• It is better for you to move on.

        “Good works everyone” jiyong shouted to the people in the hall and bowed to them. It was finally the end of their Alive tour. And it is obviously a success. “Ri u were good” jiyong smirk at his maknae. Seungri chuckle, “when was I never good?” seungri winked back. Jiyong cant help but smile at his adorable younger guy. “you are so…” “Seungri-shi” jiyong was interrupted by a female dancer who he cant really recognize. The girl was tall and quite beautiful. But jiyong definitely doesn’t like the girl eyes which are looking at seungri.

          “oh annyeong..” the girl smiles and bowed at him slightly and went back to seungri. “seungri-shi u r coming to after party right?” the way that girl is talking, jiyong was annoyed by it. “haha why r u calling me formally? Just call me seungri oppa, juna-ah” jiyong was more annoyed by the fact that seungri is flirting her back. “nae oppa” jiyong was glaring at both of them right now. “I m coming, u too right?” the girl nodded. “araso then see u there” seungri smiles at her and turns back to jiyong. Jiyong can see that seungri notices his jealous face. “why is ur face so annoyed hyung?” seungri asks him even though he already seems to know the answer. “well, nothing. But who is she? I don’t really know her” jiyong shoots a question instantly making seungri smiles slightly. “she is new dancer hyung, that’s why I m taking care of her” “what? Why do u need to take care? It isn’t even ur job” seungri cutely laughs. “I m taking care of her in case she met a tough senior like you hyung” seungri said as he walks away. But jiyong still doesn’t like the way those two are interacting. Is that what we call, jealously?

        For the after party, like always they book a whole club for all the staff and members. Everyone is having a great time. So does jiyong because he is with seungri. Seungri has been sticking with him since they arrived and not even goes around mingling with the girls. Jiyong likes that. “why so quiet today seungri-ah?” youngbae comes near them and takes a seat beside them. “just. I just feel like sitting today” seungri answer was a bit unclear. “why? Waiting for someone?” youngbae next question make jiyong blood pressure goes up. Does seungri really waiting for the juna girl? Jiyong saw seungri taking a saw glance at him before answering. “well, who knows?” seungri smirks. It feels like seungri is provoking jiyong jealousy.

         Jiyong drinks another glass of alcohol in one shot. He has really drunk a lot and it is now making him dizzy. “I m really drunk so I will be heading home first” he says goodbye to the other guys and stand up getting ready to go. Just then “Seungri oppa” jiyong definitely doesn’t enjoy hearing that voice. That girl was wearing a really short dress showing with a large amount of exposure of her body. Jiyong can see that seungri was pleasantly surprised to see too. “Oh juna. Wow you are killing the night” jiyong was boiling with jealously after hearing seungri compliment. Jiyong mind is full of swears toward that girl. “thank u oppa.. then can I be honoured a dance with you?” the girl slyly ask seungri out. Seungri doesn’t answer right away, he seems to be thinking something. “jiyong hyung” seungri suddenly calls him out. “goodbye hyung, let’s go juna-ah” seungri leads the girl to the dance floor. What is seungri doing right now? “oops that is awkward” youngbae jokes. Jiyong sits down right away. “didn’t you just say that u r going back?” youngbae asks with a laugh alongside. “I changed my mind” jiyong firmly said.

              Jiyong eyes were shooting out flames. Jiyong doesn’t even know how much he has drink more and stares at them. Yet those two were having a great time together. Laughing, dancing and touching. Jiyong cant help but be annoyed to hell. “wow seungri is really determined to make a dragon furious today” jiyong gulped down another glass of alcohol. He really cant take any more of those drinks. Because he is really dizzy as of now.  Jiyong cant even looks at things properly. He can only see his seungri with another girl. “you are drinking too much jiyong” jiyong can faintly hear his friend voice. “are you really dumb or something…instead of sitting down and stares at them like a mad man..” jiyong can see the scene happening there. The girl suddenly stares at seungri and come close to his face. “why don’t u just tell them u r jealous?” the girl was going to kiss his seungri. Youngbae is right. He needs to tell them. He needs to. “YA LEE SEUNGRI”    

           Jiyong doesn’t know how loud his voice is but it was loud enough for the DJ to stop his music. Jiyong can feels the every one there is looking at him. But he doesn’t care. The drunk jiyong doesn’t really care anything. Drunk jiyong just wants to tell them. “lee seungri why don’t… u know my… heart” jiyong hiccupped. “AND YOU” jiyong points straight at that juna girl who seems to be really surprised. “why do u keep getting close to seungri, u bad girl… Our seungri is so pure..you..you are seducing him right now..isnt it?” jiyong can hear his best friend laughing. “ya youngbae keep your mouth shut” jiyong dizzily warmed youngbae and turns at seungri. His seungri looks really beautiful today. Yes, seungri looks beautiful always. “seungri-ah” he calls out seungri even though seungri keeps disappearing out of his sight. “I.. I.. really.. like you a lot” and the next thing jiyong knows is he falls asleep.

          As soon as jiyong opens his eyes, jiyong can feel that his headache is really killing him. How much does he drink last night that he is in this state and he cant remember anything. The last thing jiyong remembers is he sitting back at the table because of seungri and juna. He cant remember anything afterward. He doesn’t remember how he gets back home. Jiyong gets up and goes straight to kitchen to drink some juice so it can help his headache better. “hyung” seungri was there preparing the table. “why are u here?” jiyong doesn’t remember seungri taking him back home yesterday. “come here first” jiyong follows seungri order and sit at the chair preparing to eat the hangover soup seungri has cooked. It was delicious and it makes jiyong headache better in a few moment. “wow so good” jiyong exclaimed. Seungri smiles.

         Jiyong can feel that seungri is looking at him. He glance at him back and surprised to see that seungri face was red. “what’s wrong ri? Why is ur face red?” jiyong asks immediately. “..nothing hyung.. just hot” seungri was hiding something. Jiyong knows. “so.. what happened yesterday?” jiyong tries to asks. “aish.. why did u drink so much? U cant even remember that” seungri frowns. “are you really dumb hyung?” seungri voice makes jiyong hears youngbae voice last night. Youngbae asks him the same question. That’s when everything hits jiyong. He confessed to seungri.. in front of everyone last night. Jiyong stands up quite taken back by his memories. “I can explain that” jiyong tries to defend himself. “it is that I drunk a lot and I wasn’t in the right mind. The confession, it is just because of alcohol seungri-ah” jiyong can see that seungri face darken hearing his words. Why? Does seungri.. perhaps?

        “So hyung is saying that u doesn’t mean anything u said yesterday serious?” seungri voice was cold. It even brought shivers to jiyong. “of course those were rubbish that come out because I m drunk” jiyong awkwardly try to laugh but seungri doesn’t laugh along. “rubbish.. really hyung? Why are u lying?” seungri looks straight at him. Seungri eyes were determined. Jiyong was shaken by seungri words. “it is absurd. Why do I need to lie? Do u really think that I like u seungri?” “Yes” seungri voice was loud and clearly. Jiyong can feel his heart beating a lot. Jiyong was scared. “no..” that’s all jiyong managed to say. “hyung expression, behavior, ur words. It is too obvious hyung” seungri stopped. Both of them were choking up on emotions. “why cant u accept it hyung? Hyung too loves me isn’t it?” too, it means that seungri feels the same way to him. Jiyong doesn’t know if he should be happy or what. It was too sudden and jiyong wasn’t ready for it.

       “are u being selfish right now too hyung? Do u not want to admit that..” seungri takes a deep breathe. “ u r in love with a man. U r in love with me?” jiyong couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I m not being selfish. I m being selfless seungri-ah. U think about it. If we become a couple and everyone knows about it, what would happens to bigbang? It would be the end. Think about the other 3 guys, think about ur family, think about our fans. Honestly, if I asks u to come with me and leave everything behind, u wont be able to do it either right?” “why not? I can do it. If there is hyung, if there is only hyung, I can give up everything. Isn’t that love?” at that moment, seungri answer shows that seungri was indeed the one who loves more between the two. “hyung.. u cant do it right..? yes right. Who am I kidding? Hyung is always like that. U r being a coward again. It was very hard for me too but u know hyung. My heart beats for that one person. I feel happy because of that one person. And that one person happens to be you. What can I do about that? I have to accept it. Why cant hyung do the same thing?” seungri eyes were teary now. Jiyong wanted to wipe away them and hug his seungri and say that he loves him so much. But jiyong knows that he shouldn’t be doing that. As the leader of bigbang, as the bread winner of his family, as the idol of his fan, he shouldn’t be doing that.

           “I..” jiyong controls his tears to not falls, and it was very hard. “I.. have no intention to accept the fact that I love you. AND I m going to forget you, that’s why… I hope u do the same” jiyong can feels his inside were burning. He was hurting. He was suffering. But he did what he should. He wont regret it. Seungri tears falls as jiyong stares at them wanting to wipe them. “actually if hyung doesn’t feel the same way, I wont be hurting this much and can forget u easily. BUT THEN hyung.. hyung loves me too yet..” seungri wipes his tears away and looks at jiyong. Seungri eyes were full of disappointment toward jiyong. “just one last question hyung.. does the kiss, is that too rubbish?” jiyong can feel his world destroyed just then. And his answer definitely destroyed his own life. “Yes” that one word was enough for seungri to run out of his house in tears. And jiyong was lifeless. What does he just done and the kiss..? God was playing some trick on jiyong because jiyong remember what happened afterward that night only after seungri left.

          “ya I said I m ok” jiyong try to shout at seungri who is taking him back to car after the mess he created. “I know hyung.. but I still need to take u back to home. U are really drunk hyung” seungri softly say back. “and whose fault is that? it is you, bad bastard. That happens because you try to make me jealous” seungri try to balance the drunk jiyong body. He was supporting jiyong with every energy he has left. “then hyung what you just said there..? is that true?” seungri asks back hopefully. “OFCOURSE” jiyong answers with no hesitation. “what did I even expect from a drunk person..?” seungri mumbles but jiyong caught that. “I might be drunk but I m very serious about everything” suddenly jiyong really seems like a normal person. “oh look at the stars, it is very beautiful right?” seungri nodded to jiyong sudden question. Jiyong looks back at seungri. “your eyes which shines like the star are also beautiful” jiyong touches seungri eyes. “ur eyebag which are dark are also beautiful. Ur nose is also beautiful and..” jiyong stops at seungri lips. “ur lips are… beautiful” jiyong said as he kisses seungri softly. And seungri returns the kiss. The kiss that they both waited for years is finally happening and it was amazing. “lee seungri you.. will you be mine?” jiyong question was also beautiful.

          Jiyong wondered if he remember that earlier, will the words he said to seungri will change? “no kwon jiyong, u r doing great. This is how it is supposed to be any way. You and seungri can never be together. That is the fact and it will never change” jiyong keeps saying those words. And Jiyong cried that night. Jiyong cried for so long.

If only we are not forbidden, if only u r not seungri and I m not jiyong, how great would that be?  

Today is such a sad day for VIP T-T

But i will be a loyal VIP and gonna stick with bigbang until whenever <3

Sooo enjoy today episode and sad news is i think the story is gonna end soon.

I m think of ending in episode 10 so yeah i need to say goodbye to my awesome readers very soon :(

But until then please continue supporting my story ~!