for this all,” I said and spread my arms to gesture at everything, “was to get rid of everything and why not have some benefit out of it by selling them. You’ll get 100% discount though.”

“This one is such a cutie though!” Heejin chimed in and held a teddy bear close to her chest. It made me only sigh and wonder why I invited my friends to do this. Looking to the side I smiled as Hyunmi had probably sold one quarter with her talking skills.

“You should take it home with you,” Dia encouraged her, but saw their friend hesitate when a little child came up to look around, eyeing the bear in the girl’s hands.

“Do you like it?” Heejin asked gently and crouched down to be on the kid’s height. The child could only nod and it made Heejin only smile and look at me. I nodded at her, ushering her that this was the chance to sell something. Nah, not prioritizing money at all. I mean, you should see those big eyes practically begging for the bear.

“You know? Teddy bears protect you from scary and bad things when you sleep! They’re the best protectors you can have,” Heejin started and I sighed. There she goes again; is all I could think. She loved fairytales, magic and all the romantic sappy things.

When the mother came back to the child, the woman could already see how the bear was loved and not soon after did they buy it.

“I did it! I sold something!” Heejin cheered and I patted her for the purchase.

“Good job girl. Now the other things?” I suggested and chuckled when she scurried off to Hyunmi together with Dia.

The afternoon had passed and everyone was spread in the back garden having drinks and food. I was counting the money that was earned and grinned happily. Clapping my hands, the attention went to me.

"Great job everyone! We sold a lot!"

"I think I did the most," Hyunmi explained proudly while the others agreed.

"I don't think Hye did much though..." Dia muttered with a laugh and the others agreed.

"Alright alright! We'll spend this money together. Let's do something fun together," I suggested and they agreed wholeheartedly.

You could basically say that this is how I spend my days. Either school, studying and hanging out with friends. If you'd ask where the guy is in my life, there is none. There is no specific reason, no previous heartbreak that made me all melancholic and distrustful of men. Only one simple answer was there and that was that there were no boys that appealed to me in the neighbourhood. Considering that the village was quite small, maybe that was the reason for that.

That weekend it was a simple plan we had, getting fancy and going out. Maybe some drinks here and there and just enjoying our time together with dancing.

As everyone got ready we rode with one car, everyone pushed in the backseat practically sitting on each other's laps while Hyunmi sat comfortably in the driver's seat, me in the passenger’s seat.

"Tell me why we're going so early?" Heejin asked curiously as it wasn't even 12 am yet.

"Because you'll get free coins for drinks if you come earlier," Hyunmi explained and Dia nodded. "It's to safe up."

“So it’s to drink more,” Heejin declared and just when the others wanted to retort against her conclusion, Hyunmi announced they had arrived at the club.

After numerous attempts to park without bumping into another car or pole, the oldest had made it safely and the others got out quickly, excited to finally party.

Knowing my friends had to loosen up, I got them all a drink. Because even if they liked a few drinks or didn’t drink at all, the first few gulps were always the most difficult. As time passed by, the club started to get full and the dance floor was packed with people dancing, either with or without a drink in hand. Lights were flashing and the smoke machine was on to set the mood more although I had to say the smoke only made you blind and difficult to breathe.

Assuming Hyunmi was probably talking away with the bartender with her so called ‘cheese’ skills, and the others either dancing or just lounging and talking, I made my way to the dance floor after I went to the restroom therefore being separated from the others. With no drink in hand it was easier to sway along the music, not having to be careful about spilling my drink although most of these people didn’t care at all. After all, it was common to find beer on the ground, you shoes getting sticky, and shattered glass shards from the glasses that were knocked down or accidentally dropped.

Having maybe too much shots, I didn’t care either. Somehow I didn't mind him dancing against me as well. Actually, not somehow. He was quite a sight, and if you’d ask me who? No idea, I didn’t know him and I didn't remember seeing him here before. Feeling more bold than normal, most definitely from the drinks we had shoved down our throat as he offered me more as well, and more ambiguous to impress the new handsome face I started leaning closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck as we moved to the beat.

Letting my eyes wander around his body I noticed that his outfit was simple, white shirt and jeans that were ripped and covered with dirt at his knees which made me wonder if something happened. He made such simple clothing make so attractive, it must be one of his talents. With the lights and lasers flashing, his piercing shined in my eyes several times as well, but it didn’t bother me too much. Not so discreetly staring at him, I only grinned as he looked right back at me. His eyes were shining so I didn't know if it was from the lights of the club or his own. Either way it attracted me.

Hours into dancing and he suggested to take a rest and go outside. The sky was already lighting up as the sun was starting to ascend. I smiled at him as I could see his features better in this light. He was just so handsome I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, being so close that our arms touched, bodies almost pressed together as infatuation was so clear between us.

Only small talk was conversed between us, I wasn’t that stupid to expose myself especially in a club. But I wasn’t denying that I wanted to meet him again. giving not so gentle hints, I smiled and picked up my little clutch bag for my eyeliner to give to him before I was getting dragged to the car to end the night.

Not exactly recalling how we got home to Dia and Heejin's apartment since it was the closest to the club. Hyunmi must have drunken not too much for us to be able to arrive safely.

My headache didn't tell the same though. Holding my head and rubbing my temples with my fingers in an attempt to soothe the hangover I had, I stayed put on the sofa where I was currently laying on.

Last night... looking to my side I glanced at the clock to see it was already noon, the sun practically screaming it to us as the rays broke through the curtains. I tried to remember what had happened last night as I closed my eyes once again, the light was practically mocking at my misery.

How about you give me your number gorgeous?

Groaning, I hid my face in the pillow as I recalled what I had said before I had to rendezvous with my friends. The words were too greasy and cliché now that I looked back at it, but the guy had only looked at me quietly and smirked before he took the eyeliner from my hands, our fingers brushing. He had such soft fingers I remembered and wondered how it would feel to feel them again. to see him again.

Fluttering my eyes open again, I shoved the blanket down slightly and moved my arm quickly to see what his phone number was. My hand was frozen in the air as I stared at my arm that was smudged with eyeliner. The writing wasn’t so clear anymore and I probably dirtied the blanket with all the black liquid that wasn’t supposed to be used on your arm, but what was clear that it certainly weren’t numbers.

Mine.

‘What did he mean with that? Was this a prank?’ I thought in my head as I frowned. Nice try in making a move myself. Yay. With a sigh I got up even though my head was still pounding and decided to wash up. This guy was probably going to mess with my head the whole day even if I didn’t want to.

There were only two thoughts that were floating in my head though. Mine. One it was just a bad prank and he didn’t want to seem impolite to refuse such a request from such a beautiful lady as me. Or two, he was a bit of a creep. I mean, mine? If he was serious with this word then I’d already know that he had a possessive nature. Even with two negative possibilities, I couldn’t help but be curious and wanted to meet him once more.

Not wanting to get in a mess, I decided to keep this little episode from my friends. Knowing them, they would want to know everything from this guy where I didn’t even know the name of. I couldn’t be blamed for forgetting to ask not being in the right state of mind. Anyway, they would probably act out all Sherlock and set up an investigation just to find out more about him for their own curious benefit and not mine.

I didn’t need them to find him though when he found me instead after a week. It was highly a coincidence so I thought when we bumped into each other on the street and the small smile he gave me and the small wave made me smile. I was glad to see him again, momentarily forgetting about the black words on my wrist. That was already washed off by now, by the way.

“Fancy seeing you here,” the guy said and I smiled as he started the conversation first. My pride wouldn’t let me and it would be so awkward if only I remembered him, right?

“Well, it so happens to be that my favourite smoothie bar is around the corner,” I said with a chuckle and pointed to the building behind me with the hand that was holding the drink to emphasize my words. Smooth way to sign him with a potential meet up place if I must say so myself.

“I guess I will see you more often then, Hye,” the guy said with a small smirk before he started walking off again.

His action had me flabbergasted and rooted to the ground as I watched him walk away with such light steps that it felt like he was mocking me. What was this behaviour? Was he playing hard to get? Nonetheless I still hadn’t asked his name, number or even bringing up the topic of his writing on me. A small part of my mind called out to me that there was a possibility that I was just some girl to dance with for the night but I refused to believe that with the pride I had. Maybe the black scribble on my arm from a week ago had made its way to my brain because surely it was stuck there.

Not even a day after did I see him again and it hadn’t stopped ever since. Or maybe it was my belief because of my desires to meet eyes with him once again. Some days I would catch a glimpse in my side view, so I couldn’t be too sure it was him, and sometimes I would see him clearly and I could swear he was grinning at me before he blended with the crowd again until I couldn’t find him anymore. In short, it was like he was taunting me and was making me agitated with a purpose. One purpose; to never forget him. And never forget I did. The nameless guy was constantly in my mind no matter what I did. Studies were a weak attempt at distracting myself as I’d rather avoid that. Meeting up with my friends seemed to be a good plan, but I could already see the few odd glances that they send my way whenever I dozed off all of a sudden at times when I thought he was near.

It was one day after countless of days of seeing him in a distance when my friends finally called out to me asking what was wrong, if something was bothering me. I thought about the past few weeks and how odd this all was. He knew about the smoothie bar but even if he only knew about that, I would still spot him every day at least once no matter where I was. I could’ve called it coincidence but I had the feeling it was more like that. My mind started to find answers while my mouth blurted out a small ‘I’m okay, I have to go back now. You know, exams.’

Walking along the pavement with quick and heavy steps, I tried to figure out where I would see him next. The library? The smoothie bar? I was never a girl to approach a guy, expecting for them to come to me. But this guy was getting on my nerves with how different he was from other guys. In a positive or negative sense? I wasn’t sure about that. Sure, I was still attracted to him in some way but the possibility of him being a creep, stalker or maybe a killer started dawning in my mind as well. Too much imagination, paranoia or just precaution of what he could be, I wasn’t sure in which category my mind worked with.

Nevertheless, the moment I spotted him in my eyesight, I instantly turned my body his way to really see him with his eyes focused on me. My heart started going at a faster pace as I started marching towards him with my gaze on him and partly my surroundings. I wouldn’t want to get into an accident, I wasn’t that stupid. Finally reaching my destination I suddenly blanked out. What was I supposed to say now? My determination to find him, confront him wasn’t the problem but I hadn’t thought about what I was going to say at all. Turned out that I didn’t need to start first, because he had opened his mouth already.

“Missed me? You looked quite pleased to find me in the crowd,” he said with a small smirk and in turn I scoffed, returning the gesture.

“Those are quite some confident words you’re mustering up,” I retorted back and folded my arms in front of my chest.

“Words where I indeed have confidence in. Seeing you run after me makes me quite satisfied.”

“With how recent I see I think that’s only fitting considering you have quite a lot of questions to answer.”

“I don’t mind answering your questions, Hye. In fact I love talking to you, but I found it more fitting to make you not forget me so easily,” he said simply and before I knew it I had followed him into the more quiet streets. The way he talked with so much confidence made me frown and roll my eyes. In a way we seemed a bit similar I guess since I had the same traits. Confidence, not cockiness.

“So shoot.”

The two simple words did shoot me out of my daze and I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration. This time I wouldn’t forget to ask.

“What is your name?”

“You of all people should know it best, Hyesun.”

I could only glare at him more as he avoided my question before something went off in me. Did I tell him my name the one time we met at the club? How did he know my name? I was sure I didn’t at that time.

“Answer my question and don’t avoid it. Again. What is your name?” I interrogated him once more.

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” he said with feigned hurt displayed on his face.

“Very funny…” I started, but my voice got caught in my throat. I didn’t know his name... or so I thought. “… Hoshi?”

“Bingo,” he whispered close to my face and invading my personal space. When he pulled away, I breathed out of relief, not knowing I held it in all this time.

Why was his name the first thing that slipped my mouth? I eyed him once again to study his featured and I frowned. White shirt. Black jeans. Star shaped piercing. Hoshi, meaning star in Japanese. The name that I had given the teddy bear I had gotten from my parents. I saw the resemblance and it almost scared me. Getting myself together, I pushed him further away and glared at him.

“Stop joking around! Is this some kind of cruel prank?! Who hired you? What is all this?” I started to yell annoyed at him, trying my hardest to keep it together and not sound like a total lunatic although I probably looked like it already considering I was already screaming at him.

“I see it in your eyes. You know it’s me,” the guy whispered who I refused to refer to as my teddy bear. Oh how funny it sounded if this guy wasn’t trying to intimidate me which he definitely did.

Trying to push him away again, he caught my hand and brought it close to his chest. I froze at the sudden contact. Although it seemed like a rough action, his hold on my hand was soft while firm. Moving our hands down slowly I could only stare as my hands slipped under his shirt and crept up his soft and toned skin. My heartbeat was so fast I could hear it in my ears until I gasped and all of a sudden it was like my heart froze.

The fingers that were grazing over his chest was tracing a name now, printed on his white skin like a canvas,

Hyesun.

My name. My handwriting.

“I may seem like just a teddy bear back then, but you’re still my all. Even though you had committed the biggest act against love. Abandonment. But don’t worry, I won’t leave you even if you wanted me to,” he said softly and moved our hands so his shirt would rile up more, making my name even more visible. It was like the ink was screaming to me.

No idea how long we’ve stayed there in that position, but I wasn’t the first one to make a move once again. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I simply couldn’t. He was the first to let me go before he whispered softly in my ear.

“I’ll see you soon, Hyesun. Very soon.”

‘These hearts aren’t just ordinary heart, my children. The one you will pick are each special as they hold a heart that shall love you in unconditional ways, above and beyond anything. If you will take care of them, they will take of you.’

“Did you see the posters around town? Seems like the girl lost her teddy bear and is trying to find it back. Poor girl.”

Poor me