Chapter 13. Mom : October 24th

October the 24th is one of the most special days in my life.

It's my youngest daughter's birthday.

26 years ago, a few minutes before the day end, a tiny baby with extremely rounded cheeks have came adorning my world.

Back then, my husband and I had been extremely worried throughout the course of my second pregnancy. I had a miscarriage before, also bleeding and spotting at the first trimester. But our second daughter was born healthy, happy to scream her lungs out in my loving arms.

I remember giving the baby her first kiss on her smooth forehead, whispering her name and a promise to love her forever. Krystal Jung Soojung along with her big sisters are the greatest presents in my life, the gifts that keep on giving.

And now said gift is standing in front of me, on her birthday, in a wedding dress.

Our Soojung is scrutinizing her look on the full-length mirror, twirling a little in her empire-line sequined dress.

“Tell me it's not pretty and we're not sisters anymore.” My oldest daughter wraps me in a back hug, resting her chin on my shoulder.

“Unnie!” Soojung turns back at us, smiling widely. “It's so pretty. I love the sequin, I love the cut, the lace, the keyhole back, I love everything. Thank you so much.”

“It's not too uncomfortable, is it? I swear your belly is growing an inch each day.”

Soojung shakes her head no, frowning. “Please tell me I don't look fat.”

“You are fat.” Sooyeon sticks her tongue out and earns herself a flick on the forehead from me. “A radiant, glowing, and healthy kind of fat.” She pouts, rubbing at her forehead.

“You are perfect, princess.” I hold Soojung's hand in my right hand and Sooyeon's hand in my left hand. “My daughters are both perfect. In their very own unique, migraine-inducing ways.”

They chuckles, my precious children.

We give Soojung and her dress the last touch-ups while teasing each other and finish right when my husband enters the room.

“Is the pretty bride ready?” He comes closer and kisses Soojung's temple while patting at Sooyeon's head. “I love the tuxedo. Thanks, Sooyeonnie.”

“You're welcome, Dad. Is the priest ready?”

“Yes. Soojung?” My husband extends his hand to take Soojung's but the latter shakes her head.

“I need to pee first. Help me hold my dress, Unnie. Mom and Dad can go downstairs first”

I then walk side by side with the man I married some 32 years ago, only a few minutes before we give our daughter into someone else's care.

When it was Sooyeon's time. I remember my husband held my hand in his hand. He confessed nervousness along with reluctance of letting her first daughter go, wanting Sooyeon to stay as his little girl forever. I remember teasing him until his face turned bright red. I remember the kiss we shared right before we entered the church.

“Nervous?” I ask as we step out of the cottage. Maui's October wind blow against us when we reach the sandy beach. I have to hold at my periwinkle dress to keep the hem from flying up.

“It's so obvious, isn't it?”

I nod, smiling. He keeps dabbing his sweaty forehead with the handkerchief I've always tucked in his shirt pocket.

“I can't believe Soojung is getting married.”

“I know.” My smile doesn't wear off. “It seems like only yesterday she told me how all boys in the kindergarten are gross and how her dad is the only man she likes.”

“Sooyeon and Yuri. Soojung and Sehun. ” My husband stops by the coconut tree, a few feet away from where the ceremony will take place. “There will be only the two of us left after this.”

“It's not like we won't be meeting them anymore.”I gaze away at the wedding arch decorated with white roses and lilacs. There are no other guest but Yuri, Sehun's friend Jongin, Amber and two cottage's staffs. All of them are somehow facing the sea, as if waiting for the sunset in this windy afternoon.

“Let's not be alone, Sookyung. Let's not get a divorce”

His sudden request baffles me. We haven't straightened our problem yet and the many weeks spent away from him hasn't given me any idea on where I want our relationship to lead to.

“I love you. Don't leave me.”

I look away from his gaze. “Your secretary. Don't you want to pursue a happier life with her?”

“We don't feel for each other, Sookyung-ah. It was just... a fling.”

“Oh.”

He gulps. “I might have not apologized enough, Sookyung. I also can't tell you in words how much I regret my wrong-doing. But this is me, asking you to come back to me.” He start to kneel down, caught me by surpise.

I catch him right before he bows on the sandy beach, holding him up and staring into his eyes. “Please don't do this. I'm the one who have to bow to you and beg for apology. Forgive me Eric.”

“let's forgive each other and move on. Let's spend the short rest of our life together.”

“It won't be fair for you. I'm not a good wife. I have my past clouding over me.”

“I don't care. It's impossible to be in love 24/7 with the same person Sookyung-ah, but everytime I see our daughters I can only see how happy we are as a family. Such happiness worth every single pain, I can't bear to lose it.”

“I've been seeing psychiatrist while in LA. She said the accident gave me the trauma. I'm planning on getting a therapy but it will take time. I don't want to weigh you down.”

“Let me help you deal with it. Let's work this out as husband and wife.”He takes my hand in his. His palm is as sweaty as when I held it right before Sooyeon's wedding. “Let's take one step at a time. We don't have to go back sharing bed or living in the same house. Let's start from zero. Let's be good friends again and move forward at your desired pace.”

His proposal seems so plausible and so sweet. It touches my aching heart so good my wound heals a bit. Without actually realizing it, I give his hand a squeeze.

He smiles at me. I smile at him. And everything seems to be magically quite alright again with us.

“Let's be good parents for our daughters. The best grandpa and grandma for Soojung's child. Maybe, in time, we can be great partner for each other too.”

I'm crying now, tears roll down my cheeks relentlessly. He takes me in his arms, holding me like I'm his fragile belonging, kissing the top of my head ever so gently.

“I'm sorry, Eric.” I beg between sniffs.

“I'm sorry too, Sookyung. Let's be us again.”

I look up and he kisses my lips. I can't remember any kiss as good as this. I can't remember such a fluttering feeling before.

I kiss him back. The sound of crashing waves and the breeze of the wind embrace us into one.

“Oh my god.” I hear Sooyeon exclaiming.

“I can't believe this.” Of course our Soojung chimes in too. “Mom and Dad are trying to steal my wedding day thunder.”

We pull apart. I look away from my giggling daughters while my husband is scratching the back of his head.

“We've got a wedding to get through, Dad. Please wait at least until the ceremony is over to get lovey-dovey with your wife.”