The words rang in my head like a neverending phone call.

'Guess you were just not good enough!'

Man was that girl annoying.

She was one of those girls who confessed to Myungsoo and got rejected. 

After that she never relieved me from her presence and constant tauntings.

Now with this situation underway, she loved it.

How she knew, I don't know.

But maybe she was more clever than I thought.

And I was the stupid one. 

Not surprising honestly.

I hate her. 

It took a second before I realized what I had just mentally thought — something that I was sure that had wanted to slip out ever since that happened. 

I bit my lip and sipped my orange juice in complete seriousness. 

I didn't want this.

I didn't want this at all.

I just innocently liked him and look what happened now.

No matter what I knew that I was in a mess. 

Even if he was "taken", I still had that slightest glimmer of hope.

Something that I wanted so much to disappear never did, because deep in my heart he was still my crush. 

I still liked him.

I don't know what's worse.

Not having a friend of him and having a crush on him.

Or having him as a (really) good friend and having a crush on him.

Rationally thinking, I would say that both of them have their difficulties, but right now I'm not even caring about being rational. 

Why do I like him?

Ha.

That's a question I ask myself every second I consider my position at the moment.

I always end up mess up my hair and slump on the ground in annoyance. 

I stare at a picture my friend unsensitively sent me — a picture of him and her at the park, having a picnic.

Wow, he totally snatched the best friend in the world reward by not inviting me. 

Congratulations.

See...unintentionally he's making me hate him.

Or maybe that I'm the one who is initiating and my head is not conprehending anything sensible.

*sigh* I'm not even making sense.

Here I was on a saturday morning—oh wait afternoon, I woke up at 12:00pm all because of him...anyway I had nothing on. 

I was free for the whole day.

Normally we would be out...together, not with an extra thirdwheeler. :)

Well then again I wouldn't have wanted to be with them, with him, but not with her.

It would just make my body boil in....not anger but it isn't a nice feeling at all. 

My parents were out....as usual working hard to make sure that I lived well.

Sometimes I wished that they would just starve me....in the sense that they can spend actual time with me if they didn't work.

I start playing with a pen.

Lifting it....then dropping it on the table, allowing a loud CLACK to punch my ears. 

Maybe the answer is right in front of me.

And being the person I am, I ignored it because....who wants the truth that would only make you feel hurt and pain throughout yourself.

No one.

I don't know what to do.

What can one do?

I can't scold him for getting a girlfriend, that would be totally selfish and embarassing since I doubt that I can ever tell him my true feelings.

I don't want to be mean to him.

And somehow, I don't want to be mean to her as well.

Sure she just took my spot.

But she took it fair and square.

Of course I had no idea until a few weeks ago that  I was in a actual competition.

I've been in small competitions...where girls tried but were obviously never gonna get what they wanted.

I never suspected.

Being nearly as gulliable as him, I just never suspected.

Maybe it was because I thought that eventually, and no matter what, he would "choose" me.

Well of course comparatively speaking, me and her don't even compare, since somehow we were created to constrast each other like dirt and sugar.

Wherever that comparison came I don't know.

But it does make sense right?

So what is the next step?

Avoid him?

'hey bestie come over to _________ park. We're having a date but we decided to let you join us.'

See he's never going to use personal pronouns like 'I' or 'me' again.

But as mad as I felt, I still stepped out the door.

Yeah. 

I know I seem desparate.

But honestly I am.

I never had anyone who was close to me as he was.

My parents are very dear to me, but it is hard to connect intimately with them since I rarely see them. 

Myungsoo is the only one who actually spends time with me.

Who is willing to listen to me.

Doesn't mind me.

Never acts like I'm inferior or superior.

He had respected me from the second he met me.

And naturally I returned it to him....however that respect grew to something much more.

So much more.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

HI GUYS~ I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! (I'm probably more excited than you lol) 

So I'm back after disappearing for a few months and I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you.Please ignore all the mistakes in this, I literally sat down and forced myself to start and finish and post a chapter in one go.

By the way I know it seems like the plot it isn't really going anywhere but of course sooner or later it will. 

Lastly thank you subscribers and readers for sticking with this horrible writer. Thank you also for the comments, absolutely love reading them!

See you soon~