DONGHYUCK

What up y'all. Now, disclaimers, disclaimers. This chapter is called annoying people. Having said that, not all people are annoying. There are many people, out there, somewhere, that is effing amazing. This is just me pointing out that there are some, not necessarily you (totally you). First of all, it's the guys so ladies, get ready to be like "right?" and fellas be like "pssh! I know a lot of guys like that but I'm not like that. I'm hot, I'm y, I have a huge package". Shall we begin? Let's do it.

Number one: The silent hottie. Jaemin and I were hanging out the other day at the mall. Mark was at one of his dad's company party and Jeno was busy with tutoring class. We walked around a bit until we saw two guys while looking at some graphic t-shirts. Now, these guys are b-e-a-utiful. They were so hot. They were one of those guys where you see and you do a double-take.

"Nice Jaemin, that looks good-" I stopped halfway to look at the guy that just walked by us. Tall, clear skin, and slim. "Damn! Woof!"

You and your friends spotted him and y'all just like twiddling your hair and making googly eyes at him, similar to how Jaemin and I were. And before you judge us, Jaemin and I are hoes. We're not gonna cheat on our boyfriend but it's still fun to flirt with guys. Now, that's that over with. The guy is so hot that you secretly tried to take pictures of him and send it to your friend with the caption "Hold on, be right back, I need to go bend over". Like I did, when Jaemin had to go to the bathroom.

Now let's be real, we were about to make all type of terrible decisions to get the guy's attention, so we walk up to him. He was looking all y, like a movie star. We were like "Hi, how are you?"

He was all like "Whut you want?"

Yeah, please excuse me as my make a u-turn. What the eff just happened? The guy is so hot until he opened his mouth. Either he's a weirdo, has a poor sense of humor, sound stupid, or just has a terrifying voice.

.

"Yur aight, man?" One of the guys asked me. I got the terrifying voice one. 

 "Hahaha, yes, hi, Mr. DMX..." I nervously answered.

"Whut?" He looked at me confused. At least Jaemin didn't have that much luck either.

"Aye yo, I went to the gym today, right?" The other guy who's talking to Jaemin said in a sluggish tone and lazy attitude. "I lifted, like, so many heavy things."

"Uh huh, I wish it was a book," Jaemin replied. Honestly, this is what we get for talking to guys that are not Mark or Jeno.

Number two: The Hypnotist. This dude is an absolute player. I know it, you know it, and she knows it. He came out of his mommy with a fricking jersey on him. The nurse didn't slap his booty, oh no no no, he slapped the nurse's booty. He's been with you friends, sisters, cousins. I'm talking about this guy in Jaemin's case. He saw his old crush while we're in the arcade. Jaemin looked like he hated this guy until he came up to us with his charming eyes and magical words. 

"Honestly, I've made a lot of mistakes," He told us, Jaemin specifically. "I'm just looking for the one that'll give me the chance."

"Mmhm, three things," Jaemin said after he promised me he'll be like an ice queen. "First, I'll take a vodka cranberry. Second, I love you. Third, just in case, I'm not wearing any undershirt under this shirt."

Luckily, I got Jaemin out of there before he made a mistake. How? How does this guy do this? Jaemin knows it's bad for him but it's like he's lactose intolerance, the guy is a gallon of milk, and there's a jugging contest. Fricking farting all the way out of the arcade. "Damn you, heart, I'm sorry."

Number three: The good guy. We all know the good guy. He lives over there, in 127 Freind Zone lane. This guy is great because he's nice, he's sweet, and he's caring. Most importantly, he's there when you're boyfriend pissed you off. He's probably a little shy and it's adorable. Although he might be madly in love with you, you just see him as a brother. 

As a result, he now believes, nice guy finished last. Well, you know what Mr. Nice guy, people are idiots, no one denying that. But at the same time, it's not completely the girls or the gay boys' fault, because all these douchebags that got laid have one thing in common. They all made a move. 

"Hey Renjun, what are you doing here?" Jaemin pulled my arm, causing me to look up and see our schoolmate. 

"S-Shopping?" 

"Oh, wanna join us?" I suggested.

"Ok," He answered. 

The whole entire time, Renjun walked next to Jaemin. the two of them seemed to get along swimmingly.

Number four: The flashing douchebags. Now, this guy doesn't care if he's a douchebag. In fact, he wants the world to know that he's a douchebag. He's obnoxious and rude and probably said: "That what she said". It's like there's a sign above his head: Douchebag, get your douchebag here. He probably referred to women with some disrespectful term and hanged out with other douchebags. Chances are when he approached you, he probably said something inappropriate that make you wish you have some Valencia so you can shuffle it down his throat, just so his mouth would have a filter. 

"Damn boy, your is really nice," I heard someone said behind us as we walked by the food court. 

I glanced over to see a group of guys laughing and whistling at us. We just rolled our eyes and ignore them.

Number five: The fantasy. Aka Mr. Perfect. He's smart, he's handsome, he's fun, and most importantly, he's a gentleman. Honestly, if I was a zombie, I'd eat him the most. The fantasy is everything you wanted in a guy and he is taken by some random chick or dude you don't know but you hate. If you haven't figured it out already, I'm totally bragging about Mark lol.  

"What you doing here?" I asked in a surprised tone. 

While Jaemin and Renjun were looking at the boba tea menu, Mark popped out of nowhere and sat down next to me. "I ditched the party to spend time with you."

Other people also try to get a piece of my Mark as well. For example, the waitress was obviously flirting with Mark. I kept quiet to see what he would do. He completely ignores her after he orders his drink and pays attention to me. I couldn't help but smile a little bit. Honestly, that probably make a lot of people, especially the waitress, hate me. 

Number six: The kite. Now, I'm gonna sensor this for my younger readers. There is always one guy we know, whose eyes are really red. I don't wanna so blunt but he's always in high spirit. Probably looks a bit a caveman from the stone age. Loved to jamming out to some MJ Timon. Favorite color: green. You always have to repeat conversation with them because they're always staring at nothing into space. In every picture you take, they looked like they're trying to find Waldo. 

No example for this one because I think you got the ideas. 

Number seven. Musclehead. Aka Fitness Junky. The guy who spend all their days in the gym. They're always seen with a protein shake and are always fit as eff. However, not only are they fit and in shape, they want the whole world to know they're in shape.

Countless picture of them on Instagram of them flexing. Then, the most annoying picture is one of them lifting up their shirt to show their abs. Don't get me wrong. One or two pictures like that, psss, hot damn. But if every picture on your Instagram is like that, it gets a bit annoying. Leave something to my imagination. Besides, I've probably photoshopped your abs onto Mark's body for my entertainment. 

Why does Muscle head keep lifting up their shirt? I don't want to be reminded every second that their s are bigger than a girl. Men that are fit have the continuous need to lift their shirt in the photo. Then the hashtag is gonna be "do you even lift bro?". Honestly, why are human so annoying, like only human do this. I can't imagine animal doing this. If Piglet has Instagram, I highly doubt he'll be like "Yo, check out my six s, dawh. Do you even bra shopped?"

Having said that, luckily, we didn't run into the last two types of guys while we eat. However, we did run into a guy who gave Jaemin a business card. He claimed he's from an advertising agency and he would like to audition Jaemin in a commercial. It's in a couple of days and the agent guy told Jaemin he can bring his friends along if he wants. The guy even gave us the website of the company. I checked it and it's seemed to belong to a branch of Mark dad's company. Mark even confirmed it with his dad.

Anyway, hope you girls didn't think I forget about you. Since I was focused on the guys during the mall trip, I'll focus on the type of girls during school. I know it and you girls know it. Y'all could be crazy sometimes. Of course, if we talk smack on the boys, we got to do it for you girls as well. Uh, equality? Welcome to types of annoying girls. Block, block, snap, built and lego...

Number one: The Barbie. Straight up, this chick born with curlers in her hair. She came out of her mommy with perfect blush, high heels, and manicured nails. The Barbie is always so dressed up and she always looked fabulous. To be honest, for people like me, she's a nuisance. I like to wear comfortable sweat pants and non-designer glasses. However, she made us all looked bad. You know this girl coming from a mile away.

I was sitting in class, silent reading when click clicks click.  Why? Because she's walking down the hall with high heels on. Who wears high heels in high school? Does she have a backpack? Noooooo. She has a purse. What's in the purse? A pencil. Can she use the pencil? Nooooo, Why? Because it's eyeliners. 

It's so annoying. If we ever go to someone's wedding, people will probably come up to her, congratulating her on her wedding. Why? Because her hairs did, her nails did, her area did. Honestly, it's my cousin wedding but you showed up, looking like the bride. 

"Oh, here comes the Barbie," Jaemin rolled his eyes as the two of us walked down the hall. 

The queenka walked down the hall as her perfect manicure, perfect blush, and everything. Of course, a lot of guys drooled over her but other just get annoyed, like us. 

"Please step out of Sephora, with your Victoria Beckham looking self," I whispered as we walked by her. Jaemin and I had a good laugh out of her reaction.

Number two: The WWW, aka the world wide waterwork. This girl is obsessed with writing in her diary and her diary name is the Internet. Constant Facebook status about her relationship, her backstabbing best friend, and every deep thought and emotion goes into every tweet. Hashtag no new friend. She is the queen of Instagram. I'm talking poses for days. And she altered her pictures so much. 

"Oh my gosh Donghyuck, look at this," Jaemin had a look of shock on his face. "This girl looks like Voldemort."

"Hey, that's mean," I replied.

"Seriously, look," He pushed his phone to me.

A normal girl would be posing a selfie leaning against a wall or throw up peace signs, maybe show a little cleavage. The WWW would a little different. It's like BoOm! Expelliarmus! Like what the eff, my Instagram doesn't do that. What if I want my nose to disappear?

Number three: The Opera house. Guess what's new and exciting with this girl. EVERYTHING! This girl turned everything into such a big deal because she over exaggerated everything. If she was a newspaper, the front new would be about her broken nails, followed by funeral information. 

"Oh my god, oh my god, he looked at me," I heard a girl gasped to her friend when Jeno walked by her desk. "Oh, this is the best day of my whole life."

"Oh my god, are you serious? Gas prices are so expensive. Honestly, everyone hates me."

You don't know if this girl is saying something or swallow a bee. Everything she said can be part of a big dramatic musical happening in an opera house. Like honestly, she said things and she's passionate and I'm so happy for her but this is what she sounds like to the rest of the world. (Insert psycho music)

"Last night... I ran out of toilet paper... And I just sat there, with tears running down my eyes... I don't why this is happening to me, I'm such a good person... Then later that night, some stranger poked me on Facebook..."

Honestly, calm yourself before you wreck yourself.

Number four: The silent hurricane. Why is she called that? Because she will destroy your house like a home wrecker, without making a sound. Let's talk here, maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe a fiancee, husband, or any random guy you have a crush on. Chances are he have a friend, who is a girl, that's really close to him that make you think "Ummm, I don't know about that". However, he assured you that she's a sister. 

That's until one day, you walked in on his "sister" his neck. "Hmmm, that an interesting family reunion."

The silent hurricane is the girl that's close to so many guys. The guys always think she's a sister but secretly, she's getting close to him. Using her mind vibe, the silent hurricane gets some XXX. Luckily, Jaemin and I don't have to worry about that girl. Mark and Jeno are a little dense when girls hit on them. Rather, we got them a little whipped. 

Let me help you girl out but telling you her common tactics. It's always included a cute nickname or an inside joke the guy and the silent hurricane shared. And the classic "I'm heartbroken and I need my closest guy friend to console me. Probably in my ". To those girls, let me said "Eff You!"

Number five: MRT, aka Miss Rude Thang. Apparently, the rest of the world miss this global announcement proclaiming her as the queen. Why? Because she goes around with a crown on her head. Maybe to the rest of us, the crown is devil horns. MRT thinks she all that and does even respond to people. Usually. she responds in a series of facial expressions. 

Jaemin and I are eating lunch with Mark and Jeno when I notice a guy walking to an empty seat at a table that's half filled. He got one of the girl's attention. "Hi, is this seat taken?"

The girl didn't answer but her face had a look of disgust. I mentally say "excusssse me?". Luckily, her friends are nice enough to let the poor guy sat at the table if he didn't disturb them. Basically, the girl is a . excuse my language but she is. If you ever want to be an MRT, just imagine giving yourself giving birth to Wolverine through your butthole because that what you look like all the time. 

Lastly, Miss Koopa Troopa, aka a shell of a human being. This girl's sole purpose is to find a Mario. She hoped to find her Mario around our world. When one Mario stepped on her, she goes into her shell and popped out later to search for another Mario. She constantly needs someone in her life.

"Didn't that girl dated someone last week?" I asked Jaemin as we walked out of school.

"They broke up," Jaemin answered nonchalantly.

"I swear she was with someone else a month ago."

"They also broke up."

"Even the guy before that?"

"Yup!"

Miss Koopa Troopa has no purpose besides finding Mario. She has no existent of her own and no concept of herself. If her life is like a Disney movie, it would be called "...And the Beast". Gosh girl, you crazy!

Alright, that's the end of my analysis of annoying people. Comment and tell the author what kind of girl or guy you are. Are you the waterwork? Are you the waterwork? Are you the waterwork? You're the waterwork.

Who died because of "We Young"? I did. People said something about Jeno's shirt but I was more focus on Donghyuck tank top. I swear I yell everytime his arms got to reveal a bit. 0^-^0 Mark is unnecessarily cute for no reason at all. That boy is slowly getting rude for no reason at all. Maybe it's because he hit 18. He needs to calm down. Anyway, do what Donghyuck said above, or else you'll never get to see Jaemin again in real life.

FIGHTING!!!