[9]

Genre(s): Romance, Light-fluff, Musical

Author: MicTest

Reviewer: Zutrazelle

Title [4/5]

I can see the connection with the story very well, and it's nice that you've put an emphasis on the "swings" since there's a Filipino drama entitled "On The Wings of Love", almost similar as yours. I believe you did that to avoid confusion, or am I just being rational?

Anyways, the only problem I had with it is it somehow sounds cliché, but overall, I couldn't suggest a nice title since "Swings" wouldn't really garner attention like the original title.

Description & Foreword [10/10]

It was honestly short, but you did the crafting of words pretty good. It does tell the readers of the main thing, but at the same time, there were a few things unmentioned, which seemingly catches the readers' attentions.

Flow [10/15]

There were a few problems I had with your flow. Yong Hwa's entrance was done rather harshly, it felt like you just pushed him in the scene. Second, let's be practical- why would you ask a girl who had caught on with your secret to be your girlfriend? That's like asking for a quick farewell to your reputation. You could have pushed him a little bit in the next chapter, I wouldn't mind.

Then there's school. Is Joo Hyun even going to school? Because the only time I saw that was when she was talking with the Pencil Choirs. I think it'll be best if you put a few more descriptions of Joo Hyun's activities in school BESIDES discussing things with the Pencil Choirs.

The one thing I like about your flow though, is Junmyeon's appearances. He always appears at the right time.

Grammar [13/15]

I was glad that there wasn't much to worry about your grammar structure- everything was pretty good. However, I did have a problem with your vocabulary. It was pretty much simple, in fact, it's TOO simple. There wasn't really any new words I had encountered, you're just repeating some words (such as sigh) for the umpteenth time. It's really annoying at times.

Try spreading a few more words here and there- and even better, try structing your words more deeply. Think of it as a challenge.

Characterization [16/20]

Your characters didn't really sparked interest in me until the (I believe that it's a since it's the most exciting part of the story for me).

Joo Hyun's character needs a few more work. She's an introvert, let's be realistic- no matter how curious (or nosy) she is, wouldn't anyone ran away when they hear danger screaming? Her humbleness had caused me to somehow think of her as Mary Sue, which is honestly a character many people despised. She was somehow cliché, I think a few more descriptions would do the trick.

Yong Hwa's character is somehow a mystery to me. I am assuming that the girl who slapped him was his ex girlfriend? I still don't know anything about Yong Hwa, so judging him will be kinda hard. I am in hopes of seeing a few words about him in your next update.

Junmyeon is one of my favorite character in your story. He sounds like the kid that would go to church every Sunday and do community service and regularly give a big amount for charity. He sounds like the goody-two shoes I often see in movies, but meh. He still got my attention. There was something in the way you described him that had .

I don't know if Jonghyun is a main character or not- but I predict that he will play a huge role on your story. The way he doubted Yonghwa's claim of Seohyun being his girlfriend interested me. The way he seems to dislike Seohyun has somehow made me think that there's something going on between the two. I don't know which, but I know he will play an important role.

Overall, your characters aren't really that bad. Joo Hyun's character seems to develop more and more by chapters, which is a big improvement. I am hoping that the same thing happens to Yonghwa's characterization.

Plot [17/20]

Being forced to be a girlfriend/slave of a famous vocalist or whatnot is actually NOT new, in fact- it's one of the most cliché plots I've encountered these days. However, it remained original because of the few twists you started giving. The twists actually made your story different from the crowd, which is pretty much surprising- since I didn't feel like you overused it with the twists. I'm pretty sure your plot will improve more with future updates.
To be honest with you, at first- I planned to read only 5 chapters of your story because I concluded the entire thing, but the moment I started, I couldn't stop. Your plot keeps unraveling and growing new branches- the possibilities of what if's started to increase. I mean, at every new chapter- I could feel the plot getting more and more different than what I originally thought it should be.

Personaly Enjoyment (And Comment) [13/15]

Although I probably did this a lot, I'll say it again: "I truly enjoyed your story"
Your story was kinda different, in a good way. The element I like the most is your plot- I really like how it keeps unraveling into something else than what I originally thought it would be in the first place. You sure do caught me in for a surprise. I like how the drama keeps going on, and I like how you tend to make things slow at the most unexpected moments- in that way, the readers can think more about what's happening.

I'm sure your story will improve more as time pass, and I am really eager to see it...

Keep up the good work! ^^ ☻☺☻

Overall Score: [83/100]

Reviewer's Note:

Hello~! Thank you so much for requesting at the shop, we hope to see your username in our request list soon.

I'm sorry if I had hurt you in any way with my words, please don't take it to heart. But if you did take my words to heart- please think of it as a part of improving. LOL, getting a bit dramatic here XD

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