#5: ·  “look, i know we agreed to be friends and everything but that’s what everyone says when they break up. i can’t take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you’re interested in, okay? it’s killing me” AU

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Hyesung felt like he was going through the seven pits of hell. He really did feel like that and so, he wished his sufferings would end soon. But it did not seem like end was coming any time soon except if he drowned himself in the glass of wine before himself.
 

He wished he could go back in time and change this and that. For example, that certain moment when he accepted staying friends after breaking up.
 

‘I hope we can stay close friends.’
 

‘Yeah sure, why not?’
 

Yes, that’s the moment he wished he could fix. For example, saying something among the lines of ‘Are you mad? No way in hell we could stay friends after all the things we did together in bed!’.

That would do it. That would have saved him from this heart quenching feeling he was going through this moment.
 

Because at such a beautiful evening, sitting on his sofa in his apartment which he was renting together with a friend, sipping on this not so expensive red wine and anyway he would have had such a good time despite the fact of Eric, his ex-boyfriend, sitting right next to him, making him question everything he had ever done since they had broken up and actually desiring those moving lips more than ever… so, despite all of this, he really wished to drop dead that moment or at least being saved somehow, like his roommate coming home.

Which won’t happen, because this certain roommate spent the night out and so, Hyesung was perfectly alone with Eric, not really excepting any kind of disturbing surprise visit.
 

Hyesung was for Eric, let’s state it simply. He was in this state ever since his ‘best friend’ – as they somehow turned out after their break up – arrived to his home and they started to drink and eat snacks, talking casually about this and that.

Sure, he had always been for Eric – before and after that certain break-up.

However, at least he actually had a good time with him. He would have been a fool if he lied and said he did not feel good spending time with Eric. He loved to be with him and it actually helped him getting over breaking-up – aka spending just as much time together, the only difference is that they did not visit the bedroom anymore. But anyway, there was not any kind of difference in their relationship if he wanted to be honest. And he liked it this way as well.
 

However, one hour into their conversation something had happened.

Eric’s speech suddenly turned even personal, he had the voice one uses with their closest friend. Which, that moment, was certainly Hyesung – there is no person on Earth whom could be any closer to Eric than him: lover turned best friend.

Hyesung had a bad feeling over this sudden turn and later he figured his worries weren’t without reason after hearing Eric’s confession:
 

”Hyesung-ah, I have someone I like.”
 

Until this very moment, no matter how drunk he was in some parties, Hyesung never once had anyone dancing on his chest. No one ever stepped on him or anything.

However, that time he could only describe this feeling in his heart this one way: someone was dancing on his chest. Not even one person but more and at least one of them wore high-heel shoes.
 

“Oh, really?” Hyesung mumbled faking a smile, “Do I know…?”
 

“Nah, you don’t know her.” Eric shook his head, “She is from my workplace.”
 

“I see.”
 

An awkward silence had fallen onto them, it was a physical pain but Eric did not seem like he got it because he continued, “I think I’ve fallen in love with her but I don’t think she is interested in me…”
 

Seriously?, Hyesung wanted to ask, Are you seriously telling me this?
Instead he forced a laughter and hit Eric’s back.
 

“Oh, please, why wouldn’t she like you?” He continued laughing and patting Eric’s back, “You are so handsome after all, there is no woman whom would not take a liking to you.”
 

Eric shrugged, “I keep sending signs but…”
 

“Maybe she is just flustered. You don’t need to worry.”
 

Hyesung wanted to finish off this topic of their conversation. Hearing Eric caused his feelings from before come back at him all at once, ripping up his injuries on his heart… he was in pain once again.

To think Eric would move on, to think he was already at the stage of loving someone new…
 

Hyesung would not lie if he said he thought his place next to Eric was pretty much stable. As if he was concreted in there. He thought it won’t ever change and he could stay with Eric forever – even if it did not involve much or any kind of serious physical contact.

What was important is that their relationship did not change much and he felt like he was still the most important person in Eric’s life.

He was living in this very delusion – also, he thought if he felt this way then Eric must be the same as well.
 

However, turns out he was wrong. Oh-so wrong.
 

“Hyesung!” Eric turned to him, he was wearing a desperate expression, “What do you think I should do?”
 

What a bastard, he wanted to cry out but instead he kept it inside, together with his dwelling up tears.

This guy’s ignorance is a physical pain, Hyesung thought that moment. Not thinking about his ex-boyfriend’s feelings to this extent… was Hyesung dreaming? Was he seriously asking for love advice from the one he used to share… so many things?
 

“I don’t really know…” Hyesung smiled flustered and turned away, “I’m not really good with these things…”
 

He wanted Eric to leave. He was seriously considering of just kicking him out and cry himself to sleep.

He did not have the means though because Eric did not let him to.
 

He grabbed his hands, turned him to himself and on a begging tone, he said, “Please, Hyesung, help me! I really have no idea what to do!”
 

At this point Hyesung was not only heartbroken and sad but incredibly frustrated and annoyed. He simply wanted to kick Eric for being so terribly inconsiderate and he could not hold himself back anymore from giving voice to his annoyance.
 

He ripped his hands out of Eric’s grip, ran his fingers through his hair and hissed, “Are you kidding me…”
 

“Hyesung…?”
 

He could not hold himself back anymore and Eric’s confused expression could not stop him either. He just had to talk his mind or else he felt like this will continue on forever and that would drive him crazy for sure.
 

“Look, I know we agreed on staying friends but…” Hyesung sighed as he turned to Eric, “Wasn’t it only for making both of us feel alright after breaking up? I mean…” He looked down and stared at his fingers, “Everyone does this, right?”
 

“What are you trying to…”
 

“What I’m trying to tell is that… Eric, we broke up. True. But we still liked each other, we were together, we did oh-so many erted things to each other…” For a moment his cheeks flushed only just thinking about them and again, he felt for Eric despite his serious heart aching, “That’s why, seriously, you are such an insensitive bastard asking for love advice from me! From me, Eric, your ex!
 

“But we are…”
 

“Yeah, that’s right, we are friends but I still can’t bear with you asking love advice from me!” He let out a loud sigh, “Eric, it’s killing me, so please stop.”
 

“I…”
 

“If you are a human being and if you still have some lingering feelings for me or at least some consideration… then you stop.” Hyesung stood up from the sofa, took the wine bottle and glasses and added, “And go home for tonight.”
 

Hyesung did not wait for his answer though considering his expression, Eric’s mind was probably completely blank that moment. He did not care, he could not care.

He turned his back on Eric and left for the kitchen with the plan of washing the dishes he left there earlier.
 

He did not need to wait for long for the results of his angry speech. Soon, he heard the slamming sound of the entrance door, telling him Eric listened to his words and left.

He had to admit, a tiny bit of a part of him actually expected Eric following him to the kitchen, grabbing him, kissing the life out of him while confessing his love and then they would have had a wild episode in the bedroom, on the nicely made bed which Hyesung always kept like that whenever Eric visited… one can never know, right?
 

However, the moment he heard the entrance door opening and closing… a deep sigh had left his lips, as if his broken love had left his body.

That moment his heart sank a bit, just like the glasses in the water of the kitchen sink…

A/N:

Well hey, aren't you happy to see me so often these days xD value it, don't know how things are going to be in the future xD

Anyway, this is a rather sad chapter, finally being true to the original concept lol We can't have happy endings all the time, eh?
I figured I rarely write the reason why they broke up, they just did and have lingering feelings for each other or still mad love. Honestly., I'm lazy to write reasons. xD
Also, even in real life... sometimes people just part even though they still like each other. Let's forget, love alone isn't enough to run a relationship. (gentle reminder of H&G xD)
Also, I've used a bit of a 'floppy' way of writing. Don't know how to describe. xD But I just did not want to go full-depression depths you know? A bit I went towards the comical path though I've tried to stay serious as well. So it turned into bitter and sad but you know, it won't kill anyone because it's simple. xD
Anyway, hope you liked it despite any of these.
From hear on I'm going to release chapters weekly, every Sunday. (if you keep commenting per se. I'm really grateful by the way, I'm always really happy to read your words^^ It's really inspiring to be honest! Also, I'm going to reply to your recent comments, soon, I'm not ignoring anyone^^)

Thank for reading as always

See you next time