#9  “i know we were never officially together or anything but seeing that picture you posted on [insert social media] with him/her literally felt like you carved my heart out of my chest and stomped on it and i’m not really sure why i’m leaving this voicemail but my pillow still smells like you and i miss your stupid face” AU

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This is Eric Mun’s residency, I’m out at the moment. If it’s important, please leave your message after the beep and I will call you back as soon as possible.
 

*Beep*

It’s me. Hyesung. Shin Hyesung, you know, best friend. Or so, the way you love to call me despite our mutual attraction. If we can call rolling around in the bed without actual relationship as ‘mutual attraction’.
 

Do not misunderstand, I’m not drunk. I’m perfectly sober even though what I want to do at the moment is drinking up all the alcohol in the world and then die from alcohol poisoning.
 

Actually, I should be talking with you personally. I was thinking I should do that, but you know that would be hard. I’m already suffering enough and cry every five minutes, but if I did face you and talked with you while gazing into your painfully big, brown eyes… I don’t think I would be able to keep myself together. I only just manage even now.

I’ve gone soft, I guess.

....
 

Hehe.

It’s so hard to speak, there is this incredibly big lump in my throat and my voice is trembling so much…

Fhah…
 

I don’t even know why I’m leaving this voice message to be honest, after all, we are meeting almost every day. Or I could even talk to you through the phone, because as I’ve said, I can’t face you.

But I guess, there is one reason: I honestly wish we would not see each other for a short while, don’t even want to talk with you.

It pains me to see and hear you after I’ve discovered your update on instagram. With her. That woman. Who is that woman to begin with? When did she get into the picture?

Why you’ve never said a thing? Why do I have to find out this way?

...
 

Hahaha.

Now I sound like some grumpy, jealous girlfriend when we… we have never been together to begin with. Have we been ever official? I don’t think so.
 

You and me… what are we?

Friends? Friends with benefits?

I’m so confused if I want to be honest with you – confused and hurt.

But I’m the stupid one because I got ahead of myself. Because you never once said we are a thing, but I still thought of you as mine… But in the end, you have never been mine.

Now my own stupidity tortures me - you reap what you sow as the saying goes.
 

Aaah...
 

Eric-ah, my heart hurts so much. I can’t breath, can’t eat, can’t sleep… all I could do is drinking, but I still keep myself together, I don’t plan on going to that level…

But still, how do you soothe such a pain?

It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, still beating, then being tossed onto the floor and have a whole herd of elephants running over it…

I’m... so hurt.

...
...

But do you know what makes it so much worse?
The fact that I still can’t stop loving you, because I do love you even though I’ve never said it out loud. I’ve thought it’s obvious… would I sleep with you if I did not like you even for a bit?
It’s too late to say, I guess.

However, I still love you and now that I’m asking you not to look for me for a while… I miss you so much it’s like going through the seven pits of hell. I miss you and the pillow you always use whenever you are staying over has your smell even now, even though you have been here exactly a week ago… it still smells like you and now I’m hugging it and breathing in your scent…
 

Is it creepy?
Hahaha.
 

But what can I do?
Ukh... I love you and miss you, your whole ridiculously idiotic existence, even though you do not deserve it, definitely don’t.

But what can I do?
Keke.
One cannot control their feelings.
 

....
 

That’s why, I’m asking you to forget me for a while, only until I look for you, until I manage to kill these feelings…

Because it’s better that way, not having my heart burn up and break whenever you only just come to my mind.
 

Let’s be friends, only friends.

I hope you will be happy with her.

...
 

Also, please do not respond to this voicemail. Just accept my decision as it is, do not try to call me. I don’t think I’m going to accept your calls. I might even block you.

Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just need time to pull myself together.
 

That’s it, I guess.
...
This message is already too long, haha.
 

See you around. Someday.

*beep*

A/N:

Soooo, this is a different kind of style from what you are used to. I rarely use first person singular kind of writing, but I've felt it would suit this prompt.
I think it turned out properly?
If it broke your hearts then I've achieved my goal and really did well. xD
However, one thing I feel bad about... poor Eric is going to be cursed at again because of me OTL
OPPA I'M SORRY... but it's easier to make you into the bad guy for some reason OTL I feel terrible OTL
 

Also, if I want to be honest... I should not do this update because 10 comments limit wasn't met with the last update... but I'm already so used to this Sunday-update schedule that I forgot about myself and wrote the story...
HOWEVER
I won't go easy on you guys next time. Strictness works with you that's why I'm only letting it go this once xD *prepares for teacher carrier xD*
 

I hope you liked it despite angst update~ (I'm fairly satisfied with finally being able to do an angst chapter xD)

See you next time~