[7]

Genre(s): drama, romance slight-angst

Author: coldlights

Reviewer: Zutrazelle

Title [4/5]

The title is okay. It's quite interesting if you're looking for winter-themed stories. The title isn't an eye candy though, but that's alright. Your title isn't really shunned by other story titles either. I haven't seen any other stories with titles such as yours, so that helped the aniticipation increased- since people these days doesn't write winter-themed stories that often. There were a few things that the title gave away, and that was the thing that most of the events might take up on the ice rink.

Description & Foreword [9/10]

The description and foreword is fine, but it's just confusing when you put it into thought. I mean, after I finished reading the story, I re-read your description and I was like, huh? There was something off, but I couldn't put my fingers into it.

Flow [15/15]

I liked the flow of your story! Everything was right on place and it's absolutely picture perfect! You managed the events/scenes well!

Grammar [14/15]

I liked how there were only few grammatical errors. I am a critique when it comes to errors on grammar, and I was pleased to see only few (don't worry, they can't be notcied if you're not really paying attention to spellings) of this error. Some examples of this mistakes are the way you confuse me with your "there" and "their".

But let's move on to the good side. The positivity I found in this is that your structure is so clear. You described things so clearly, you even used comparison! It makes reading more pleasant when you compare the thing you write to life, because truly, writing is life. I really like your writing style.

Characterization [17/20]

I docked three points because of Sehun's character. Before we get to that part, let's first discuss Irene and Jong In's. Technically speaking, their characters are really good. They were really well described, and I like how strongly made they are. Gayoung and Chanyeol's character was fine, they weren't described like Irene and Jong In's but I got the feeling.

Now, Sehun and Krystal's characters are confusing- especially Sehun's. I get it that Krystal is supposed to be the antagonist, but why is she like that? She acts like those divas in the movies. Her character was plain to me. The thing with her mother, on the other hand, kept me interested. Now off to Sehun. Sehun's character was a big blank. He's supposed to be a main character, but after readin your story, I can't help but ponder over him. I mean, why is he like that? One minute he's cute, kind and totally adorable- then he becomes mean, strict and harsh. I find his character development rather poor and in need of improvement.

Plot [18/20]

The plot was good. It is pretty interesting since it revolves around ice skating since it's a concept I rarely see. The beauty in your plot os the way you portrayed the emotions. The emtions in the plot is truly overwhelming and had made me cry in the most unexpected moments- there were a few times you caught me by surprise. The plot was purely promising. You promised a very good story. It was like there was a new found light in it that I can't seem to get, and it makes me curious- and the curiousity kills me to find out what happens next.

The way the plot and its style had appeared quite grand was rather extra ordinary and wonderful!

Personaly Enjoyment (And Comment) [13/15]

I enjoyed your story very much. I am really into Kai and Sehun fan fictions since I'm a fan of both (and EXO, of course ^^).

The story was a series of events that seems to make me more curious every minute. It's really good, and I'll happlily recommend this to my friends and fellow reviewers. This story has an actual plot that won't let you down. It's a really good fiction. I am overwhelmed everytime I read the story. From the title to its style and content, nothing had failed to impress me. I am really glad to have worked on this.

AsianFanfics

[7]

Comments