pairing: Jihyo x Nayeon

summary: Some days Jihyo can almost forget that they are a master and a servant.

A staircase spins in front of her eyes and she has to stop in the middle of it, hands holding tightly to a railing. She squeezes her eyes shut and curses herself for not eating a proper breakfast when she still had a chance. She feels like she is at the sea except that there is no trace of a cooling sea breeze or a smell of water.

She opens her eyes again and stares intently at the step in front of her feet and when she is sure that it won't slide from underneath her with the rest of the world, she continues upwards, sweat running down her neck as she does so.

"Park, get more cabbage!" the cook barks as soon as the heat from the kitchen hits her face. She allows herself a moment of disbelief before she turns back again, silently doing as she is told.

In the staircase, she meets one of the new male servants who skips every other step and runs up like a racing horse. He beams at her and she wonders what on earth is going on in this house and how he can remain energetic enough to smile like he means it.

She pulls open the heavy wooden door for what feels like the 50th time that day and finds little comfort from the slow, pale drizzle that greets her with wet hands. The rain and the sweat work together to make her feel even worse and as she descends into the coolness of the cellar she already knows that she will not survive this day without getting sick.

However, she would not mind laying down for a day or two with a mild flu but she is sure that her Lady would. Ever since she started at the Im household the young Lady of the house has gone barely half a day without her "precious" maid. Sometimes it seemed that Lady Nayeon could not even get out of the bed without her early morning greetings.

Well, she could only blame herself for that. Her mother had always warned her not to be too good or the Lady would attach herself into her servant like a leech and out every bit of her blood. Even as Jihyo doubted her mother's colorful words, she had to admit that underneath there must have been some truth to it.

As she comes back to the kitchen with a bucket full of cabbage, the cook looks like she might drop from exhaustion. Young female servants swarm about the room but do not seem to know what they ought to be doing, at least according to the cook who chides all of them every two minutes.

"Not that one, you silly girl!" the cook huffs at one of the quiet girls. "Do you want to poison the guests?"

It is a wonder that the household has managed to host these dinner parties for almost thirty years considering how the things are looking in the kitchen. If Jihyo had been able to decide she would have spent more time organizing beforehand and less time fooling around on the actual day of the event, but of course nobody ever asked her.

"His lordship wants to take a break from dining and ordered the next course to arrive an hour later," one of the waiters says as he pops in and for a moment the cook looks as if she will burst into tears.

"His lordship this, his lordship that," the cook mutters and sits down on one of the stools, her cheeks red from the heat of the oven. She looks so miserable that Jihyo pours water into a mug and gives it to the old cook. The woman takes it silently and drinks all of it in one go.

"What can I do?" Jihyo asks, resisting an urge to pat the woman on the shoulder - too much kindness would only turn her angry again.

Just as the cook is about to answer, the service bell on the ceiling begins to ring and as Jihyo lifts her gaze to see whose room it is, she can't help but stare at the sight with open.

"Not much," the cook says bitterly and gets up, acting as if it is Jihyo’s fault that her Lady happens to be ringing for her in the middle of the dinner.

Jihyo rushes out of the kitchen and has to lift the hems of her dress up so that she won't trip on the staircase. She knows that it probably isn't a matter of life and death but she cannot help but walk as fast as she can. As she moves from the servant's quarters upstairs she slows down enough to appear well-mannered. It wouldn't do to collide with one of the ladies or gentlemen in their own space. It would make her look like a measly little girl.

Jihyo knocks on her Lady's door, enjoying the coolness of the upstairs. Everything is quiet except for a faint sound of music drifting from the other side of the house. She wipes her brow quickly and curses herself for not cleaning her face and neck before she left the kitchen. It would be too late to do anything about that now.

"Come in."

Jihyo walks in to find her Ladyship standing in front of a mirror, looking as perfect as she did when she left her two hours ago. Jihyo had tried a new style for her Lady's hair and even as she tried to remain humble, secretly she thought that it looked beautiful on her. It helped that Lady Nayeon had a lovely hair to begin with - shiny and dark, always glossy against her rather pale skin.

If someone had ever looked like a lady, she certainly did.

"You requested, M'Lady," she says and tries not to smile too much as her Lady looks at her fondly. Lady Nayeon had always had an ability to make her almost forget that they were a master and a servant.

"I am afraid I tore one of my stockings," the Lady says and smiles like a child who is not a little bit sorry for what they have done.

Jihyo swallows a sigh and nods curtly.

"I will fetch a new pair," she says and disappears into the large dressing room. It doesn't take long for her to find the right box as she has organized everything herself. Sometimes her Lady would try to get something out herself but always leaving clear signs behind her - no matter how cunningly she tried to put everything back to where it was.

When she comes back Nayeon is already sitting on the chair and untying the hooks of her stockings. Jihyo doesn't say anything, only kneels down on the carpet floor and starts to roll down the stockings, trying not to tear them any more than they already have.

She has done this more times than she could possibly count but lately it has started to make her feel awkward. It is not so much the act itself but the way her Ladyship looks down on her when she kneels there, right in front of her. The Lady stares and sometimes she has even lifted a hand to touch the crown of Jihyo's head, pulling back at the last moment, trying to mask the movement as something entirely different. But she can see her.

Or maybe she is just losing it. Too little time to sleep, too much time to think.

"I received a gift," Nayeon says and extends her ankle while Jihyo starts to lift up the new stocking. The dark-haired beauty looks like she is enjoying herself, almost as if she doesn't want to go back to the party. Jihyo has given up on trying to understand her.

"What kind?" She tries to keep her hands from touching too much skin but even as she has practiced this a million times still her knuckles slide over the softest skin (made of swan feathers and pearls, she is sure of it).

"Sweets," Nayeon says and smiles. "Apparently they are from France."

Jihyo tries to think about what she knows about France but it comes down to very little. A country somewhere in Europe. The sort of knowledge that doesn't help her to do her job on the other side of the world in any way.

"I am yet to try them but I will once the party is over," she continues on, looking at her own reflection in the mirror and for once not at her maid. "You should have one, too." She looks down at that, as if she wants to see her reaction.

"It was a gift for your Ladyship, I do not want to-"

"Nonsense." The Lady raises her hand now that Jihyo has finished her task and this time she doesn't backtrack but let's her hand fall on Jihyo's shoulder. "You look like you could need one," she says and squeezes her shoulder. Jihyo tries not to look up but cannot help herself. Once their eyes meet the world is spinning again.

"My Lady, you should hurry. The guests-" Jihyo says and makes a desperate move with her hand. She picks up the old stockings as she gets up and waits for the Lady to dismiss her. Nothing happens.

After what feels like an eternity of Jihyo staring at the carpet under her feet and fiddling with the stockings in her hands, the Lady raises from her chair. Her movements remind Jihyo of a peacock.

"Do not let the cook take you away. Stay here and mend the stockings," she says with cool authority and as Jihyo feels guilty about not helping the others with the dinner a frown shows up on her face.

"You need to rest," Nayeon expands and moves closer, making it impossible not to smell perfume on her skin that Jihyo herself put there. She could pinpoint the exact pulse point with her fingers if she wanted.

She doesn't lift her gaze from the floor until the Lady is by the door but when she does, she marvels at her own creation. The Lady looks like a flower garden which has learned to talk and dance.

As the door closes Jihyo releases a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She walks into the dressing room and takes out the stockings that need mending. She is glad to be here in the cool, quiet place after running around for whole day.

By the time she is almost finished with the stockings there is a knock at the door.

"Miss, the cook is asking for you," a young servant girls says as she opens the door and realizes that the Lady is not around. "One of the girls fainted."

Jihyo sighs. She has heard her orders but there is no way that she can stay here when others are in need of help. She is going to get a scolding but right now she doesn't care. She has "rested" enough.

So she follows the girl and leaves hoping that she can get back before her Ladyship does.

-

"Didn't I tell you to stay here?" Nayeon demands as soon as Jihyo walks in. She is exhausted and would rather not hear the Lady's harsh words but she has no choice.

"There was an urgent need in the kitchen," she says, trying to protect herself at least a little. She doesn't deserve to be barked at, by every single person in the household. Even the cook had been vicious about her "slacking off", mending socks when there are thousands of other things to do.

"There is always an urgent need in the kitchen according to that old woman," Nayeon says, eyes like a sign of a storm. Jihyo's head pounds steadily, taking turns with her erratic heartbeat.

"I am here now," she says gently, hoping that her defeated tone melts the anger away. Yet, Nayeon doesn't look any less angry but she stays quiet, pursing her lips together.

Jihyo takes it as a sign to start taking down her hair and as the Lady sits down on her chair, Jihyo begins to pull down hairpins that are keeping the whole thing together. Curl after curl the hair is set free and Jihyo enjoys the simple task, letting her hands massage the Lady’s scalp that must have hurt from the way it has been pulled together - no matter how gently she always tried to put it up.

But as she has taken down all the pins and massages the nape of her Lady's neck, like she does every evening, her vision goes blurry. Her hands still and she breathes deeply, trying not to faint, but most importantly – trying not let it show.

"What is it?" Nayeon asks and opens her eyes that before were closed from pleasure. Jihyo sways a little, having closed her own eyes now, fighting the dizziness with all her might.

The Lady stands up and suddenly Jihyo finds herself sitting on the very chair her Lady had been sitting on just a moment ago. The role reversal doesn't make it any easier for her to try and concentrate on her breathing.

"This is why I told you to stay here," the Lady mutters and moves away to her mirror table. Jihyo keeps her eyes closed, afraid that if she opens them the world has turned upside down. Then the Lady is back and something is pressed against her lips.

"Eat it," Nayeon says and Jihyo opens to take in whatever the Lady is offering her. As soon as the object hits her tongue a sweet taste spreads in . In an instant she knows it to be the best thing she has ever tasted. It is so good that she almost forgets the dizziness. At least until she feels a cool hand on her forehead.

"You are burning up," Nayeon says and stands right behind her, one hand on her forehead and other one on her shoulder. If she were to lean back now, she could use the other woman as a chair back.

Jihyo can't help a sigh that escapes her lips.

It has been awhile since anyone has touched her or shown much concern for her and while her head doesn't spin as much as it did before she indulges in the moment, the sweet caramel resting on her tongue like a secret.

"I do not want you to overwork yourself like this," the Lady says quietly while her other hand loosens the fabric of Jihyo's dress at the front. A hand comes to rest on and she should probably feel terrified of such a position as the Lady pulls her back so that her head is resting against her stomach. is exposed and she is vulnerable, Nayeon could strangle her and she wouldn't be able to put up a fight.

"What will I do if you get sick?" the Lady muses, fingertips caressing the skin on Jihyo's throat. "I am quite helpless without you, as you well know."

She isn't sure whether it is the caramel in or something else but she trembles. She doesn't feel dizzy like she did before but otherwise she is too weak to get up from this ridiculous position and situation.

"There are others," she says out of curiosity and waits for the answer. The Lady doesn't answer but instead her hands move to the maid’s shoulders and turn her around so that soon they are facing each other, the Lady having crouched down in front of her.

"The others are not you," Nayeon says and cups Jihyo's cheeks. Jihyo is too weak to do anything but stare back but when the Lady's thumbs begin to inch closer to her lips she trembles again.

Now the thumbs are on her slightly parted lips and it takes everything she has not to kiss them.

“I only want you.”

The words shatter whatever haze she is in, and she bolts up, using the last remnants of self-control that she has.

"I will send for one of the girls. I am not well enough to carry on," Jihyo says and rushes out of the room, hoping that she will still have a job the next day.

“I mustn’t get you sick.”

-

That night, as she lays down on her narrow bed, she wonders about her mother's words. "Don't let the Lords seduce you." She never said anything about the ladies, she thinks and wipes her fever-stricken brow.

Maybe it had all been in hear head, the in-coming cold making her hallucinate about things that would seem laughable on any other day.

The dreams that follow her that night seem to support the theory. There is Lady Nayeon, wearing all imaginable dresses of the world and beyond, dancing like a bonfire. She is whispering things to her and even as she can’t hear the words, they still make her shiver.

When one dream ends, another begins and suddenly there are handsome men lined up, coming to offer sweets and flowers from other continents while she tries to tell them to stay away. Her Ladyship is busy, her Ladyship doesn’t want to see any-

“Drink this,” the cook says, pulling her back to reality in the middle of a nightmare she doesn’t understand the moment she is awake.

Jihyo reaches out for the mug and realizes that she is not sitting up herself, but is being lifted. The water rolls over her chin and down and she splutters.

“Shhh,” the cook soothes and she doesn’t know why. Is someone in the room crying?

Frowning, she falls back into the world full of insistent suitors and her dancing Lady.

-

Jihyo knocks lightly and when she hears a soft murmur of agreement she lets herself in, trying to ignore the fact that her palms are getting sweaty. It doesn’t feel like she hasn’t seen her Lady Nayeon for two weeks because the said Lady has been a frequent visitor in vivid dreams. So vivid that there seems to be a permanent reddish hue on her cheeks.

However, as the Lady turns around and looks at her with eyes full of emotion, the two weeks of sickness and absence suddenly seem far more plausible.

“Good morning, M’lady,” she says and tries to appear nonchalant, as if all of these little things she can see are not there. When she doesn’t get an answer back she steps closer, trying to somehow start from where they left off. But when she is close enough to touch, the Lady suddenly wakes up from her shocked state and springs forward, pulling her into her arms like a lover.

Jihyo gasps.

“I’ve missed you,” Nayeon breathes out and her hands move up and down her back, as if to assure herself that she really is here. Jihyo is so stunned that she doesn’t know what to say. Did the Lady think she was going to die? Clumsily she hugs back and waits for it all to be over so that her life can go back to what it was. So that everything can be normal again.

Nayeon pulls back but doesn’t let go, one arm still on her back while the other one is moving upwards and into her hair which has been pulled back so meticulously that it could survive a small storm.

This is a dream, this is a dream - she keeps repeating, but it makes no difference as Nayeon presses a kiss on her brow, lingering there so that Jihyo can feel her breath on her face. She closes her eyes and isn’t ready for it when Nayeon moves again. This time she presses a kiss on her right cheek and Jihyo can swear she can hear the Lady’s heartbeat in the way her breath is beating so quickly like a hummingbird’s wings.

Jihyo swallows.

When Nayeon moves for the third time she is expecting it, yearning for it to happen. If only for one more time and when she feels soft lips on her left cheek she knows that she is shaking.

Jihyo opens her eyes.

Nayeon’s eyes are glistening in the grey morning light and she looks younger than Jihyo has ever seen her looking. She gets a flash of another world where they could be equals, where they could stare at each other like this every day and not care about anything else. She feels the thought leaping from her heart and blinks when the emotion makes her breath catch.

And then it is gone.

Nayeon turns away and goes to sit down on her chair, looking like nothing has happened, waiting for her to do her duty like every morning.

“I was thinking of wearing the blue dress today,” the lady begins, her voice stable and cool.

“Ye-yes, M’lady,” she stammers and flees to the dressing room, trying to regain her composure. A moment ago she had wanted things to be normal again but now that she has gotten what she wished for, it makes her feel hollow.

I should have kissed her when I had the change, she thinks wildly as she takes down the right dress.

Coming back, she can see her Lady with a box full of sweets. Is it a new one or the one from before?

“Would you like one?” Nayeon asks, extending the box to her and watching her from under her eyelashes, rolling a caramel on her tongue.

“Would you like one?” A caramel? A kiss? An affair?

“Yes, My Lady,” she says and knows that her mother should have warned her about the ladies instead.

A/N: I am back! :3 Sorry I've been away for so long but I had no choice. :/ I hope this one was okay, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I probably didn't edit it enough so if there are a lot of mistakes I apologize. I Hope everyone is okay! xo