October 4, 2015:

Minhee's POV:

They say there are far, far better things ahead of us than those we leave behind. But when you're probably living the best moments of your life, it becomes tough to let it go sometimes. That's the only reason why I tried my best to hold onto the memories I made with Mingyu, I tried my best to apologise to him for the crazy mess that I've created but nothing's changed, and I hate the fact that he's doing fine without me. Everything is so different between us, it's like all the little things that made us have died a painful death. And I don't know who's to be blamed for that.

I'm done, I'm done texting him first. I'm done hoping he'll call me back and forgive me. And I'm done crying myself to sleep hoping for a better day to come soon. He isn't just worth it anymore. 

So basically I've stopped over thinking about that matter. Rather than imagining the what ifs in my mind, I'm just trying to move on. But it's not that easy, you know. You can miss someone who died or someone who moved away. But the hardest is when you miss someone you see everyday, the one who made you feel special yesterday makes you feel so unwanted today. 

Anyways, it's better to just quietly miss someone rather than to let them know and get no response. 

I my bag to get the badge for the test. Gosh, I've started to think about that matter again. There are so many things to worry about right now, our monthly dance evaluation is about to begin after couple of minutes. But the dance trainer is taking her time to come to the practice room today. Surprisingly, for the first time in my trainee life, I'm confident of doing well in this test. I've worked hard for months to subjugate the dance moves to present a satisfactory performance.

"Good morning, everyone",  our dance teacher says as she enters the room, "How's your preparation for the big day?"

My mouth gets dry and the goosebumps become visible on my arms. I try not to become nervous but the atmosphere itself gets scarier as time passes by.

"Let's not waste any time," she says as she takes the seat in front of us. and our monthly dance evaluation starts with a group dance, it's a cover of a famous girl group song, but we've rearranged it smartly so that the attractions and the originality don't fade away. It has become mainly hip hop based genre.

Jihyeon kicks off the performance, with her amazing dance moves. Damn, this girl can dance really well, I think as I enter the stage from the left side. There are 7 of us, who's been currently trained in pledis. I try to keep balance with others, while presenting the sharp moves and body waves. 

Did I have any idea couple of months ago that I have to dance and sing like that in one point of my life? life is full of uncertainty, indeed.

I try to ignore the thoughts that come to my mind while performing, as I have to maintain facial expressions as well. Approximately after 4 minutes of dancing, we all pant like crazy when we're done with our final move but all of us try to maintain a badass image while standing straight in our position at the end of the performance.

It has ended successfully, what a relief! I pat at my head mentally for not making any mistakes like I used to.

"That was better than last time, keep it up," our dance teacher cheers.

But the scariest part is about to begin now, it's time to perform the solos. I've practiced so hard, I can't disappoint the teacher this time.

"Okay, get yourself in your position," she shouts at us, "Begin the performance according to the numbers that written on your badge." 

I'm number 3, two performances to go before my turn comes up.

Boyoung got the first badge, she takes her position. Eunji, the new trainee who's been here with us probably for a month, is near the sound system to monitor the music. Getting the ready signal from Boyoung, she's about to start the music, but someone slams the door open.

Our attention shifts to the door. 

I can see hoshi's head peeping from the corner of the open door, if he's checking out whether the room is vacant or not. i don't know why, but probably seeing so many girls together in one room, he gets shy and hurries away to hide himself from being noticed, but it's too late.

"HOSHI!", the dance teacher shouts his name, "come inside."

The girls start giggling as Hoshi enters the room, his face turning red from the embarrassment. But then we all become silent as we see S.Coups, Wonwoo, Mingyu and Joshua following him. What are they doing in our practice room?

We all greet each other awkwardly and they explain the reason behind their sudden appearance. basically the assistant CEO has some announcement to make in front of us, he said he'll need them for some important stuff. Only God knows what he's planning this time.

They take seats as the teacher asks them to do. Obviously they'll  get some extra special treatment after debuting. They're now celebrities, after all.

Rather than being nervous of the announcement he's going to make, I start to feel relieved. Seems like we don't have to perform the solo stages right now. YES! I can't thank them enough for that.

But obviously, someone has to ruin everything. 

Jihyeon asks the teacher, "Saeseongnim, seems like we can't continue doing our evaluation test today."

! This girl!!

UGH.

"Why? you have to perform today," the teacher says in a serious tone, "It's the monthly evaluation test after all. And your sunbaenims are here in front you guys, what an amazing opportunity to show them the moves you got. And it seems like Hae Chang-sshi will take some time before coming here."

wait, what?

WHAT? 

My mind can't function the words that she just said. Dance and in front of seventeen? Is she out of her mind?

"So they're going through evaluation test right now! man, I really miss those days," Hoshi looks at the members as they nod nostalgically, "They must've been preparing a lot."

He looks at us smilingly and before I can signal him to stop making this happen, he shifts his gaze to the teacher, " But to see their genuine moves, I think freestyle dancing is the best way. Ah it's gonna be really exciting!"

"That's a really amazing idea, let's go with it." Even the teacher seems to be overjoyed by the proposal.

Wow! Great.

dance. life. everything. 

The feeling when you don't even know what the you're feeling, I'm in that kind of trauma right now.

I pull myself together and pray to god for showing mercy on me. I can't, i just can't do that in front of them. Oh my god, this is gonna be so embarrassing. I can sense the heat on my cheeks already. What am I supposed to do now?

I think of leering at mingyu to check if he has figured out what's going on in this room right now. The moment I avert my gaze on him, I see him already looking at me, a huge smirk on that face. Why is he having fun while watching me suffer like that?

Instead of being too embarrassed, I can feel anger surging through my body. 

WHY HOSHI!! WHY???? 

I like and trust him so much that I start to feel deceived. 

Freestyle dancing? My .

I look around myself, everyone looks nervous and awkward but only Jihyeon looks confident, of course. I can't even imagine how happy she is, finally she'll be able to impress Mingyu with those moves. seems like god is being too kind to her today.

"Put the playlist on shuffle, let's see what you've got," the teacher exclaims. 

What am I supposed to show you guys when I have nothing? Even I feel like laughing at myself. That's how pathetic my life is right now.

Boyoung goes first, she gets a pop song which is upbeat and funky, which matches the kind of music she listens to. Everyone cheers on her even though she gets stuck couple of times. 

At least she's dancing, and there's me who's planning to just stand there like a retard. 

After that, it's Jihyeon. A soft ballad song starts playing and it doesn't take her time to catch the rhythm. The moves, the waves, the expressions, the room is just on fire. I can see Mingyu's mouth wide open, enjoying the performance to the fullest. She's trying hard to be hot, and it would be a lie if i say that it isn't working. 

"Jerk," I mumble under my breath, while looking at Mingyu who's deeply enjoying the steamy performance right now. But suddenly, my mind goes empty and I feel numb, I'm number 3. I'm supposed to perform after that.

What to do? What to do...?

Soon, my turn comes up. As the next song blares loudly out of the speaker, every single person of the room bursts into laughter. 

"Ne eongdeonggiga joha, hyeoggeuchi nan joha, neh misoga joha joha..." [I like your ... i like your tongue... and your smile, i like it]

WHAT THE???

Is God punishing me for any of my past sins? ugh.

I look at the boys, they're all laughing hard and I squeeze my eyes shut, I have to come up with dance moves as soon as possible but my mind goes all blank. I could listen to Hoshi Wonwoo and others cheering on me but Jihyeon set the standards so high that even if i try to give my best, I'll look like a loser anyways. But it's better to at least try, right?

I can do it, I can definitely do it. 

Focus, Minhee, focus.

I make up my mind and take the position with the body gesture, my eyes are still closed. Before Incan actually perform the first move that I was planning, the music stops. I open my eyes the very second, where I see everyone standing from their seats and bowing the assistant CEO who's entered the room and currently looking at me, "I'm really glad that you're working this hard as a trainee."

Dear god, I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for saving me today.

I bow and smile back at him. I can feel Jihyeon's glare from the other side of the room. Seems like god is kinder to me this time, I laugh in my head. She should stick to please Mingyu, I don't even care.

We all gather separately in two teams in front of Mr Chang Hae as he takes his seat with some of the managers. This must be something really important, I've never seen them gathering us together for making an announcement like that in the past few months of my trainee life. My mouth gets dry and I can feel my stomach somersaulting. Why am having the same feelings that I used to have on the previous night of my annual test results?

Finally, he speaks up, "As you know, I'm here to make an announcement to y'all. Do you have any idea about it yet?"

We all remain silent, how are we supposed to know that anyways?

He continues, "One of the big three entertainments has arranged a party for the female trainees; not exactly a party, it's like a beauty pageant, if that makes sense."

This is supposed to be a good news, right? 

I look around myself to make sure whether I should be happy or not. Everyone of the trainees has a grin in their face, but all of the members of seventeen look confused.

Of course, they would be. I can't help myself giggling, what are they gonna do in a beauty pageant anyways?

"But sir," S.Coups is at a loss, "What's the point of asking for our help? It's not like we can take part in it or anything."

"Patience, seungcheol, patience," he nods his head, leaving S.Coups embarrassed, "There is a valid reason for you guys to be here, I'll explain that to you soon. But first I need to figure something out. All of the members of seventeen who're present here are 97 liner or above, right?"

All of them nod awkwardly, knowing the fact that all eyes on them right now. Man, how have I never noticed something so obvious like that?

"Well, trainees who are 97 liner or above among you guys, please move forward."

Five of us come forward, sheepishly. No wonder why only five of them came here today! The CEO probably has planned everything already.

"Five of you, as I thought," he says triumphantly, but his voice gets hoarse in the next second,"But let me make something really clear to you, the contest is like a party for female trainees who'll debut soon, so there will be no media or any other ways to get it in front of the general public. Basically the plan is to provide an opportunity to the trainees to flourish in a bigger platform and get recognised by other idols before debut, am I clear?"

What the heck? What is he even saying? Does that even make sense?

Then what's the point of dragging Seventeen in this ty matter?

"Now let me explain you why I got your sunbaes here," he says without pausing, leaving us all puzzled, "The contest consists of looks and obviously, talent. There'll be a ball dance, where you have to take part with a partner. They chose ball dancing to show the elegant and classy side of women, so obviously it depends mostly on you, you can choose anyone you want to go with but to be honest, the partner plays a great role here as well. I'm sure every trainees from the big entertainments will somehow manage to get celebrities to them. Even though it's an open invitation if you wanna take part in this contest or not, I just wanted to make sure that you guys try your best and we don't want you to leave any stone unturned."

He couldn't even finish the last sentence, whispers get louder in the room and everyone literally starts blabbering in shocked face, ignoring him totally. Even the Seventeen members look so unwilling and pissed about the issue, I start to feel bad about them. 

Why am I a 96liner! 

Ugh.

Anyways, so basically there's gonna be a party where we have to perform ball dance with our partners in front of everyone as individuals. And we have to choose someone from Seventeen who are currently standing here?

WAIT, BY ANY CHANCE?

NO NO NO, THIS CAN'T HAPPEN. OH MY GOD!!

The visions of my dream that I had couple of days ago, comes rushing to my mind. 

Mingyu and I, dancing together, he pulling me against his chest and us getting closer? NO. it's just a no from me.

But this is supposed to happen, right?

Apparently, my dream was real, all along. Anyone cannot possibly imagine exactly how much I hate myself for liking the idea of us dancing together. I wanna hate it so much, I wanna hate him so much right now, I can't even explain.

But finally, he'll start talking to me. I don't have to feel suffocated without him being near. Why do I miss him so much?

I really have to get over this feeling. I can't let this happen to me. 

Breathe, Minhee, breathe. Everything's gonna be alright.

"Let's start choosing your partner without wasting any time," Mr Chang Hae speaks up, without giving anyone a scope to protest, "as the sunbaes, I'll give the opportunity to seventeen to respectively choose the person they'd like to go with. Let's start from Mingyu."

Staring at the floor, I can feel the extra circulation of blood in my cheeks as he mentions Mingyu's name. How is he gonna call out my name? Is he gonna say Minhee or Kim Minhee? I don't know, I don't wanna think about anything else. But it's gonna be awkward for him to talk to me after such a long time, right?

Why isn't he saying anything? I avert my gaze to him and right at the moment, our eyes meet. I wanna look away but the way he's staring at me after such a long time, it gives me butterflies. 

"Lee Jihyeon," he announces finally, "I choose Lee Jihyeon."

Jihyeon? he picked Jihyeon?

Not me?

I can feel the reality of my dream crashing down, piece by piece around me, and all I can do is to watch. He chose Jihyeon over me. I'm not jealous, no, not at all. But why did he do that? I thought we were close enough, but seems like I'm wrong. 

I just don't know this Mingyu anymore. 

Jihyeon takes the place near him with a huge grin in her face, finally she got noticed by the love of her life. They indeed look good together, I look away from them. From him. 

"S.Coups is next," says Mr Chang Hae and I squeeze my eyes shut. 

Is he gonna choose me? I hope he does. I really have to show Mingyu that I can do complete fine without him. 

"I choose......" he finally speaks up, setting his gaze to her, "Eunji..."

oh my god. 

Did he just pick eunji? 

Shame and humiliation washes through me as I turn beet red. I open my eyes but my vision gets blurry, not because I'm afraid that I'll be left to be chosen by any of them at last, it's just eunji has joined this company last month, how come S.Coups just picked her out of context?

I try to tell myself that i don't need anyone but the truth is, they don't need me. I am and will always be just a staff for them, nothing more, nothing less.

I try my best to dry my tears. it's not just worth it anymore.

"Wonwoo," Mr Hae Chang goes but I don't know how to react or what to think right now. I look at him, and he's already staring, his eyes are lonely and his expression placid as usual but I feel the warmth that I've been looking for a long time. 

"Minhee, i wanna be with Kim Minhee..." his voice is gentle, and it becomes harder for me to control my tears from falling down. I'm grateful to him for so many things, but I'm even more grateful to god for sending him in my life. No matter how sure you are that a friend will be there for you, it's the greatest feeling when the time comes and they're actually there.

Thank you, Jeon Wonwoo. 

Before I could take my place in front of Wonwoo, I hear Hoshi huffing to him, "Ugh wonwoo, what am I supposed to do now? I wanted to choose her, I don't know any of their names who are left."

Hoshi's just being Hoshi. I start to giggle. 

Suddenly I can feel the motivation of working hard, working so hard that I can make others regret their decision of not choosing me.

I'm sure I can make it happen, with wonwoo beside me, can't I?

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

It's been couple of hours and we've been practicing together since the assistant CEO left the room. Apparently we have only a week left for the contest and he really wants us to achieve something as many talented trainees are going to take part there.

I grab the water bottle from the table and sit beside Wonwoo in one corner of the room, others are either practicing or talking right now. 

"I feel sad after squashing Hoshi's hopes," Wonwoo jokes, " Look how he's struggling to get along with his partner."

I look at him in awe, he's actually struggling a lot but this is Hoshi we're talking about, he'll definitely make his partner win this contest no matter what happens. He's the best when it comes to dance and performance.

My attention shifts to S.Coups and Eunji. "They look kinda awkward together, don't you think?", I ask Wonwoo while pointing them, "I wonder why he chose her anyways."

I'm not jealous, I swear.

"Honestly speaking, I'm not even surprised, he's been crushing on this girl ever since the first day they met.", explains Wonwoo. 

What the heck? Am I the only one who doesn't know about it?

I feel a little pain surging through me. I mean, i've been crushing on him from the moment i joined the company, obviously this is gonna be painful for me. but I knew all along that i have a hopeless crush on someone i have no chance with.

But then again, for a moment, I get confused on which is bothering me more, S.Coups' crushing news or Mingyu dancing intimately with Jihyeon?

"But I can't figure out one thing," Wonwoo continues, this time he's looking at me, "Why did Mingyu choose her? I was pretty sure he'd choose you."

"I'm glad he didn't choose me," i reply while glaring at Mingyu. 

Of course he'd choose Jihyeon, she's way more pretty, hot, she dances really well. she's more attractive than me. She's just...his type, I guess? But I've made up my mind to dethrone him and make him regret his decision of abandoning me for the rest of his life. 

But would've he chosen me if we didn't have the fight that night? I don't think so. I try to calm my nerves down and stop thinking about it. But then again, why did I have that dream anyways?

"Hey you okay?", Wonwoo asks, being tensed.

"Yeah I'm fine, don't worry," I assure him, "it's just... I-I"

Wonwoo takes me by my hand while I start to stutter. 

"Come on, look at me," he's faced towards me, directly looking in the eyes, "Tell me what's wrong."

The way he looks at me, the way he talks, I know I can trust this guy, more than anyone else, "It's just, is it possible for precognitive dreamers to dream of something with someone, but in real life, only the incident comes true, but not with the person that he or she has dreamt of?"

He looks confused but then a wide grin appears on his face.

"Look, I knew my words don't make sense. Let's just forget about it," I pout while looking away.

"No, Minhee, I'm not laughing because of that," Wonwoo explains gently, his voice being low, "Umm I think the dreamer saw the future already by dreaming of the incident, but the subconscious mind of the dreamer wanted to experience the incident with the certain person. I mean, maybe the dreamer thought too much about the person that dreams and reality got mixed up like a hallucination. I'm sorry for the crappy theory though."

"Nooo, I understand what you mean,"I cut him off, "I'm sorry for asking such a crappy question anyways"

But am I thinking too much about Mingyu? ugh I just have to come back to reality before I create any other mess.

"You know, everyone has that one friend, they'd choose over anyone, to talk to or hang out with. It doesn't matter, they'll always be the first choice. But I get an empty feeling in my chest, when I realise, I'm not that friend to anyone.", words tumble out from my mouth before I can realise it.

His gaze was soft, they're still on mine; the glance surrounds me with a sense of calmness, and right now I know that I'm wrong. 

"You have me...",he inches his face nearer, his hands lifting to cup my cheek as he murmurs, I'll always be there for you, I promise."

Right then, I don't know why, my vision gets blurry, blurry enough not to notice the glare that's given to us by Mingyu from the other side of the room.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

[9 pm, outside of Pledis building]

Author's POV:

"Hyung, what are we doing here?" Wonpil asks, being annoyed.

"Hey, just give me couple of minutes okay?", Jaehyung snorts, "She said she's nearly done today and I really have to meet her."

It's been a while since Jaehyung got a chance to meet Minhee, he just wants to give her a surprise and he's planning to walk her home, possibly today.

"Then what the hell are we doing here?", Sungjin jokes, "I'm sure you need some intimate moment with her, Hyung."

Well, that's partly true. Jae really wants them to be alone, for a long time. But is it his fault that she makes him nervous as hell?

"But still, hyung shouldn't have been so cruel to the trainees of our company, they just wanted to be escorted by you, you know.", Wonpil rolls his eyes.

"Listen, if I ever have to participate in that beauty competition or whatever, I'll only be her , no matter what happens." Jaehyung laughs shyly.

"Wooaaaaaaaaahhhh," Junhyuk teases, "Love is in the air!!"

They keep teasing their Hyung till Minhee comes out of the building. The moment their eyes meet, Minhee looks so startled and surprised, Jae laughs in his mind. 

But what's Wonwoo doing with her?

They greet each other and Minhee asks, "Jae, what are you doing here? You should've just called me earlier."

"No, actually we were passing through and I thought I should say hello to you, it's been a while since we met," what a lame excuse, Jae sighs. 

"Aww, I'm so sorry I made you wait," she pouts, without having any idea what damages she's causing to Jae's heart.

"Hyung, I'm walking her home, you guys wanna join?", Wonwoo asks hurriedly.

"No,it's okay, we're getting late anyways," Jae lies, "You guys should get going. Have a safe walk."

"Good night, everyone!"  Minhee greets.

Jae looks at her and sees that she's already looking at him. He smiles and she returns her signature grin that he adores. But little did he know that while he's feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart skips a beat, 

she feels nothing at all.

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A/N: 

This is a quick update for you guys! I can't thank you enough for being so patient. Love Y'all!! 

And regarding the story, I know you're probably thinking the storyline is turning into a mess but please wait for the , I promise, it'll be worth waiting for! 

Enjoy, like and comment! 

Take care mwah xx