So I replied to a comment (which was a REALLY late reply) about chapters ith numbers as titles and thought that hey, I should put my reply here (note: this will probably be the ONLY time I will give hints) (btws, this is kinda paraphrased)

"These kinds of chapters will appear every so often and they're all from a different person's POV. The red font hints to what their personality is like or what's that reasoning to their attitude so in a sense they do relate to the story but more so to the person. The title relates to the character but it's kinda like some sort of messed up code for who the person is."

I held no desire to be dependent...

Because I knew...

They were all cruel...

"Mama, look look!" outside of the window, there was a huuuge rainbow after a scary rainstorm passed by our house.

"I'm coming I'm coming," she laughs, walking up to me and sitting on the chair next to mine so that both of us can see the pretty rainbow. With the pretty rainbow and my pretty mama, I was really happy. If papa was here, it would've been ten times as better!

But he works so much that I've never seen his face before...

"It is pretty."

"Like you, mama!"

She laughs again before stopping and coughing loudly. I knew that it hurts when mama coughs so I get a tissue from a tissue box on the table and hand it to her. Mama coughs into the tissue.

Why is the tissue always red when she coughs into it?

I woke up one day, but mama wasn't there. And this wasn't my room.

A pretty lady walked in with some rice and kimchi and a cup of orange juice on a tray and she smiles at me, "Hi, I'm Raina, an assistant at the orphanage. I brought you some breakfast."

She said big words I didn't know but maybe she read my mind and knew that I didn't know them, "Oops, right, you're still in 2nd grade. Well in a way, I'm your older sister or auntie from now on." She walks over and places the tray on my legs.

"Why am I here?" I ask before eating a big scoop of rice.

"Well... a man came by and said 'please take care of him please'," Raina-unnie says slowly.

"'A man'?" I didn't know any other man than the nice uncle who gives my lollipops from his candy shop.

"Um... brown hair, brown eyes... where's glasses... y-your dad maybe...?" she says the last part quietly.

I blinked, "But I don't know what my dad looks like."

Raina-unnie was quiet but kept staying with me whenever I walked around the or-fa-na-ge when I finished breakfast. I found a man by a desk outside near the door, looking bored. He looked a bit like Raina-unnie.

I pull on Raina-unnie's shirt and point over to the man. She pats my head, "That's the owner of the orphanage, my... father... He'll be your father for now too..."

'Father'? I'll have a papa! That made me smile and run over to the desk, "Hello!"

He looks over, not smiling a bit, "Hello." and looked really tired.

"Um- so- why am I here?" I asked again because my question wasn't answered by Raina-unnie, so maybe he knew.

Before he was able to say something Raina-unnie came and push me away.

"C-Come on, now... uh- let's go meet the other children!"

Why was Raina-unnie in a hurry?

When Raina-unnie went out to get food one day, I went to Mr. Dad (all the children called him that) and asked him but it didn't seem like he heard me so I kept asking the question and followed him around the orfanage.

He turned and I was on the ground, the side of my head hurted really badly.

It hurts it hurts it hurts.

I was crying because it hurted so badly.

"Would you be quiet?! You're nothing but a nuisance! Listen: you're dad didn't want you. You're mom died the day you came here. Don't you know that an orphanage is a place for hated children?!"

My heart hurts. It hurts as much as my head and I started to cry more, "N-No...! That's not true...! Mama always told m-me that papa loves me...!"

Then I was laying on the ground, my stomach burned.

"Tch, you're so annoying when you cry."

He walked away.

He left me in pain.

They left me in pain.

"Oh no...! Oh no no no no!" I saw Raina-unnie and I felt her pick me up and carry me to my room. She was crying when I wasn't anymore, "I'm sorry...! I'm so, so sorry...! I failed you mom...! I'm sorry I'm not old enough to take over the orphanage...! I'm sorry that he's in charge...!"

"Unnie... please stop crying..." my throat hurts, "I... I won't cry anymore..."

Raina-unnie looks at me, her eyes are wide, "No! You have e-every single right to be yourself! You... you can cry... you can smile... you can do anything you want... I... I'll protect you... I swear...!"

Isn't that a lie?

He's always frowning no matter what I do.

I now know that I'm not allowed to be myself.

My room was quiet. Then Raina-unnie stopped crying.

"My... My 19th birthday is coming soon... Make me a promise... please?"

"What kind of promise?" I try not to sound curious. I thought that Raina-unnie might hate me for asking too much too.

"When I reach 19... let's... let's make enough money, and take care of the orphanage... that way that man won't do any more harm to you too... okay? I can't do it without help, and you're the second oldest child here so...?" Raina-unnie's smile was small.

"... How?"

"Well... I'm not sure... but do you promise?"

"I... promise..." my face feels like it's frozen. I'm too scared to show my emotions.

Raina-unnie hugged me, whispering, "It's okay... I'll be here for you..."

She was so warm... she reminded me of someone... and I cried.

Who is the one who truly loves me?

Am I allowed to be myself in front of them?