After having talked to Changkyun about his distance he did get better. He would play games with Minhyuk and me, sit next to me during meals and would even initiate conversations. Even if it was just to ask about the schedule. 

The days passed with my thoughts constantly jumping around from my work to their health to how I felt about them and how they felt about me. I was constantly second-guessing their actions and my actions. I was often not sure how to react to some things, being afraid that they would get the wrong idea or see more into something than there was. Simply said, I had trouble sleeping. Thus my mood in the mornings was never too good, to say the least. 

"Rough night?" Kihyun asked as I entered the dorm, pushing my shoes off my feet. I nodded tiredly and set down my bags. "I think I slept four hours," I admitted. He shook his head and went into the kitchen. 

I went into Kihyun's room to wake up Minhyuk and Changkyun. They were both half awake, roaming around getting clothes. "Good morning." I mumbled barely understandable and both mumbled a barely distinct good morning back. They were training hard these days because they were soon going to have a come-back. Hyunwoo almost bumped into me as he exited the bathroom, only wearing sweats and his hair still wet. "Good morning." He smiled and I managed to nod at him before looking away quickly. Despite having seen them all topless before it still was shocking just how good looking they were. It's like eating chocolate, it will always taste good even if you've had it three days in a row. 

In the other room Hoseok and Jooheon were getting ready as Hyungwon was still asleep. Typical. 

"Hyungwon, you really need to get up." I said while shaking his leg from the bunk-bed's railing. "I don't want to." He mumbled. "I know, but this was all your choice." I stated before getting down. "Mina." I turned around to him. "Are you ok?" He asked. I snorted kind of and turned to leave the room. 

"Here." Kihyun said while handing me a cup of coffee. "You always know how to make me happy." I smiled as I took the cup. Just what I needed. i sat down on the couch as the boys got ready. 

"I really don't like saying this to women, but you look really tired." Hoseok said as he sat down next to me. I raised an eyebrow. "I mean you're still beautiful..." he flashed a smile, "...but you look beautifully tired." I chuckled. "Smooth, Hoseok, real smooth." 

"No seriously, what's up? It's like you've been drained from your life energy." He patted my back as he spoke and for some reason, I froze. You know that feeling when you don't really touch or have physical contact to people and suddenly someone hugs you and you realize you were missing so much you had become numb? I had the same feeling. But I often hugged Minhyuk and Jooheon so, there was really no basis for me to starved of physical human affection. 

Hoseok pulled his hand back. "Sorry, I.." The feeling had gone. 

"No, do it again." I said, cutting him off. He gently laid his hand back on me and there it was again. Weird. "Mina, what's going on?" He asked. 

"I... I'm not quite sure." 

_________________________

Hyunwoo sat next to me in the car on our way to the company. "Wow, they really are all sleeping." I mumbled. He checked over his shoulder and chuckled. "I think we are all tired." He said. Oh, how true.

"Mina,..." He paused. When he didn't continue I glanced at him. "What?" I asked when he still didn't say anything. 

"About your feelings," He started. Oh boy, here we go. "You don't have to pressure yourself into doing anything." He cleared his throat. "What I mean to say is, you don't have to always assess the situation and look for things that could lead you to like any of us. Just let it all happen without thinking about it, because I think you're thinking too much about what everything means." 

My mouth had dropped as he was talking. 

"I see you calculating things in your head when you interact with us and it makes me worry. You don't have to worry about us thinking about your actions too much because first off we already like you, so it's not like you can prevent that from happening anymore, and second, we know that you'll tell us your feelings when your sure and when you're ready. So just relax, you're loosing too much sleep because of this." 

I knew it was my turn to say something but he had already said everything. He really was a true leader, reading me like a book without having said anything. 

"I...," I paused. What should I even say in this situation? He understood everything. "Thank you, Hyunwoo." 

"Huh, why?" 

"Well, I though I was alone with my thoughts, dealing with it on my own, but you really understand me. So thank you. And thank you for respecting my feelings." 

He smiled and placed his hand on mine (which was on the gear shift), squeezing it lightly. "There's so much you say without knowing." 

"Like?"

He sighed. "Like when Hyungwon hugs you, you genuinely feel at peace because your whole face just relaxes." I glanced at him. Was that true?

"Or how you get tense around Hoseok because you're afraid of letting him in." He tapped the rhythm of the music on my hand. "You tend to make faces while thinking about things, too, which makes it easy to tell what about you are thinking about." He smiled. 

"I do not make faces!" I protested and he laughed. "You do! Your forehead goes all wrinkly when you're thinking about work and when you're thinking about one of us you look like you're staring off into another dimension." 

I huffed. "My forehead isn't wrinkly." 

He chuckled and patted my hand. He had really big hands compared to mine. And they were warm which was really nice since the AC was on pretty high. And they were soft. Like really soft. 

"You think you're just a normal person, but you're not, Mina." He said quietly. "You're very concerened about others feelings, so much to the point you'll suffer to make others happy." 

 

 

 

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HEY 
Sorry for the long pause. 

Uni has started again and am I excited? For my courses and friends YES for studying and homework NO
 

Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter~! I'll try to update more regularly, but no promises uwu

 

<3