• Why not sacrifice for your happiness?                                                                         

                  ! Please read while listening to they dont know about us by one direction !

        If someone asks jiyong when is his worst time, jiyong would answer ‘now’. Jiyong hasn’t really talk with seungri since that night. Yes, they met a few times because of works but seungri has been acting differently to jiyong. Of course that is not seungri false, it is jiyong’s. Jiyong knows he should at least apologize to seungri and try to explain again but he doesn’t really know how to start. Like seungri said, jiyong is a coward. And there come more obstacle for their relationship, when the boss announce the plan of jiyong and youngbae solos. It makes jiyong and seungri more distance as they don’t really get to see each other. Jiyong has been really lonely these days. He just works day and night to relieve his stress. And he cant denies that he still misses seungri. He still cant forget his seungri.

       “annyeong uri jiyong-ah” jiyong was surprised to see youngbae in his studio. “what is the case?” jiyong said as he ruffles his hair. Trying to make it more clean in front of youngbae. “wow u looks really bad. Don’t u not take care of urself anymore?” youngbae asks as he takes a seat. Jiyong takes a glance at his face from the mirror. He was in a mess, his eyes looks lifeless and his beard has been growing long. He doesn’t even look like kwon jiyong. Of course without seungri, how can he still be kwon jiyong? but he try to remain cool “so what.. it is not like I m going out. I m here 24\7 so what’s the need to look good?” youngbae scoffs at jiyong. “really? u see all those staff here and trainee, even 2ne1 members sometime.. and u don’t think u need to look good?” jiyong sighed at his friend non-stopping nagging. “is only seungri important to u?” jiyong hands tremble to hear a name he hasn’t heard for so long. He couldn’t even open his mouth. “there is something wrong right? Between u two?” he turns his back to his friend. “it is not like that..” he mumbles. “what is not like that, huh? It is very clear that u two has fighted. What wrong? U can tell me” jiyong remembers that night, the image of seungri in tear.

            “i…I rejected him..” his friend couldn’t talk for a while. “why would you?” that was the question which jiyong doesn’t have an answer. Did he reject seungri for bigbang? Did he reject seungri for his family? Did he reject seungri for his fans? Or did he reject because he cant face the fact that he is in love with a man and don’t want to be looked by other people eyes filled with disgust? “because I m scared. I m scared that everything I have right now might change” jiyong frowns. “how would the people think of me.. think of us? They will judge us.. and I don’t want that. I don’t want to face things like that..” youngbae stands up. “I really cant understand u jiyong-ah” his friend was disappointed in him.. just like seungri was. “didn’t I do what I should?” jiyong wanted to hear a yes from his friend. “that.. only u will know.. for me.. I don’t know anymore” youngbae slightly squeeze jiyong shoulders as he went out. “did I regret it?” it was a question which jiyong knows the answer. But he doesn’t want to accept it.

            Jiyong blinks at the boss words. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. “why r u looking at me like that?” his boss questions him. Jiyong was flusters. “it is just.. hyung did u just said that I m doing a concert” his boss nodded. “why? Does that has problem?” of course no. Solo concert is not a problem. And he knows that plan from the start and preparing for it anyway. The problem is seungri. “so seungri is guest at my concert and he is coming to the rehearsal tomorrow” jiyong tries to confirm it. “yes so what?” jiyong looks at his hands avoiding the boss eyes. How can he face seungri alone? How can he do that? “I thought he would be so happy and start dancing to have seungri beside u, I thought it might cheer u up since u really seems down” jiyong smiles at his boss. A fake smile. “thank u hyung. I will do well” jiyong bowed and leave the room in mixed emotion. How would seungri react when he knows that? Will seungri not want to do that?

         The next day was an exciting day for jiyong. For the first time in these months, jiyong looks at mirror and try to prepare himself carefully. He shaves his beard and also combs his hair neatly. Jiyong wanted to meet seungri in the best state. After all, how long has it been that they have to meet each other alone. Jiyong gets to the stadium first as he wait at the waiting room for seungri. What should he say when he meet him. Should he just causally act close or should he just apologize? Jiyong was in a deep thought when seungri entered. Seungri was like always. He was beautiful. Seungri looks like he is living well unlike jiyong. Jiyong stands up and gives seungri a smile. “long time no see seungri-ah” jiyong can feel his heart trembling. “don’t worry” those were seungri first words. And seungri eyes turn into cold ones. “because I m a professional. I wont make things awkward” seungri voice was cold too. Jiyong feels so small in front of him. “ok.. thank you and..” jiyong was planning to apologize only to have disrupt by a staff saying that they are ready to rehearse.

        Seungri is right. Seungri is professional really professional. He acts like nothing is wrong and talk with jiyong and do some skinship too. But for jiyong it was hell because he can see that seungri wasn’t sincere in anything and his touches were cold too. Jiyong could feel his heart breaking whenever seungri gives him a fake smile. What has gone wrong? Jiyong wondered every time he looks at seungri. “Lunch break” as soon as that voice echo through the stadium, jiyong runs after seungri to talk with him. “seungri-ah should we eat together? Jajamyeon..?” jiyong asked remembering the time when he bought seungri a jajamyeon. He was hoping seungri to say yes. “I cant. I have to meet someone” seungri makes his voice was clear when he pronounce the word someone. And jiyong feels his world has collapsed.

         “..who..” jiyong try to muster his courage to ask that. He was afraid of what kind of answer seungri would give. “someone nice that I have been meeting these day. I will introduce when we reach that state” seungri smiles which look more like a smirk. “oh.. really” jiyong doesn’t know how many time has his heart been shutters in just one day. “u tell me to forget u, that’s why I m trying to do” jiyong wanted to cry. The words that seungri just said were too harsh. Is that the feeling seungri felt when he tells seungri to forget him? Jiyong is such a bad bastard. “then.. I will go..” seungri turns around. Does jiyong really have to let seungri go? Jiyong holds on to seungri. “I want to talk with u please” jiyong grips on seungri arm determined to talk with seungri. He doesn’t want to see seungri going to other people, not in front of him at least.

       They arrived to a park near the lake. It was a quiet park with no one is really there. Maybe it is because they are here in afternoon today especially seems to be really empty. Jiyong has been going here whenever he wants some alone time. And now he is with seungri. “what do u want to tell?” jiyong notices that seungri doesn’t even call him hyung the whole day. “are u.. really trying to forget me..?” jiyong stares at the lake, and ask a question to seungri who is beside him. “of course. U told me to forget u. aren’t u doing the same?” yes, he is. He is trying to forget seungri but he just cant. Should he lies? “I cant” jiyong doesn’t want to lie anymore. He doesn’t want seungri to forget him. “so what do u want to do?” seungri asks, his eyes shows that he truly wanted to know the answer. “… do u want to run away? If I ask u now, will u still follow me?” jiyong could feels wind blowing. He could feel shiver down his whole body. What is he going to do if seungri answers yes? Is he really going to run away? Can he even do that?

         “u say those kind of things and after that u are going to regret again” seungri take a breath. “please decide on what u want to do clearly. Don’t just go after the feeling..” seungri looks at him. “or should we do like that..” jiyong listens to seungri. “lets walk the park in different direction. Think about it on the way. If u want us to be together let meet here again. If u doesn’t want to please just go away” seungri waited for his reaction. Jiyong nodded in return. “and hyung.. even if one of us doesn’t choose to come back, let’s still continue to be friend. Lets just accept each other decision”

            Jiyong steps were heavy. Jiyong was walking each steps really slow. He hasn’t decide anything. Of course he want to stay with seungri but he is afraid of the outcome. People would call him gay. They would look down on him. They would think it is ridiculous. They might even ask them to break up. Or his family.. they will be againist it isn’t it? How can jiyong goes through those kind of thing. Jiyong looks up the sky. The weather is nice today. The sun is shining brightly. Just like how seungri smile is. Jiyong steps start to get faster. Yes, people may judge jiyong. They will not understand this relationship. But jiyong knows. Jiyong knows very much that he doesn’t want to lose seungri. He doesn’t want to stop the hugs between them nor the butterflies that jiyong gets from seungri. He doesn’t want to forget how seungri looks at him nor how seungri lips taste He doesn’t want to get over the conversation they shared nor the ‘saranghae’ that they said to each other in front of the other. Jiyong was running now. For sure jiyong doesn’t want to lose seungri. It ok if people don’t understand. But seungri is the one for jiyong and jiyong wanted to accept it now. He will never regret it.. after all seungri was the one jiyong has been loving for all these years even though jiyong doesn’t really know when he started loving his seungri. And now, jiyong is going to take this relationship to next level.

       When he arrived at the spot, he was surprised to see seungri already there. He stopped himself putting a distance between them. “why are u here alreay?” jiyong askes he was running so fast yet seungri is already here? “well.. I don’t even need to go. I have already decided since the start” jiyong chuckles. That guy like always love jiyong too much. “then how about u hyung? Why did u run so fast?” jiyong looks at seungri. Even from a distance, seungri eyes are still sparkling. “Because I wanted to see u as fast as possible” jiyong takes a long breath. He is going to do the right thing now and he will never regrets. “I really love u a lot” jiyong lets the words that he hide for a long time out. “Seungri-ah, LEE SEUNGRI we… SHOULD WE JUST DATE?” jiyong sees seungri lips going up as seungri gives him a sincere smiles. Seungri is happy. Seungri is happy because of him. “Let’s do that. LET’S DATE KWON JIYONG-SHI” and they both break into laughers.

       “what should I call u now..? jiyong oppa?” “umm.. for me I want to call u ‘mine’ ” “oh my god so cheesy hyung” “what hyung? U told me u will call me oppa” “nae nae kwon oppa” “ya.. mine”

Who cares about what other thinks, for kwon jiyong, lee seungri is enough.

So it is official next episode will be the final T.T

Thanks for all the supports and comments guys!

I really appreciate all those <3