= Chapter XI=

Furget me not

I love you, I love you.

I really wanna say it, but I'm just beating my chest.

Why didn't I know? Why couldn't I do it?

Now I want to, but I can't say it.

(You are my love - Kim Yeon Woo)

The dark sky was filled with millions of tiny stars. Only the moon broke the pattern illuminating Hyejin that admired it from where was before hers and Jinki’s kissing spot.

It’s been long since the last time she saw him. The worst thing about missing someone is the disheartening feeling of losing your memories of that person. She feared to forget the way his hair smelled, the shivers of pleasure produced by his fingers on her skin, the texture of his lips against hers, the sound of his laughter…

She barely remembered her father anymore. She only had a couple of pictures of him and the memories of him telling her stories, the sweet velvet like voice of his saying “And the princess kissed the wolf and he turned into a prince.”

Hyejin feared that soon the only thing she would remember from Jinki would be a senseless thing he said or simply his smile when she made him laugh.

She sighed leaning over the wall, her eyes moving from the cars passing by on the big road underneath to the sparkling sky above.

Maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. She was no princess, he was no wolf that turned into a prince.

A sound behind her made Hyejin freeze. A crazy thought crossed her mind in the second that took her to turn around. A thought that was in fact reality.

Jinki was there, with an old Star Wars t-shirt and ripped jeans.

She wanted to scold him like always but more than that she wanted to hold him.

His lips parted into a big smile and all her anger vanished.

“You are back!”

“I can’t leave you. I love you.”

It was amazing how simple words like that could turn the inside of her heart into a party of colors. She couldn't hide it any longer and she didn't want to anymore. He deserved to know, she did try to tell him before.

“I love you Jinki.” she confessed and more urgently begged “Please...please stay!”

He reduced the distance between them and Hyejin searched his eyes for an assurance that this time he came to stay forever.

He smiled again, that mischievous sweet smile of his that always made her feel lost because she had no idea what he was thinking.

She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes, repeating her wish to herself over and over again. If there was any magic in the world, like her father used to say that was, she hoped that all those starts in the sky and the moon could make it come true.

She only wanted him. Was it selfish of her for wanting someone to love her, for someone to be a constant in her life?

Jinki wrapped his arms around her and she knew it. Everything would be alright.

“I waited for so long.” Hyejin mumbled against his chest. There it was the place where she belonged to, her safe house, the home she would go to every night, when she felt lost, when she needed to remember why everything was worthwhile. Finally, she belonged somewhere, she belonged with him.

“You are home.” She would be his safe house too, the place where he could hide from the world or be himself with no lies. Whatever he needed.

Hyejin raised her head to look at him but Jinki wasn't looking at her, his eyes wide open, the light of the moon filling them.

“Jinki?”

His arms around her fell to his sides and Hyejin knew that something was wrong.

She looked back. The stars were still there but the moon had grown immeasurably covering the sky and it didn't seem to want to stop at all.

She didn't know what to think and say and Jinki couldn't take his eyes from the sky, his horrified expression making a cold shiver run down her spine.

“They came to take you.” He said then, not even looking at her.

“Who?” Hyejin bit her lower lip moving her eyes from the moon that seemed to be swallowing stars on her way to conquer the whole sky.

Jinki didn't answer. Instead, white fur started to come out from his skin, filling it. Hyejin gasped horrified knowing that he was transforming into his tiger self. She saw him turn as if he was metamorphosing. His clothes ripped and arms and legs changed into big paws, sharp nails coming from them. The worst part was his face, how his fangs started to grow, coming out from his mouth, how his ears grew, a snot coming out from where his nose was, his eyes losing humanity.

Hyejin covered trying to see Jinki in that creature but she didn't. He seemed different from the tiger she saw before and she realized why when he fully changed. He wasn't a tiger. He was a wolf. Suddenly his white fur turned into gray and he became one of the creatures of her nightmares.

“Jinki?” Hyejin stepped back confused, her back hitting the wall. Jinki - or the creature he become opened the mouth growling at her fiercely and she knew he would attack her, that he would rip her apart if she didn't run away.

Trembling with fear Hyejin gazed at the road down. She could either stay and die or jump to another death.

There was no way out.

“Jinki? You can't do this.”

The creature completely ignored her and Hyejin felt hot tears run down her cheeks.

That was her fault for falling in love with whom she shouldn't.

She didn't follow the rules and now the gods were punishing her. The moon was punishing her.

Before she had time to think about how she wanted to die, Jinki jumped over her, his mouth open, teeth ready to rip her flesh.

Hyejin woke up startled and with a huge headache.

Someone was knocking at the door and thank god for that because she just had the most awful nightmare ever. It was getting worse as if it was a premonition of what would come next.

There was another knock and she got up from the bed realizing that she didn't even take her clothes from the night before off. She went out to drink and completely crashed into her bed as soon as she arrived.

Hyejin opened the door and almost closed it again when she saw Minho, the antithesis of how she looked with his hair perfectly styled and expensive suit.

“Are you alright?” Minho asked pushing the door and entering her house without being invited.

“I'm fine. Why are you here?” Hyejin asked closing the door.

“You missed work.”

“Oh !” She sighed placing her hand on the wall more to support herself than anything. Her head was having a party of it’s own and any movement was especially hard that morning. “I'm so sorry. I drank a lot yesterday. I don't feel well.”

“I can see that.” Minho gently helped her sit and did the same facing her.

“Did you come to scold me? Is that it?”

She wasn't the smartest person the last days. She was doing alright at work like the usual but once she left the palace she would go out to drink or hide inside home as if the world was only made of that three places.

“I should. It's been three months since he left and you are acting as if life lost all meaning. You spend your nights either here or clubbing.”

“Didn't help me find a boyfriend yet. That I can tell you.”

“Is that what you want? A boyfriend?”

Hyejin didn't say anything. She wanted to joke and say something like she still needed to lose her ity. A part of her, the ugly one, wanted to say that and ask if he was interested. However, the original Hyejin controlled the situation and she didn't speak.

“You don't need to go find one.”

He was there always, faithful perfect Minho. Why didn't she love him? It would be so easier if she did.

Minho crouched in front of Hyejin and grabbed her hands in his. For a moment she thought he would ask her to marry him but he didn't get on his knees.

“I know.” Still, she had to stop it before he did, if it was his intention to do so. “I know that you…”

“That I love you?”

“Yes, that...but…”

“You can't be with me. Like you can't be with anyone else until you forget Jinki."

“Right.” Forgetting. She was so scared of it and yet that was the only way to heal her affliction “I'm working on that.”

“Are you? Are you truly trying to forget him?”

She started to tear up as if that was a Pavlov reaction to thinking about Jinki.

“I miss him so much and it hurts. I truly want to forget him.”

However, she kept calling him every night even though he didn't pick up once. She thought about him and fell asleep every night looking at the moon lamp as if that somehow would send him a message to come back. She also stopped by their kissing spot every day. Maybe that was why she just had that weird nightmare.

He disappeared from her life and she didn't even know if he was alright. Not even a glimpse of his cat self too.

“He forgot about me and yet I don't want to forget him. It's pathetic.”

“No, I don't believe that it is pathetic and also I don't believe that he forgot you.”

“Did you talk with him?” Hyejin asked, hope filling her veins like it didn't in a long time.

“No, I didn't. I'm sorry.”

“How do you know then?”

“Aren't you forgetting that he left to protect you? That he stayed beside you all this time because he loved you, that he risked his life for you? Don't doubt his love for you, it's not fair.”

“What can I do then? How do I move on from this?” From the hole he left inside her, a hole she didn't know that existed before he entered her life.

Minho sighed and gave her the only possible answer “By living.”

Hyejin chuckled her eyes moving from Minho to a spot somewhere behind him. She felt lost. Are you able to forget how to breathe? Is it possible? To forget how to make your heart beat? It probably wasn't possible because your body does that for you without you giving it an order. Loving was a lot like that, you don't control it and your body does it for you. Even if she tried really hard to forget what she felt for him she couldn't. It was as if she couldn't live anymore without that new action her heart learned to do for her.

“Or…” Hyejin heard Minho say and she blinked her eyes trying to keep the tears in “You can elope with him.”

Her gaze fell on Minho that stood up from the floor now seeming like a tall tree in front of her.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No.” He took a folded sheet of paper from inside his coat pocket and opened it on the table in front of her.

It had the name and address of several stores and Hyejin frowned wondering how that related to her and her problems.

“When I first met Jinki we were at the palace. He seemed to know a lot about ancient pottery. He also seemed to particularly like a cup of our collection.” Minho seemed excited and that allowed a small spark of hope to grow inside her “Later we talked more and he told me that his family worked with pottery for years, that they sold expensive teaware. After I found out about him being an Earth God he told me that his family would drink tea in the same cups kings did before.”

“So?”

“So, I searched a lot Hyejin and I couldn't find any information about a family of Earth Tiger gods. Nothing comes in books, I had no address no phone number. I almost gave up but then today I was in that same room where we met him for the first time and my eyes fell on that cup and…”

Hyejin’s thoughts ran back to that day, to how she scolded him thinking he was a complete idiot that tried to flirt with her. Back then she had no idea she would fall into the lake with him, that she would kiss him and fall in love. It felt like years passed and she wasn't the same person anymore.

“...So I went back to my office and searched online for companies that manufacture and sell expensive and fine pottery and teaware. One of the companies on that list is Jinki’s family. We get their address, we find a way to find him again.”

“Minho, this is…” She didn't know what to say. He seemed to be serious about it. All that time while she only cried and complained he was actually trying to find a way to help her.

“There are around 40 but only 15 belong to a family with the surname Lee and only 8 are in Seoul.”

“So we check all 8 of them.”

“And we will find him.”

Hyejin’s lips parted into a thankful smile and she stood up and wrapped her arms around Minho’s neck.

“I guess that’s a yes let’s do it.”

She inhaled after what seemed like ages, the air filling her lungs. “Yes, absolutely yes.”

“Jinki?”

Her sweet voice called for him and he raised his eyes from the small package in his hand to her beautiful face.

“Sorry, I was remembering something.”

The beautiful woman on the couch next to him laughed softly. He couldn't taste her emotions so he had to rely on her body language. She touched her long earrings moving her fingers in her blond hair before blinking her pretty eyelashes. She was nervous since she wanted to cause a good impression and she clearly was attracted to him.

“Do you like it that much?” She asked and Jinki’s gaze fell on the package in his hand again.

He moved the chocopie in his hands and smiled remembering a time not so long ago when he kissed Hyejin both squishing a package like that under them.

“It became a special memory.”

She watched him curiously but Jinki didn't explain what he meant instead he gave it back to her. “Thank you for the visit and for the chocopie but you can eat it. “

“I only wanted to bring you something different.” She grabbed the package disappointed that he didn't like her try at being different from the other women that he met before.

“I think it’s sweetness fits you better.” Jinki flirted and she smiled brightly at him nodding, her cheeks a little pinkish.

“Will we see each other soon?”

He knew that her question had a second meaning. He was supposed to make his decision soon and choose someone but he was delaying it and delaying and by now he already met dozens of eligible clan members that he could marry with. She was only one more and even though he smiled at her he wasn't happy. There wasn't any particular one that he liked more and he had to make a choice that day, his father demanded it.

“We will see.” he said enigmatically and she stood up followed by him. Jinki bid her goodbye politely and she left. Her absence made Jinki breathe of relief since he didn't have to pretend anymore and he sat on the couch again.

He was sitting on a vintage couch, surrounded by old paintings and expensive ceramic, one particularly ugly that belonged to the period of King Jeung of Gojoseon that he once broke a little when he was a kid.

He was living in that house for three months now but he still felt as if he didn't belong there, as if there was a mistake and that wasn't his destiny.

A chubby short woman dressed elegantly and yet simply entered the room and placed a tray with teaware that Jinki knew that was extremely expensive and ancient on the table.

“She left already?” Jinki’s mother asked “You didn't like this one either?”

Jinki chuckled because she knew him so well “She has a beautiful smile, and aaah….her hair matches my fur.” he chuckled grabbing the cup of tea.

His mother didn't smile watching him and he knew what she was thinking even though she didn't put it down in words, even though he couldn't taste her emotions. She knew the truth, she knew he was bleeding inside, that he missed his old life and above all that he missed the human woman he left behind.

He didn't tell his family about her of course, it was too dangerous. But Taemin told his mom about a woman Jinki met when he lived as a human, a woman with whom he had a deep connection. Jinki’s mother thought that it was only an infatuation and that with time it would go away but it didn't. Several beautiful and interesting women from the clan passed three months flirting with him and yet nothing changed. Jinki ‘s eyes seemed as dull as they were on the day he came back home. After they celebrated his return, after all hugs and words were exchanged he turned into that colourless person.

“She truly likes you. She used to ask about you all the time every time we had a party.”

Jinki blew on his tea “She is the daughter of Mr. Han right?”

“Yes, your father is very close to him.” She grabbed the other cup of tea and Jinki smiled remembering how Minho had a picture of a similar tea set like that in his office. He would go crazy if he ever drank tea in one and yet for Jinki that was only a cup. Hyejin was like that too. For his family, she would be just a normal cup and yet for him, she was a treasure, something much more important than a mean to get to drink your tea or blood.

“What are you thinking?” his mother asked.

“Hum…”

She knew he wouldn't give her a clear answer “Don't forget that you need to go to the Shaman today for your blood tests.”

Marrying someone at that point wasn't entirely necessary. The truth was that he could simply go and mark a woman and still do the initiation. However, his father wanted to show him to the clan as his successor, a strong one that wanted to settle down and have powerful cubs. For that, he needed to find the best blood to pair with his and that's where the shaman entered. He collected the blood of all women Jinki met and with his he would run tests to see the compatibility, which mix would produce the best heirs, the strongest cubs.

The night before he joked with Taemin that he could simply leave his there and run away because it seemed that his father was way more interested in prove that he was capable of having a good lineage than of leading the clan after he withdraws.

“I hope she is a good match. She is a good girl. Kim Eun Ju still seems like the best one but she was cold when you met her.”

“She doesn't like me and the idea of mating.” Jinki chuckled remembering the second brunette women he met that spent all the time telling him about horror movies she watched instead of flirting with him like the others. He liked her because she wasn't interested in a connection with him. Unfortunately or fortunately she was until now the one who matched best with him. “I think that the fact we both hate it makes us match well.”

“Don't joke with that. I'm worried.” his mother said “Your father wants to do the initiation ritual this week and you must choose her tonight. There are preparations to be made, you know that, before you can mate.”

“Mate, we are like animals.”

“We are animals. A part of us is and we can't ignore it and pretend that it isn't in our blood.”

“Alright.” Jinki leaned forward on the couch. “I'll go with Kim Eun Ju.”

His mother caressed his arm relieved. “Go, give another sample of blood so we can show it to the elders. I'm going to call her parents and tell your father. Later we can have dinner together and give them our decision.”

“Mom…” He grabbed her hand and for a few seconds she saw a little scared boy in Jinki, the one that would ask her the reason why his fur was different, questions that she couldn't answer “Do you love father?”

It should be an easy question and yet she didn't answer immediately “I wasn't sure when we met. He was charming and gentle and we matched, so when he marked me I was happy. I ended up falling for him and I am sure that you will fall for the one you chose too.”

Often love came with time inside the clan even though there were several cases of relationships that started with love, of tigers marking others regardless of how much they matched, only following their hearts over blood harmony.

“Before loving my father did you love someone else?”

“No.”

“That's where we are different. These cups represent us before the marking” Jinki served the tea, pouring more into his cup filling it to the top and placed it next to hers that was now empty. My cup is completely filled right now and I can't pour anything else inside it or it will overflow. If I fill it with other tea then it will compromise what is inside already. I won't be able to drink it without leaking some and maybe even burning my hands grabbing the cup.”

Jinki stood up and stretched his arms in front of his mother that looked at the cups without knowing what to say.

“I'm going to take my blood now.”

“These are the Pumgyeseok. As you can see they are engraved stones that are dispersed around the open plaza. When there was a meeting the scholars would be organized by ranks according to these.“ Hyejin explained in English to the small group of ten tourists in front of her. “You can explore the plaza for a while and take some pictures and my colleague Mr. Song will show you the lotus garden next. Thank you.”

Hyejin walked away from the plaza focused on what she had to do next. She needed to find Minho so that they could discuss what was the next step in their plan to find Jinki.

A handsome man with ash blonde hair stepped in front of her holding one of the flyers they would give to the tourists at the entrance. She smiled at him recognizing him from the group that she just guided. He smiled beautifully back, a row of perfect white teeth. His eyes were hidden with sunglasses but Hyejin could feel his gaze on her during the whole time she was working. Was he interested in her?

The man took off his glasses and she gasped noticing that he had one eye brown and the other blue. Even though he had an appearance of a foreigner, he was for sure Korean.

“I enjoyed your guidance very much.” The man said in Korean with a soft warm voice “I wanted to thank you for it.”

Hyejin couldn't take her eyes away from his. He looked like an idol and somehow she couldn't shake away the feeling that she met him before.

“Unfortunately my English isn't the best.” He chuckled acting embarrassed “I'm Korean you see, but I really wanted to know more about the palace.”

“We have tours in Korean.”

“But you were not the guide for those.”

“No, I wasn't.” Hyejin felt her cheeks get hot realizing what that meant.

“I'm sorry if I'm being too…” He hummed thinking, furrowing his brow and he looked adorable just like a puppy “Direct, I needed to find the right word.” He released another melodious chuckle. “Words are really important to me. I'm a lyricist.”

“Oh, Are you famous?”

He rubbed his neck “I don't know about that.”

Hyejin noticed Minho behind the man in front of her and quickly bowed to him.”I'm sorry I have to go. I'm glad you liked the tour.”

She quickly walked to Minho and only realized that the stranger didn't tell her his name once she was in front of Minho. The puppy-like man was back to the group, wearing his sunglasses and yet looking in her direction.

Minho guided Hyejin away from there and they both sat on the bench in front of Hyejin’s favorite tree.

Minho unfolded the paper with the name of the pottery related stores and struck two names.

“I went to this one also and asked the store clerk about the owner. It is a small family. The owner has only two daughters.” Hyejin said and Minho struck that also.

“Good we only have five left and we will find Jinki’s family.”

“You mean, the Tiger Earth God family?” Mr. Kim, the gardener asked, as always showing up behind people without them expecting.

“You know about his family?” Minho asked. He did know who Jinki was so maybe he also had more information that could help.

The man placed both hands on top of his broom holding it like that “Well I never met them personally but I do know someone from the clan.”

Hyejin stood up immediately “For god's sake why didn't you say so before?”

Minho chuckled and the gardener placed the broom on the ground and then sat between her and Minho pulling Hyejin down next to him.

“It's a long story but it has a reward at the end. Do you want to hear it?” He looked from Minho to Hyejin as if they were his grandkids to whom he was going to tell a fairytale before bed.

“I need to go back to work in 20 minutes. I have a meeting and…”

“Screw the meeting.” Minho said to Hyejin “It's alright. I'll cover for you.” He nodded his head excited “Yes we want to hear your story.”

The story was indeed long but Hyejin and Minho listened to it one a little more eager to get to the end than the other. The old gardener told them about how he was once almost attacked by an Earth God that belonged to the wolf clan and how a Tiger saved him when he was hiking in Bukhansan Mountain. After the tiger got hurt he nurtured him to health and then he found out that he was human. They became friends after that, meeting once in a while during the next years. The Tiger God eventually became a shaman of his clan and responsible for giving guidance, interpret the old testimonies left by the first Earth Gods and take care of the spiritual magic side of the clan.

“And you know where this man lives?” Hyejin asked as soon as the man seemed to finish his story.

“Yes, he lives in a property that belongs to the chief of the clan.”

“Perfect!” Hyejin clapped happily. “Can you give me the address?”

“No.” Hyejin’s smile faded immediately and even Minho stared at the old man incredulous “He would never open his door for you or tell you where the man you want to meet lives.”

Hyejin released a desperate cry, her shoulders sinking down.

“But he will open it for me,” Mr. Kim said “So I am going to take you two there. I only need to change my clothes.”

Minho stood up and bowed thankful to the old man while Hyejin watched the scene with no reaction.

“Hyejin?” He asked confused with her lack of reaction.

“I'm going to see Jinki very soon.”

“Yes, Today! You truly are!”

It felt surreal after three months jumping from feeling to feeling, desiring to meet him again to wanting to forget him. She didn't know what to feel now that it was coming true.

“What if he is married already and became the chief?” She bit her lower lip remembering how Taemin told her about the initial ritual.

“Then you tried. No regrets.”

“No regrets!” Minho was right. He offered her his hand to help her up and she accepted it with a smile.

Jinki watched the old man prepare the syringe and tried to relax. He still had a small fear of needles from when he was a kid even though he draw more blood those last months than he did his whole life.

The Shaman turned to him and Jinki smiled once again because he was wearing a funny sweater with a Lama saying “No Prob Llama”. He would never use that in the public events they had but Jinki preferred this side of the Shaman to the serious one wearing a hanbok or a suit.

The man adjusted the tourniquet in Jinki’s arm and he faced the other side avoiding looking at the needle, fixing his gaze in a vase with fresh myosotis from the man’s garden.

“So Taemin came to talk with me.” The old man said just when the needle entered Jinki’s skin. He knew that his brother often went to talk with the Shaman. He had several roles inside the clan and being a kind of counselor and therapist was one. Actually, he was a therapist before he dedicated his life to the clan. “He told me that you were attacked, which I already knew, but he also told me that you were saved by the blood of a human.”

Jinki swallowed hard and dared to look at the red liquid entering the syringe. “I wasn't saved by her. She only gave me some blood.”

“That helped you recover tremendously since you were attacked by the God’s hounds. That often leads to death even when you have all the blood in the world.” The man took the needle out and pressed a small cotton ball against the wound.

Jinki opened and closed his fist “She is a stubborn woman, her blood must be strong.”

“And also she is in love with you.” Jinki blushed and the shaman turned around and dropped the blood inside a small test tube. “And you are in love with her.”

Jinki didn't even try to deny it. “Did Taemin tell you that?”

“No need.” The old man sighed and rubbed his fair beard “I never had a soon to be chief that took such a long time choosing a woman to mark.”

“I'm picky.” Jinki pressed the cotton ball against his wound.

“Did you mark her?” The shaman sat in front of Jinki on his desk and Jinki turned his chair so that he could face him.

“I didn't. I swear.”

“Hum…” The old man frowned in thought, more wrinkles joining the ones he already had in the corner of his eyes “So it makes no sense that such a small amount of blood would help your body get rid of the poison like that.”

“We have feelings for each other. It's supposedly stronger then, right?”

“Yes, I guess it must be that.” He didn't seem that convinced though but Jinki didn't push that subject further. The less they talked about it, better. His father didn't know the whole story yet. However, there was something that worried him.

“There won't be any consequences for her because I feed from her? Will she be alright?”

The Shaman smiled and gave Jinki a small Poporo band-aid which made the younger man smile with how cute it looked.

“You really care for her.”

Jinki took out the cotton bud, applied the band-aid and pulled the sleeve of his shirt down his arm.”I do. Does that make me unfit to lead the clan?”

If it was his father he would say yes without thinking twice but the shaman answered differently “No, not at all.”

The old man’s laughter filled the room and Jinki pondered what his father often said about the man being slightly crazy.

“I'm not your father that thinks that he needs to follow what the old idiots of the council want.”

It was Jinki’s time to laugh, not only because of what he said but also because he was the oldest one of the clan and all members of the council.

“I also believe that the majority of this clan no longer thinks that our blood must be kept pure. In the story of the Gods the best ones, the ones from the folktales we tell our cubs are the ones that usually sacrifice themselves for humanity not only for their clan.” Jinki nodded. That was all true. “And to be honest, and you can't tell this to anyone...”

“I won't,” Jinki said gravely. He was always good at keeping secrets, besides he liked the old Shaman a lot, ever since he was a kid. He admired how he would come to his house when someone was sick wearing his white uniform and with an old bag where he carried so many curious things and cute kid’s band-aids. Maybe he was the reason he wanted to become a doctor, because he could do magic through science, like humans did, so different from the ones of the Gods, the same ones that looked at him as if he was weird just because of his fur.

“My favorite part of myself isn't the godly one, nor my powers, it's the one I have inside me here.” He touched his chest over his heart “The human one and its flaws and virtues.”

Jinki smiled knowing what he meant. He once told him when he was little when he was still only the Shaman apprentice, something very similar. That Jinki had more power inside his heart than any of the other cubs did even with perfect Tiger fur.

“Thank you.”

“I didn't do anything. I even pricked your arm and stole your blood.”

Jinki chuckled. “I never told sunbaenim but I wanted to be like you when I was a kid. I always felt guilty towards my father because I didn't want to grow up to be like him.”

“I am honored and you would be perfect as my apprentice.” Jinki chuckled finding the idea amusing.

“My father wouldn't like it.”

“Actually, you are already like him”

The comment caught Jinki by surprise. He was so different from the man he called father. They were like night and day and their perspectives about life and their role in the clan were completely opposed.

“Your father lives to protect his family above all, even the clan.“ Jinki was going to speak but the Shaman was faster “I know you don't see it like that but he does. He is the kind that sacrifices his own happiness for the ones he loves. Doesn't that seem familiar to you?”

Jinki swallowed hard “But as a member of the clan I fail in his eyes. My fur…”

“Ah pff…” The Shaman scoffed at his words “Your fur is white? So what?” The rest of the clan didn't seem to see it that lightly as him “Ever since the day I laid my eyes on your tiger form I saw it more as a good sign than a bad one. White represents pureness and rebirth. It’s like winter and snow cleaning to give way for rebirth. That's how I see it. It’s a sign of a new era for our clan.”

Jinki couldn't believe what he was hearing. No one ever saw it like that.

“But in the old scripts, they talk about it as a curse.”

“Scripts and books are written by people Jinki. People that died a long time ago and wrote what they wanted many times without any proof of it being true. Therefore just because someone wrote it, it doesn't mean that it's the truth. Personally, I have high hopes for you. You can give this clan a better future, just what we need. The clan is dying Jinki. Your father and the elders believe that it's because our blood is losing purity. I believe it is because we forgot the real reason why the gods created us. You can change that but I must warn you, many will be against you, even the ones close. Changes are hard to accept, the unknown is scarier than anything we know. So be careful.”

“Thank you for your advice.” He had no idea he would be able to do all that but he was going to do his best.

“You are welcome.”

Jinki stood up from the chair and got ready to leave.

“I will tell you when the blood report is done. Is your choice made? Miss Kim Eun Ju?”

“She is the most compatible with me and I can't keep stalling and drawing out blood.” Jinki chuckled “I lost liters to find my soulmate.”

Jinki turned and walked to the door.

“You found her already and you didn't have to draw any blood at all.”

His hand hesitated on the door. Did he mean what he thought he did? Hyejin…

Jinki turned around but the Shaman didn't look at him acting as if he said nothing.

“Your parents must be waiting for you no? You need to get ready to meet your future parents in law.”

“Right.”

“I have some special visitors coming in also. I need to prepare some tea.”

Hyejin was in front of a beautiful traditional korean house. It was surrounded by a wall of orange and white bricks aligned perfectly and it certainly went through renovations. The main door was of a bright yellow.

Mr. Kim passed by her and called her and Minho.”Follow my lead.”

They barely had given a few steps when the gate opened as if it was controlled by magic and a young woman stepped outside wearing a simple white dress and an apron over it.

She smiled softly as if she was waiting for visits and Mr. Kim blinked at Hyejin. “He is peculiar so don't be scared.”

Did that mean that he knew that they would come?

The maid bowed in greeting and Mr. Kim exchanged some words with her requesting to see her master.

Minho that was behind Hyejin leaned forward and whispered in her ear “This is so exciting. I can't wait to see the interior of the Hanok. Imagine all the artifacts he must have.”

Hyejin couldn't care less about artifacts, her attention was only focused on finding Jinki.

“Can you please follow me?” The maid said stepping away so they could enter the gate and the group followed her into a courtyard. While Minho sighed admired with the architecture and Mr. Kim waited patiently for them to be allowed to enter the room where her master was, Hyejin's gaze fell into a flower pot with blue flowers. It was almost hidden in the corner of the house as if it wasn't intended to be found easily and she found herself walking to it.

Hyejin knew them, her father used to tell her a story about a beautiful lady that said goodbye to a knight she loved before he went to war. When he came back, years after when everyone thought he was dead already he thought that everyone had forgotten him and that the woman he loved had moved on. However, she showed up at the door of her house with a bouquet of myosotis in her hands. That's when he knew that she never forgot him and waited for him. That blue flower is also commonly called forget-me-not.

Her fascination with that flower came a long way and Hyejin couldn't take her eyes from it.

The maid came back then and invited them to enter the guest room where her master was waiting.

Hyejin used that moment to pick up a flower before she left. It was such a small flower that she was sure no one would scold her, however on her haste to do so her hand brushed against the spiky edges of the flower pot and she cut her finger.

She quickly raised her hand and struggled to hide it. Thankfully Minho took his tissue from his coat and like a gentleman wrapped it around her wound.

“What were you doing?” He asked in a whisper peeking at Mr. Kim that was now taking his shoes to step on the wooden floor that surrounded the house.

“I wanted to pick up a flower.” She showed him the tiny blue flower.

“Why?”

Hyejin struggled to answer that. She had no idea why she picked it up she only knew deep down that she needed it not the reason why.

They followed the maid into the room and she left after bowing.

A very old man wearing a t-shirt with a Llama was kneeling over a pillow, a small table was in front of him and he was serving tea the traditional way. Minho gasped delighted with everything and the three of them kneeled over the pillows on the other side of the table.

The two old men greeted each other enthusiastically and after a brief conversation, Mr. Kim cleared his throat ready to explain the reason that brought them there.

“I didn't come to visit only.”

“It's a pity but I don't think these two young people came with you for no reason. Tell me.”

“Actually Miss Hyejin is searching for someone, someone from your clan.”

“Hum,” The old man finished serving the tea and offered the cup to Hyejin that thanked him. “I had a feeling I would know someone interesting today. I asked the maid to be on watch and I started making this very special tea.”

His words made Hyejin stare at the warm water worried.

The man laughed as if he just said a joke “Don't worry. It's normal tea, no magic involved, at least not artificial magic.”

She had no idea what he meant of artificial magic but he insisted with her to drink it and Hyejin did it out of respect. “How is it?”

She smiled softly. The taste was soft but interesting, not too bitter and pleasant. “I like it.”

“Good!” The man seemed so happy as if she gave him a gift. His eyes fell on her hands and he reached out for it, “Can I?” he asked before grabbing her injured hand.

Hyejin watched him unwrap it.

“I got myself cut outside and Minho ssi…” Hyejin looked in his direction “Covered the wound with his tissue.”

“I see.” The man looked at the wound and Hyejin bit her lower lip. It was still bleeding which was weird. It was such a small cut, it didn't even hurt.”

“How did you make this?”

Her gaze met his and Hyejin knew she couldn't lie. He would see right through it. With a bit of fear, she started speaking. He wouldn't punish her for stealing one flower right?”

“I saw the beautiful myosotis outside and picked up one and got cut on the pot. I'm so sorry if I offended you. It was just a mistake.”

“Oh, it was no mistake at all. You see, like there are Animal like Gods there are also Plant like Gods.”

She widened her eyes. Now he was telling her that there were half humans half plants walking around.

He chuckled noticing her confusion. “They aren't half human like us, no. But they are plants with a will of their own and they can sometimes influence humans to do things.”

“So...that plant it…”

“It cut you.”

“Why?”

“I have no idea.” That was insane even for Hyejin that has learned that the world isn't as simple as she thought. “But there must be a reason like there must be one for you to arrive ten minutes after he left.”

“Who left?” Minho asked but the man didn't answer. He was acting as if Hyejin was the only person in the room. He leaned over the small table and closed his eyes smelling the blood of her wound.

Hyejin tried to take her hand away scared and he released it but he kept the tissue folding it meticulously as if it was a treasure.

“I'm sorry if I scared you. I was only checking your blood.” The man grabbed his tea and gestured for his guests to do the same.

“What about her blood?” Minho asked glancing at Hyejin that was now staring at her wound confused.

“Smells very ordinary.” The old man said drinking his tea but he made no gesture to give the tissue back and Minho frowned.

“When you mentioned someone that left recently you meant Lee Jinki didn't you?” Hyejin asked “You know that we are searching for him. You can taste my feelings too.”

“Of course. I would fail as one of my kind if I couldn't. I spend so much time with Earth Gods that I get frustrated. I hire humans just so that I can taste their feelings. They are way more interesting.”

Hyejin placed her cup of tea on the table “Then let's end with this silly games. Can you tell me where he is or not?”

“Depends. Will you give me a little of your blood?”

“What?! Why? You said just now that it was ordinary. Are you thirsty?”

“No, not really but I love studying blood and yours is special in a way.”

“Special in…?” Minho asked interest but Hyejin groaned tired of that fantasy movie she was living.

“Will you give me the address or not?!”

The shaman laughed “I see why he likes you.”

Hyejin wasn't finding the whole situation that funny and was going to say it in a very unappropriated way when Minho and Mr. Kim stopped her.

“Why do you need her blood?”

“We run tests of blood to see its strength. I'm curious about the reason it helped Lee Jinki when he was hurt.”

“Testing her blood will help Jinki in any way?” Minho asked.

“Why would he need our help?” Hyejin asked almost fuming.

Minho leaned closer to her and explained in a low voice “He probably got in trouble explaining how he got hurt. Also, we want this old man to cooperate with us.”

“Yes, you do.” The shaman said hearing all that they were saying “You give me a drop of your blood and I’ll give you an address.”

Hyejin groaned but stretched her arm in front of the man. He quickly got up and called his maid. Soon she came back holding a swab and the man rubbed it on her blood with a satisfied smile.

“You won't regret this, trust me.”

“Can I have my tissue now?” Minho asked and the man gave it back with a smile praising his taste Hyejin stared at them incredulous.

“The address!” She insisted.

“Sure. Down the street you will find a house with a big blue roof.”

“Really? All this time he was just down the street?” What a waste of time. She stood up but none of the men did because the Shaman spoke again.

“Who are you?” He asked Minho directly and he blinked his eyes confused. They were sitting together for a long time now.

“Choi Minho. I introduced myself when I entered.”

“No, in this story, to the lady.”

“He is my friend.” Hyejin explained crossing her arms over her chest, being the rudest she could frowning at how Mr. Kim was still drinking his tea. They got what they wanted, what were they doing still there?!

“No, he isn't. He loves you so I don't understand how he fits in this story.” The man rubbed his chin and Hyejin bit her lower lip. Of course, he knew he loved her, he could taste Minho’s feelings also.

“I'm only a friend.” Minho insisted “I only came to help.”

“You are also very interesting.” The man said sniffing Minho this time.

“I am?” Minho was excited “Am I special too?”

“Yes, the part of humanity Lee Jinki wants to protect.”

“What does that mean?” Minho asked but Hyejin pulled him by one arm making him stand beside her. They had no time for that.

“Just that you are noble and have a good heart. Don't worry it will learn to love again.”

Minho tried to ask more but Hyejin pushed him to the door. She was almost out when she turned back to call for Mr. Kim that didn't move an inch.

“He is going to wait here. We have a lot to catch up.” The shaman said with a smile “besides you won't take long coming back.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hyejin asked.

“At the corner of the street you entered to come here is a big restaurant that belongs to one member of our clan. Jinki is there right now meeting his fiance’s family to settle the ceremony that will serve as his initiation and wedding.”

Hyejin’s heart fell at her feet and she became pale.

“I thought I…” She did fear that but she didn't think about what to do in that situation.

“You can still stop it.” Minho said gently from behind her “Let's go now.”

Stop it? How? How could she enter a restaurant and scream in front of everyone that she loved him? His father seemed like someone that hated humans. They might kill her or worse Jinki might reject her. No, she couldn't do it. That was game over.

“I matched her blood with his. She is a good match.” The old man continued his eyes focused in Hyejin as if he was challenging her to do something. “You don't belong here.”

That comment irritated her profoundly “You should have said it from the start. Why did you serve us a stupid tea and made me believe that I had a chance?”

“Your hand is not bleeding anymore.” he observed instead completely unaffected with her rudeness.

Hyejin stared at it and his words from before rang in her head. There was a reason for it.

“Are you stalling me so I won't arrive on time?” She asked wondering if that was the reason.

“So you intend to stop it?”

“Yes, I do!”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Hyejin groaned frustrated and left through the door with Minho running after her.

“That was fun. I see that you didn't change a bit.” Mr.Kim said chuckling.

“Young people amuse me.” The shaman grabbed the swab and looked at the beautiful red spot in it.

“Why do you need that for?”

“I'm not sure yet but I think that that damned plant outside wanted me to collect it. Can you accompany me to my study? I need to observe it before they come back.”

“Sure. We have so much to talk about.”

“Can you see him?” Hyejin asked, both her and Minho pressed against the window peeking inside the restaurant through a small gap in the curtains.

“Just a second.” Minho gently pushed her away so that he could have a better view. “Oh, I see him. He is at the table in the corner.”

He stepped away so that she could peek too and Hyejin pressed her face against the window fixing her gaze on the long table where two older couples were. Jinki was there too and in front of him was a beautiful young lady with black hair caught up with a beautiful ancient looking hairpin. She said something and Jinki smiled at her.

“He is smiling.” Hyejin mumbled pushing herself away from the window and Minho peeked on her place.

“Politely.”

“It doesn't matter.” Hyejin whined “How do I even know if he doesn't want this? It has been three months, he probably forgot about me, he probably adapted to his life here and wants to marry her.”

“Well there is only one way to find out, we can ask him.”

“I'm not going to ask him. It's insane. I can't enter the restaurant, interrupt their dinner and ask Jinki if he has feelings for me.”

Minho wanted to comfort her but had no idea what to say, she had a point there.

“This is it. I became the monster in his story. I'm the one who doesn't belong here.”

“That's ridiculous. You are not a monster and…” Minho didn't finish his gaze moving back to the window “And I think you won't need to enter to speak with him after all.”

“Why?”

“He just got up from his seat.”

“He is probably going to the bathroom.” Hyejin said rubbing her arm her eyes darting to the path back to the front of the restaurant. If anyone found them there they would find it strange and they might get in trouble.

“No. He looked this way. He probably smelled us. I wonder how much can their sense of smell cover?! The window is open so...”

“He what?” Hyejin was more worried about the fact that she was going to see Jinki than with his smelling abilities. She bit her lower lip and walked around in circles confused making Minho chuckle. She was adorable.

“Do I look alright?" Hyejin asked checking her outfit. She was wearing a simple blue dress with pink small flowers. It seemed like a good outfit to wear on her first encounter with Jinki after a long time but after seeing his fiance and how he looked handsome in a suit she wasn't sure anymore.

“I think you look wonderful.”

“I'm not sure I'm ready for this.” Hyejin mumbled nervously “What should I tell him?”

“Well…” Minho’s eyes moved to something behind her and Hyejin didn't have to turn around because she knew they weren't alone anymore.

“Hyejin?” She turned around and her heart almost combusted at the sight of him. Seeing him a few steps away was different from seeing him through the glass of a window. “God, what are you two doing here?” Jinki raised his eyes to Minho frowning, probably judging him for allowing her to come there searching for him.

“We apparently have a friend in common. “Minho explained “And he guided us here.”

“A friend in common?”

“It's a long story but Mr. Kim, the gardener, knows the Shaman of your clan. I never met a Shaman before, it was interesting.” Minho trailed off but Jinki wasn't paying attention any longer and was instead looking at Hyejin that was motionless staring back at him.

“I'll be waiting by the road.” Minho walked away and Hyejin watched him walk to the side of the restaurant pretending to be interesting in the trees around.

“You shouldn't have come.” He remarked before seeing the wound on her hand. He picked it up noticing how her heart started to beat faster with that gesture. Her emotions were overflowing too and he savored them as if he was hungry for a long time. “You are hurt.”

“This is nothing.”

“You shouldn't walk around here bleeding.“ Like Minho, he took a tissue from his coat pocket and wrapped it gently around her hand even though it wasn't bleeding anymore. She watched his every move wanting desperately to hug or kiss him but she didn't dare to yet.

“You should have stayed with Minho.”

She ignored him “I heard about the wedding.”

“Oh…” His ears were red so she knew he was embarrassed about that. “Look, Hyejin…” He was going to release her hand but she didn't let him, holding it against hers.

“I get it. You moved on like it was expected of you. I only wanted to come and say goodbye.” She was lying and she was sure he knew “I don't want you do feel like I did when you left without telling me.”

He looked at her sadly, his shoulders sinking in “I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I want to kick you but I don't think I can.” He smiled weakly “I don't even know what to say to you.” Her eyes drifted to the side of the restaurant and Jinki followed her gaze. They could see Minho walking around avoiding looking at them but acting as if he was keeping watch and keeping them safe. “He is great and these last months he was the best of friends but that's it. He isn't you.”

Jinki released himself from her hold and stared at her feeling guilt.

“Do you love the girl you are marrying with?”

“She is nice.”

“That's not what I asked.”

“Hyejin please.” he seemed to be in pain just as much as her and glanced at her agonizing when she grabbed his arm.

“Say it to me again, what you used to tell me before many times and I like a fool ignored it.”

He knew what she meant and even though he wanted to walk away and put an end to that he couldn't, not when he could taste her feelings that were delicious, not when he wanted so badly to look at her and touch her.

“It will only bring pain to both of us.” It was pointless, he wasn't going back on his decision.

“Then I will say it!” Love was being transpired from each of her pores and before she had time to say anything Jinki grabbed her by her arms surprising her with the strength of his grip. It didn't hurt but it was as if he didn't plan to let her go ever.

“Don't! Don't say it!” He looked at her with so much longing and suffering that Hyejin feared that coming to see him was only giving him pain more than anything “I won't be able to go on with this if you say it. I will lose all my determination.”

Tears started to fill her eyes and he loosened the grip on her arms “You love me.”

Jinki closed his eyes briefly and sighed relieved that she didn't say it. He wouldn't be able to take it.

“I don't have to say it right?” She added, “you can taste it can't you?”

He could and his face contorted in pain because there was nothing as delicious as that and he knew he would have to say goodbye to it again.

“I can't do this.” He looked at the ground taking a deep breath. His eyes fell on her hand and how his tissue was now stained with blood. “Your wound is bleeding again.”

She looked at it seeming surprised and Jinki frowned wondering what she was thinking. He couldn't understand what she was feeling anymore, it was all mixed up like it was in his heart.

“He said it had a reason…” She mumbled and Jinki pushed her against the wall of the restaurant making Hyejin gasp. For a second she thought he would drink her blood because he pulled her hand up to his face but instead he unwrapped it and spoke to her softly.

“You can't come here and bleed. It's dangerous. We are monsters Hyejin, you don't belong here. If right now I was someone else from my clan, I might have bitten you. There are more like me here.” Even though his words were scary, she didn't even flinch when he gently her wound, passion filling his eyes that weren't moving from hers. She started to melt under his touch and gaze and it wasn't because he was injecting her with anything, he didn't even bit her, it was because both were desperately attracted to each other and in love, and were now so close that they craved for more intimacy.

“You are wrong. You are not like them because no one is like you.”

Her words ignited him and for a moment he let himself forget about what his duties were. He wanted her and no one else. He knew that if he only had her it would be enough for him. It was insane.

“Do you have time?” Hyejin asked intertwining her fingers of her wounded hand with his. “Tonight? Sleep with me. Our last night.”

He parted his lips inches from hers and he almost let himself fall into the abyss that their love was but he couldn't, he couldn't hurt her again.

“No. You will want more and you know that. “ He would also want more.

“You have a big ego.” She said playfully pushing him slightly and Jinki chuckled leaning his head against hers.

They were so close and he couldn't think or feel anything else around him beside her. “I want to kiss you.” he confessed in the middle of a painful sigh.

She didn't answer, instead, she joined his lips with his. Both closed their eyes kissing softly and after that, he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her to him kissing her more fiercely. Hyejin answered to the kiss and caressed the skin of his neck softly. It was intense and she could feel that magic inside her once again. She was sure he was exploding with feelings and energy as much as she was. If they were the characters of a fairytale she was sure fireworks would be exploding over their heads. However, they weren't and Jinki released her and pulled himself away from her.

“Go home.” he begged touching his lips “Be healthy, be happy, be human, away from all this.”

Hyejin felt her eyes get wet with tears again and she tried to grab his hand but he stepped back.

“It hurts. It hurts so much I hate you.” She was lying, he could taste it, that was no hate.

“I hate that you know that I don't hate you. Why can you know exactly what I feel and I can't know what you feel? It's not fair!”

At first, he couldn't recognize the taste of love. It was different from the one he tasted in other people maybe because it was targeted at him. It was also different from the one between members of a family the one he was used to tasting when he worked at the hospital, between mothers and babies.

Pure love was very delicious and powerful and that energy that only her kisses could give him was different from anything else he ever experienced.

Hyejin pursed her lips and cleaned her wet cheeks knowing exactly how that would end up.

“Hate me.” Jinki asked “Once again I brought you the only kind of love you know, the one that hurts. I wanted to give you more but I failed and I'm sorry. So hate me and try to find it with someone else. Minho is a good guy.” She scoffed at the suggestion “Give him another chance. He likes you and you can learn to love him too.”

“Will you learn to love your fiance too?”

He was thankful that she couldn't read his emotions. His glass was full already but…

“I will.” Sometimes lying is the only option left.

Jinki quickly stepped closer and kissed her lips in what would be their last kiss, it had to be. He then walked away as fast as he could and passed by Minho that barely had time to turn to see him go.

A muffled cry made Minho turn back and he saw Hyejin cover her face crying.

He worked so hard to make them meet and he never thought it would end up like that again.

Maybe their love story was meant to be full of goodbyes and that was definitely the last one.

Thank you for reading.