pairing: Jihyo x Nayeon

summary: Practice makes perfect, they say. Yet no one ever said that the practice itself could be perfect.

 

 

 

Jihyo flops down to Nayeon’s bed as if she is in her own room, in her own house. The light blue color of the bedcover reminds her of the sky and it fits well with who Nayeon is: bright and pure, somehow always staying a child despite being her unnie.

 

Jihyo smooths the fabric with her fingers and wonders how she should proceed next.

 

Thankfully, Nayeon is still in the kitchen making hot chocolate so the younger girl has a little more time to gather her thoughts.

 

They’ve just come from karaoke, which is almost like a hobby to them. Every time life seems to be getting hard or stressful they will escape it together and disappear into their own little world of singing, fun and young foolishness.

 

Naturally, they had overdone it again. They always picked the biggest songs from the greatest divas. They would sing like there was no tomorrow – and by the end of it, they would come out with coarse voices and big grins.

 

That’s why they were getting hot chocolate – something to save their throats with.

 

Jihyo lays down and stares at the ceiling. She is still undecided about whether she should talk to Nayeon or not. Maybe it would be better to just let it be. Too much fuss about…

 

But then again she does need help…

 

And just then the older girl walks in carrying two mugs.

 

“Here we go,” Nayeon says and gives the other mug to Jihyo who sits up in order to hold it. The mug is covered with elegant flowers, whereas Nayeon’s mug has pictures of some childish cartoon characters. Somehow it is fitting that it is Jihyo who gets the grown-up one.

 

As soon as Jihyo gets a hold of the mug she raises it to her lips and sips.

 

“Ow, it’s hot.”

 

“Duh,” Nayeon says and smirks over the rim over her mug.

 

Deciding not to drink for the moment, Jihyo puts the mug on Nayeon’s bedside table.

 

Should she talk now?

 

No?

 

But then again…

 

“You are getting wrinkles quite fast if you keep frowning like that,” Nayeon interrupts her suddenly. Of course, Jihyo has forgotten that it is always a bad idea to be too thoughtful around Nayeon. She tries to cover it up by taking the mug and drinking, despite it being as hot as a moment ago.

 

It burns her tongue like hot iron.

 

“What is it?” Nayeon asks, this time slightly more seriously.

 

Jihyo puts the mug down again, feeling every cell in her body wanting to run, but where could she go?

 

“Well, um…” she starts, staring at the floor. Her palms are getting sweaty and it makes her feel even more nervous.

 

“Yes..?” the older drawls. She is clearly very much interested now, having abandoned her own hot chocolate, slightly leaning forward as if she could hear Jihyo’s thoughts that way.

 

“Is this about… Jinsun?”

 

Jihyo’s heart drops. She can’t escape this situation anymore, no matter what she would do. Nayeon wouldn’t give in until she got what she wanted.

 

“Yes,” she reluctantly admits.

 

Jinsun, aka Jihyo’s long time crush, had approached Jihyo a month ago. It had been out of the blue and movie-like. Jihyo had been walking alone to her next class when the boy had stopped to talk to her. Before that they had hardly even acknowledged each other – meaning that Jihyo had been staring at him every chance she could get while he was completely oblivious. Or so she had thought.

 

And now… They were sort of dating, which was something Jihyo couldn’t wrap her mind around. How could she be dating a guy like him? He with his easy charisma and ready smile, leaning against school walls like he was the king of the world and she – well, whatever she was.

 

At first she had been shy, which was quite unlike her normal self, but how could she act normally around a demigod like him? She had been afraid of saying the wrong thing, or sounding uncool and boring. But here she was, head over heels for the boy that she was actually dating. He liked her as well, but sometimes she wasn’t quite sure if he liked her quite as much – and that kept her cautious. She hoped that it would make her more attractive, when he would feel like he’d have to chase her every word and gaze, always sure that she might disappear into some secret world any moment.

 

So far they had only met in public places such as cafés. However, on Friday she would be going to his place as his parents were away.

 

Today was Wednesday.

 

Tomorrow would be Thursday.

 

Friday would be after that.

 

Jihyo was very nervous.

 

No, nervous would be a huge understatement.

 

“What do you know about,” Jihyo says, having to clear at the crucial moment: “kissing?”

 

There is a dead beat and then Nayeon bursts out laughing.

 

It isn’t unexpected, the whole thing is going exactly the way Jihyo had thought it would go and it annoys her. Nayeon is in stitches now, laying down on the bed, holding her abdomen as if she is afraid her guts would spill out from such laughter.

 

“Stop laughing,” Jihyo chides, slapping Nayeon’s arm. She is still annoyed, but it is hard not to laugh when Nayeon is being like that.

 

By the time the older girl finishes, Jihyo is trying really hard not to smile.

 

Nayeon sits up quickly, swishing her hair to one side in mock serious manner.

 

“What would you like to know?” she says with an aura of knowing it all.

 

A small part in Jihyo wants to strangle her.

 

“Be serious!”

 

“Okay, okay.” Nayeon corrects the way she is sitting, so that she can fully face Jihyo.

 

“Talk to me,” the older girl says, this time a lot more like a friend Jihyo needs and not like the least helpful person ever.

 

“Well…” Jihyo starts, words tripping over each other as they are trying to run past each other. “You know I’m going to Jinsun’s house on Friday…”

 

Nayeon nods, and to her credit she is serious.

 

“And I’m sure we’ll…you know, but the thing is… I haven’t really kissed him properly yet.” Jihyo hates talking about this, but she would just have to get it done now.

 

“I’ve kissed before, it’s not that,” she adds quickly. Nayeon knows more about her life than anyone else, but she needs to make sure that she doesn’t sound too inexperienced.

 

“It just never…”

 

“Mattered as much as it does now?” Nayeon finishes for her and once again Jihyo feels grateful that she has a friend who can understand her so well.

 

“Yeah.”

 

They sit in silence for a moment. Jihyo can almost hear Nayeon’s brain working and it is slightly nerve-wracking.

 

“I don’t really know what I could tell you that would help,” Nayeon says, sounding like she is talking about exams and not kissing.

 

Because Nayeon is two years her senior she has had a lot more experience with boys, which Jihyo knows well since they always share everything. When it comes to boys, Nayeon would always be Jihyo’s go-to unnie as it was easier to talk about these things with her than say, Jeongyeon.

 

It has been a while since Nayeon has had a boyfriend, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. She is sincerely supportive of Jihyo’s growing relationship with Jinsun, or at least that’s what she has said.

 

“You’ve kissed before,” Nayeon continues, interrupting Jihyo’s thoughts. “So, I don’t know…”

 

Jihyo hurries to help.

 

“I know, but I just wish I could know if… if I’m actually doing it right, or…”

 

Nayeon goes quiet and stares at Jihyo so much so that Jihyo starts to shift uncomfortably. She doesn’t like that look on Nayeon’s face. It always knows trouble.

 

“Well, there’s only one way to find out…” Nayeon says and drops her gaze suddenly.

 

Oh no… not that…

 

“But wouldn’t that be a bit awkward…” she answers, her own voice coming from somewhere far away. The walls of the room seem to be shrinking, as if they are trying to push her down. She feels light-headed.

 

“It’s up to you, of course,” Nayeon says softly and plays with the rim of her skirt.

 

The silence is thick.

 

Jihyo stares at her unnie’s face for the first time in what seems like forever. She is surprised at how little she has paid attention to her friend’s physical appearance.

 

Nayeon is pretty, Jihyo knows that. All the boys always like her and she can’t go anywhere without someone looking at her. It is easy to understand. She is slim and feminine, her eyes soft and inviting. There is really nothing not to like… and those lips that are always colored with the newest and finest lipstick colors…

 

“Yeah, well… why not,” Jihyo can hear herself saying. She is talking through a cloud of new thoughts that she will have to sort out tonight, while she will be lying in her bed, wondering what the hell has happened.

 

Nayeon lifts her gaze quickly, seemingly surprised that her friend has agreed so suddenly and without much embarrassed resistance. Jihyo looks bold and not scared like a moment ago.

 

“Okay,” Nayeon whispers. She shifts closer to her friend and places her hand on the younger girl’s cheek. Jihyo’s eyes are getting unreadable, but she doesn’t flinch.

 

“Whenever you want to stop just pull away,” the older girl says and Jihyo nods. Nayeon looks as if she is afraid that she might hurt Jihyo, which is silly. They are best friends. Jihyo would never feel as safe with anyone as she did with her. Why would she be doing this otherwise?

 

“Alright,” Nayeon says and searches Jihyo’s eyes for one last time. Nothing has changed.

 

When the older girl begins to come closer, Jihyo takes one last look on her lips and then closes her eyes. It will be more comfortable that way, she thinks.

 

Then she can feel heat radiating from the other girl, because she is so close. A thumb rubs against Jihyo’s cheek and a tiny part of her wonders if it is really necessary, but it feels good… Just like the tickle of Nayeon’s breath on her own parted lips. It is sort of frustrating how slow she is being. Jihyo is used to being the leading individual in all sorts of situations and even as she is nervous, she feels the need to take cont-

 

Nayeon’s brushes her lips against Jihyo’s.

 

A lightning bolt speeds from Jihyo’s stomach to the other parts of her body so that it makes her lips tremble. She feels it so powerfully that she is convinced that it must have been felt in the house next door. Yet everything stays quiet and the only sound is their breathing and her own blood rushing.

 

Nayeon begins to move her lips slowly and Jihyo tries to think about what she is supposed to do and not what she is feeling, but it is becoming incredibly difficult.

 

Jihyo turns her head slightly to one side and deepens the kiss.

 

The older girl seems stunned for a moment, but catches up fast. Their lips are dancing to some choreography that they are already familiar with, despite their owners being clueless about it.

 

Why does it feel like they’ve done this before?

 

Jihyo feels Nayeon’s hands coming to hold her face and suddenly she wants her to be even closer. Jihyo wraps her own hands around her unnie’s slim waist.

 

Neither of them seems to remember what the whole thing had been about in the first place and when Jihyo feels the bed under her back it doesn’t seem odd.

 

There’s nothing unnatural about Nayeon laying on top of her, kissing her like her lips are made of water after Nayeon has been stranded on a desert.

 

Jihyo’s hands travel restlessly over the older girl’s back. No matter what she does, she wants Nayeon to come closer, clos-

 

There’s a loud noise as someone closes a door next door with slightly too much force.

 

Nayeon jumps up from Jihyo’s arms and backs to the other end of the bed. Jihyo moves as quickly, using her elbows to help her sit up.

 

They are both breathless.

 

Jihyo can hear the cars as they pass by the house, oblivious and uncaring while she can’t even raise her eyes to meet her friend’s.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Nayeon finally says and Jihyo remembers that there is a boy called Jinsun.

 

However, the hot chocolate remains forgotten and now cold.

 

 

-

 

 

Jihyo stands in the subway, holding on to a railing, but not feeling it in her hands.

 

The subway car sways and she sways with it.

 

When it stops at a station people brush past her, but she doesn’t even acknowledge them. They are nothing but ants on their way to different places and meetings. Everyone is so sure of their own importance, or at least of their everlasting need to rush, because they are always late from something important.

 

She stares at a face reflected on the window surface. A girl’s face stares back at her, eyes wide and unblinking. Her hair has seen more peaceful days and the scarf around her neck looks haphazardly placed.

 

There’s a small smudge of pink lipstick on the corner of .

 

Jihyo wipes it quickly.

 

 

-

 

 

It’s Friday.

 

Jihyo finds herself from the couch at Jinsun’s house.

 

He holds her by the waist and kisses her with possessive lips and Jihyo can’t think clearly. Somehow she has ended up laying down on his parents’ couch, which is clearly expensive, but also rather uncomfortable. A belt buckle under his shirt keeps pressing on her thigh, which hurts a little.

 

She is burning.

 

Jihyo had gotten to his house five minutes too early, dressed up in a red blouse that is tucked underneath a black skirt. She had wanted to look a bit more grown-up and groomed, and not like she did at school and with her friends. She knew she looked good, but the outfit made her feel very self-aware.

 

At least Jinsun’s smile had been bright and appreciative.

 

They had drunk tea and talked for some time, which had been nice, but the elephant in the room had been getting bigger and bigger by each passing minute. In the end, Jihyo couldn’t have taken it anymore, so she kissed him.

 

Maybe the incident from the other day had made her slightly daring. He didn’t seem to mind.

 

Nayeon had said that she would fine so…

 

Stop thinking.

 

Jihyo breaks the kiss by turning her head to one side and he starts trailing kisses down her neck. She feels a wave of vulnerability under the storm of desire, but cannot find it in her to stop. It just feels too good…

 

Just maybe not as good as…

 

Jihyo snaps out of her overexcited haze and gently lays a hand on his shoulder and pushes it.

 

“Could we slow down a little?”

 

He goes still for a moment before he lifts his head to give a sweet kiss on her cheek.

 

“I’m sorry, I might have gotten a bit carried away,” he says and his eyes smile at her, making him look somehow younger.

 

He is so cute.

 

“Me, too,” Jihyo says and smiles. She pulls him closer and Jinsun rests his head on her chest. They lay like that and it’s peaceful and lovely. Jihyo plays with his hair and wonders how she could have been so shy around him at first.

 

Eventually, he falls asleep and Jihyo watches as the sunlight slowly changes its course in the room, spotlighting different things on its way across the horizon.

 

Jihyo can’t sleep.

 

 

-

 

 

Weeks pass by and their relationship becomes stable. Jihyo spends a lot of time at Jinsun’s house and even meets his parents. She is pleased that they are very nice to her and tries to come across as well-mannered as possible.

 

One day she is helping Jinsun’s mother in the kitchen as she overhears Jinsun and his father talking.

 

“She is a very lovely girl,” Jinsun’s father, warmth in his voice. “I’d make sure not to lose her, if I were you.”

 

It makes Jihyo smile.

 

Yet she has her blue moments every now and then. If she stops to think too much, a certain melancholy always seeps in. She tries to tell herself that it is just because she is stressed out from school and training, but she can never quite convince herself.

 

She keeps the thoughts hidden from others – there’s no point talking about them. She has no reason to be sad.

 

She should be happy.

 

 

-

 

 

One afternoon she is at Nayeon’s house for the first time in ages. Jihyo has spent most of her time with Jinsun and naturally it has taken a toll on the time she could have spent with her best friend.

 

Nayeon always tells her not to worry about it, but still it keeps bothering her.

 

So it’s a relief to get to spend time with her unnie and a welcome break from her boyfriend – that makes her feel a bit guilty, too.

 

When they go to bed that night, it’s already ridiculously late, but still they can’t stop talking. Jihyo feels like she has been quiet for years and finally she can let out all the things that she couldn’t have shared with anyone else. The others could never understand her like Nayeon did.

 

By the time Jihyo’s eyes are getting too heavy to keep open, she feels pleasantly free. So many of the things that have bothered her are gone now, because Nayeon has talked her through them gently. It’s almost like she can understand herself better after all of it.

 

“I got asked out yesterday,” Nayeon says, stifling a yawn.

 

Jihyo’s eyes fly open.

 

“But I said no. He is cute though,” the older girl continues, sounding like she is already half-asleep.

 

Jihyo stays mute.

 

“Anyways, goodnight!”

 

“Night,” Jihyo mutters.

 

Nayeon falls asleep fast, but Jihyo keeps tossing and turning well into the night.

 

Her chest feels heavy from secrets. Secrets that she is trying to keep from herself.

 

 

-

 

 

It’s a beautiful day.

 

Jihyo sits in a café and watches as people pass by behind the window.

 

The wind is on a playful mood, toying with people’s hair and clothing. A woman in a trench-coat and high heels hurries across the street and her long jet-black hair reminds her of Nayeon.

 

Jihyo swallows.

 

Just then Jinsun comes back with their order and places two cups of steaming coffee on the table. He is on a good mood and starts chatting about a trip he wants them to take. His eyes are bright and he has leaned over the table so that anyone in the room can tell that they are dating.

 

He looks perfect, Jihyo thinks painfully.

 

“…and then I thought we could take a train from-“

 

“I can’t,” Jihyo whispers. To her surprise, Jinsun hears her.

 

“What do you mean?” he asks, dumbfounded.

 

“I can’t do this anymore,” Jihyo says and the light in his eyes dies.

 

 

-

 

 

Jihyo walks down a corridor and zigzags her way through a crowd of pupils.

 

She doesn’t stop to greet anyone and walks quickly. She knows exactly where she is going and she couldn’t be stopped now. The headmaster could be yelling her name and she couldn’t care less.

 

When she turns around a corner, she can see a group of girls next to a classroom. They are all taller than she is and older. There’s an air of easy confidence around them, yet it isn’t hostile in any way. They are all very pretty, but they don’t seem to notice it themselves.

 

Jihyo wishes she could be a little like them.

 

In the middle of the group is Nayeon, laughing at some silly joke one of the other girls has said. Nayeon’s smile is wide and laughter so bright that it makes Jihyo smile, too.

 

Yet she doesn’t have time to reflect now, or to be self-conscious. She walks to where they are and flashes her best smile. Some of the girls look surprised, but no one as surprised as Nayeon.

 

“Jihyo, what are-“ she tries.

 

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to borrow Nayeon unnie for a minute,” she says and curls her fingers around Nayeon’s wrist. “I promise to return her soon.”

 

Jihyo winks at them and doesn’t stay to wait for any replies or whatever Nayeon has to say.

 

She pulls the older girl with her and knows that she will follow.

 

Jihyo walks as quickly as before and Nayeon has a hard time keeping up.

 

“What has gotten into you?” Nayeon says, laughter in her voice.

 

Jihyo doesn’t answer as they have reached their destination. The younger girl pulls a door open and walks in, still pulling Nayeon with her. Once they are inside she finally lets go of the older girl and closes the door.

 

The particular classroom they are in is rather dark, the only light is the one coming from the other side of the room where one window has its curtains drawn open.

 

Nayeon looks amused and not annoyed like Jihyo thought she might be, but it doesn’t matter now.

 

“What’s all this?” Nayeon asks, making a circling motion with her hands to draw attention to their surroundings.

 

“I broke up with Jinsun,” Jihyo says, matter-of-factly.

 

Nayeon looks like Jihyo has just turned into a squirrel right in front of her eyes.

 

“You what? When? Wh-“

 

“So I could do this,” Jihyo says and kisses Nayeon before she can list all the question words ever created.

 

For a heartbeat Jihyo is terrified that Nayeon will push her away, but instead she pulls Jihyo closer.

 

The kiss is as soft as a flower pedal and as fierce as high fever.

 

This is what the practice was for.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Hello, hello! Any thoughts? Also, if there is a Jihyo-pairing you lovely readers would like to read about, let me know. All sorts of ideas are welcome! I can't promise that I will do everything you ask, but you never know. ;)