Zico POV

      The fact that Nichkhun hyung broke up with me still heavily lingered in my heart one week later. It was hard to believe that he easily gave up all we built together to cover up a scandal. I knew we were celebrities, but there could've been another way. Yes, a more complicated one, but one that would make us both happy. Then again, he is technically in a relationship with a beautiful girl. I knew that he would regain his happiness with her. I was just temporary. Even thinking back to how we got together, it seemed to be all too fast. I've heard that some people fall blindly in love, and I guess I was the victim now. All of those words must have been void of real emotion. I was right the first time. He just felt pity.

      No matter how often I tried acting happily, my mood must have been horrible. All the members stayed away from me, rarely talking to me. After seeing my cuts during the car accident, I assume that they didn't know how to deal with my depressed self Only Taeil-hyung took initiative and stayed close to me, not afraid of my nasty attitude. He kindly made sure I ate all my meals and stopped me when I drank too much at nights. If it wasn't for him, I would have broken already.

      Nothing would make me forget about Nichkhun hyung except for work. Luckily, Swings hyung, one of the rappers in the underground industry that I seriously adore, offered me to feature in his upcoming concert next week. Receiving such an offer was an honor that not many people would get to experience.

      Jihoon (Swings) Hyung: Jiho, I loved Zico on the Block 1.5 so much. I just have to hear some of your tracks in my concert next           week. Will you be able to make it? I know you're active as an idol as well.

      Me: Of course hyung! Even if I was on my deathbed I'd accept this offer. Where and when? I'm ready ^^

      Jihoon (Swings) Hyung: Haha oh Jiho, please don't joke like that. Knowing you, you tend to overwork beyond what others label as       working too much. But I'm glad that you will be able to come. I'll send you the info.

     Me: Thanks so much! I'll show you my best!

     Finally, I'd be back where I truly belong.

      The day of the concert made my heart race with excitement. Here, I wasn't forced to wear eye makeup to make my eyes less scary. I could be comfortable in my clothes and own the stage. The microphone was solely mine to spit out verses of my true feelings. I could diss who I wanted, curse at who I wanted, and say what I wanted. That was the beauty of rap. I could do this all without worrying about KBS banning anything. Sometimes, the idol industry was really a pain. I couldn't be selfish, but rather think about the synergy of the group and the public's desires. Mainstream music was fun to produce sometimes, but rap - rap was the real .

      The cheers were intoxicating, filling up my system with an energy I haven't experienced in a long time. Smiles? I didn't have to smile here. I could flip up my middle finger to whatever name I call out, like a cry of war. The underground was no joke. It was constantly a war scene. This battle was one I was proud to take part in. It was my genuine identity. This confidence was what I wanted to fill myself up with. I was tired of my mind telling me to hate myself because people hate me. I wanted to shove that part of me down, choking it till it died. This was the life I had always dreamt of living, and I'm living it now.

      Once my stage was over, the high I got from the crowd still lasted till everything was over, leaving the other rappers alone in the quiet venue. I walked up to them, hoping to get some feedback. 

      "Jiho, that was spectacular! I was so engaged in your performance that I nearly lost the cue for mine! Continue your hard work and I'm sure you'll rise to the top," Jihoon hyung complimented me. I smiled a real smile after a long time.

      "Thank you hyung! I promise to make you even more proud one day," I replied back, deciding to walk around to talk to the others here. I didn't notice that a man was already in front of me and I bumped into him.

      "Woah there," he said in English, taking a look at me. "Ahh you must be the Zico Swings hyung was talking about," he continued on in Korean. It was Jay freaking Park. Only God knows how much I admire him. Thanks to Nichkhun hyung (my excitement nearly...nearly died down upon thinking about him), I looked up who Jay Park was. Turns out he's a CEO of his own label AOMG. Not only does he rap, but he's an amazing singer and dancer. The whole package. The reason why he left 2PM was one I suppose I nearly experienced with myself. Someone severely mistranslated his Twitter posts about Korea, thus fans wanted him to leave. He was the leader of 2PM too, making it a drastic change. He went back to the U.S., where he was born