"-Youngjae? Are you alright?" Jaebum asked the boy sat in the kitchen, on a chair, knees against his chest and arms wrapping them. The room was quite dark as only a small lamp from the living room was embroidering a dash of lights with the buildings' lights outside the window. And Youngjae was staring at those streets lights as if he was hypnotized. Beside on the table, Jaebum could see a glass filled with something that might be orange juice. Youngjae seemingly didn't took one sip of it...

As the boy didn't answer and even didn't gave any sign that he heard his roomate's question, Jaebum get closer to him. He could barely see his face since the younger was crazy busy staring outside. He patted the younger's shoulders, hoping for a reaction but none came. 

"-What's on sleepy head?" He knocked smoothly on his hairs, hoping teasing the boy would knock some sense into him...

"-Get lost!" Youngjae replied, not even vehemently, it was rather a whisper maybe even a plea.

But it was the first time ever Jaebum had heard such words in his fellow's mouth. It was coarse and so calm at the same time. It was stabbing him right in the heart. After some seconds he remembered to breath. 

He came in front of the window, knelt down to be under the boy and laid his hands on Youngjae's one that still were wrapping his legs.

"-What's going on? Did I do something wrong?"

But the boy was adament not answering him, he only kept gazing at the night, he didn't even bent the head to look at him properly.

"-Youngjae, please. Look at me."

Seconds had passed when he finally agreed to look at the man below.

And Jaebum was distraught by the pain those eyes were displaying. Even in the night, even without any proper lights he could see it. It was something gleaming in the darkness, something like tears inside the pupil.

"-Heyy what's on? Did something bad happen to your family? "

The boy opened slightly his mouth but closed it up before even muttering a word.

"-Youngjae please tell me!" Jaebum insisted while strengthen his grap on the younger's hand. " Like I can't withstand you being like this, I wanna help you. Please."  There were disgust in those eyes and Jaebum couldn't understand why. If only he had the younger's analysis skills, maybe he could get something out of this sample of emotions...

"-Go away. I wanna be alone."

Jaebum sighed.

"-Come on let me know what's up! " He pleaded.

"-You wouldn't like to hear it anyway. " The younger replied turning his gaze back to the window.

"-I don't care wether I like it or not! What I care is why you're like this and how I can help you!"

"-Why am I like this?" he asked maybe more for himself than for JB. Then his eyes seemed to cease moving, blinking, living. Only staring at a building away. And something sparkling trickled along his cheeks. 

Immediately, Jaebum wiped out the tears. Then without pondering it, he frame the baby face of the boy with his hands and make him look back at him.

"Youngjae, you can tell me everything, and if you don't trust me as a friend, then do it by thinking of me as a leader, as your closest manager right? Because I can't let you go on like this. Your eyes are freaking me out and make me fear that you might do something wrong later on."

"Yaah," The younger began in a trembling voice, "are you a two-timer or just a liar?"

Jaebum's eyes went bigger as this sentence was very not one of those he was expecting to hear... and he really had no idea on what was the boy referring at.

"Ne-neh?" 

Youngjae take a glance around and breathed once to dissipate the tears that were threatening to flow.

"Your moans.... I can't forget them. " He finally blurted, looking back in the elder's eyes. 

That's when pictures hit him. That's when memories his view. That's when feelings overwhelmed him. That's when he realized he actually did something very wrong although he couldn't properly understand what in those was so badly hurting his roomate. However he could feel the wound in their peaceful relationship, he could feel he had broken something between them, something like trust and brotherhood. 

He felt his hands being removed from the younger's cheeks and he saw him stand up and leave.

"-You-Youngjae! Wait!" He yelled through the kitchen, waking up from the memories series. 

He didn't knew what to do nor what to say, but he couldn't let Youngjae go  off. Actually he should have pondering the younger's sentences in order to find the barely hidden sense, but he was feeling in a hurry. In a hurry to feel Youngjae safe. To make him alright. He needed to make him alright.

He stood up and headed to their common bedroom : the door was already closed. He suprised himself by knocking at his own bedroom. Though no answers came out. He wanted to call him, to ask him wether it was okay for him to enter, but then he thought the other may hear him and they may thing something was up. And this was the last situation he wanted to barge into. That's why he didn't wait furthermor to open the door smoothly. His eyes  flew over the room and he located the wanted lump very quickly. It was under his blankets, a hill covered with blankets! Jaebum came closer and then, without even thinking about it, he jumped in the bed. He get into the blankets and hugged Youngjae from behind.

"-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

"-I don't need your sorry." his sudden hoarse voice claimed in the darkness.

"-Sure.  But I do owe you explanations, right?"

"-Because you've some? I mean some... that deserves to be heard?"

Jaebum enlaced his arm around the younger's side, wrapping the upper part of his stomache. Youngjae often acted like this whenever he was feeling unsafe. And each time he felt his arm wrapping him he could feel safe and... beloved. He was hoping he was triggering the same feelings to Youngjae's body. He wanted him to feel safe even though he had a lot of reasons to not feel so.

"-Maybe they don't deserve to be heard, but.. you may still want to hear them. Am I not right?"

"-Tell"

Jaebum caught his breath before opening the mouth.

"-Look, Youngjae, I really love Bambam. My body need him as you need to eat chocolate twice a day! It's as simple as that!"

Seconds passed.

"-But.... even though I love him this much... I can't not have you. You're my best dude, the only one I can rely on when I'm tired, scared or sad. You're always here for me with the best words ever, those that heals every pain."

Silence. Jaebum didn't knew what to do to spread some life in the body he was hugging. Then  his head just came closer to the younger's hair, automatically, he inhaled the nice smelt of fruits that those messy hair were giving off. This flavour was always calming him down, soothing his nerves in whatever circumstances he was in.

But he felt the boy tensed under his action.

"-Jae - bum... just don't."

"-Don't what?" he whispered at his ear and the boy barely hide a jolt,  "What's on bro? For once let me be the one helping you." He murmured, his lips away too near to Youngjae's neck at the boy's tastes. 

"-Just........don't say you care the band if...... if you still mess up with him in the practice room". The boy couldn't say straight a sentence, he seemed to breath in to give himself some courage to say out loud the things deep hidden in his heart.... or maybe was it that he was crying? 

Jaebum strengthened the embrace at the thought.

"-I don't buy you're like this because you think I don't care the band enough. Youngjae, you're smart, you're one of the smarter boy I've ever known, and I can't imagine you really think that some bromance in a group will crash the band in a flash."

"-You're right..." 

Jaebum opened wide his eyes in the darkness at the murmure, it wasn't even a whisper, it was more a sigh to the extent that in the end he wans't that sure anymore he heard it properly. Did he just heard what he wanted to? 

"-Please tell me!" Jaebum insisted, wedging his head between Youngjae's neck and shoulders.

And once again, he felt the boy tensing...

"-Find out yourself JB, because I won't speak it up."  His voice was more deterred now.

The elder sighed in the crook of his neck, and the younger shivered. He sensed it and decided to end the hug here, maybe he disgusted the boy too much for him to bear any skin-touch. 

But he still stayed in the younger's bed, he needed to feel his comforting presence. 

And silently he began to collect all the memories he had with Youngjae, especially those which were quite recents. He needed to find out what was going on. It couldn't be he was disgusted by homouality, he had never mutter a word of disgust or depleaseant feelings about it. At the opposite, he had always have bright eyes when Jackson and Mark were going crazy to make fanservice, even when he developped the first skin-touches with Bambam he was happy and teasing them to go further pretending that it was "serving our fans" . Only when he began to have something real with Bam, he became nervous. He began to scold him "for the sake of the band". This was inconsistent, totally inconsistent, which was unusual with the Youngjae he knew. 

In fact Youngjae was almost fostering the bromance and skin-touches for the sake of the band (fanservice), but then two weeks later he says the right opposite claiming that bromance is dangerous for the band. 

Jaebum shook his head, all of this was strange and irrelevant.

He recalled Youngjae like stone in the kitchen, a trail of tears along his cheeks... Even the thought was driving him crazy... but he still managed to focus on the details that could lead him to the truth. 

'Yaah, are you a two-timer or just a liar?' 

He turned bolt his head to the lump beside him. What was the inner meaning of this??! This sentence was exactly the one he had to analyze...

Okay he lied to him, he said he would step away from Bam and he clearly didn't. But why a two-timer? Did he heard rumors from him having a thing with a girl or something like that? 

He was looking for any hopothesis that could knock some sense into the situation but sleepiness was begining to wrap him smoothly and he let himself go in the cotton dark.

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I know I've no excuses to having let you guys be waiting for this much of time, soooorrry! So I thought what could I do to be forgiven? And I decided that I'll write the next chapter for tomorrow! :D 
Beside, don't hesitate to comment! You know how I like to read your comments! ;p