TWO DAYS BEFORE HOMECOMING: WEDNESDAY

I was walking home from school thinking about how awkward it had been seeing Yoongi, it occurred to me that the conversation I had with him at the mall was the most personal exchange of words I've ever had with anyone outside of my family. I hadn't said a word to him since yesterday, and he hadn't said a word to me. But I didn't blame him or anything like that, he wasn't the type to talk about that sort of stuff and I suppose, neither was I.

But my thoughts were interrupted as my eyes focused on a figure a little ways in front of me; Jungkook. I instantly smiled as I saw him waiting for me at the corner; he turned around and grinned as he waved to me. He needed to stop being an adorable little baby so I wouldn't feel the urge to pinch his cheeks every time I saw him. "Jungkook!" I called out as I began to speed up my walking pace.

He was wearing his school's uniform, as usual; he went to a private school not far from here. I had always wondered where the guys met him, but never really asked. "Hey!" He said happily as I reached him. "What's up? Anything new on your mind?" he asked me cutely as he rocked back and forth on his heels, hands gripping the straps of his backpack.

My eyes trailed down to his hands and an unsettling feeling erupted in my stomach as I stared at his knuckles. They were bandaged and spots of red shown through on the white cloth. What happened to him?

He followed my gaze and then looked up to me with a smile, "It's nothing, got hurt in soccer practice." he told me hastily. I nodded, but by his jittery fingers, small cut and bruise by his eye, and the fact that he couldn't do this to himself by kicking a ball around a field, knew that there was more to the story. But I let it go.

We all have secrets.  

My mind traveled back to his original question and I answered him. I shrugged, thinking it would be weird if I actually told him that Yoongi was on my mind. "Not really; nothing other than the dance this Friday." I stated. He nodded understandingly, and it then occurred to me that he wouldn't be going with the rest of us. I looked to him in disappointed pout, "You can't go, can you?" I asked with my bottom lip jutting out, though I knew he probably wouldn't be able to, he went to a different school, a private school at that, was he allowed to do that?

 

I saw his grin turn from sweet to slightly devious, "Well, about that...we've figured out a way to sneak me in." He whispered the last part, as if someone could overhear us.

My eyes widened slightly. Couldn't he get in trouble or something? That probably wasn't a very bright idea, I mean, he was only a freshman and getting caught for something like sneaking into a dance wouldn't look too good on his record.

He saw the hesitation in my eyes and shook his head, "Don't worry, Hoseok has come up with an ingenious plan." He reassured me.

I nodded warily, "Okay..." I trailed off, hoping it wasn't too extreme. And right before I was going to ask him about my doubts, I felt my pocket start to buzz. I reached for my phone to see who was calling me; it was Joe. I looked up to Jungkook, "Sorry, it’s Joe, I'm going to see what she needs."

He just shook his head while waving away my apology, "It’s fine," He said smiling.

"Hell—“, I began but was instantly interrupted by a loud screech.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I winced yanking the phone away from my ear.

"What the heck!?" I complained into the phone while glancing over to Jungkook who leaned in to see what was wrong.

"TAEHYUNG ASKED ME TO HOMECOMING!! AHHHH! I'M SO HAPPY!!" She once again yelled in a high pitched voice.

I was filled with excitement and absentmindedly jumped up in the air, "Really?!" I asked, also speaking in a tone higher than usual.

"YESSSS!" she wailed.

I looked to Jungkook, who seemed to be happy for us but at the same time confused, "That's great! You guys will look great together." I said more calm, hoping she'd follow me in becoming relaxed.

I heard her take in a breath and exhale deeply, "I can't believe it; I really just hope this isn't a dream." She breathed out.

I smiled and shook my head, even though she couldn't see me, "It's real, I promise." I assured her.

She squealed once again, "I know!" I laughed at her childish excitement; there was a pause of silence. "I think I should go, see you soon Jen!" And she hung up before I could say goodbye.

I smiled brightly and looked at Jungkook, "Taehyung and Joe, huh?" He said kind of unsure of what to do, scratching the nape of his neck.

He was too cute; everything he did seemed to make me want to smother him in grandma kisses. "Yeah..." I managed to slip out. "Joe really likes him." I added as an after-thought.

He nodded and another grin appeared on his lips, "Now that I'm thinking about it, Tae did talk about her a lot." Jungkook said, as if he was convincing himself that it was possible for them to be together.

We stood in silence and I thought it'd be best if I got to Jolene as soon as possible, "Well, I think Joe needs someone to scream to, so I think I'll head out." I said kind of awkwardly, but he didn't even seem fazed.

"See you tomorrow!" He said as he began walking in the opposite direction as me.

"Bye!" I called back, as I accidentally stumbled over my own feet but then regained balance before heading back to the probably hyperventilating teen.

"Hmmm...." I hummed to myself, as I looked up to the blue sky and walked in a sort of skip-like manner. "I wonder if anyone will ask me..." I mumbled out, and a picture of Yoongi seemed to leak its way into my mind. I just shook my head, attempting to rid his figure from my mind, and it left, but another entered; Hoseok. I smiled. Hoseok was awesome; simple as that. I would go with him if he asked me, I thought I could grow to see him as something more than a friend.

______________________________________________________________________________

DAY BEFORE HOMECOMING: THURSDAY

"Dude, come on, we knew that there was no girl!" I told Jimin during lunch as I took a bite of my spaghetti.

Jimin crossed his arms in defense, his muscles tensing. "There was!" He argued back, his eyebrows set in a defensive crinkle.

Hoseok rolled his eyes, Namjoon shook his head, and Taehyung and Joe seemed too involved with their own conversation to care about Jimin's fake date, that, he had decided to get rid of.

It was just the six of us today, Yoongi didn't show up at lunch, but I had a pretty good idea of where he might be.

"Really?" Namjoon challenged raising his brows, Jimin nodded vigorously. "What was her name? Maybe we should comfort her and say that she's really not missing much. This is not a large school, Jimin." Jimin didn't respond, and Namjoon was wearing a smug look. "That's what I thought; now eat, before you run out of time." He ordered, pointing to Jimin's almost full tray of food.

I cracked a smile; Namjoon was the literal definition of cool. He seemed to be the type of character in book that you wished you could be or at least meet. He always seemed to know how to act in all situations. He was so many things...he was smart, funny, kind, prideful but humble, caring, and talented. I was so happy he was my friend, I always felt proud to walk next to him in the halls. I know it's silly but I feel important beside him. I noticed that I had zoned out on his face, he was looking back at me, and I quickly glanced away. Oops...

"Hey, where's Yoongi?" Jimin asked out of the blue, placing his fork back on the tray looking at us curiously.

I was the first to answer, "He's probably in that one empty room practicing or something...." I trailed out at the end, thinking that it must have been strange for me to know where he was. I looked at their reactions, Jimin only nodded and Namjoon was smirking....Oops…He probably thinks I'm a creep. I answered way too fast, but the sad thing was, I was almost positive that's where Yoongi actually was.

"What room?" I glanced to my left to find Hoseok looking at me, awaiting a reply.

I shrugged, "I don't remember where it is...but I found him there once..." I said, hoping he didn't see through the lie. I knew exactly where it was, but it felt wrong, somehow, to tell him. It was a place where Yoongi could escape during school hours, and I felt as if I was intruding if I told him. Plus, I've gone there a couple times to read and found it peaceful and didn't want anyone to know about it. It was near the corner of the building and it was one of those doors that had been placed where people don't tend to notice it. This was kind of ironic, if you ask me.

Hoseok's light brown eyes held mine for a few seconds before nodding. I let out a mental breath, but didn't know why I was so relieved. Would it be that awful if Hoseok knew? I felt bad about lying to him and was going to come up with an excuse for my forgetfulness before telling him, just as my eyes locked with Namjoon's.

Namjoon's eyes were different than Hoseok's, different than Yoongi's, though they were all a shade of brown, there were subtle differences within them. Namjoon's eyes had seemed to express him perfectly; you could tell that Namjoon knew exactly who he was. That was yet another factor that made him cool, and kind of intimidating. I had no idea who I was...but he knew who he was, and that scared me slightly. How could someone completely understand themselves? It seemed impossible.

'I won't tell.' He mouthed to me, and my heart stopped. I did my best to hide my shock, but that didn't change the fact that he knew I was lying.

How did he read me so easily?! My mind traveled back to one of my first encounters with him, 'You're easy to read...' I recalled him telling me and shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying not to catch Namjoon's eye.  Stupid Namjoon, why did he have to be so perceptive?

NINE O’ CLOCK THAT NIGHT

"Yoongi and I haven't spoken yet..." I said into my phone. I was making another video in my bedroom, reflecting on what had happened today and thinking about Homecoming. I let out a sigh, shifting under my green comforter, "Sometimes I wish I could read minds, so I could know what he was thinking. So I could know what everyone was thinking!" I said exasperated, "I just want to know what people think of me...that way I know how to act around them..." I closed my eyes and Namjoon's face popped up in my head. "Oh Namjoon..." I breathed out, once again raising my eyelids. "You are one confusing being!" I scolded pointing my finger at the camera. "How come you know so much about everything? You knew I was lying to Hoseok about where the room was and I was so nervous that you were going to snitch!" I huffed out, imagining that I was speaking to Namjoon and not alone in my room talking to myself.

I glared at my phone for a second before Taehyung and Joe came into mind. A wide grin spread across my face, I watched as my blueish-green eyes brightened in the dim light of my lamp. "Just thinking about how Tae and Joe make me so happy!" I squealed quietly as my hands shook my device, causing the outline of my face to blur. "I think I might burst into tears when they dance at Homecoming! I just can't handle it! Seeing how happy Joe is with Taehyung makes me even more ecstatic!"

My eyes shifted from the camera to a frame on my dresser. It was a picture of me, dad, Jolene, and mom. I stared at it and saw just how young Joe and I looked, just how healthy dad looked, just how happy we were. Joe was that happy again, and I thought that she would be able to let go of the past, as long as Taehyung was with her.

I wondered if someone would make me feel like that...I sighed and my gaze found my screen once again. "But really, knowing that Taehyung makes her smile and laugh makes me beyond joyed."

I had begun to think about how great it would be to know that someone wanted you, and you them. I knew I shouldn't have, but some part of me was jealous of Joe, I wanted what she had. I wanted to have someone to look at me and know they thought I was beautiful, to know they accepted me, to know they cared; to know I made them feel crazy inside. "I want someone who will understand me too..." I breathed out absentmindedly.

 I didn't have much more to say and thought it best if I ended the video before all it consisted of was me looking off into space. I took in a deep breath, settling my eyes on my features reflecting back at me, "Forgive but don't forget...smile for tears are too precious...love—" But the word caught in my throat and images of a certain someone bounced off the walls of my brain. "Yoongi...?" I questioned, surprising myself. I stared at the screen in shock and quickly ended the video. I dropped my phone in my lap and looked across the room. Why did I think of Yoongi then? Why is my brain so messed up?!

"UGHHH!" I moaned out loudly, I squeezed my hair as my legs had a spaz attack under the covers. "What is wrong with me!?" An image of Yoongi's smirk appeared inside my head and I wanted to scream. I was angry. I didn't want Yoongi's stupid face in my head! I can't think of him like that! I have to stop...I must get my act together...I don't like him like that! This needs to end! It's stupid....Ha! Yoongi...yeah, right....

I thought this would soon fade. It didn't.

______________________________________________________________________________

DAY OF HOMECOMING: FRIDAY

"You are going to Homecoming, right?" I turned my head to my right, meeting eyes with Chanyeol. His reddish hair was a little messy and he was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans; my attire almost exactly.

I nodded, tightening my hair in my ponytail, "Yeah," I told him, bringing my hands down to rest on my desk and to fiddle with my pen. "But you know that already..." I stated kind of as an after-thought, I watched as his shoulders lifted and fell.

He shrugged, "Just making sure," He said, his fingers drumming rapidly on his desk. I gave him a sideways glance and he replied with a smile, I couldn't fight with that. "Actually, I was wondering if—"

"HELLOOOOO MY CHILDREN!" Ms. Bee boomed, startling everyone in the room, causing me to jolt out of shock and to drop my pen on the ground. All eyes were on her, she was smiling uncontrollably, her hair rested on her shoulders. She waltzed across the front of the room, "Homecoming is tonight, everyone going? I hope, for I just know that it will be fun!" She exclaimed excitedly, "I always loved Homecoming, though I was always without a date, I still had so much fun with all my friends!" The class just listened to her as she rambled slightly about how you would regret not going and trying new things, regret not asking someone you like to go with you. Then went into how she would be a teacher chaperone and if she didn't see you there, she would deduct one point from our average, we all knew she was lying but nodded anyway. Though we heeded her words no one seemed all that interested in the topic. "Well...to the lesson." She said after a brief moment of silence, sounding a little less peppy. "Take out a blank sheet of paper and a pen or pencil."

I retrieved a piece of lined paper from my binder setting it neatly in front of me, then, craned my neck around me, looking for my pen. I suppressed a groan of irritation as I saw that it had rolled under Yoongi's chair. Of course, just my luck... I didn't want to ask him for it, so I had slid down in my chair, stretching a short leg as far out as it would go, but making little progress. Just the tip of my shoe touched it, and actually, it moved the pen further away. This time, I did groan, calling attention of the one person I didn't want to notice me. Yoongi.

He whipped his head back at me, not seizing to glare, and mouthed, 'What is your problem?' I rolled my eyes and thought it foolish if I didn't ask for him to reach down for my pen, so I pointed under his chair. He followed my finger and scoffed as his hand hesitantly made its way under the chair. He reached behind him and stuffed the writing utensil into my palm, our hands colliding and his fingers warm.

My thoughts had bounced back to last night and to what I was thinking, my face started to heat up. I hated that! I leaned back in my chair, trying to will away the heat in my cheeks and the fast beat in my chest.

"You okay?" Chanyeol whispered to me, one eyebrow raised, I only nodded, staring at Ms. Bee and trying my best to dismiss every thought of Yoongi...

"That's it for today; we will pick here on Monday. No homework! Enjoy your weekend!" Ms. Bee told us, she seemed more excited about the dance than us.

We all filed out of the classroom, but before I could head down the hall, Chanyeol called my name. I stopped and looked over my shoulder, "Yeah?"

He came up to me, his hand scratching the nape of his neck, he looked nervous. "Oh, I was just thinking about what Ms. Bee said about Homecoming and I thought that maybe—"

Something yanked on my arm forcefully, causing my body to jolt backwards with it. "What the hell!?" I said on instinct. I looked to see what had grabbed me, it was Yoongi. His eyes were set on mine seriously and he started to pull me away from Chanyeol. I glanced back at Chanyeol, trying to get him to help me get away. "What are you doing?! Let me go!" I whined, clearly pissed off. Chanyeol was talking to me! You don't just steal people out of their conversations! I was staring back at him, but he just watched as I was being dragged further away, an expression of realization written all over his features. Soon, he turned around and stalked off. That was mean, why didn't he help me?!

I glared at the back of Yoongi's head, I was really annoyed. His hand was wrapped around my wrist tightly, and it reminded me of the time I brought him Jin's pastry and he was squeezing my wrist. But his grip wasn't as rough as it had been then. "Where are you taking me?" I asked, not yet ready to be defeated, "I have classes to get to." I voiced sternly. Though on the outside I was irritated, on the inside my heart was boiling. I didn't like that I liked physical contact with Yoongi; it was a bad habit to get used to someone's touch, because you can lose them all too quickly.

"Just shut up and follow me." He demanded; even more firm than me.

I sighed at his attitude, not wanting to give up, then an idea popped up in my head, "Fine, but I can walk on my own; let go of me." I said, planning to run the second his hand left me.

He just shook his head and continued with his pursuit, "I don't trust you." He said warily, questioning his statement, but still managed to sound stable.

"Please, come on!" I pleaded, hoping this would work.

He sighed and stopped walking forwards then turned to face me, "I'm going to let go, and you are going to follow me, right?" I nodded vigorously; he studied my face, and released me.

I smiled up at him sweetly before swiftly turning around and bolting down the hall, my backpack on my shoulder bouncing. I thought I would be able to get away and felt proud of my acting; I might be able to be an actress!

I thought too soon.

Arms wrapped around my shoulders and eventually hands found my sides, causing me to yelp and instantly halt in surprise. My backpack somehow slipped off my shoulder and it fell to the ground. Yoongi's arms were, like the rest of him, really warm and comforting. Even through my sweatshirt I could feel the warmth. But I couldn't let him know I felt that way."Wha-What are you doing?" I accidentally stuttered out. But how could I not?! Yoongi, the very attractive Yoongi, was basically hugging my back to his chest. Okay maybe not that close, but his hands were near my hips and it was too much to handle. I could barely handle the feeling of his palm on my wrist a minute ago, how would I survive this?! What?! WAIT! NO!  What am I thinking!? I need to calm my hormones down!

But I didn't do anything to create space between us, not yet. My back was barely an inch away from his front and his fingers tensed on my sides. It was as if he was trying not to pull me closer, but I think I was imagining that. I let my own hands travel down towards his; it was nice to feel his knuckles under my palms.

I closed my eyes, trying to savor the feeling of his body so close to mine. But I was becoming too comfortable, and I knew that this wouldn't last. Nothing like this lasts with Yoongi. So, not wanting to be the one to be pushed away, I put pressure on his wrists, signaling that he needed to let me go.

I felt a sting of irritation and disappointment rise in my gut as I felt him frantically yank himself away from me. A sad smile appeared unknowingly upon my lips.

Funny, I guess that's not what I wanted...

The lack of his touch made me less aware of my surroundings and where I was supposed to be. I was almost in some sort of daze, I scoffed at myself mentally; I was so naive that it was ridiculous.

"Come on...we need to be somewhere, and we're late." Yoongi's voice was loud in the empty hallways, it called my attention easily. I turned around and looked at Yoongi, taking in his appearance. He was wearing simple jeans, and a dark long sleeved shirt.

I noticed that he didn't like exposing skin very often, I agreed with him on that one. I would wear sweats and a sweatshirt everyday if I could. But I can't. So I settle with bringing a sweater with me everywhere I go, and even now, I was wearing one.

My eyes traveled up to his face, he was smirking at me, and I just rolled my eyes crossing my arms. "You owe me..." I said as my reasoning. I didn't quite understand what I meant really, I just thought he owed me a little time to just look at him....Wow, I sound like a real creeper. But he didn't take it the way I intended.

His perfect eyebrows rose on his perfect forehead, causing me to glare into his perfect dark eyes. Ugh! Why is he so perfect!? No. No, Jen. No one is perfect, and he certainly isn't..."Owe you?" He asked surprised, but his expression changed, it looked as if he was considering the idea.

I nodded, standing my ground, he did owe me! "Yes, you do." I concluded, thinking that I might be able to get a few of his songs on my phone; my heart sped up at the idea.

It was his turn to roll his eyes, but he didn't, and I didn't understand why. I was acting like a total nuisance! Usually at this point in our disagreements he glares and replies with something snappy. But he didn't. Instead, he sighed putting all his weight on one leg, "Fine, what do you want?" He asked me, giving me a look of curiosity and...excitement...? Pff...What am I doing? I can't read his expressions! 'Excitement'....heh heh, yeah right.  I thought briefly, but then his words played themselves over in my head.

My eyes popped out of my skull, my firm stance was broken as my arms dropped to my sides. He didn't even ask why! Do I even know why...? "Really?!" I voiced, more shocked than I wanted to imply. "I-I didn't really mean—" I began, tearing my eyes away from his.

"So I don't owe you? Good I—"

"No!" I said loudly, surprising myself. He just looked amused, and I felt my ears burn, I can't back out now...

He chuckled, smilingly in the process. I couldn't help but stare at him; every time he smiled it was as if his entire demeanor changed and morphed into a part of Yoongi I wish I knew. "Wow, you certainly want something..." He stated as an after-thought, and my mind began to wander as I watched his tongue run over his bottom lip.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I bit my lip, trying to will the blood down to my toes. He's making it sound like I want to do things with him, that's so not what I want!

Or is it…?

—No! No. That is not what I'm asking for!

"No it's not that I just—" I tried to explain with a wavy voice and flailing arms, but failed utterly. I didn't want him to think I was like that; I don't want that stuff, at least I don't think I do...

I stared at him, not wanting to explain what I didn't want from him. He just shook his head amused and looked around him, then, his hand reached up to scratch his head. "We should go, we're late..." He told me, picking up his backpack, which, also, had fallen to the ground. I followed suit and reached for my bag, swinging it over my shoulder, turning away from him and to my next class.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Yoongi asked, back to his annoyed self. But I was relived, because I always felt like I was being observed by him when we were having normal conversations. But of course, those normal, everyday conversations never last with us. We either end up talking too deeply, or in a heated argument. And honestly, I'm beginning to become done with disagreements.

I stopped, turning on my heel to face him. "What? I have a class to go to, I don't think I'll be following you." I said, sounding determined, but in truth I was going to go with him, I just wanted to toy with him a little.

But he made it boring, shrugging his shoulders, "Whatever, I could care less if you come." He told me, his indifferent eyes settling on mine, before he shifted on his feet and started off down the hall. "Not like I want to go either..."

I was a little down; I thought he would be more persistent on me going with him. But then I smacked myself mentally for that stupid anticipation; that would never happen. I needed to get my crazy hormones straightened because I keep feeling like an idiot when he rejects everything I do. "Well, I guess I'll go." I said, trying to sound casual, but I just sounded totally obvious. He could guess that I wanted to go! Ugh!

He dismissed my voice and continued walking; I followed a few feet behind him. My eyes racked his figure, my ears listening to his rhythmic breaths and steps on tile. I tried to copy his steady rhythm; left, right, left, right, left right...soon one set of footsteps echoed through the halls. I smiled to myself, for some reason, us being in sync made me feel content in a way.

After becoming lost in his walking pattern, I had also lost track of time and direction. “We’re here.” Yoongi voiced as we approached the doors of the school’s library.

I pursed my lips in confusion as we entered, the silence of the room filling our ears. “What are we doing here?” I asked in a quiet whisper, totally befuddled. He didn’t answer me and I frowned in his direction, he didn’t even give me a glance.

But my inquiry was answered when I heard the hushed voices of Hoseok and Taehyung coming from the aisle to our right. “Where are they? They should have been here by now”

I turned my head towards the voices and made eye-contact with Hoseok. The corners of his mouth instantly turned up in a bright smile. He gave me a small wave and mouthed a 'hi' before the rest noticed our arrival.

I grinned back, a feeling of warmth spreading through me from his always amiable atmosphere.

Jimin was the first to speak, his eyebrows furrowed in their usual disapproving wrinkle, "What took you so long?! You're late! It's almost more than ten minutes after the bell!" My eyes strayed from Hoseok's and found their way to Jimin.

"How am I late when I didn't even know I was supposed be here in the first place?" I asked defensively, staring down, the always very prideful and obnoxious, Jimin.

"Well it's not my fault no one told you, is it?" he retorted back, more quickly than I would have thought he could.

Well I guess he isn't wrong...But his attitude still pissed me off and I glared at him for a couple moments before I was pushed towards one of the chairs around the table. "Hey!" I called out in protest, looking to see who shoved me.

"Stop trying to prove yourself and sit your down." Yoongi grumbled from behind me, his breath grazing my neck and making me realize how close he was. I stepped away from him and slid into the chair beside Namjoon, who gave me a nod in greeting. I nodded back, feeling strangely small because of how Yoongi spoke to me, I wasn't usually that affected by his harsh comments.

Yoongi then took a seat in the only open seat next to me, and I inched away from him a little bit, knowing he wouldn't want to be too close to me. And the thought only made my confidence further weaken. I glanced at him as I finished readjusting my chair and was confused to see him looking at me. His eyes traveled over the distance between us and then towards me, his lips set in a hard line, but his eyes soft and revealing. His eyes held mine for a solid second before Taehyung's voice interrupted our gaze.

I tore my eyes away from his, feeling somehow exposed. What's wrong with him? Why did he look at me like that? He seemed so...so, oh, I don't know! Was it because I moved away from him? Did he want me to be closer to him?  I considered, and I couldn't confine my wide smile and butterflies in my stomach at the thought.

"Okay," Taehyung began in a whisper, reminding me where we were, "if you didn't know why we're here it's so we can discuss the plan to get Jungkook into homecoming." Taehyung said, causing my lighthearted mood to instantly dissipate.

I was dragged through the halls by a hot-tempered that, may I remind you, I'm strangely attracted to, and taken away from my classes only to be welcomed with the stupid news of a stupid plan to smuggle our stupid—yet ridiculously adorable—friend into a stupid high school dance!?

Taehyung gestured to Hoseok, "So, Hoseok, would you like to—" but I intercepted his sentence.

"Excuse me but, am I here, missing class after I was basically dragged here by this guy," my thumb jutted out in Yoongi's direction as I continued, "So we can discuss something we could have done after school?" I questioned everyone with a clearly irritated tone, but looking at Taehyung for he was the one who spoke.

Taehyung suddenly seemed nervous and stuttered in his answer. "Y-yeah....?" He said, his 'answer ‘sounding more like a question; he was probably afraid I was going to lash out at him or something.

I nodded whilst standing up, "Well, I'll be leaving then." I stated flatly, thinking about what my father would think. The only thing he ever asked of me was to focus on my studies and being here made me feel like I was going against the only request he had given me. I turned to them and smiled, feeling a little more relaxed at the thought of my father. "Can you guys fill me in later? I really shouldn't miss class." I said kind of awkwardly, realizing how dull and boring I may have sounded as I looked at all their facial expressions.

"Uh- yeah sure, no problem, see you later." Taehyung voiced kindly, seeming calmer than he had a second ago.

I had spun on my heel to go but I heard someone speak behind me, his words halting me.

"Have fun in class miss goody-two-shoes."

My blood had frozen and I was reminded of when I was at my old school, this was how they had spoken to me, this was how they treated me, and that was what they used to call me. The person that I wished I could get closer to, was speaking those same hurtful words.

But this time, I didn't want to fight him. I didn't want to get all angry and make a scene, and I didn't want to put him down, because that would just give him more reasons to act foul to me. And anyways, even though that title hurt me, it was true.

I was never the girl that went to parties, to drink alcohol, or to skip class for the fun of it. I’d had liked to say that this was only because I was never asked to a party, that I was never asked to drink with friends, but this was because of the undeniable fact that wasn’t who I was.

I sighed as I slowly spun around on my heel, facing my friends. But I only looked at Yoongi, who didn't even have the guts to stare back.

"Yoongi, you're an . Why'd you hav—" Hoseok started, and I saw him begin to stand out of the corner of my eye.

"No," I interrupted, "Its fine." My eyes still glued to Yoongi's mop of black hair, "He's right," I began, taking a few steps towards him, "Just as always." I whispered and leaning towards him slightly, trying to speak so only he could hear, but I knew that they all heard me. I was staring at him, furious yet calm and feeling more broken than I had been in a while, willing him to just look at me.

But he did no such thing.

So I left.

No more words spoken and not one more glance towards anyone, my gaze focused on my sneakers.

And to my surprise, my feet had not taken me to my class, but to the very room where Yoongi had found out my secret. To the room where I spilled my loss to a total stranger, the room where only that stranger and I could escape.

I plopped into the navy blue beanbag and silently pulled out my phone, opened up my camera, and had instantly started a video. I stared at my reflection, taking in the obvious pain edged into my usual smiling features. "Why?" I asked myself, my voice flat from my sadness and anger jumbled together. My cheeks were rosy and my hazel eyes seemed to be drooping. My hair was falling out if my ponytail and one long strand was resting on the hood of my sweatshirt. I stared at myself, studying my skin and my features.

I felt violated, I felt exposed. I was humiliated in front of people I care about; by the person I wished would let me be nice to him. "You know what?" I voiced, making a decision. "I'm not going to let him bother me anymore. Yoongi is just an attractive who thinks he's better than everyone else. I don't care what might have happened to him b-because I—we all go through hell." I stuttered with my last statement, knowing full well that if Yoongi, or anyone, was in pain I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from comforting him. I sighed, closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, "Who am I kidding?" I began, "If I ever find out what happened to Yoongi, I know I won't seize to jump in try to help in out in some way...why do I have to be so nice?" I questioned with a small smile, looking back at my reflection.

"Well anyway," I started, glancing at the clock. “I should probably go to class so...yeah, I'm gonna go." I sat up in the beanbag, "Forgive but don't forget. Smile for tears are too precious. Love but don't fall, and eat apples for they are delicious." I finished in sort of droning manner, ending the video.

I looked up at the clock; I had only about fifteen minutes left in class. "UGHHH!" I groaned, "What's even the point?!" I grumbled loudly and kicked my legs. "I might as well just stay here!" I yelled, my hands reaching up and pulling on my ponytail to tighten it and then proceeding to massage my scalp.

My mother would massage my head when I had a bad dream or when I stressed for a test and when I was sad. Images of mom flashed through my head, and suddenly, I heard her laugh. My body froze as I saw her white smile. I could feel tears swell up in my eyes, but I quickly willed them away, shaking my head and attempting to not turn into an emotional ball of chaos.

I sighed, my eyes traveling over the ceiling, "Forget about the bad and think about how much fun you are going to have tonight." I told myself in a breathy tone. "You're going to make good memories." I decided, "And you're not going to let that bastard bother you." I smiled at my words and hoped that I would be able to stay calm in his irritating presence.

But what I didn't know was that Yoongi wasn't going to be the one to complicate things. 

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Hellooooo! I know that it’s taking forever to get to homecoming and I’m sorry! When I write, I kinda come up with little things as I go along and things are added in for cliché reasons. But I promise that after homecoming, things will become more organized; for I have a plan! XD The plan is all written down and everything! So yeah…hopefully things will go smoother during the rest of chapters. I hope…Well anyway…

—Flora ►