I hadn't been in favour the parties that went on without me. Not that they listened to my opinions, or even pretended to listen. I went with anyway, because I needed to make sure that they were okay. To make sure that Yoongi would get home safely with Jungkook, to make sure that Jungkook would be able to handle Yoongi's unpredictable and often irrational outbursts, to make sure Jimin didn't get too wasted so he could look after Hoseok sufficiently, and to make sure Namjoon wouldn't drag Taehyung into any more trouble. I needed to be there.

I watched them all closely during the evening, mostly through my camcorder, and although I was there for them, I didn't know whether they were there for me. I was ignored, shoved aside, known as the one who was staying sober, even though they were fully aware that Jungkook wasn't drinking either. I made me sad, and distant. I felt like I was truly losing them. Every single one.

I ended up spending the night sat at a table away from the noise and bustle, building a house of cards. It was tedious, but so was life. After every failure, I could almost hear Hoseok telling me to give it another attempt. It kept my spirits high. A small crowd had gathered by the time I was nearing completion. I didn't bother to see whether they were my friends or just strangers who happened to be invited to the party. Maybe I was afraid of the answer. I shook it off, and kept my head in the game. I was determined.

I had to get the last one positioned perfectly for this to work. I couldn't have it collapse again. I took a few deep breaths to stop my hands from shaking, before slowly and carefully placing the last two cards on top. I removed my hands quickly, and held my breath to make sure they weren't going to topple down again. But they stayed. I smiled, and I went to high-five whoever was nearest, but I didn't. Because within the time it took for me to blink, Taehyung had swiped his hand across the table, cutting through the cards, sending each one flying in a different direction. I rubbed my neck, trying to control my frustration.

I looked up at Taehyung for an explanation, but he wasn't looking at me. He was ignoring me. He was always so stubborn when he was in a bad mood. I sighed and turned to the others, but they weren't interested in what I had to say or do. And then it hit me.

I only just realised. They're like this because of me.

I had caused this. It was my fault.