pairing: Jihyo x Momo

summary: A question keeps hanging in the air.

Jihyo drank from her cup and winced. She had forgotten to put sugar into her coffee. Any other day she would have gotten up from her seat and walked a few steps to the cupboard but not today.

“Do you know where the CDs are?” Momo asked from the bedroom, having to raise her voice so that Jihyo could hear her.

“Next to the DVDs, on the top shelf.”

“Found them!”

She had opened the window earlier as it was a beautiful day. Earlier in the morning the sun had burned too warmly but later in the afternoon the wind had picked up and as she now sat in the kitchen, the wind caressed her hair gently every now and then. A tree outside the window kept swaying and rustling, throwing elegant shadows on the table.

She spotted a little stain on the far end of the table and looked at it thoughtfully. Was it from another cup of coffee? Or maybe tea?

She had been more into coffee lately, whereas Momo liked tea and couldn’t even stand coffee.

A bird began to sing outside, taking a center stage from the cars that moved somewhere on the main street. Jihyo closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating on the sounds and the wind. When she thought about it hard enough she almost could have travelled to another corner of the world.

“Ouch!” came from the bedroom, sounding a lot like the Japanese girl had stuck her toe.

Jihyo opened her eyes again, a small smile ghosting her lips.

She took another sip from her bitter drink and heard her phone making a sound on the kitchen counter, indicating that it was finally charged. She looked at the screen that flashed bright for a few seconds before going dark again.

She would have to change the phone wallpaper.

“What happened to the books that I had?” Momo asked suddenly, appearing on the doorway.

She was wearing black baggy pants and a grey top, hair on a messy bun on top of her head. She looked effortlessly beautiful in a contemporary way: a young woman all muscle yet feminine at the same time. If someone had needed a heroine for a young adult movie she would have been right here, Jihyo thought.

“Didn’t Sana borrow them?”

Momo frowned, her thoughts showing on her face as clearly as the clouds in the sky.

“You’re right. She’s probably lost them by now,” she said and pursed her lips, turning on her heel and disappearing again into the other rooms.

Jihyo sighed, remembering the DVD box set that Sana had miraculously lost somewhere while moving to another apartment. Sometimes she wondered whether the Japanese girl was a magician in some way, just not aware of her own talents.

The phone made a noise again, this time for a message, but Jihyo left it be. It would probably be from Nayeon, asking her how she was. Just thinking about it made her feel like she hadn’t slept for 400 years.

She should have gotten up to help but she couldn’t find the energy anymore.

“- - no, I’m almost finished here. Yeah, I’ll call back when - -,“ Momo said to her phone.

A strong gust blew inside and made her shiver. It felt colder now, almost as if a ghost had entered the kitchen. She sat still, breathing as lightly as she could. Maybe if she wouldn’t move the ghost wouldn’t notice her there. Maybe if she wouldn’t move it would stop hurting so much.

“I’ll start packing the car now,” Momo said from the corridor, not talking on the phone anymore. She was talking to her.

Jihyo didn’t answer but only listened. The older girl took a box into her arms and walked out of the door, the sounds disappearing for a moment until Jihyo could hear the door opening outside on the street. The car made a squeaking sound and Momo opened the trunk and put a box inside. It all sounded so easy that there was no need for her anymore. The Japanese girl could do well on her own. She had always been the strong one anyway.

She kept listening until there were no things left in the foyer. It was amazing how easy it had been for the other girl to divide their stuff to the time when they weren’t together. In Jihyo’s mind the things that they owned were muddled now, she couldn’t have told which things belonged to her and which to Momo.

So, it was a good thing that Momo knew. Which was hers, which was Jihyo’s and how nothing was theirs anymore.

“I’m going now,” Momo said and appeared on the kitchen door. She was almost cheerful which was funny. She looked as if was on her way to a new adventure. Her very own adventure.

“Okay,” Jihyo said just like she had said ‘okay’ to everything in the past weeks. Everything was okay. Not amazing or fantastic, not awful or dreadful – just okay.

Momo turned around again, this time to go and leave for good. Something inside Jihyo woke up from the haze and she could feel it pulling her. Maybe the ghost had taken her by the hand.

“Wait!”

The older girl came back to the doorway, looking slightly surprised.

Maybe they could still save this, Jihyo thought. Had they really tried everything? All the fights and quiet days, it meant nothing now -or so it seemed. It didn’t matter that Jihyo had to live in Korea and that Momo had to go back to Japan. What was all that water between them?

Nothing, just water.

She wanted to ask, wanted to remind Momo. It had been wonderful, had it not? They had loved. She still did. Maybe Momo did, too?

Thousand things went through her mind but she didn’t manage to hold on to any of them. They slipped through and fell into the cracks of her mind.

“When is the flight again?” she asked meekly even as she knew the answer. It was ridiculous to act as if she had forgotten when the day had been nearing like a death penalty for weeks now.

“Next Tuesday,” Momo said, smiling like an old friend. Not a lover. “I’ll let you know when I get home.”

Home.

“Bye bye,” the Japanese girl said and opened the front door one last time.

“Bye.”

Jihyo listened as the door closed and then another opened outside. Heard the car door opening and closing. Heard the engine as it started and the wheels rolling on the tarmac. She listened until she could not hear the car anymore. She listened even after that, hearing nothing but the wind and the bird singing.

Something dropped into her coffee suddenly and she realized that the drink had gotten cold at some point.

Then she heard something breaking and the first sob in the empty apartment.

A/N: I made myself cry... Well done me?