It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, Jimin had been buried under blankets on the couch watching re-runs of her favorite show, Infinite Challenge when she got a phone call.

               The other voice on the line sounded like honey, his voice deep and illuminated,

               “Can I see you? I’m outside your dorm,” he asked.

               “Huh? What for oppa?” she replied cautiously.

               “Just for a minute, please,’ he begged.

               “Okay, be out soon.”

               That’s how it began. That’s how Jimin fell for Wonho. He coaxed her into falling in love with him, but he never wanted her. She didn’t expect much from him, matter of fact – she never expected anything.

               She thought back to the days when they would lounge in her bedroom, entangled in one another’s warmth as she would tell him at least a dozen times she loved him.

               He watched her with his bedroom eyes, cupping her cheeks before bringing her in for a kiss and murmuring softly and gently,

               “I love you too,”

               The three simple words she yearned for from him she would receive so readily. It was a strange relationship they had. She was his wholeheartedly, while he was hers for a given amount of minutes – but she wanted more. There was never exclusivity in their relationship, but it didn't stop her from craving it. Often, she took initiative and would ask him out only for him to deny her and respond that what they had currently was good enough – what they had was fulfilling enough. But she wanted to him to be solely hers. She knew he saw other girls, she knew she wasn’t special, but those nights he spent in her dorm told her otherwise. The sugar coated words he said to her made her feel otherwise. Jimin wasn’t this type of girl though, to be so hung up on a guy and be so intoxicated with lust and yearning – but he made her this way. She often found herself waiting weeks just for a call from him.

               After a certain point, they hadn’t spoken or seen each other in months. She watched him on TV of course, or she would search up any news about him she could. She would re-watch shows he would appear on, Jimin was obsessive. She prayed his group would come to the studio, at least it would be enough to give her glimpses of him. Maybe remind him that she was still here, maybe he had forgotten. Jimin’s efforts went to waste though, she never did hear back from him nor did it seem like she was ever going to.

               Jimin was losing hope, she confided in her friends about this secretive, one-sided relationship she had with him. Her friends, Yerin and Solbin, much more responsible and experienced gave her sage advice. He wasn’t worth it, he wasn’t worth the wait, effort or change. That he wasn’t worth the mulling over because he could never give her what she desired. A relationship. A healthy, devoted, relationship. It was clear as day to everyone else, but she had convinced herself otherwise.

               The things he told her, the promises he made, they rotated on repeat in her mind, she was assured he would keep them. But as much as she didn’t want to admit it, it was true. She wasn’t happy remaining within the boundaries, she craved for something more. It was a strange sadness inside of her that made her realize it, it composed of bitterness and lust. It was what kept her afloat in a limbo. It made her realize that she would never be good enough for him, maybe that’s why he didn’t want her.

               Jimin always hated the kind of person she became when it came to him. She was the kind of person she resented, someone who was pathetic and no longer herself. She was a boisterous and happy individual, but for Wonho she often found herself sacrificing her own needs for his. She didn't know when or how she had let her true self become so lost. Thus, she made up her mind and stopped. She ended it, just like that. She stopped seeing him, calling him, texting him, searching for him. She avoided all things that had to do with Shin Hoseok. But there he was, always wandering in the back of her mind. And there he was, standing at least ten feet ahead of her at this very moment. 

               Jimin saw him before he saw her. One hand was running through his hair, while the other helped support his weight against the table meant for refreshments. Wonho looked almost picturesque except for the fact that he was so seemingly displaced in this formal setting. He didn’t take his piercings out, he wasn’t wearing a tuxedo like everyone else, his hair wasn’t perfectly tousled – it was messy. She thought to herself that he looked like he had lost some weight since she last saw him. His cheeks were sunken in; she could imagine how he reeked of cigarettes. Nonetheless, she continued to stare. Her stare could have borne holes into him, but his eyes were fixated towards something in front of him. He must have known she was here, they had mutual friends after all. How could he not have known? She thought of approaching him, just to play nice. But then she noticed the glint in his eyes, then she noticed a soft smile form against his lips.

               A woman came over and draped herself against his chest, a sense of belonging th