pairing: Jihyo x Sana

summary: Jealous Jihyo is a beast that should be left to sleep.

raiting: M (angry with complicated (?) feelings)

Sana dragged her feet up the stairs, or the feet dragged her. It was hard to concentrate on reality with her mind filled with clouds of fatigue. She loved her job as a model, but the days could be longer than she liked to admit to herself. It made her feel guilty being away so much when Jihyo had to play house by herself. Sure, the other woman was independent with many friends and could entertain herself but... Sana knew she didn't show up in their relationship as much as she should have.

She turned the key in the lock after a moment of gathering herself together. The muscles on her temple ached from pulling so many expressions during the day. She predicted that two deep lines of wrinkles would end up between her brows one day, but luckily that day was still ahead. Would she still model? She could almost imagine one of those elegant ladies posing in catalogues wearing predictable tailored clothing.

"I'm home," she said and closed the door behind her, breathing in the scent around her.

"Hey," came a voice from before her and Sana smiled as she saw Jihyo approaching. The younger woman was still in her smart working clothes, but the sleeves of her blouse had been bunched up to elbows.

"Hey," Sana whispered as Jihyo wrapped her arms around Sana's shoulders, pulling her in so that Sana could rest her head in the crook of Jihyo's neck.

"Long day, hm?"

"Yeah."

"I just got home myself," Jihyo said and Sana's back.

"Really?" Sana murmured, and the surprise barely moved her - she only wanted to hide herself under Jihyo's blouse, close to her warm skin. Curl up as small as she could and rest next to the heart of her loved one.

"Boss wanted us to get a few drinks after a good week. Just our team."

"No wonder you smell of alcohol," Sana snorted, hating herself for not being able to stop from teasing and ruining the perfect moment she only wanted to prolong.

"Hmph!"

Jihyo pulled away and gave Sana a mock-stern look before turning around and walking back to where she had come from, looking soberer than Sana felt herself to be.

"I love that skirt," Sana muttered to herself as her eyes refused to stop staring at her girl's backside. Even when Jihyo had turned the corner Sana still stood there staring. Finally, she snapped out of it and got rid of her jacket and shoes.

"Are you hungry?" Jihyo asked as Sana walked into the kitchen and settled down on one of the stools.

"Not really, just give me a smoothie."

Jihyo nodded and opened the fridge and took out a plastic bottle with green liquid. She handed it to Sana before sitting across from her, one sleeve of her blouse dropping back to cover a slim wrist.

They looked at each other for a moment, until Jihyo broke into a smile that Sana could only match with her own, albeit less dazzling one. Jihyo looked gorgeous with her light make-up and curly hair, so much more real than all the fake dazzle Sana had seen in the studio during the day. Looking at Jihyo soothed her tired eyes.

"How was the shoot?" Jihyo asked and hold out her hand until Sana took it. Jihyo circled Sana’s nails and cuticles with her fingertips like she was doing a pantomime of a manicure.

"It was okay," Sana said and took a sip of her drink. "We could've finished it all a lot faster."

"Funny how they don't ask you how to do it," Jihyo said and smiled a wry smile, drawing an invisible pattern on the back of Sana's hand with her finger.

"I know," Sana giggled and threw her head back, moving it from side to side and trying to get her neck to loosen up. "I know everything!"

Jihyo continued to smile and play with Sana's hand while Sana sipped on her smoothie, getting energy from the cold liquid and from the warm touch.

"Was Sunmi there?" Jihyo asked suddenly, gaze carefully trained on their linked hands.

"She was," Sana said and took a long gulp.

"Did she flirt again?"

Jihyo's face was unreadable and her eyes were down so that Sana could not see them properly. She considered her options: should she tell Jihyo the truth and make her worry more, or should she slip out a white lie and try to live with her own discomfort?

The silence was too long for her to choose.

"She did," she said and sighed, worried that Jihyo would pull her hand away. Instead she linked their fingers, squeezing Sana's hand in her own.

"Did it work?" Jihyo asked and lifted her gaze from their hands. Her eyes were burning with a dark fire that made Sana nervous.

"Jihyo," she said sternly, upset that her girlfriend would imply that. They had had the same conversation before and she hated how Jihyo had to poke the wound that would only make them both upset. It was like she couldn't help herself. It was such an illogical thing for Jihyo to do – usually she was the most sensible one in their relationship.

"Did it?"

"No," Sana said and pulled her own hand away, the waves of exhaustion engulfing her again. Jihyo looked at her hotly and even as she hurt Sana, she still looked beautiful in a way that made Sana her prisoner. Sana drank the rest of her smoothie in one go and got up, the stool leg scratching the floor louder than she intended.

"I'm going to bed," she said and left the kitchen, a burning sensation in her chest. She hated how Jihyo didn't trust her feelings for her. The woman couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Sana would want to love and be with a person who didn't have a modeling career like Sunmi did. Jihyo thought that it made no sense for Sana to want to be with an ordinary woman with a job in a regular company who was short and didn't have long legs. As if Sana herself was any different.

Angrily, she locked the bathroom door and began to wash the heavy layers of make up with freezing water. She used more force than necessary, but it was the only way to keep her eyes from stinging with bitter tears.

If only Sunmi hadn't come into her life and if only she had kept shut about her flirty co-worker. Sunmi had turned into an obsession for Jihyo who had never acted like a very jealous person before. The change had been so sudden and strange that Sana wasn't sure she knew the person she was dating anymore.

She dried her face with a towel and let her hair loose from a hasty ponytail. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and noted the dark circles under her eyes. A weekend would come in handy.

She got out of the bathroom and walked into the bedroom, taking off her hoodie and shivering as the cool air hit her tired body. When she saw Jihyo sitting on the bed, she slowed her steps by a fraction, emotions battling inside her.

Jihyo stood up and walked over to Sana who was trying not to look at her girlfriend, busying herself with taking off her clothes. Jihyo's hands took a hold of Sana's hips and she turned her around, until they were face to face.

"I'm sorry," Jihyo breathed out and dropped her head to place a kiss on Sana's bare shoulder. Sana shuddered at the contact, cold in nothing but a tank top and underwear.

"Just the thought of her..." Jihyo continued, peppering kisses over Sana's shoulder and neck.

"...staring at you..." Jihyo pulled at Sana's hips roughly, until their bodies where flush together. Sana bit her lip, the burn in her chest turning into a fire.

"...and talking to you..." Jihyo's hands sneaked under the fabric of Sana's top, nails scratching at her back.

"...like you don't belong to me..." Jihyo growled and bit at the junction of Sana's shoulder and neck so hard that Sana let out a pained whimper.

"...makes me so angry." Jihyo whispered the last words into Sana's ear, making the model dizzy with arousal. Sana turned her head to try and catch Jihyo's lips with her own but instead Jihyo pulled away and took Sana's arm, dragging her to bed.

Sana landed on the mattress, her neck aching where Jihyo had marked her. She looked up at Jihyo who was staring her down like a storm of nature, so angry and unpredictable.

Jihyo hitched her skirt up slowly, enough so that her legs could open wide without obstruction and then she straddled Sana, hands quickly taking hold of Sana's wandering ones. Sana whimpered as Jihyo pinned her down, holding her wrists above her head.

"I'm sorry, too," Sana sighed as Jihyo started to move her hips, still not letting Sana kiss her.

"You should be," Jihyo said, lips parted to give space to labored breathing. Sana pushed against her restraints, but Jihyo pushed back, locking Sana down with her body as if she was afraid that Sana might run.

"I know you like it that she wants you," Jihyo growled, pushing her hips down harder.

"No," Sana whimpered, hating how wet she was becoming even as her heart hurt.

"Don't lie to me," Jihyo said and leaned down almost kissing Sana.

"I'm not lying," Sana said and lifted her head, catching Jihyo's bottom lip between her teeth and biting down on it hard. Jihyo groaned and pulled back, her lip stretching painfully before Sana's teeth had to give up and let go of the luscious flesh.

"You're lying to both of us."

"You're the one who is lying to yourself," Sana said and stared straight into Jihyo's eyes. Suddenly, the woman on top let go of Sana's wrists and tried to get up, pulling her skirt down.

Sana let out a shaky breath, heart bounding and her core pulsing, confused and terrified. Before Jihyo could stand up, Sana gripped her left arm and pulled her back down so that their bodies were pushed together. Jihyo didn't resist, but she felt distant, gaze moving anywhere but Sana's eyes.

"I only want you," Sana snapped, her hold on Jihyo's arm tightening so much that it must have hurt, but Jihyo didn't even flinch. Sana was rarely angry but now she wanted to scream and shout to wake up the woman on top her. "Maybe it's you who doesn't want me anymore."

It worked. Jihyo came alive again.

"How dare you," Jihyo growled and twisted her arm free from Sana's death grip. Anyone could see the handprint there, even in the low light of the bedroom. Sana glanced at the mark, half proud and half mortified. Before she could comment on it, Jihyo wrapped her arms under Sana's back and hoisted her to the middle of the bed.

Jihyo crawled on top of her and bit down on Sana's chest through the thin layer of her top. Sana gasped through her teeth and tried to squirm away, but Jihyo was holding her down like a bear. Before she could prepare herself Jihyo had already clamped her teeth down on a spot under Sana's other . She was biting like she was going to tear the flesh off Sana's bones and all the model could do was moan.

Jihyo travelled the whole expanse of Sana's chest until it was a painfully pulsing constellation of oncoming bruises. One especially hard bite on a soft spot had made tears stream down Sana's cheeks. She tried to rub off the tears with the sheet under her head, but it was hard when she couldn't use her hands. Jihyo seemed to notice this and she lifted her head up to stare at Sana in the eye. Sana squirmed under the burning gaze, aware that she must have looked like a sorry mess.

Normally, Jihyo would have dried her eyes with kisses over Sana's face but this time she did nothing to help. She stayed where she was, like a Sphinx with a head full of riddles, waiting for you to get them wrong so she could bounce and eat you. Sana rubbed her thighs together, wanting to as badly as she wanted to cry. Only Jihyo could make the two feelings mix with each other like they belonged together.

"I hate you," Sana spat and felt angry again, but not in a way that made her feel stronger, only weaker.

"I know," Jihyo said and leaned down to press a hard kiss on Sana's lips. The older girl used all her talent to prolong the contact and when Jihyo's mouth opened like a furnace to tangle their tongues together, Sana wriggled her arms free from Jihyo's grip. One of them she wrapped around Jihyo's neck and the other she lowered down between their bodies.

Before Jihyo could do anything, Sana slipped her hand under Jihyo's skirt and underwear, gliding her fingers through slick hairs to her entrance. Unceremoniously, Sana slammed two fingers knuckle deep into her lover, making Jihyo moan into Sana's throat through their connected mouths.

Sana used the surprise to pick up a fast speed, pumping her fingers inside and out of Jihyo so hard her hand was becoming numb. Using her own body as extra strength, the back of her hand hit her own core with each . Jihyo was barely moving, only on to Sana's lips with her eyes squeezed. The younger woman was starting to close around Sana's fingers, so Sana pushed even harder, pain shooting up the whole length of her arm and all the way into her neck.

Sana slipped her hand into Jihyo's hair and pulled her ear close to . "I love you, you idiot."

Jihyo moaned louder and just as she was about to spasm around Sana's fingers she knocked her knee sharp between Sana's legs, making them both come at the same time. Sana with a surprised cry and Jihyo with a silent scream.

Moments passed, then minutes. Breathing changed from rapid shallow to calm deep. Sana stared at the ceiling, unsure if she was sleeping with her eyes open. Her hand was still inside Jihyo's underwear. She was afraid to move in case Jihyo would disappear from her arms, drift off to some other world only Jihyo knew.

"Love you," came a small murmur from next to Sana and Sana let her body relax. Jihyo would stay.

She pressed a small kiss on her girlfriend's hairline and walked to bathroom to wash up. Once she came back, Jihyo had undressed and was fast asleep on her side of the bed. Sana curled up next to her and threw the cover over them.

It was hard to say if anything had changed. Jihyo was still warm in her bed, but would she still doubt everything the next day? Sana wrapped Jihyo's hand around herself and wondered if she truly knew the other person. Were they just two strangers screaming from different sides of a mountain?

Sana pushed the thoughts away and drifted to sleep, certain that she would rather live in their shared chaos than embrace calm by herself.

A/N: Sahyo: puppies in love, all sunshine and shared ice cream.

Me: how do I make this angsty? (I know, I know. Send me your hate comments below:)