I woke up as there’s a beam of light glimmering right in front of me. The curtain that was always kept closed, being tied to the end. Showing the sun rise.

“I’m in my house right? Am I?” I kept mumbling by myself. After I’ve confirm that I’m in my house, I walked downstairs to make breakfast for myself. But an unknown back was facing me, wearing an apron. A woman. She was making omelette I guess, she’s holding ketchup.

“Nayeonnie?” That was the first name I thought. Yeah, of all names, why her?

“Jason?” She called me by my English name. It’s not her. Her voice was different.

“Mia (Mina of TWICE)?”

“Have a seat. I made you breakfast.” She smiled. She shoved me to my seat and laid a handkerchief on my lap. How come she knows everything in my house?

“And as your personal neurosurgeon, I have rights to do this, if you may ask later.” She handed me the plate of toast and a cup of milk.

“Now, let me talk. Have a seat.”

“Thought you’ll never ask.” She do speaks sarcasm.

“Leave after you’ve eaten your meal. And thank you for the food.” By then I left the dining table and went back upstairs.

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“Can you please, at least do something worthwhile living before you die?! Don’t hurt yourself as if you’re nothing! At least, eat. How will you convince your family your healthy if you keep being a child?!” She spat.

“Why would you care? I got nothing to lose though. Life’s ending. My life. Now, while I’m asking nicely, please leave. Don’t look for me unless it’s about my treatment. And I’m the one who’ll come to you.”

“If that’s what you want, just do it. But at least, eat. I’m going. I’ll text you for the next appointment.” She left.

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Mom, why does it feel so cold today? Day by day, it’s getting colder. So as my heart. I’m became heartless. That’s not me.

The love of my life is gone now, mom. I don’t want to live anymore. Even if I keep calling her name, she won’t come back like she used to do. Although I see her around, things are not like before. I can’t just hug her like usual, have a nice dinner together like when we’re used to do.

There’s nobody like you. Never. How am I going to live without you?

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I went to my office after I took a bite of the breakfast she made. Well, can’t be help. I’m hungry. Before that I stopped by at my favourite coffee house to buy myself a cup of caramel latte.

I know that figure. That voice. Nayeon. With him. My day had ruined again. Thank you dear Lord. How can I say to her, to stay away from him? Who am I to decide with whom she’ll be with?

But, reminiscing the day she cried her heart out after that incident, I can’t bear to see that happen again. And I love her.

“If you love someone, let her know.” The barista that I’ve known for ages told me. Yeah, maybe I’m too obvious in showing my affections for Nayeon. He saw it too.

“Thanks Jaehyun. It’s hard if it’s one sided.”

“You never know.” He smiled.

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“Jaein-ah! Come and join us!” She called me over.

“I’ve got important things to do. Company matters. Got to go. Bye Nayeon-ah.” Why did I say that? Ah, I’m such a loser!

I don’t even know how to look at her now. It was so awkward, they’re being together, with me sitting with them. Third-wheeling. Not my style. I somehow regret, knowing her, meeting her, loving her with all my heart. I bet she didn’t know the truth, the truth that I’m so in love with her.

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I did want to hangout at bar today. So unusual for me to do so. But, it’s still early so I had to be at the office then. After a while, I forgot about earlier. I became numb. Until my secretary tapped me on the shoulder.

“Sir, are you alright? You look pale. Let me lead you.”

“Thank you, err..” I took a good 5 seconds to recall her name. But then I can’t. Thank God she’s wearing the nametag.

“Thank you, Jiyeon-shi. Can you brief me my schedule for today