Chapter 9. Jessica : Working It Out.

“Yah Jung Soojung. Unpack your suitcase.” I playfully nudge my sister who's sprawling on the bed. It's our first morning in LA. We arrived last night and she has done nothing but passing out cold on the bed since then.

After much discussion in our family, we finally allow Soojung to keep on shooting for her TV show. Arrangement are made for none of us can really let our Soojungie live alone in LA while carrying her baby. We discussed with her agent to hire a personal assistant to help her both at work and at home. And while I have a few business meetings to attend in the USA I also use the time to accompany Soojung in her rented apartment. The plan is mom, dad and I will take turn to be with Soojung until she wraps up her obligation here.

Dad, albeit reluctantly, has given up on the idea of Sehun openly marrying Soojung. The three of us has agreed on letting Sehun and Soojung taking full control of their relationship. From what I gather, Sehun is actually care of my sister and her pregnancy. I often overhear Soojung talking with him on the phone. The fact that he doesn't just wash his hands clean and neglect my sister is enough for me right now. I fully understand the importance of keeping thing like this as a secret in the entertainment world. I can see why Soojung doesn't want their issue to go public yet.

“Soojung.” I poke at my sister's nose. “Wake up. It's 8 already. You need to eat.” I set a plate of bagels and two glasses of fresh juice on the nightstand, the food I have just obtained from a short run to a nearby cafe a few minutes ago.

“Food!” She jolts up, stretching out and yawning simultaneously. “Yummm. Bagel.”

I shift the plate away from her reach. “Take a bath and change your clothes first. You stink.”

“Unnieeeeee.” She flops back on the bed, stretching some more. “My good clothes are all in the suitcase.”

“So?”

“I can't change unless I unpack it first.”

“And?”

“I'm too lazy for it.”

Soojung pouts and bats her eyelashes at me. A gesture that would have melted even the hardest stone on earth. But I'm not a stone, I'm her unnie, and I practically numb of such cuteness.

“Go take a bath.”

“While my dear unnie unpack my suitcase?” She rises on her feet, stretching again.

“In your dream.” I playfully shove her on the , taking one bagel and chewing it noisily. “Hurry before I eat them all.”

“Unnie...” Soojung pouts again, rubbing her still flat belly through her shirt. “Look at your mean aunty, baby. She knows how hungry we are but she eats the bagel first.”

“Aish!” I stand to pinch her cheek. “Don't use my niece as a weapon against me.”

“See baby?” She continues rubbing, sticking her tongue out at me. “Your aunty even goes violent at your poor mommy.”

“Arrgh. Here!” I let Soojung takes a full bite of the bagel. “Now go! You smell like a decomposed airplane food.”

Soojung triumphant laughs echoes in the small apartment and I feel a smile tugs at my lips. I'm glad that Soojung seems to be happy, no matter the uncertainties she have to deal with right now.

I reach for my phone. Now it's time to deal with the uncertainty of my own relationship. I send my husband a text two days ago, informing him of my departure to LA. He hasn't replied yet. We haven't really talk since Soojung's stay at the hospital. I have asked him if I can stay with my parents and Soojung until we sort out the issues around my sister's pregnancy. He have agreed, saying that it might be good for us to cool down first before start discussing on our issue again.

I still think that having a child of my own is not what I really want at the moment. But as I see how Soojung's pregnancy has brought some short of excitement for my parents, I start to see why my husband want to give his parents grandchildren as well.

Maybe now that we have lived separately for almost a month, we can finally agree on something. Maybe I can talk my husband to postpone his plane of having a child for a little while. Just a little while.

I dial his number anxiously. It feels like forever for the phone call to connect, the dialing tone feels annoyingly loud to my ear.

He doesn't pick up.

I finish my bagel and take a sip of the orange juice before dialing again.

“Hello.” He finally picks up. His voice seems hoarse and straining. “Jessica?”

“Hi,” I swallow hard, how to start this conversation? “Are you sleeping?” It's almost midnight in Seoul, but he usually stays up late in weekend.

“No. What's up? Are you okay? Is something happening to Soojung?” His voice laced with concern and I suddenly realize how much I miss his attention and sincerity.

“I'm okay. Soojung too. It's just... I want to talk to you.” I sigh. “Have you read my text?”

“You texted?” I hear him clicking through his phone. “Oh yeah. I missed it. I'm sorry. Are you in LA already?”

“Yeah. We arrived last night. Are-” I stop for there's suddenly someone talking in the background, a woman. Uneasiness attacks my nerve. Is he with another woman right now?

“Yul? Who-”

There's a commotion on the other end of the line. I have to press my phone to my ear to hear better. For a moment I can only hear people talking and rustle of footsteps.

“Oh God, thank you. Thank you.”

I hear Yuri whispers and I can't restrain myself from asking. “Yul, what's happened?”

He doesn't answer.

“Hello? Yuri?” I speak louder this time.

“Hello? Jessica? Are you still there?”

“Yuri, what's happening? Where are you?”

“Oh God. I'm sorry, baby. I'm kind off in the middle of something right now. Can we talk later?”

“Sure.” I try to act cool despite the annoying curiosity nagging at the back of my mind.

“I'll call you soon. Okay? Don't be angry.” He surely knows me well.

“Can you at least tell me what's going on? I overheard people talking.” There's no immediate respond which practically tells me where I actually stand in this situation. “It's okay. I'm sorry for disturbing you. I guess we'll talk later.”

“Jess...” He sighs. It's easy to picture my husband rubbing his temple in frustration for he has done it so many times whenever I nag him or whenever we argue. I suddenly realize that I have gone too far.

“Yul. I'm sorry. I don't mean to nag. I just-” I exhale, it's not easy but something in me forcing the words out, “I miss you.”

Again. No immediate respond.

“Okay then. Take care. Call me when you have the time. Bye.”

“Jess. Don't hang up!”

I don't.

“I'm in the hospital right now.”

I gasp.

“It's mom. She was admitted three days ago and underwent a surgery yesterday. A nurse just informed us that mom has finally regained consciousness.”

“Oh God. Yul, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know.”

“It's okay. It's not your fault. I didn't tell you. You know, we're not-” He stops mid-sentence, someone is talking to him again. “I need to go, Jess. We'll talk later, okay? I... I miss you too. So much.”

He ends the call before I have the chance to say another word. I clutch my phone to my chest, chastising myself for not being there with him. The one man who always stands by my side through thick and thin ever since we were nothing but best friend.

It's not a secret that my mother-in-law is not in her prime of health anymore, being old and all. But It never occurred to me before that she might needs a surgery. I blame myself for not taking time to know her better. I blame myself for my inability to see pass her cold treatment toward me and be a better daughter-in-law. I blame myself for not being the best wife for my husband.

My heart aches, thinking that thousand miles away from here, my husband is in a hospital worrying over his ill mother witho