"What was it like to lose him?
It was like hearing every good-bye ever said to me—said all at once." - Lang Leav

Chapter 13: The Pain Inside

She left.

That words keep repeating in my head when I woke up.

I wish that last night is just a dream.

But the pain is real, so I know that it wasn't a dream.

I reach for my phone and my manager hyung has been calling for hundred times. But I didn't pick it.

I don't even care about anything else.

Anything but her.

***

"Hello." I greeted the girl in front of me.

She looks surprised before she replied, "Ah, hello, Bogum-ssi. Please come in."

I smiled politely, "Is she home?"

She stared at me confusedly and then she looked like she finally got the idea.

"Dang it, she didn't even tell him." She mumbled under her breath.

"What is it, Jieun-ssi?"

"Please have a seat, Bogum-ssi. I'll explain it to you."

I sit across her and wait for her next words.

"She's not here." Jieun said.

"Did she go somewhere? When will she come back?" I asked her.

"She got a scholarship in London, Bogum-ssi. She's not going back."

My heart skip a beat at her words.

"What do you mean? S-she's not going back?" I ask frustratedly.

"I'm sorry, Bogum-ssi. I thought she told you already." She looked at me apologetically.

"Do you have her new phone number? Address? Anything?"

She shaked her head, "She said she's the one who will call me. I'm sorry, Bogum-ssi."

I took a deep breath. Calm down, Bogum-ah.

"It's okay, Jieun-ssi. Thanks for letting me know, I'll leave now." I smile politely and bid my goodbye.

In my car, I rest my head on the steering wheel.

My head is already dizzy from lack of sleep and it clearly wasn't ready for this news.

London? Scholarship? Why she didn't tell me about this?

I gripped my wheeling steer tightly, trying to overcome the piercing pain in my heart.

I lost her, someone that I love dearly. Again.

And with that realization, my tears trickled down silently.

***

"Bogum-ah? Where have you been?" My manager hyung asked me when I arrived.

"I need to take care of something personal, hyung."

"Why you didn't answer my call? I was worried."

"Ah, I put it in the bag in silent mode. I'm sorry, hyung. It wont happen again." I apologize.

"Bogum-ah, I need to talk to you about something."

I'm really not in the mood for this.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow? I'm sorry hyung but I'm so tired right now."

He examines my face for a while before he surrender, "Alright then, let's talk tomorrow."

"Thanks, hyung."

He looked at me shortly before he goes out of my house. "Take a lot of rest, Bogum-ah."

"I will, hyung." I smiled reassuredly.

He closed the door and left me all alone.

I walk to my room, longing for my bed.

It's been a very rough day.

I put my phone on the nightstand and my eyes fall on a framed picture of me and Ahreum.

She's no longer here, and I miss her already. I smiled sadly.

I took a painkiller and sleeping pill before I went to bed.

I hope it helps.

***

3 years later.

"The number you're cal