September 13, 2015

Minhee's POV: 

It's been a week since I met them last.

A week.

Without seeing them,

Without seeing him.

I cover my head with the blanket as the sunlight keeps bothering my thoughts. I haven't been feeling well since the night of the party and I had a bad fever the next day. Although mum was worried about how I'm gonna go to work in that condition, I eventually managed her to call them and take a few days off. My life was messed up already, I didn't think it was a good idea to get associated with any of them, especially after so many things that happened that night. 

Okay, I don't mean I'm getting phobic of celebrities, which might be possible after getting attacked by a drunk idol who was literally trying to shove his tongue down my throat, but surprisingly it's not because of that. I somehow got over the incident just at the moment when wonwoo consoled me. Pretty surprising, isn't it?

Seems like I'm being maturer with all these stuffs.

But the thing which has been bothering me from the night is that, I wronged Mingyu. Not because I yelled at him for being like that, it's just I'm angry at myself. How do I judge people so easily? I mean, how the hell I took mingyu as a playboy after just listening to his convos with other girls, or his playful attitude, it's not like I've seen him doing anything for real. I believed what I thought, even without trying to know the actual story. It's funny how I act towards others, while I expect them to understand me when I utter the words, "I can see the future in my dreams."

I'm not any different from those people who laugh at me for saying that. I'm just like others, pathetic human with flaws.

Ugh. 

So basically, that's the reason why I'm afraid to meet him. What am I gonna say to him when we meet? He probably doesn't wanna see my face again, let alone talking. But if ever, after millionth time of apologising, he starts talking to me and asks, why I thought so low of him, how am I gonna respond? If he asks how I ignored all the anxious texts that he sent when I was being late for work, the phone calls that he gave to know if I reached home safely, the silly jokes that he made to make me laugh when I was in a sad mood, what am I gonna say? I ignored them all and blamed him for being a pathetic erted filthy playboy, based on a single freaking incident.

I'm worse than that, ain't I?

My heart aches at my thought, I remove the blanket and get the phone from the table nearby, to check if I've got any reply from him.

But who am I kidding?

I've been sending him messages, apologising for days but there's no reply, not even a single word. Although I see the "delivered" sign on my kakaotalk chatroom which apparently means he read them all, he doesn't pick up the phone or calls me back, even after knowing that I've been sick. he knows it, right?

He must know though. One day before their Mansae showcase, S.Coups called me and we had a warm talk, he was caring as usual, which makes me respect him even more. He asked me if I was okay, to take care of myself and get well so that we can meet as soon as possible and obviously, to wish them luck for the comeback. Even if he didn't care enough to call me in spite of his tight schedule, I would definitely sit in front of my laptop and support them 100% the time when their Boys Be album was out.

Which I totally did. 

But it would be wrong if I say that I've felt ignored these days. Wonwoo's been calling me since the first day I was absent from work. He never mentioned about that night though, but I could feel the anxiety in his voice, like he wanted to say something to me, but nonetheless, he never spoke up, about anything. we just passed some introductory speech which was really very awkward and that's it. 

My phone starts ringing, and seventeen's comeback song blares out of it, "Mansae mansae mansae yeah, naega nareul bol ttaemyeon wo..."

For the first time in my fangirling life, I've set a non EXO song as my ringtone, but whenever I listen to it, I feel so proud, so touched that I'm lucky enough to be with them in their journey. 

I look at the phone, it's not the person that I expected - or to be honest, prayed. 

It's Jaehyung. Have I mentioned how he's been trying to boost up my mood with the lamest jokes on earth?

If I even start to describe how understanding and selfless he's being towards me, I think I'll be out of words. He's being calling me hundred times a day, most of the time asking silly stuffs but I know he's being conscious of what I'm doing. He surely knows that something ruined my mood, but the best part is he's never asked me the reason, or expected me to explain him. He's giving me space and I'm loving it...... yet

I pick up the call,

"Hello..."

"CONGRATULATIONS you're amazing, CONGRATULATIONS, how could you be so fine?" He sings the chorus of their song, "How could you trample on me by picking up this phone so late..."

but he messes up the tune of the song by changing the lyrics, which makes me laugh out loud.

Nothing can be lamer than that. 

"MEH!! okay let's forget that I ruined the song this bad and anything like that ever happened," he huffs as I can't stop laughing at him. After couple of seconds, he joins me as well.

What am I gonna do with this dork!

"Okay okay I know I'm too funny," he says, grinning, "but I really wanna know where you are right now."

"My room, of course. Why?"

"Wanna meet up so that I can hound you with my amazing humorous jokes and you'll probably end up laughing on the floor," I could sense his wink.

"No thanks. Remember, I'm sick?" I .

"Hey come on, you told me three days ago that you're totally fine but whenever I mention about our meeting, you just come up with an excuse."

I know he's upset, but how should I describe him what a mess I am right now. I have to put myself together before meeting any of them.

"I'm feeling better, to be honest I'm completely fine, but not in the mood of going out. I haven't even gone to work for a week." I sigh.

He responds after a short pause, "I'm sorry, it's just I'm kinda worried about you. I want you to know that I'd love to meet you anytime soon. Let me know when you feel well enough to go out." He isn't sarcastic, he's genuine this time. 

"Yeah sure, I hope we ca-"

My phone vibrates, signalling there's another call, waiting. 

And it's Wonwoo. 

"Jae, I've got an urgent call right now. I'll call you back after a while." It doesn't take me long to switch the calls and I hear wonwoo's deep voice.

"Minhee, where are you right now?", he sounds breathless, "I wanted to meet..."

Why are they asking the same questions!! We can meet someday soon, I'm not dying or something!

"Wonwoo, I-I" I stutter, thinking about how to deny his request without being mean, "I can't meet you right now. I'm home but...uummm I mean it's too early and i can't come... please don't be-"

"I'm waiting in front of your door, meet me here." 

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL???

I lean my head and look out of the window, and to my horror I realise he's standing in front of my freaking door, his hands holding the phone on his ear. What? How? When? Why?

Oh gosh! 

I'm wearing my hello kitty nightdress and I swear I would rather die than letting someone see me in this outfit. I have to change it before he gets to see. 

I hate it when I'm in my pajamas and it's comfortable but then I have to change to appear in front of someone. That literally .

I keep thinking about those stuffs and when I come to my senses, I see him looking up at me, from where I've been peeping at him and he smiles a little.

Or wait, he smirks.

OH SHOOT!! DO I LOOK SO BAD!!

"Nice to meet you after such a long time," he says over the phone, still looking at me, "I'm glad you look completely fine."

I move myself from there as fast as I can, run towards the mirror to see my appearance and from what I see, I feel like throwing up.

"Wonwoo-sshi," I try to smile  but I'm sure it came out as a grimace, "Give me 2 minutes, I'll come down and meet you..."

"Hey hey, listen" he stops me from disconnecting the call, " I'm in a total hurry right now, just come down for 2 minutes."

"But I just wo-"

"Don't worry, you look cute in the hello kitty top", his voice serious, but he's kidding right?

 After couple of minutes, we're walking on my garden, side by side. He asks me how I've been and all the introductory words that he used to ask over the phone, why did he even bother to come to ask that?

"Minhee," he pauses for a while, "Sorry for bothering you early in the morning. I just wanted to make sure you're okay, it's been a week without having you around and you know, it kinda feels..........empty"

Omg.

I want him to know that the feeling is mutual.

His words startle me, but still I don't interrupt. 

"I would've met you earlier but you know, the schedule is no joke these days, it feels like we don't even have time to breathe." he continues, "I got an hour off today, so I thought to come over and meet you, even though I have to go to a broadcast program now. Oh and everyone told me to say Hi to you on behalf of them."

Not everyone, Jeon Wonwoo. I sigh.

"Thank you for coming here, Wonwoo", I finally say, but my voice gets heavy, I don't know why, "Thank you for caring."

He doesn't respond, but his smile assures me that he's happy to see me. I request him couple of times to come inside but seems like he really has to go as he starts to get plenty of calls from the manager.

After we bade each other farewell and he starts walking towards the street, he turns to me and our eyes meet.

"Do you wanna say something?" I ask, even though it looks really obvious.

"I-I", he stutters, "I really hate to talk about that night right now, trust me, but I want you to know that I'm sorry, I was really harsh to you after what you said to Mingyu. I regret saying those words to you so much that I wish I could take it all back-"

"Noooo," I cut him off, "I can't thank you enough for saving me that night.. and about Mingyu, I think I deserved more than those words, it was me who was being harsh and pathetic. You have no idea how sorry I am..."

"It's not your fault, I hope Mingyu understands that too," he sighs.

My heart beats harder when he mentions Mingyu's name. I wonder how angry he is right now.

"Wonwoo-sshi," I say after a while, "Good luck for your broadcast. I'll be cheering on you guys always, no matter what happens. Oh and I'll meet you guys tomorrow, at the building."

And he smiles again, brighter than ever. And the warmth in his eyes invades my whole existence. 

He's my saviour, my best friend. 

Does he even know that?

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

[Next day,

At the pledis building]

Ever since I met seventeen and started working with them, I've never regretted my decision of being in Pledis, even for once. Now that my life has totally been changed, sometimes I wonder how I'd be living if I hadn't chosen this path. I mean, I came to work today after a week, but the way they're behaving seems like it's been decades. They're so busy because of the hectic schedule but they've become more enthusiastic after meeting me. It feels so good to know that I've been missed. 

Oh by the way, from now on when I put "seventeen" and "like or miss me" in the same sentence, I mean seventeen minus Mingyu, note that.

He didn't even look at me from the moment I entered the room, I feel so helpless and ignored but keep checking if he's looking at me after couple of minutes. 

I just need an opportunity to apologise. That's it.

"OMG MINHEE," Hoshi screams with joy, "You missed SO many things, do you know what happened?"

"Whaat?" I scream back, acting shocked as hell. He's so cute.

"Our album is getting a lot of attention and the physical sale rate is really high, so our company will let us have a solo concert this December."

"OH MY GOD!!! SOLO CONCERT, SO SOON?" I can't hide amusement.

"I know right! I'm so happy!!" He gives that signature laugh, revealing his 10:10 eyes. Who would say this cute guy can transform into a hottie when he dances?

"But they haven't officially announced it yet", Seungkwan says. 

So it's still a secret? which means I should be careful of keeping it as it is. Keeping secret isn't my speciality, to be honest.

Anyways, for the entire day I help them with all their practices and stuff. Nearly at 7.45 pm when all are done except for the hip hop unit's song "fronting", those who haven't taken part in that song decide to leave sooner. And the rest of them decide to take rest before starting practicing again. 

"Shall we go to the coffee shop to get freshen up?" Mingyu offers and as expected, everyone agrees. There's something about this coffee shop that attracts them a lot. But apparently the manager being too busy with technical works, he tells them to take me with them instead, and that's when Mingyu changes his mind, saying he has a lot to practice, others should go. blah blah.

A one year old toddler would know he's trying too hard to ignore me, it's just too much... ugh

But they somehow convince him- we get out of the building, and my phone beeps.

 We're supposed to meet tonight, right? Don't disappoint me this time :( 

#PleaseDontSayNo #MissYou

FLIPPING HELL!!! how on earth I forgot about that?!? 

Yes, I'm supposed to meet Jaehyung today at 8 pm. I thought I'd just meet him on my way back home from work but who knew it's gonna be so late? What should I do now? Should I just tell him that something caught me up? I don't know ugh he's gonna be furious. 

WAIT, there's still a way... I guess.

"Seungcheol-sshi," I ask dryly, "Is it okay if I meet a friend while you guys take your time in the coffee shop?"

"Oh sure," he says without thinking...  Would he let me do that if he knew who the friend is?

I will just meet him out of the shop and won't take much time, I promise to myself as I text Jae with all the infos, and I don't forget to capitalise "OUT OF THE COFFEE SHOP" part.

But sometimes when I try to become too careful, everything goes wrong...

It takes us ten minutes to reach there and the moment we're about to enter the shop, I get a reply from him. 

Give me a call when you reach here, I'm waiting inside of the coffee shop #CantWait #Finally

Fudge.

How the hell did he come so fast??

OH GOD WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

Before I can say anything, they enter the shop and I follow them. They go straight to the counter to order their coffees and I look the surroundings to find him... He's sitting exactly where Mingyu likes to sit, where the books are all set up, and guess what, he's solving the rubix cube. 

It's a dead end for me today... Be prepared, Minhee.

"Minhee, what should I order for yo-" before Wonwoo finishes his sentence, he looks at the direction where I'm looking, and he gets... confused?

I give him a please-be-gentle-with-him-even-for-once-for-my-sake look and he drifts his gazes to others, who are looking at Jae right now.

Oh and for the first time in the whole day, Mingyu looks at me... but of course, his eyes glare as if he's looking at a betrayer, once again.

I know others are probably thinking the same but I really want them to act maturer tonight, I can't take it if they don't do so... 

We take our coffee and walk inside. 

But why's Wonwoo and S.Coups heading towards the table next to Jae?  Don't tell me they're gonna seat there!!

Oh wait, they're heading towards Jae's table?? DID I WATCH IT WRONG???

What the hell...?

"Hyung," S.Coups bows, "How come you're here!"

"Nice to meet you Hyung." Wonwoo greets.

That moment, I can't be more grateful to them as each of them greet him and they just sit together. The funniest part is Jae looks so confused right now, he never imagined I'd meet him up with them.. Poor Jae! I start to feel bad for him... 

"I can't believe I'm meeting a "friend" instead of practicing", Mingyu hisses to Wonwoo, while others are busy talking. I sense the sarcasm but still ignore him.. It must be hard for him, I laugh in my head. 

After a while everyone is done with "Hi hello"s and they were just taking sips from the mug in silence, the awkwardness around was so unbearable that I speak up, "Jae, you have to practice right? Let me walk you out of here."

He looks relieved, this boy takes time to blend with people, does everyone know what an amazing personality he has!

After all the goodbyes, we both get out of the room and I inhale fresh air as I felt suffocated inside. I look at jae, his eyes on mine, he needs explanation, I guess.

"I'm so sorry Jae, I didn't think things were gonna turn out like that", I explain, "Please don't misunderstand me..."

"Hey it's okay, things happen! But it's been a pleasure to meet them all," he says, with a grin, "You owe me a meeting though."

But deep down inside, I know his expression isn't genuine, something's bothering him and I don't know what it is.

I hope it's not because of me. 

But who am I kidding?

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

[That night]

Mingyu's hand inches up from my back, upto my spine. It's slow and sensual enough to squeeze my eyes shut. He pulls me against his chest and surprisingly there's no enough space between us. Oh my god, what's happening to me? I open my eyes and look deep into his eyes. instead of warmth, I see something else... 

That was coldness... 

I shot up straight in bed, I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily, what the hell was that??

It's just a dream,

it's just a dream.

It has to be just a dream, nothing else.  Maybe because I've been thinking a lot about Mingyu, it's just the consequences of it.

It's getting hard to differentiate between dream and reality. 

Ugh. 

But why me?

I'm getting sick of it.

A/N: 

Heyyyy guys!!! 

I'm SO sorry for being late!! I don't know how to apologise to you guys ㅠㅠ I was so freaking busy with studies and stuff. Who knew MBBS degree would be so hard to achieve 😏 

I made up my mind to quit this story because of the hectic schedules and stuff but then I thought I don't have the right to do so after getting you guys into it! I'll try my best to share all of it ASAP, please be gentle! You won't be disappointed, I promise! 

Take care love 

mwah x