I stumbled into the bathroom, with red swollen eyes. I had no interest in talking, doing, or sleeping. Nothing worked. I bumped into Hoseok, who rushed out, his head hung low. I opened my mouth to say something, but my throat was dry, and I had no interest in talking. I heard the front door slam a few seconds later, and he was gone. What was wrong with me? I should have said something. But I didn't. We were both grieving. I knew that for a fact.

I the tap, and filled the bath. I didn't care that the water was cold. I felt numb all the time anyway. My feet prickled as I entered the bath, and my teeth began to chatter. However, I slipped further into the water, ignoring all of my muscles pleading me to get out. I took a deep breath, and let the water engulf me. I almost stayed under for too long. I shouldn't have done that.

I regretted it.

I shook my damp hair and clambered out of the bath awkwardly, landing on all fours. I collapsed on the pure white tiles of the floor and shivered. I grasped for a towel, and wrapped it around my shoulders shakily, managing to sit up a little. My eyes wildly looked around, searching for an answer to my problem. As if I'd find it right in front of me. That was wishful thinking. I put my head in my hands and brought my knees to my chin. I felt something grind against my foot as I moved it. I unburied my face out of my hands and looked at what was under my foot. It blended in unbelievably well with the tiled floor. It was a tiny white capsule, and I recognised it instantly as Hoseok's sleeping pills.That made me stand up. I used the edge of the bath to steady myself, and knocked a bottle off onto the floor. The sound it made rolling across the tiles filled the room. I picked it up; blinking to make sure it was real. It was Hoseok's bottle of sleeping pills.

And it was empty.

I blindly ran out of the apartment barefoot, just in boxers and an old oversized t-shirt. I immediately sprinted to the bridge, ignoring the cuts the rough gravel made on my feet. Only yesterday we were talking. He seemed so calm, relaxed, prepared. I thought he was getting better. It was all just a façade, a lie. We talked about our favourite places, the beach, the train tracks, the forest, the alleyway, the petrol station, the bridge. The closest place was the bridge, and I knew it was his personal favourite. I had told him we'd go there tomorrow. I can't be too late. I can't let him be the second.

I saw him. Right ahead of me. I urgently yelled out to him. "Hoseok!"

He began to turn around. A smile of relief began to form on my face. Then he began to fall. And I dashed over to stay with him on the ground. His head hit the concrete with a sickening sound. I was scared and worried.

I don't remember calling the ambulance, but I must have, as they arrived within minutes. Too long for my liking. I refused to leave his side, and I stayed with him in the ambulance. I was lucky. So was he. After hours of wanting to burst, they told me he would live, and that I could see him.

I stumbled into his room, and he was asleep. Always sleeping, that Hoseok. I shook my head, and sat on the chair beside his hospital bed. I hated hospitals. But I stayed. I brushed his hair off of his closed eyes, as a tear fell on his pale cheek. My tear. "Do you remember when I said I loved you?" I whispered.