angst

"I'm not worried about you." 

It was a lie. A blatant lie but he could not admit how his heart was breaking into millions and trillions of pieces hearing Youngjae's voice sound so normal through the speaker of his phone. Normal, as if everything was okay, as if nothing ever happened, as if they never happened.

Them, kissing behind locked doors, holding hands as they lay awake at 3 am to talk about how afraid they truly were.

They knew, once they left their company they would not be able to continue this, dreams and plans shared under the moonlight, sleeping into mornings after kissing until midnight, missing each other during days they didn't have to work.

All they truly had was time.

There was no intention of love.

No intention of caring about the other more than they did before but Daehyun couldn't help it. Falling for Youngjae came as easily as closing his eyes to dream. His heart skipped beats with the way Youngjae looked at him through his lashes, eyes tired after a long day at the studio or a pre-recording schedule. How Youngjae spoke through his pout at 6 am when his words didn't really fit all that well together yet.

They kissed because they were lonely.

And Daehyun can't remember the day he stopped feeling that bittersweet loneliness because all there was to think about was Youngjae. 

Youngjae with his sweet voice and gentle words, soft hands that left stinging handprints on Daehyun's upper arm when he was laughing so hard, eyes small and nose scrunched up. That cute little nose. Loud laughter leaving Youngjae's lips, those cherry bitten lips, like glazed over candy, Daehyun noticed whenever they kissed. 

It was most likely lip balm, sometimes lip gloss from their stylists, but it was always cherry. Daehyun thought Youngjae did it on purpose.

There was no need for loneliness anymore because Youngjae had filled that empty space in his heart for some time now.

Daehyun didn't tell Youngjae. He never ask