He drank in silence, hoping that the answer lied at the bottom of the glass, and then the bottom of the bottle, and then the next bottle, and the next. And so the night dragged on. Few words were exchanged between us, and the words that were spoken were slurred and senseless. It was a numb, dull kind of pain. I drank a little too, just not as much as Yoongi. He was too far down the track to turn back in terms of alcohol consumption, and lately, he had built up resilience against its negative effects. At least he wasn't smoking tonight. Taehyung had managed to get Namjoon to stop, so I was trying to do the same for Yoongi. Looking at him happily swigging the alcohol, I wondered whether this was worth it. I desperately wanted it to be. But after our behaviour recently, all the consequences won't be too far behind.

Yoongi flung his current bottle of booze at the wall, but his aim was off and it landed short, disintegrating into shards on the floor. His actions caught me unawares and I flinched slightly at the sharp, piercing, high pitched sound caused by the collision. He dragged himself to his feet, straining to get his balance. It was starting. His temper was on a trigger. The smallest thing would have him flying into rage, yelling, saliva spitting out with each jagged word. He slammed his fists across the desk, scattering our belongings over the floor. I flinched again. I had to intervene. This was getting out of hand. 

"Yoongi, please stop," I pleaded, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Don't ing touch me," He snarled, throwing me backwards as he turned to face me. Just those few words were enough to make my heart freeze and my vision blurry. I hopelessly hurled myself at him, clasping my arms around his waist. He laughed mechanically, in his drunken way, not his usual caring way. His grip on me stiffened so much that I could feel his nails digging into my back through the fabric of my shirt, and he rammed me into the wall behind me. He pushed me firmly away. We waited for a brief second, and his eyes narrowed. It saddened me to see him so wasted.

"What's wrong with you? Snap out of it!" I wailed, smacking him across the face with my fist, a little more forceful than I had intended. He tripped backwards, using his hands on the floor to steady himself. 

"Nothing to say!?" I continued, pulling him to his feet clumsily by his white shirt. He started to swing at me, but he lost his momentum. Instead, he latched onto me again, shoving me to the floor. I clutched my side in pain. My back crashed onto the side of the sofa, and I didn't want to get up. I heard his footsteps thud and I looked up nervously, not sure of what I would see. He had a chair in his hands, and he was shaking violently, puffing. He shook his fringe off his forehead and yelled as he chucked it at the mirror above the desk. It broke off into chunks of splintered wood, and left the mirror shattered where it had struck. This time, I didn't flinch.

"If you stay with me I'll kill you bit by bit. That's what I do to my loved ones. Why? I'm not altogether sure. But when you soar high I'll drag you down. Look at what just happened for 's sake! Here's your warning. If you know me at all you'll realise this isn't a joke. I recommend you leave by morning," Yoongi grimaced, out of breath, his voice so hoarse he could barely speak.

I was shell-shocked, like someone had hit me with a ton of bricks. "Yoongi... d-don't say things like t-that, don't say things y-you don't mean," I stuttered, trying to smile as if he had told me the funniest joke in the world. As if we were staring up at our helicopter lights which we thought were stars. The fight hadn't been as serious as our others. It wasn't as bad as last time, when he refused to stop, when he hit me. "What's wrong?" I asked timidly with bleary eyes, a pair of tears racing down my sullen cheeks.

He didn't answer. He didn't even look at me.

"Tell me why you keep acting out and partying," I sniffed, shuffling so close to him that I could hear his ragged, unsteady breaths. He wrapped his arms around me, soft sobs escaping his mouth. His embrace was warm, and his strong arms seemed very protective when wound around my bruised body, even though he was breaking down inside. The world around me melted away as I squeezed him back, crying with him.

I knew the reason why, I don't know why I asked a question with an obvious answer, when there were so many other things I could have said. It was the same reason why I started acting out last month. He had saved me from it, so now I it was time for me to return the favour. Well, I would if I knew how.

We were still grieving. But I knew he wouldn't admit it. It felt like emptiness inside my heart, sheer nothingness that somehow took over me. It gave me this heavy feeling, like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders and there was nothing you could do to get out from under it. It was a problem that couldn't easily be fixed. And I tended to avoid those sorts of problems.