MARK

This is the most boring thing in the world right now. Once again, my mom drags me to one of my dad company parties. Even though it is not required that I attend and everyone in the company probably already know who I am, my mother still insisted that I go. There are better things that I could be doing right now. There is homework that I could be doing (lie), chores that I could be doing (another lie), and neck I could be kissing (not a lie). Donghyuck's neck to be specific. Don't get any wrong idea. Hyuckkie will always be my bae and I will never cheat on him. Instead, I have to sit here and painfully fake my way through the whole evening. 

I know what you're thinking. Why not just text Donghyuck on my phone? Well, to you, I'll say "no sherlock", but my mom took my phone and I have lost all connection to my whole world. I have to smile at every passing employee and mentally, I just hope to get through this whole evening without having one of the employee's daughters hanging all over me. I mean, can they be more obvious? All of the employees brought their daughters along. I wish I have my phone right now. 

"Mom, can I have my phone back, please?" I faked a sweet tone with her so she can't refuse. Unless she wants to loose face in front of the people she's talking to. "I need to check something important."

"Sure, honey," She smile back and reach into her purse and gave me my phone. 

I sprint away quickly and check all the messages. A couple of them were from Taeyong and the other but Donghyuck messages me three times. Basically, he asks me what I was doing? Obsessive much, I like that. Then, he sends me a selfie of him. That adorable little boyfriend of mine will be the death of me. Finally, the last message is how he just beat a new level of that online game. It has been a couple of days since I made an account. I haven't it touch it since then because I gave up. I'll just keep a close eye on Donghyuck and made sure he doesn't meet whoever it is that's messaging him online. Damn, now I sound like the obsessive one. 

Anyway, I look around for a bit before snapping a selfie and send it to Donghyuck. I don't want him to miss me too much and I want him to remember what a cute and handsome boyfriend he has. After I send it, I sat back on the comfy chair and wait for a reply. Usually, I would take Donghyuck along with me to these boring party but my mom was also in the car so I don't want it to get any more awkward than it already is. 

"Are you Mark Lee?"

I turn my head a little bit to see and a girl with clearly too much make-up sat down on the seat next to me. "Yes, can I help you?"

"Yunnie, I'm the daughter of the company general manager," She held out her hand.

I shook it and retract my hand. "Nice to meet you."

"So do you attend these events often?" 

"I kinda have to," I reply. "My mom made me."

"I know how it felt," Yunnie flirtatiously flick her hair. "What kind of thing do you like to do for fun?"

"Look, I already have someone," I deadpan. "If your objective is to get with me, then forget it. Most girls here have the same idea as you, so I just want to be straightforward."

"O-Oh," She looks distraught and was able to walk away, but I suddenly came up with an idea to entertain myself  and learn something useful.

"Hold up, do you know most of the girls here?"

Yunnie nodded.

"Good, call them all here, I have something to ask all of you girls."

I stand outside of SM Private School. With the knowledge I require yesterday through the endless lines of girls, I am fully prepared to wage this war with Donghyuck to may him fall even more head over heel for me. All the arsenals I need for this war is right in my head. Time to go do some flirting with him.

Now before we start, there are a couple things I want to get out of the way. There are things in life that I'm not good at. For example, math, remember things, cleaning, safely removing a USB, paying things, math, remembering things. However, the one thing I know how to do is flirting.

Isn't obvious with the long line of boyfriends and girlfriends that I have? Just kidding, my life is like the casts of Bridesmaids. Just a bunch of single ladies and that one hoe who decided to get marry.

Anyway, with my 💯 emoji jacket over my uniform, I walk into school. First off is E-flirting. Let me explain. This is the most common form of flirting nowadays. Why going up to someone when you can like their status? Commenting on Donghyuck's pictures, tweeting him, and using emojis. No one says "You're beautiful" anymore.

I look up to see Donghyuck walking toward me. "Yo, 💯 ;)."

And I wink at him. It totally works because he starts blushing. Oh and by the way, what's up T-shirt reference? I know it's a jacket, leave me alone. 

The best way of E-flirting is liking the person's Instagram posts. I stroll through Donghyuck's to see his bazillion aesthetic posts. There's also one that he told of us holding hands. Of course, I like them all. Just as the girls from the party say "The number of likes divides by the number of minutes between each likes is equal to the number of time you want to his bosom". 

1 like= Ok, whatever, that could have been a mistake.

2 likes= Oh my god, maybe he thinks I'm cute.

3 likes= Oh god, he's totally breaking up with his girlfriend for me

4 likes= I need to plan our wedding.

5 likes= WHAT WILL OUR CHILDREN BE LIKE?

6 likes= Ok, he's a little creepy.

7 likes= I'm calling the cop.

8 likes= *phone* I'm being attacked by Chucky, this is not a drill!!!

Anyway, forget E-flirting. I still got more. By this time, the class has already started and I'm in class with Donghyuck next me. It's perfect for what's next. Touchy flirting. This is when I'll use any excuse to touch him. Such as...

"Oh my, gosh, Doghyuck," I burst out laughing as Donghyuck finish telling the joke. My body fell over and lean on his. In the end, I basically become a koala. 

Throughout the whole class, this is what happen. When my boyfriend sneezes, I pat his back. When he drop his pencil, I pick it up and touches his hand. When Donghyuck dozes off in class, I pinch his cheek. Basically, I use everything and anything to be able to touch him. 

Pat his back = You're so cute

Touch his hand = We should go somewhere alone

Pinch his cheek = Please notice how hot I look today

I shave that area, just in case, I thought to myself as I back hug him as we walk out of class. It's all about the body language. It's most universal language (after the McDonald sign). This went on for the whole day until school ended.

Instead of going home, I took Donghyuck out of a date to the movie. Now let me break it down for the noobs. Touchy flirting is especially useful when you are sitting. For example, no one seat watching a movie like Abraham Lincoln, they always shift their weight to one side. If the person leans over to your side, that mean they want your booty. But if the person leans to the other side,  you might as well get out your phone and play some Adele, like "Hello from the other side".

Luckily for me, Donghyuck leans to my side. "I like this movie."

"I prefer watching you instead of the movie," I whisper back to him. 

"Shut up, you cheeseball," He pushes me away but pulls me back immediately. 

The next type of flirting is stupid flirting. This type of flirting is the most common type of flirting. After the movie, we went back to my house and instead of doing his butler duties, I force Donghyuck to do homework with me. This is one of those rare time I brought homework home. 

"Donghyuck, how do you do this problem?" I push the math worksheet to him.

Stupid flirting is most iconic during the movie "Mean Girl" when Lindsey Lohan ask the cutie in front of her how to do a math problem because she pretends she at math. Most people who are good at flirting pretend they at math *wink wink*. If you like someone, you start asking them questions that you already know the answer to. 

"Yeah, yeah, that's how you spell Mississippi," I agree with Donghyuck on a world history question. "Yeah, I spell it with two p but if you don't like it, you can just take it out." As long as you give me the d. *Wink wink*

When we are finally finished with all the homework, Ten texts me and invite me to this party at Taeyong's house. This is perfect. Time for the next kind of flirting. The drunk flirting. Now, stop! I'm not gonna get drunk, I'm just gonna pretend to be drunk so 1). I can shamelessly tell Donghyuck all the things I think and 2). Donghyuck has to take care of me. 

After we change and got to the party, I went to pour us sodas. I got Donghyuck actual soda while I filled my cup with root beer. Root beer looks like actual beer so that'll fool people. 

"Donghyuckkie," I whine as I lean over him like a drunken person. Damn, I should be in acting class. "Do you want to do me? Because I totally want to do you."

"Mark, when did you get drunk?" He pulls me up and set my cup of root beer down. "Gosh, now I have to take care of you."

"You're really cute," I kiss his cheek. "And I'm not saying that because I'm drunk. I like you, this is not the alcohol talking. This is Mark talking, with alcohol inside of him. I'm not drunk, I'm drunken in love. You should work at Starbuck because I like you a latte."

ADuring the whole time I shamelessly hit on him, Donghyuck drags me outside so I can get some fresh air. This is the best type of flirting because if you and the person did end up together, they already have seen you at your worse. And they accept you for who you are, a drunken mess and that's ok. Wow, this got real deep for a moment there. 

If that doesn't work, then use the last kind of flirting, overkill. This person will flirt with anyone and everyone. For me, I'll use this type of flirting to get Donghyuck to feel a little jealous. 

"What do you mean?" I playfully push a guy's shoulder. "Oh, you're so funny."

At the end of the night, Donghyuck pulls me to the front of the house. My driver is waiting already and drove us home. I koala myself all over Donghyuck, who had to carry me all the way up to my room. After he changes me out of the party clothes, I force him to stay over for the night. It's cuddle time after a long day of flirting with my boyfriend. Donghyuck didn't seem to mind me sleeping on top of him.

Anyone who watch iiSuperwomanii, you should know where this fic is based on. This kinda a comical chapter for you readers to see a bit into Mark's head. He's a bit crazy if you can't tell already.

FIGHTING!!!