CHAPTER 11

DRUNK IN LOVE

- I love you, Kim Hanbin, lets be together forever! Is that what you were hoping to hear, really? – Bobby gives Hanbin a sympathetic smile, pouring a shot of soju into his glass. Even with the weak light coming from the supermarket they’ve been sitting in front of for the past hour he can see the distinct hint of pink touching upon Hanbin’s cheeks as soon as he mentions Kim Jinhwan.

- No, I just…- B.I is all sprawled on the table by now as he mumbles something unintelligible into the crook of his elbow, avoiding Jiwon’s eyes. He didn’t even drink that much - they shared about 3 bottles of soju between them so far and Hanbin’s been dashing it with Sprite anyway, because he doesn’t like the taste of pure alcohol. Drunk or not, he can’t stop his face from reddening at Bobby’s teasing.

Frankly speaking, Hanbin imagined every possible outcome before he confessed to Jinhwan. He had lots of free time to think on his hands and a very vivid imagination. The amount of dramas he watched in the years of his relationshipless life didn’t help either. Neither did the fact that dramas had little to do with reality and Hanbin had no idea what’s been going on in Jinhwan’s head ever since he confessed.

Hanbin drops the thought, not wanting to get into details of how he dreamt Jinhwan to respond, as he sips from his glass slowly while Bobby stretches out to give him a piece of grilled meat, dipped in chili paste. Today he lets Jiwon take care of him, because it feels like he’s been completely drained of all energy this week – a week Jinhwan’s been practically avoiding him.

- He just needs time, Hanbin-ah, - Bobby tries comforting his friend, but the truth is – he knows why Jinhwan’s been acting this way. He knows the exact reason, but Jinhwan had him promise to keep his mouth shut and it’s too personal to pass from hand to hand anyway. Feeling a bit guilty, Jiwon makes another lettuce wrap for Hanbin, adding just enough soybean paste to the pork he grilled and rolled in sesame oil with salt and love. He started this whole “let’s go have a drink!” thing hoping that Hanbin would unwind a little, but with the second bottle of soju gone, all leader really did was sigh miserably and mutter something about screwing it all up.

But he did screw it up, didn’t he? It’s only two weeks before their debut concert, and now he can’t look Jinhwan in the eye. Something Yunhyeong told them during break was what really got under Hanbin’s skin and left him feeling wrecked like this.

- Jinan-hyung had to leave, - Yunhyeong was slurping down his noodles during lunch when Bobby and B.I joined him, returning from practice with their rap tutor, - Our vocal coach said that he’s been stressing himself too much, stretched his vocal cords or something. So he sent him home to “nurture iKON’s future” afraid he’d just lose his voice.

Hanbin felt so helpless and pathetic after, that he couldn’t even think about going back to the dorm with others, couldn’t face Jinhwan. It’s been one of hyung’s habits ever since they first met as YG trainees – Jinhwan always overworks himself when he needs the distraction. And this time it’s all Hanbin’s fault.

Bobby is the only one, who knows B.I well enough to notice the change in his behavior, so when he offers they go for drinks after practice – Hanbin is grateful. He doesn’t really need alcohol to spill everything out, but it’s easier this way, as if with each shot of soju it becomes less scary to open up.

- Do you think…- Hanbin doesn’t look at Bobby, staring down the glass in his fingers, when he speaks again, - Do you think he feels better now?

- Who? Jinannie? – Bobby bumps B.I’s shoulder fondly, his smile warm and heartening, - Sure he does! He was probably bored to death waiting for us home all alone today! – when Hanbin stays silent for a bit too long, Jiwon rests his hand over his, squeezing it lightly, - Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? You can’t blame yourself for everything he does.

- I don’t know, - Hanbin murmurs into his empty glass, his voice quiet and his smile half-hearted, - He doesn’t really talk to me these days…Just the general ones like “did you eat?” but then he doesn’t even look at me and I-