[ R ] crestfall_112 | Story Review

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Review ♕ Story Link crestfall_112 veneficious Ipseity Pick up name : crestfall_112
Request: Story Review

message: 87/100!
I am going to stay subscribed because I really did enjoy your story. Please continue writing it! 
  Title: Dark Matter
Author: crestfall_112

10/10 ─ Story Title: I think this title is perfect. It goes along with the theme, with the story characters, with the entire astronomy club and everything. This hints at all the dark themes and building mystery and thriller throughout the story within the first few words. Really wonderful title.

9/10 ─ Description/Forward: The poster is lovely, the quotes you have chosen are lovely as well. The only thing I wished the description/forward had a little bit more was an actual forward. maybe a few paragraphs of forshadowing what was going to happen in the story. Throughout the chapters, the thriller and suspense theme became apparent, but with just this simple forward you have, I couldn't really tell. I was expecting to read something more fluffy and cute, but I still enjoyed it. 

8/10 ─ Writing Style: I think your style of writing is very good. Your sentence structures are very well written and flows extremely well. There are a few paragraphs and dialogues that are indented when they shouldn't have been, some grammar mistakes, but overall your style was very chic and cool. Your dialogue was realistic and understandable, but at the same time you were very descriptive of the places and characters too. I could literally "see" Sooyoung and the astronomy classroom. I could picture the homework and books spread all over the desks of the science room. I really enjoyed how simple and relaxed your style of writing is. 

12/15 ─ Grammar/Word Choice: Your word choices were really good, the descriptions you used were so clear and understandable. I think you did a great job with structure and word choice. You did have a lot of grammar mistakes though, with your tenses. For example, words like "steaked" instead of "snuck". The past tenses of words were slightly off and it was noticeable, but it wasn't unbearable. Another thing was, I have no problem with using a little bit of romanized Korean language ie. sunbae, oppa, annyeong, etc. But you used "sunbae" a lot. A lot a lot. I was going to check how many times you used it, but I couldn't select the text heh. But it was overused. I understand that Koreans use the polite term addressing their elder while speaking to them, for example, "Sunbae, you are this. I want to do thi
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_Miss_Right_
#1
Chapter 24: picking up ^^ tnx for your feedback and your advice's!!
_Miss_Right_
#2
hey , its been a week since i requested. can i know if teh reveiw's finished?
PurpleRose #3
Chapter 23: I've picked up my banner. Thank you! <3 I love them! hahahah!
ejacyeolation
#4
Chapter 22: Oh gosh, wow. I just read the review and it was very lovely and I am so very thankful for the nice words and the amazing pointers! Will definitely improve on those run-on sentences thanks to you, and I would love to request for a poster but I think I need to wait for you guys to open again, right? Anyway, thank you so much for helping me out with my story!
cathedralwidow
#5
Hi there! Requested a review. Thank you :)
callmesabby
#6
Requested a review! ^^
minleo #7
Chapter 21: Picked up! ^^
Thank you for the graphic and review. I will work hard on improving my story~ :3
PurpleRose #8
I've requested a banner! :)