Behind the Scenes: Let It Settle In

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ✖ DO OR DIE — Fringe Entertainment's new survival show
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BEHIND THE SCENES


The mood of team Yeonin was dark as they returned to the dorms. Geomi had gone ahead of them after filming his interview, which had taken a long time. Alex had been in scheduled to go after Geomi and he'd heard the sobs from within. His heart hurt for Geomi. How had this happened?! The guy was a main vocal! It felt so unfair! 

The team paused in front of the vocalist room. The door was open and inside Geomi was sitting on the matress with his legs drawn up and head buried in his hands, crying. Alex glanced at the leader, Yeonin, who just looked from Geomi to Alex, obviously at a loss of what to do. Inshik just shrugged. It was Bomseok who moved toward Geomi first and Alex followed. Meanwhile Yeonin just walked away.

"Geomi-" Bomseok started, and sat down on the bed next to Geomi. 

Alex sat down on the mattress facing the crying guy. "Hey," he started, not really sure what to say. "Eh- . About the thing. I'm sorry."

Geomi nodded and sniffed audibly. He wiped the tears from his face but more just replaced it.

"Hey at least you don't have to see our ugly mugs again," Jeongha said with a forced smile. "I envy you, I have to see mine every time I look in the mirror!"

Geomi smiled back, very briefly, and sniffs again. "Y-yeah, a-anything but that." It came out hollow. He tried to rub away some of the snot with the back of his hand.

Yeonin returned and handed Geomi a wad of toilet paper with a solemn nod. So he hadn't bailed after all.

"Th-thanks," Geomi stammered, blowing his nose. "I-I'm s-sorry."

"It's okay," Alex said, he moved next to Geomi and put an arm around him, comforting the sobbing boy. Alex noticed Geomi's bag laying abandoned next to the mattres with some of his possessions halfheartedly shoved inside.

"It's just-" Geomi started inbetween sobs. "It's my looks again and I know it. It's m-my stupid ugly face."

"It's not!" Alex said immediately. "Your looks are fine!"

"Yes it is." Seowoo came through the doorway followed by the other vocal members from team James. Seowoo sat down opposite Geomi. "Look I'm not trying to be a , but there's no use in lying to yourself. You're not going to get through a survival show with a face like that. You wanna make it onto the stage you gotta find another way, and there are other ways."

It was getting crowded in the vocalist room now. Jaemin was in the corner trying to hide the fact that he was crying himself.

"Why are you crying?" Seowoo snapped. "You hardly know him."

Jaemin sniffed. "I just- I can't help it." Yeonin wordlessly handed him some toilet paper and Jaemin blew his nose.

"Look-" Inshik started. He'd been quietly sitting with his knees to his chest on his own top bunk and watching the others. 

"No not you," Alex cut him off. "You've done enough." He was still angry when he thought about how Inshik had treated Geomi, freezing him over something as stupid as not getting the lines he wanted. He was probably happy Geomi was going so there'd be less competition for him. This wasn't about Inshik, it was about Geomi. 

"Come on," Bomseok said, giving Geomi's shoulder a squeeze. "We can help you pack."

It didn't take long to gather the few possessions Geomi had taken with him. After many hugs and more toilet paper tissues, they saw Geomi off. Then one by one everyone turned in for the night. Kyungtaek and Seowoo took care of Geomi's matress, pushing it under one of the bunk beds. 

Alex retreated back to the dancer room where most guys were already sleeping. He felt too restless to just go to sleep. Even though it was pushing 2AM and they had another hectic day tomorrow. After tossing and turning for about an hour Alex climbed down from his bunk and went to the dark empty bathroom.

He splashed some water onto his face and looked in the mirror. There were clear bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, their team had put in ridiculous hours of work to get their last minute song change together. He'd gotten most of his sleep the past 48 hours on the bench in the practice room.

He let himself slide down to the floor, the cold tiles giving him a chill. Just to think, just for a moment.

The door opened and the lights . "Huh- oh. Hey." Ted was standing in the doorway, looking really sleepy and really confused.

"Hi hyung," Alex said, a bit disappointed. But if it was Ted it would be alright. 

"What are you doing?" Ted asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Just thinking."

Ted motioned for him to move over and sat down next to Alex. "Thinking about what?"

"Thinking about Geomi."

Ted nodded. "That's worthy of thought."

"It's just-" Alex started, feeling like a dam was about to break. "It's just so unfair, you know? He's a great singer, how could he get eliminated already? And is it really just because of his face? Are people really that superficial? And if so then did they just vote for me because of my face?"

"Probably," Ted said. "Survival shows are like that. You're either pretty or you stand out or you get eliminated. Geomi knew what he was in for when he applied to this. He'd done it before."

"But that still doesn't make it right," Alex muttered. It wasn't really the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted someone to be angry with him, not be reasonable! "Why does he get to go while someone like Seowoo or Hugo get to stay? Or Inshik." he wrinkled his nose.

"What has Inshik done?"

"He was a jerk to Geomi about the lines stuff."

Ted cocked his head. "Are you sure you're not judging too quickly?"

"No I know what I saw. He made Geomi feel like and now Geomi is gone!"

"You don't have to like him," Ted conceded. "But you do have to be civil."

"Ugh, fine." Alex sat up. He couldn't get that nagging feeling out of his head that Inshik had treated Geomi wrong, and now Geomi was gone. 

"Now go on, go to bed," Ted said, giving Alex a slight push.

"Aren't you coming too?"

"I still need to pee," Ted said. "This is a toilet after all. I'll see you in the morning Alex."

       
 
  Hyuk was sitting at the edge of the group with his legs drawn up. They were trying to decide on the lyrics devision between the vocalists.

"I agree Haneul should start the song," Hanjin said. "It will put the spotlight on Haneul and get hopefully get us some extra votes."

Haneul side-eyed him but at least he was honest about using him. Plus he got to sing more. "Okay so I'll do the first bit and then Daebak you'll do the second bit?"

"I don't want to take too many lines though," Daebak said. "Not like last time."

Haneul nodded. "That's okay I can take the majority."

"What about Hyuk?" Daebak asked. 

"Oh- oh no," Hyuk stammered. "Oh no you two are much better singers than I am, you should get those parts, don't worry about me. I'd feel much better if Haneul them since we're- well he's the one people will be voting for. I can do-" he looked at his lyric sheet and circled a part in the middle. "I can do this part?" It was nestled inbetween what would be Jeongha's verse and Haneul's chorus. It would be much less noticeable how unskilled he was compared ot his teammates. 

"Sure Hyuk," Haneul jotted it down on his sheet.
  They went through more of the lyrics until all was divvied up. "Wait," Kyungtaek said. "Hyuk you've got only two lines."

"That's okay, really," Hyuk said. "I'm a dancer anyway, not a singer."

"Come on," Jeongha said. "Why don't you do part of a chorus? I can just see it," Jeongha puts an arm around Hyuk and pulls him in. "It's the last part of the song, after the listening has grown tired of those two buffoons, and wow there comes in Hyuk with a more quiet and delicate sound." Jeongha grinned at Hyuk. "Yeah? Sounds good doesn't it?"

Hanjin nods. "That could work. After Haneul's the song could wind down with Hyuk's softer sound."

"Okay," Hyuk said. "I will give it a try." He could always try.

Maybe they were right, Jeongha and Hanjin knew better than he did about these things. And they were such an amazing rappers. Hyuk hadn't told anyone yet that he was actually more comfortable rapping than singing, and how could he?

Amazing rappers. Amazing dancers. Amazing singers. 

Hyuk just felt so out of place. So many years of training and he still couldn't compare to some guys who hadn't even ever been trainees before. He drew his legs up closer.

At least he was trying and that's what mattered. And if he got eliminated, wel, he couldn't expect anything more, right?


     

Seowoo was in a partifularly foul mood ever since the live show. He was well aware of his own strengths and weaknesses, but he had thought that his talent would at least keep him from being in the bottom three. It felt so insulting to be one of the first called up. 

So when Seowoo had found himself shoehorned in the kid's team without having any say in it, well, .

"Eh, okay, sooo," Alex started. "We should... listen to the song?" 

Seowoo rolled his eyes. Who'd made this kid the leader? Oh right, the voters had. .

He glanced around the group as they listened to Fireworks. The song was so obviously worse than the other two, he felt set up to fail. He could already imagine how the judges would call them forgetable and blame them for it when the song itself was probably too dull to even be sold as a nugu b-side.

And with both Haneul and James being famous even before the show started, their group didn't stand a chance. Not even with Alex' looks and cuteness, there was a reason he'd been the last to pick the song. Seowoo sighed. It felt like to be set up to fail.

"So... parts... we should divide the parts," Alex said rather uselessly.

"I want to do main vocal!" Inshik all but jumped up in eagerness.

Alex noticeably stiffened, narrowing his eyes. "Now that Geomi is no longer here you're really going for it aren't you?

"Now, now," Bomeseok quickly interrupted, putting his hands up to block both Alex and Inshik. "No fighting. Who wants to do the main vocal? Jaemin?"

Jaemin was fidgeting with his pants, the guy never seemed to sit still and it was really getting on his nerves. "I'm okay with a smaller part," Jaemin said. "I think that would be better."

"I want a main part," Seowoo said himself. At the very least he could try to get some recognition out of this sinking ship.

"Okay Seowoo gets-" Alex started

"We should let them try out," Bomseok reminded him.

They each sang the main parts of the song and he could see from the get-go that he wasn't going to make it. Disappointment number two. Everyone always responded to that kind of youthful energy even if the guy's singing was sub-par.

"I liked Inshik better," Bomseok said. "Seowoo, you can do the lead part,"

"It's a really important part too," Jaemin added. "You get the bridge to the chorus, it's what people will remember-"

"Don't patronize me," Seowoo snapped. He really, really hated being set up to fail.
 

 

     

 

"Admit it, you're happy Geomi is gone so you can finally be a little main vocal!" Alex accused.

"Stop it, I'm not!" Inshik felt his voice break into a squeak. He didn't understand why Alex was being such a jerk to him, it wasn't Inshik's fault that Geomi was gone! It was only the voter's fault and it had nothing to do with the fact that he had been mean to Geomi. 

He couldn't let anybody know that he'd been ignoring Geomi, all because he'd taken the parts that Inshik had wanted. He hadn't meant anything by it. He'd just been petty and angry about it and hadn't wanted to talk to Geomi for a bit. That was fair wasn't it? What Alex was doing to him totally wasn't! Besides, Inshik was sure Geomi'd done it on purpose since he knew Inshik wanted those parts- 

"Alex, Inshik, stop," Bomseok snapped.

"Where is Changui?" Jaemin asked. "Weren't you supposed to help him with his rap?"

Bomseok stiffened. "Yes," he said angrily. "I was."

"Come on then, let's find him," Seowoo got up from where he'd been sulking. "At least that's more productive than this."

They first checked the other practice rooms and production booths in the vain hope that Changui had been working hard on his own somewhere. No such luck. Then they tried the dorms, maybe he was taking a nap? But no.  

As a last resort they checked the canteen and even before they opened the door they could hear voices from within. Inshik shared a worried look with Bomseok who looked ready to lynch Changui. They opened the door and, bingo, there he was chatting with Hugo at one of the tables, happily eating some noodles and dumplings.

“The thing about Plato though,” Changui said in English. “Is that he's unreliable. He's writing about democracy from the viewpoint of someone whose mentor was executed by popular vote.so when he's painting his picture of a true democracy ready to be overtaken by a tyrant, that's not an unbiased conclusion.” Inshik could barely understand what he was saying let alone understand what he meant. He glanced at his hyungs with confusion but they just glared at the scene in front of him.

“True,” Hugo says in Korean. “Even without putting a judgement on the right or wrongness of his statements, you can't deny the effects they've had on the many political systems of this earth. True democracy scares people.” Hugo’s mask was off at it always was when eating and the gnarly scar underneath it still gave Inshik the jeebies. No wonder he wore a mask all the time, who wanted to look at that?

“I wouldn't call most political systems democracies either,” Changui pointed out. “If you're voting on a leader to represent a county does that still count as democracy? It seems to me that is more like an oligarchy,  especially since the pool of candidates is small and often comes from the same circles.”

“The people still vote for the leader,  as opposed to a true oligarchy where the oligarchs determine the next leaders. Unless we get into conspiracy theories of course.” Hugo slurped some noodles.

Changui laughed. “Yeah let's not. But a true democracy, I think that's what we need. Switzerland has had a true democracy for decades and they're still growing strong.”

“But Switzerland is a small insular country,” Hugo pointed out. “Of course it's easier for Switzerland to maintain that sort of politics. Also Switzerland still has parties and leaders and lawmakers, and even then their policy is hopefully conservative as a result. In this day and age a true democracy is simply unfeasible for larger counties. And when there is one, fear tactics and misinformation rule the decision making process, just look and at Brexit.”

“Hmm true that was a disaster,” Changui nodded before unhaling a dumpling.

“So we're at a conundrum,” Hugo said with his mouth full. “Damned if we do and damned if we don't.  Our leaders are corrupt but we need them and we need them to be qualified. So who do we look to to lead us? The corrupt politicians, the unqua

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UrangUtang
X DO OR DIE - Also! As an aside because it didn't fit in the postmortem: if anyone has any tops or critique for my writing I'd be happy to hear it!

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daisyrune
#1
Chapter 39: Hello !

I'm not very good at expressing myself in English , so sorry for the mistakes I'm probably making in writing you this comment .

I absolutely love this story !
It was really intense and interesting .
I was really involved in reading it.
I felt attached to all the characters ( even if my bias was Hugo . I'm a bit sad he wasn't selected as a member in the end but I like the final line-up , especially Jaemin ) and enjoyed reading both the chapters and the tumblre dashes .
It was like following a real survival show .

I also loved this last "chapter" . I really feel you . I think almost the same about survival shows ( which , unfortunately , now seems a trend in kpop ). ;_;

I blamed myself to have found this masterpiece only two days ago.;_;

If you will ever made a second season of do or die ( also with girls or co-ed. For me is indifferent). I will surely apply and take part in the voting ( even if my character won't be accepted).

Thank you for writing this story . It was a very good reading form me ! <3

P.S.: Also the layout of the story is really beautiful . Did you made it? If yes , you are really good not only at writing but also with graphics . ^_^
Soonyangel
#2
Chapter 39: Okay, as once again I forgot the BTS, I won't really comment on it, but I'll mostly comment on the entire ending.
I wanted to wait for the tumblr post to be up before commenting on the final line-up too, so with the last message up as well, it's my queue to write now.

So. WOW. This has been a rollercoaster ride. I loved every bit of this story and it really, REALLY confirmed my opinion on survival shows. I hate those with a passion, though not entirely for the same reasons. There's the editing part, but it happens in a lot of shows, as most of them are scripted and idols have to do things they wouldn't do normally - that's how Korean entertainment works, unfortunately. Survival shows add this "last chance" time and it just breaks my heart to think of all those trainees left behind. Some get to debut as well (like with the iKon/Winner part and I believe SF9's band counterpart will debut soon, considering I heard news of FNC promoting a new 4-member group), but I doubt all of them do. And I hate this. I hate those shows for giving hope to kids and crushing it right away. Though I dislike both iKon and Winner, I still feel my heart clench when I watch those videos of Team A/Team B last show. So reading this made me mad at Korean industry yet again LOL. But gosh, Shay, this was a masterpiece. So, before everything, and the most important thing there is to say: THANKS. Thanks for writing this, for sharing your feelings about this with us and for making us love all of them and cheer for them.

Now, for Do or Die, I feel like we actually did pretty ok with the line-up. I've seen the Doc page and what you put as the ideal group buuuuuuuuut the way I see it, it would have been dysfunctional at some point, Korean-entertainment-wise. The dynamic would have been awesome but they would have lacked in performance, at least the way I see it~ But then again, you saw how I voted, not for the people but in a business manner, finding out main vocals/dancers/rappers, composers etc, the way unfortunately some people create groups. I think we did pretty good on that aspect with what we ended up with? If that makes sense? Not to criticize or anything ;u;

And somehow... I had a hunch that our votes didn't matter that much when you wrote the part with the judges in the BTS. It reeked of control, which you exactly wanted to write about - the control of the company over the show. And somehow I wondered if you had influenced the votes at some point. I didn't expect it to be right from the beginning LOL but I believe you did well! It was a nice thing to know that you really took the experience that far. I totally understand why you did it and I have to say, congrats for holding that far without telling us anything! GREAT JOB :) It was funny to see what would have changed, I mean, wow, Yoonshik and Hanjin would have been eliminated super early o.o And it made sense that Alex was eliminated that way because it was weird that he would earn the least amount of votes XD

The tumblr post was cute, it's great to see they all did well in the end. Some of them really benefitted from the show while others really had a hard time because of it. I kinda expected Hugo to apply for the manager position though XD AND YES THE DATING NEWS SHAY WILL YOU MARRY ME? I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I almost feel more satisfied with this than with the final line-up woops. Also, I haven't played Mass Effect (I know shame on me but I'm scared less of space so I need time ;u;) but damn. This soundtrack really made me want to give it a go. When my thesis is done, I'm going to play the out of this I swear. And I have to catch up on Assassin's Creed too. Anyway. HM. And by Hyuk Bible discussion this killed me XD
And I got rick rolled. I... didn't expect this, you got me good haha. This song is dope though /dances

Now... I don't really have anything more to say, just thank you for this great experience. I'm happy to have been part of it somehow and I'll gladly look back on this adventure with a huge grin on my face. You did such a great job with those characters and with this story. So, once again, I'm a fan and I'll always be c: It feels weird to say goodbye to Do or Die in a way, but it was a wonderful ride. Thank you, thank you!
I'll stick around if you don't mind little me, since I just love your stories so much. Hopefully, despite my awkward and almost inexistant social skills, you'll see in me a friend :)

So yeah. Thank you Shay <3
formii
#3
Chapter 38: Cringe Entertainemt //dead
BanaWarrior
#4
Chapter 39: Well... This explains a lot of things. Like, how you dealt with the votings and all.
But... HELL YES I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ELIMINATIONS. \o/ -run-

So... Who would be the leader of the perfect five? xD and I wonder if they would be even more famous with those five or not...?
Also, if things went how they were technically supposed to go (lol) the final ten could have been different. That's just mind blowing.

But yeah, I get all the thing about unfairness. I've never watched a true survival show (Hit the Stage really doesn't count), so it's my first time watching one with Produce 101 s2, and while I watch it I can just think "...this can't be real" and also that probably there are trainees that I will never remember because there are freakin 98 guys and it's always more or less the same ones that get more screen time. This whole thing can be described as something we "hate to love" really ;w;
Argh, now I'm getting pensive! Not only because this ended (I'm not okay), but also because now I'm thinking about the unfairness of the world. OTL

(btw, I made the whole list, and Daebak, Yoonshik and Hanjin could've been out of the final ten, and Geomi, Kyungtaek, Alex, Inshik and Yeonin could have been -or not, I don't know- in the final ten.)
kattirompa
#5
Chapter 39: //whispers
...the best.
BanaWarrior
#6
Chapter 38: I just want to scream and cry and hug them and print all of this tumblr page and put it on my wall.
I will fight anyone that says that Atlas is a black hole visual-wise. Please, just look at Jaemin. I will fight anyone that says too much sh*t about Halli. I will protect Jeongha and Hyuk's sunshine light. I will give Inho's best leader prize, because he deserves it.
And I probably will make something to celebrate Atlas 1st anniversary in 04/12 of this year <3 (if I have time, but I can prepare it all along the year so...)
P.S: HELL YES 2YEON IS REAL MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!!!! <3 <3
Viollium
#7
Chapter 39: Viva's brain: *kaboom*
BanaWarrior
#8
Chapter 37: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY BUT AT THE SAME TIME I'M SO SAD FOR SOME OF THEM! HELP!
I'm like, drowning in joy that Jaemin, Hyuk and Halli made it. I'm so happy that Jeongha made it too! And for more sad that I'm because of Hanjin (I really am bro TT-TT ) and still happy that Inho is there to be a leader. Tho, I kinda feel a possible dangerous groud for Atlas without Hugo there to watch over them. OTL He's kinda the guardian angel, while Yeonin was the patron saint -run-
I don't know, I have hope that things will go really well for them, but life is unpredictable so...
I hope all of them can keep in touch, that Hanjin can get an amazing career, that Hugo can still be around to help them if they need, that Daebak can learn all the things he wants to learn, that Yoonshik can get his life back and be happy ever after with Yoonmi, that Ted can live his life without regrets, and that all the other guys that left before them can also be happy. :'3

Argh, when I got the notification I was "no no no no no IT'S THE END I CAN'T READ IT!" so I finished watching what I was watching and took some time, and then I came to read ;w; I think I still didn't have fully grasped that things have ended OTL I feel so attached to these boys! Now I have another reason to drown myself in real mysery by watching real life drama in Produce 101 season 2 OTL -run-
Jey-chan
#9
Chapter 37: NO! NONONONONO! HANJIN OMG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /cries
djsfhbaldjshfbdakjfhbaskjfhbsdakfjhdsbafkjdshbfkdsjhfsdaf

I can't. I just can't right now.
Hanjin... Hanini... NO. Inho didn't even want this and Hanjin NEEDED it. This world is just cruel.
I go cry myself to sleep now /Jey out